Safe Haven (4 page)

He reached for his dad and Alex folded him tightly in his arms. Josh began to cry, his shoulders shuddering, and Alex felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what might have been. What would have happened had he not noticed Katie staring at the monitor? What if another minute had passed? The answers to those questions left him shaking as badly as Josh.

In time, Josh’s cries began to slow and he uttered the first words since Alex had pulled him from the water.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” he choked out.

“I’m sorry, too,” Alex whispered in return, and still, he held on to his son, afraid that somehow, if he let go, time would start to run backward, but this time, the outcome would be different.

When he was finally able to loosen his hold on Josh, Alex found himself gazing at a crowd behind the store. Roger was there, as were the customers who’d been eating. Another pair of customers craned their necks, probably just having arrived. And of course, Kristen was there, too. Suddenly he felt like a terrible parent again, because he saw that his little girl was crying and afraid and needed him, too, even though she was nestled in Katie’s arms.

It wasn’t until both Josh and Alex had changed into dry clothes that Alex was able to piece together what had happened. Roger had cooked both kids hamburgers and fries, and they were all sitting at a table in the grill area, though neither of them showed any interest in eating.

“My fishing line got snagged on the boat as it was pulling out, and I didn’t want to lose my fishing rod. I thought the line would snap right away but it pulled me in and I swallowed a bunch of water. Then I couldn’t breathe and it felt like something was holding me down.” Josh hesitated. “I think I dropped my rod in the river.”

Kristen was sitting beside him, her eyes still red and puffy. She’d asked Katie to stay with her for a while, and Katie had remained at her side, holding her hand even now.

“It’s okay. I’ll head out there in a little while and if I can’t find it, I’ll get you a new one. But next time, just let go, okay?”

Josh sniffed and nodded. “I’m really sorry,” he said.

“It was an accident,” Alex assured him.

“But now you won’t let me go fishing.”

And risk losing him again? Alex thought. Not a chance. “We’ll talk about that later, okay?” Alex said instead.

“What if I promise to let go the next time?”

“Like I said, we’ll talk about it later. For now, why don’t you eat something?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I know. But it’s lunchtime and you’ve got to eat.”

Josh reached for a French fry and took a small bite, chewing mechanically. Kristen did the same. At the table, she almost always mimicked Josh. It drove Josh crazy, but he didn’t seem to have the energy right now to protest.

Alex turned to Katie. He swallowed, feeling suddenly nervous. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

She stood up from the table and he led her away from the kids. When they were far enough away that he was sure they wouldn’t hear, he cleared his throat. “I want to thank you for what you did.”

“I didn’t do anything,” she protested.

“Yes,” he said. “You did. Had you not been looking at the monitor, I wouldn’t have known what was happening. I might not have reached him in time.” He paused. “And also, thank you for taking care of Kristen. She’s the sweetest thing in the world, but she’s sensitive. I’m glad you didn’t leave her alone. Even when we had to go up and change.”

“I did what anyone would do,” Katie insisted. In the silence that followed, she suddenly seemed to realize how close they were standing and took a half step backward. “I should really be going.”

“Wait,” Alex said. He walked toward the refrigerated cases at the rear of the store. “Do you like wine?”

She shook her head. “Sometimes, but—”

Before she could finish, he turned around and opened the case. He reached up and pulled out a bottle of chardonnay.

“Please,” he said, “I want you to have it. It’s actually a very good wine. I know you wouldn’t think you could get a good bottle of wine here, but when I was in the army, I had a friend who introduced me to wine. He’s kind of an amateur expert, and he’s the one who picks what I stock. You’ll enjoy it.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He smiled. “As a way to say thank you.”

For the first time since they’d met, she held his gaze. “Okay,” she finally said.

After gathering her groceries, she left the store. Alex returned to the table. With a bit more cajoling, Josh and Kristen finished their lunches, while Alex went to the dock to retrieve the fishing pole. By the time he got back, Joyce was already slipping on her apron, and Alex took the kids for a bike ride. Afterward, he drove them to Wilmington, where they saw a movie and had pizza, the old standbys when it came to spending time with kids. The sun was down and they were tired when they got home, so they showered and put on their pajamas. He lay in bed between them for an hour, reading stories, before finally turning out the lights.

