Rush of Innocence (Rush Series #1) (18 page)

She
lifted her glass and drank from it carefully. She picked at the food on her
plate and struggled to ignore the tingling at the back of her neck which let
her know Rush was still in the room. The dinner plates were removed and dessert
served, and then eventually those plates were picked up as well.

The
orchestra was setting up to play when her father excused himself from the table.
With her eyes trained on her water glass, it wasn’t until she heard his voice
through the speakers that she became aware that her father was on the dais
speaking.

“Good evening, everyone.
I wanted to personally thank everyone for attending and supporting
such a worthy cause. I feel doubly blessed to have my own daughter with me
tonight. I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to wish her a happy
birthday. My little girl turned twenty-three today. Trinity, will you please
stand?”

She’d
forgotten her own birthday
.
With her
face reddened, she complied, but kept her back to the audience. She gave a
small wave and smiled briefly to her father, who she was going to kill later
for this, before sitting back down. Her father moved the topic away from her
and her birthday and continued on about the benefits and worthiness of Eternity
House.

Once
he was reseated, music began to be played by an orchestra and people began
filtering to the dance floor. Her father stood and extended a hand to her.
Never having felt like dancing less, she placed her hand in his and stood. He
led her to the floor and they circled it dancing a familiar waltz. At the end
of the song, her father bowed to her and she smiled at the formality of the
gesture. They’d stepped to return to their table when the tiny hairs on the
nape of her neck stood up. She turned her head to see Rush walking purposely
towards them. Her heart began to pound. Beside her, her father turned to see
what had captured her attention and tensed.

Rush
gave a nod to her father. Gruffly, he said, “Judge Grace.”

“Drayton,”
her father responded.

Rush
extended a hand to her. “May I have this dance?”

Not
sure how to get out of it without causing a scene, she gave a small nod and
turned back towards the dance floor. She shivered at the feel of his hand
against the bared skin of her lower back. He slid one arm around her and held
her hand with the other. He moved them smoothly around the dance floor. She
looked up into his godlike face and her stomach clenched. He stared down at her
with such intensity she was forced to look away. He pulled her a little closer
to him.

“Happy
birthday,” he said.

Staring
at a spot just past his shoulder, she murmured, “Thank you.”

They
danced in silence for a minute and she wondered how long she could endure being
this close to him and not breaking down. Her heart was beating frantically in
her chest and her breathing was rapid.

“I
can’t seem to stay away from you,” he finally said softly.

She
swallowed hard and blurted out before she could stop herself, “Then don’t.”

“I
don’t want to hurt you.”

She
gave a small smile with trembling lips.
“Too late.”

“I…
never intended for things to get this deep. I have to try and protect you the
only way I can,” he said.

She
lifted confused eyes to his. “Protect me from what?”

His
lips twisted wryly, “Me.”

“I
don’t understand,” she said in frustration.

“I
know and I’m sorry. I wish… things could have been different.”

She
shook her head at his confusing words and shifted her eyes from his as tears
sprang into them. “I… I can’t be with you. It just hurts too much,” she said
softly.

His
body tensed underneath her hands. “I understand. Thanks for the dance.” He
released his hold on her and with a nod of his head, he walked away. She followed
him with her eyes until he sat down next to Hillary Reed.

She
made the walk back to her table on unsteady legs. Her chest burned and she
struggled to regain control of her rioting emotions. She began to get
lightheaded and her stomach became queasy. She’d nearly reached her table when
her hands began to tremble and a fine sheen of perspiration formed on her upper
lip. She swallowed and blinked rapidly as black spots appeared before her eyes.
Heat swept over her, suffocating her with its intensity. A distant ringing
began in her ears and became steadily louder until it hurt. She saw her father
rise from his seat just as she slumped to the floor.

She
regained consciousness to find herself surrounded by numerous faces.
Embarrassment caused a deep stain to creep up her face. Her father was kneeling
beside her, concern sketched on his face.

“Sweetheart.
How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Please
take me home,” she begged quietly.

“Alex
is bringing the car around. We’ll make a quick stop by the hospital and then
we’ll go home. Okay?”

“I’m
fine. I just want to go home. Please,” she beseeched him as tears formed in her
eyes.

“We
need to ensure you’re all right,” he said, patting her hand.

“Please
help me up. All these people are staring at me.”

