Safe (21 page)

I craved sex. I had for a long time. I craved that intimate connection with someone. To feel special and cared for. Loved.

But how would my mind react to Landon. I knew in my heart he was nothing like Rob, but would my body be able to distinguish the two. The realization of this made me very nervous.

For the past few years, the only intimacy I had came from my vibrator. That quick orgasm was enough to get the edge off, but I still felt empty after. The funny thing was, the way Landon held me every night this past week, was the most connective intimacy I’d had in three years … maybe more.

This was why I didn’t want him to leave my bed. I wanted him there, even if it was to hold me. I needed it. I needed him. “What are you thinking, Sadie?” Landon pulled back from me, but never broke eye contact.

“You’re a really great kisser,” I said with a smile.

“Thanks. You are, too. I plan on kissing those beautiful lips of yours more often.” His thumb grazed my lip, and I could feel the tingles once again run through my body.

Lost in the moment, he began kissing me again, and I was lost in everything that was Landon. We kissed and kissed. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.

Pulling away from me, Landon pushed the hair away from my face.

“You know this means something, right?” His quiet words were spoken softly.

“I know,” I said, shakily.

“You’re scared,” he said, pulling back and looking into my eyes.

“Yes.” I was so terrified that this was all a dream and it would all go to shit!

“I am too.”

“You are?” Even I heard the shock in my voice.

“Yes. I am. This is different for me.”

What does a girl say to that? I really just wanted to cry—bawl my freaking eyes out. I did feel it, and it scared the shit out of me. I wanted with every fiber of my being for it to be true, but what if I made him mad. Then what? Or what happened when he got bored with me? Lauryn said he’d had a lot of fun.

I really wanted to ask him, but I couldn’t, not when he was looking at me as if I was the only woman in the world he saw. I couldn’t break that.

Holding back from this moment was killing me. Little by little, Landon was chipping away at all my strategically placed walls, designed to keep him out. I wanted with everything I was to believe that I was different than all the others. I wanted it. I wanted
him
.

“I should get you home. It’s getting dark.”

I smiled at him. “Okay.”

He gave me one chaste kiss before rising up from the blanket. He held out his hand for me. I, of course, took it and proceeded to get up. The drive home was quiet and calm. Landon kept his hand resting on my knee. It was as if he was afraid I was going to disappear if he didn’t hold on to me.

Lying in bed next to Landon, he wrapped his arms around me tightly, my back to his front. Except for the first time tonight, he kissed me—long, slow, and deep—before drifting off to sleep.

The Georgia sun drifted into Sadie’s room. I looked down to see her beautiful body wrapped in my arms.

Sadie’s hair was glowing red in the sunlight across the pillows. Her arm was wrapped around my abs, leg hitched over my thighs, and her head rested on my chest.

I absolutely loved this position.

I gently kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair as I had done every morning since I began staying with her. And she was none the wiser. I could still taste Sadie’s sweetness on my lips from those kisses last night. She was the sweetest fucking thing that had ever touched my lips.

For the past several days, I’d been trying my damnedest to keep my dick in check. I wanted so many times to pull her close and kiss her, but I stopped myself each time.

I knew she was dealing with something. I wished I knew what it was, and I wished she would trust me enough to tell me about it. But currently, I didn’t rank high enough yet.

This was the most frustrating fucking part of all this. I wanted—no, I needed—her to trust me. I thought with me staying by her side, helping her during this time, she would see it.

I wanted to help her. I wanted to wipe this pain away, but without knowing, how the hell could I?

That trust wasn’t fully there … yet. But that didn’t mean that I would stop trying. I took her to my lake last night knowing she would find it gorgeous. I’d only taken one other woman there—Stacy.

She did not see the beauty in the trees or the lake. She saw bugs … lots and lots of bugs. I was hoping to get her over that, but life happened, so I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

Seeing Sadie lying on the blanket under the trees, our faces so close, feeling her breath, I had to kiss her. When I asked her, she actually blushed. The deep crimson in her cheeks shot straight to my dick.

When she said yes, I knew I’d hit the jackpot. I couldn’t wait another minute to touch her lips. They were sweeter than I had imagined. All the images in my head of how it would be kissing her were blown to shit.

She made my entire body ache in a way I had never felt. I wanted to consume her and make her mine. MINE. With her lying in my arms, it felt so right. This was what I was supposed to have.

Not to say there wasn’t a spot deep down that didn’t have me playing the
what if
game. What if she pulled a Stacy? But I knew that I had to bury it deep. She wasn’t Stacy—nowhere fucking close.

Watching her go through whatever it was she went through, Sadie whittled her way in, and I wasn’t letting her go. Any thoughts of staying away from her were shot to hell. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to make this pain inside her disappear.

