Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of a Serial Wedding Guest (29 page)

I opened my mailbox, and there it was.

It is the exceedingly rare couple who expects, in offering an invite to their wedding, that the guest will go on to write a book about it. For the openness and generosity with which I have been allowed to witness—and, later, discuss, clarify remembrances, and write about—my friends’ pairings, I offer each of them the deepest, bottom-of-my-heart thanks. You have all taught me much about love, and this book truly would not be possible without you.

This book would also not be possible without two amazing people. To my agent, Ryan Harbage, who got in touch one fateful summer day and asked, “Do you want to write a book?” (Um, yes!), who listened to my ideas and supported them wholeheartedly, who listened to my concerns and told me it would all work out, who most of all listened (and keeps listening), thank you. To the lovely Ali Cardia, my editor-soul mate: You are a wonder—you really are. Every day I’m more impressed with your poise and intelligence and how you just get it. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found myself working with you. Thank you. Thank you, too, Emma
Straub and Julie Klam and Meg Wolitzer, who enlightened me early on as to the many and substantial merits of my publisher, Riverhead, where special thanks are due to Elizabeth Hohenadel, Glory Plata, Megan Lynch, Geoffrey Kloske, Jynne Dilling Martin, Margaret Delaney, Lydia Hirt, and Mary Stone. To all of you at Riverhead Books, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found myself a member of your publishing family.

There are a host of friends who offered thoughts on early versions of the book. One of them, Paige Clancy, read it more than once, offering keen insights and sensitive, considered edits each time. So much love to you, always, my dearest BFF. Sara Barron, Kathleen Baxter, Abby Gardner, Sarah Griffin, Drew Magary, Wendy McClure, Maureen O’Connor, Lizzie O’Leary, Francesca Stabile, Courtney Sullivan, and Jeff Wilser: Your readings, comments, and support have been invaluable and are deeply appreciated. The intrepid trio of Jennifer Perry, Courtney Perry, and Tamal Mannan listened to chapters read aloud into the wee hours of the night and offered critiques and wine (T., you’re an asshole, but I love you!). Over the months I spent working on this book, there have been many others who have read snippets, sometimes in bars on my iPhone. I thank all of them. I realize this party trick may have grown old.

Nick Greene, you are my one-man Gchat support system; drinks are on me. Joe Coscarelli, will I ever forget what you told me about rhetorical questions? Katie Drummond, you were right about opening the document. Spike Friedman, Caitlin Sullivan, Kirsten Magen, Camille Dodero, Richard Lawson, Philip Bump, Maris Kreizman, Michele Filgate, Jason Diamond (and Vol.1 Brooklyn), Jessanne
Collins, Jami Attenberg, Laura McMurchie, Myles Tanzer, Esther Zuckerman, and, oh, so many others who’ve bestowed upon me friendship and kindnesses great and small . . . thank you for being you. I’d also like to extend my appreciation to Gabriel Snyder, Kate Julian, Nicole Allan, and
The Atlantic
, and to the folks at the many media organizations that have kept me in a close relationship with words throughout the years. (Extra-special love goes to The Hairpin, where an essay containing seeds for this book first appeared . . . <3 you, Edith and Emma!). To Alexandra Shelley and the Jane Street Workshop: You were there in the beginning, I haven’t forgotten. Stephanie Coontz, I’m honored you took time out of your busy schedule to discuss your excellent research on marriage with me. Maureen Corrigan and Beth Kephart, consider me ever grateful for your wisdom and kindness—you are both such inspirations.

There are many friends, and a few exes and former friends, who appear in this book in some form or fashion. To them: Please know that I have tried to treat you all with fairness, and that no matter the state of our relationship today, I have cared for you deeply and wish for you the best.

Brad and Scarlett, your just-the-way-it-works-for-you partnership is beautiful, and Mom and Dad, thank you for telling me I could be whatever I wanted to be, but never making me feel I had to be anything different from what I am. I love you.