In the living room, he turned on the television and flipped through the channels for a while, but he wasn’t in the mood to watch. Instead, he thought about Josh again, and though he knew that his son was safe upstairs, he felt a ripple of the same fear he’d felt earlier, the same sense of failure. He was doing the best he could and no one could love their kids more than he did, but he couldn’t help feeling that somehow it wasn’t enough.

Later, long after Josh and Kristen had fallen asleep, he went to the kitchen and pulled out a beer from the refrigerator. He nursed it as he sat on the couch. The memories of the day played in his mind, but this time, his thoughts were of his daughter and the way she’d clung to Katie, her little face buried in Katie’s neck.

The last time he’d seen that, he reflected, was when Carly had been alive.

4

A
pril gave way to May and the days continued to pass. The restaurant got steadily busier and the stash of money in Katie’s coffee can grew reassuringly thick. Katie no longer panicked at the thought that she lacked the means to leave this place if she had to.

Even after paying her rent and utilities, along with food, she had extra money for the first time in years. Not a lot, but enough to make her feel light and free. On Friday morning, she stopped at Anna Jean’s, a thrift shop that specialized in secondhand clothes. It took most of the morning to sift through all the clothing, but in the end, she bought two pairs of shoes, a couple of pairs of pants, shorts, three stylish T-shirts, and a few blouses, most of which were name brands of one sort or another and looked almost new. It amazed Katie to think that some women had so many nice clothes that they could donate what would probably cost a small fortune in a department store.

Jo was hanging a wind chime when Katie got home. Since that first meeting, they hadn’t talked much. Jo’s job, whatever it was, seemed to keep her busy and Katie was working as many shifts as she could. At night, she’d notice that Jo’s lights were on, but it was too late for her to drop by, and Jo hadn’t been there the previous weekend.

“Long time, no talk,” Jo said with a wave. She tapped the wind chime, making it ding before crossing the yard.

Katie reached the porch and put the bags down. “Where’ve you been?”

Jo shrugged. “You know how it goes. Late nights, early mornings, going here and there. Half the time, I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction.” She motioned to the rockers. “You mind? I need a break. I’ve been cleaning all morning and I just hung that thing. I like the sound, you know.”

“Go ahead,” Katie said.

Jo sat and rolled her shoulders, working out the kinks. “You’ve been getting some sun,” she commented. “Did you go to the beach?”

“No,” Katie said. She scooted one of the bags aside to make room for her foot. “I picked up some extra day shifts the past couple of weeks and I worked outside on the deck.”

“Sun, water… what else is there? Working at Ivan’s must be like being on vacation.”

Katie laughed. “Not quite. But how about you?”

“No sun, no fun for me these days.” She nodded toward the bags. “I wanted to drop by and mooch a cup of coffee this morning, but you were already gone.”

“I went shopping.”

“I can tell. Did you find anything you liked?”

“I think so,” Katie confessed.

“Well, don’t just sit there, show me what you bought.”

“Are you sure?”

Jo laughed. “I live in a cottage at the end of a gravel road in the middle of nowhere and I’ve been washing cabinets all morning. What else do I have to excite me?”

Katie pulled out a pair of jeans and handed them over. Jo held them up, turning them from front to back. “Wow!” she said. “You must have found these at Anna Jean’s. I love that place.”

“How did you know I went to Anna Jean’s?”

“Because it’s not like any of the stores around here sell things this nice. This came from someone’s closet. A rich woman’s closet. A lot of the stuff is practically new.” Lowering the jeans, Jo ran her finger over the stitching on the pockets. “These are great. I love the designs!” She peeked toward the bag. “What else did you get?”

Katie handed over the items one by one, listening as Jo raved about every piece. When the bag was empty, Jo sighed. “Okay, it’s official. I’m jealous. And let me guess, there’s nothing like any of this left in the store, is there?”