Sadie’s movement on me pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking down at her, she was absolutely stunning. Her sleepy eyes and wild hair were unbelievable.

“Good morning,” I whispered to her.

“Morning.” Her voice was groggy. “What time is it?”

“About nine.”

“I’d better get up and get going.”

“No. Stay. Let me hold you for a while longer.” No way did I want to let her go yet.

Her eyes drifted up to mine, and the light flicked in them. I wanted to kiss her. I pulled her closer to me and angled my mouth toward her.

“No,” she said and jumped away from me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Morning breath.” Relief washed over me. So she didn’t regret the kiss last night ... This put a huge smile on my face.

“I don’t care about that. Come here.” I didn’t. I wanted her lips.

Sadie’s eyes grew big almost as if she was scared. Shit. Did she think I would hurt her? “Sadie, it’s okay … really.”

Something washed over her eyes that I couldn’t figure out, but after a few seconds of working out what was going on in her head, she came up and kissed me.

The kiss was just as intense as the one from last night. My tongue bushed hers and the sensation went straight to my dick. I knew I was hard as a fucking rock, but I wouldn’t go there with her. Not yet.

I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and deepened the kiss more. I wanted to devour her and just could not get close enough. Sadie continued her own assault on my lips, and I loved every fucking minute.

Breathless, she pulled back from me and looked into my eyes. Hers showed what looked like fear, and I didn’t know why. “What’s wrong baby?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t brush before kissing you,” she whispered.

Where the fuck was this coming from? I could give two shits if she did or not. I just wanted her close.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I loved it.”

The light that faded in her eyes from fear came back to me, shining brightly. I loved that look on her—so full of life and Sadie. I smiled down at her and she returned me the honor of showing her beautiful smile.

“Tonight is dinner at my folks,” I said.

“Yeah. I’m a bit nervous.”

The warmth I felt from this statement knocked me on my ass. She was opening up to me. She was telling me how she felt. She was starting to trust me.

“Don’t be. You’ve met everyone but Pop. No reason to worry.” I smiled at her.

I pulled Sadie underneath me and lay on top of her, with half of my body on the bed. I wanted her to feel me.

“I know. Just, I know we don’t talk about what happened the other day, and I don’t know if they know. I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“I’ll tell them you’re not ready. No worries.”

She smiled up at me, and I began kissing her again. She was more than willing, and when her hands threaded through my hair pulling me down to her, I took it and ran.

I hadn’t made out with a woman like this since high school, and I loved every minute of it.

The day had flown by. I thought it would be relaxing, but I was so wrong.

Waking up to Landon had become my absolute favorite thing since I’d gotten here. I loved his warmth, and oh my, his kisses. His Earth-shattering, knock me on my ass kisses were eating me alive. I so wanted more. I couldn’t seem to make myself stop.

I loved kissing him first thing this morning. Rob never let me kiss him without brushing my teeth first. He would call me gross, dirty, and a few other fun names. So, as soon as I woke up, I always went to the bathroom and brushed. It made the morning go so much smoother.

When Landon vowed he didn’t care, I was so touched that I didn’t know how to process it at first. I didn’t know where it fit. I finally decided it went in the ‘fuck it’ category and went for it. I was so glad I did.

Before Landon left, he found any way to touch or kiss me around the house. It would be a light brush of the hand across my back or a chaste kiss on the cheek. It was really sweet and almost felt as if he couldn’t keep his hands off me.

This was nice, and I was eating it up.

“Let’s go Sadie; we need to find you something to wear!” Lauryn’s voice pulled me out of my daydream.

“Is it time already?” I asked.

“Hell yeah! We have a dinner to go to. Move your ass!” She was smiling so I knew she was messing with me.

We walked to my room and began the ritual of getting ready.

She bum-rushed my closet and started tearing through it. I didn’t think she would ever find anything she liked. She threw shirts and skirts everywhere. “I hope you know you’re picking all this shit up, right?” She smiled and kept going at it.

I decided to go lay on my bed ‘cause I was so not needed for this part.

“So, you gonna tell me how yesterday went? Landon couldn’t seem to keep his hands off you today, so I’m assuming good?”

I knew I was blushing. She didn’t miss a damn thing, did she?

“It was really nice. He kissed me.”

“I figured that with the whole goodbye kiss thing you gave him today. Damn girl, that was
hot
!”

“It always is when his lips touch mine.”

“Wow.” She turned around and started digging though my closet again. Turning back around, she held up a dress.

It was one of my favorites. This dress screamed classy. It was navy blue and made of some very soft fabric, but don’t ask me what ‘cause I had no clue. I was happiest in jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. It was a one-shoulder dress that had one long sleeve and the other side was open. A small belt latched under my boobs and the material fell down to my knees.

“Perfect.” It was the perfect dress for this.