Katie shrugged, feeling suddenly sheepish. “Sorry,” she said. “I was there for a while.”

“Well, good for you. These are treasures.”

Katie nodded toward Jo’s house. “How’s it coming over there?” she asked. “Have you started painting?”

“Not yet.”

“Too busy at work?”

Jo made a face. “The truth is, after I got the unpacking done and I cleaned the place from top to bottom, I sort of ran out of energy. It’s a good thing you’re my friend, since that means I can still come over here where it’s bright and cheery.”

“You’re welcome anytime.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. But evil Mr. Benson is going to deliver some cans of paint tomorrow. Which also explains why I’m here. I’m dreading the very idea of spending my entire weekend covered in splatter.”

“It’s not so bad. It goes fast.”

“Do you see these hands?” Jo said, holding them up. “These were made for caressing handsome men and meant to be adorned with pretty nails and diamond rings. They’re not made for paint rollers and paint splatter and that kind of manual labor.”

Katie giggled. “Do you want me to come over and help?”

“Absolutely not. I’m an expert in procrastination, but the last thing I want you to think is that I’m incompetent, too. Because I’m actually pretty good at what I do.”

A flock of starlings broke from the trees, moving in an almost musical rhythm. The motion of the rockers was making the porch creak slightly.

“What
do
you do?” Katie asked.

“I’m a counselor of sorts.”

“For the high school?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m a grief counselor.”

“Oh,” Katie said. She paused. “I’m not sure what that is.”

Jo shrugged. “I visit with people and try to help them. Usually, it’s because someone close to them has died.” She paused, and when she went on, her voice was softer. “People react in a lot of different ways and it’s up to me to figure out how to help them accept what happened—and I hate that word, by the way, since I’ve yet to meet anyone who
wants
to
accept it
—but that’s pretty much what I’m supposed to do. Because in the end, and no matter how hard it is, acceptance helps people move on with the rest of their lives. But sometimes…”

She trailed off. In the silence, she scratched at a piece of flaking paint on the rocker. “Sometimes, when I’m with someone, other issues come up. That’s what I’ve been dealing with lately. Because sometimes people need help in other ways, too.”

“That sounds rewarding.”

“It is. Even if it has challenges.” She turned toward Katie. “But what about you?”

“You know I work at Ivan’s.”

“But you haven’t told me anything else about yourself.”

“There’s not much to tell,” Katie protested, hoping to deflect the line of questioning.

“Of course there is. Everyone has a story.” She paused. “For instance, what really brought you to Southport?”

“I already told you,” Katie said. “I wanted to start over.”

Jo seemed to stare right through her as she studied the answer. “Okay,” she finally said, her tone light. “You’re right. It’s not my business.”

“That’s not what I said…”

“Yes, you did. You just said it in a nice way. And I respect your answer because you’re right; it isn’t my business. But just so you know, when you say you wanted to start over, the counselor in me wonders why you felt the need to start over. And more important, what you left behind.”

Katie felt her shoulders tense. Sensing her discomfort, Jo went on.

“How about this?” she asked gently. “Forget I even asked the question. Just know that if you ever want to talk, I’m here, okay? I’m good at listening. Especially with friends. And believe it or not, sometimes talking helps.”

“What if I can’t talk about it?” Katie said in an involuntary whisper.

“Then how about this? Ignore the fact that I’m a counselor. We’re just friends, and friends can talk about anything. Like where you were born or something that made you happy as a kid.”

“Why is that important?”

“It isn’t. And that’s the point. You don’t have to say anything at all that you don’t want to say.”

Katie absorbed her words before squinting at Jo. “You’re very good at your job, aren’t you?”

“I try,” Jo conceded.

Katie laced her fingers together in her lap. “All right. I was born in Altoona,” she said.

Jo leaned back in her rocking chair. “I’ve never been there. Is it nice?”

“It’s one of those old railroad towns,” she said, “you know the kind. A town filled with good, hardworking people who are just trying to make a better life for themselves. And it was pretty, too, especially in the fall, when the leaves began to change. I used to think there was no place more beautiful in the world.” She lowered her eyes, half lost in memories. “I used to have a friend named Emily, and together we’d lay pennies on the railroad tracks. After the train went past, we’d scramble around trying to find them, and when we did, we’d always marvel at how any trace of engraving would be completely gone. Sometimes the pennies were still hot. I remember almost burning my fingers one time. When I think back on my childhood, it’s mostly about small pleasures like that.”

Katie shrugged, but Jo remained silent, willing her to go on.

“Anyway, that’s where I went to school. All the way through. I ended up graduating from high school there, but by then, I don’t know… I guess I was tired of… all of it, you know? Small-town life, where every weekend was the same. The same people going to the same parties, the same boys drinking beer in the beds of their pickup trucks. I wanted something more, but college didn’t work out and, long story short, I ended up in Atlantic City. I worked there for a while, moved around a bit, and now, years later, here I am.”

“In another small town where everything stays the same.”

Katie shook her head. “It’s different here. It makes me feel…”

When she hesitated, Jo finished the thought for her.

“Safe?”

When Katie’s startled gaze met hers, Jo seemed bemused. “It’s not that hard to figure out. Like you said, you’re starting over and what better place to start over than a place like this? Where nothing ever happens?” She paused. “Well, that’s not quite true. I heard there was a little excitement a couple of weeks back. When you dropped by the store?”

“You heard about that?”

“It’s a small town. It’s impossible not to hear about it. What happened?”

“It was scary. One minute, I was talking to Alex, and when I saw what was happening on the monitor, I guess he noticed my expression because in the next instant, he was racing past me. He moved through that store like lightning, and then Kristen saw the monitor and started to panic. I scooped her up and followed her dad. By the time I got out there, Alex was already out of the water with Josh. I’m just glad he was okay.”

“Me, too.” Jo nodded. “What do you think of Kristen? Isn’t she just the sweetest thing?”

“She calls me Miss Katie.”

“I love that little girl,” Jo said, drawing her knees up to her chest. “But it doesn’t surprise me that the two of you get along. Or that she reached for you when she was scared.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because she’s a perceptive little thing. She knows you’ve got a good heart.”

Katie made a skeptical face. “Maybe she was just scared about her brother, and when her dad took off I was the only one there.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Like I said, she’s perceptive.” Jo pressed on. “How was Alex? Afterward, I mean?”

“He was still shaken up, but other than that, he seemed all right.”

“Have you talked to him much since then?”

Katie gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not too much. He’s always nice when I come into the store, and he stocks what I need, but that’s about it.”

“He’s good about things like that,” Jo said with assurance.

“You sound like you know him pretty well.”

Jo rocked a little in her chair. “I think I do.”

Katie waited for more, but Jo was silent.

“You want to talk about it?” Katie inquired innocently. “Because talking sometimes helps, especially with a friend.”

Jo’s eyes sparkled. “You know, I always suspected you were a lot craftier than you let on. Throwing my own words back at me. You should be ashamed.”

Katie smiled but said nothing, just as Jo had done with her. And, surprising her, it worked.

“I’m not sure how much I should say,” Jo added. “But I can tell you this: he’s a good man. He’s the kind of man you can count on to do the right thing. You can see that in how much he loves his kids.”

Katie brought her lips together for a moment. “Did you two ever see each other?”

Jo seemed to choose her words carefully. “Yes, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking. And just so we’re clear: it was a long time ago and everyone has moved on.”

Katie wasn’t sure what to make of her answer but didn’t want to press it. “What’s his story, by the way? I take it he’s divorced, right?”

“You should ask him.”

“Me? Why would I want to ask him?”

“Because you asked me,” Jo said, arching an eyebrow. “Which means, of course, that you’re interested in him.”

“I’m not interested in him.”

“Then why would you be wondering about him?”

Katie scowled. “For a friend, you’re kind of manipulative.”

Jo shrugged. “I just tell people what they already know, but are afraid to admit to themselves.”

Katie thought about that. “Just so we’re clear, I’m officially taking back my offer to help you paint your house.”