Her
father waited until Alex appeared to help her up. They sandwiched her between
them and on still trembling legs, they helped her across the room. She kept her
head bowed not wanting to see the people who’d watched her fall to the floor.
They’d gotten almost to the doors, when her father and Alex paused. She glanced
up to see the obstacle in their path. She inhaled sharply as she met the hazel
eyes of Rush Drayton. His unerringly amazing face was marred with concern. He
stepped towards her.

“Are
you okay, Trinity?” he asked.

Her
heart felt as if a giant fist had it squeezed within its grasp. She closed her
eyes briefly against the pain. Inhaling deeply to level her voice, she said,
“Yes, thank you. If you’ll excuse us,” she said dismissively.

He
stepped closer and raised a hand as if to touch her but dropped it instead.
“Good. Well, I hope you feel better,” he murmured, as he turned on his heel and
walked away.

As
they rode in the car, her father sitting beside her, he turned to her and
asked, “How often do you see Rush Drayton?”

With
her head leaned back and her eyes closed, she murmured, “I don’t see him. As I
sure your minions can attest to.”

She
felt her father’s eyes on her but didn’t raise her head. “He’s a very dangerous
man. You need to stay away from him, Trinity. Promise me, you will.”

“As
he ended it between us weeks ago, Father, I don’t think that will be a
problem.”

While
she begged her father not to, he was persistent in taking her by the hospital.
So there she sat in a small room waiting for her blood work to come back. Her
father and Alex were waiting for her in the waiting room. A knock on the door
alerted her to the doctor’s presence. The harried young intern gave her a small
smile.

“Ms.
Grace, it looks like congratulations are in order…”

Chapter 10

Pregnant.
What was she going to do? She sat
quietly in shock in the back of the car. Her father was going to go insane when
she told him… especially because of
who
the father
was. This was bad, very bad. She should have told her father the minute he
asked what the doctor had said, but instead, she’d just said everything was
fine. The easiest way around this problem was to just get rid of the baby. But
she couldn’t do it. She’d never be able to live with herself. Did she tell
Rush? She supposed eventually she would have to tell him. He deserved to know.
She wondered how he would
react?

How
had this happened? She sat up quickly when she remembered the hot tub. She’d
been so desperate to have him, she’d let passion overrule good sense. Rush
would probably think she orchestrated everything to trap him into a
relationship with her. What was she to do?

She
tossed and turned all night, but still didn’t come up with any answers. She had
to tell her father. While he wouldn’t be happy, he would eventually come to
support her. He was her father and he loved her.

She
found her father in his study the next morning. She took a deep breath and
tapped on his door. Walking to the desk, she sat in one of two chairs facing
it. She ran nervous hands, slick with sweat down her pants.

“What
is it, Trinity?” her father asked with a touch of impatience.

“I
have something I need to tell you,” she said quietly.

Her
father sat back at her tone and eyed her speculatively. “Yes, what is it?”

She
coughed nervously and rose from the chair unable to sit still. She rubbed her
hands together. Clearing her throat, she said, “I’m pregnant.”

He
gasped at her words. “Pregnant?” he whispered. “Pregnant,” he said the word
almost in a shout. “How could this have happened? I’ve done my best to
safeguard you from this very thing. Why do you think I eliminated all the
others? And yet, you sneak out and do that very thing… and with him, of all
people. Do you realize what you’ve done? Do you realize the shame and disgrace
you have brought onto our family? I’m a Judge… a high-ranking official, and you
have soiled our family name. There is no other alternative; you need to get rid
of it, and the sooner, the better.”

She
whipped her head up at his words. Rage flooded her. “I’m sorry you feel that way.
But that is not your decision to make. I’m keeping this baby. And I’ll do this
with or without you. In fact, I’ll go one step further; tomorrow I’ll begin
looking for my own place. That way, you won’t have to live with my shame,” she
declared.

He
leaned back in his chair and
steepled
his fingers.
“And how does the perspective father feel about you being pregnant?”

“I… I
haven’t told him.”

“I
think it’d be better if you didn’t. I can’t emphasize enough how dangerous the
man is. Outside of being evil, he is quite the ladies’ man. You sure can pick
them,” he said mockingly.

“I
don’t know what I’ll do yet. But the decision will be mine,” she answered
quietly as hurt swept over her. Her father was probably right. She was probably
just one girl in a long line for Rush Drayton.

Her
father sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Listen, Trinity, I’m
sorry for speaking so harshly to you, but I’m your father and I know what’s
involved in rearing a child alone. It’s not the life I wanted for you. Let’s
just wait until things calm down before we begin making any rash decisions. But
I think you should seriously consider what having a child with Rush Drayton
will entail. He’s an extremely wealthy man from a powerful family. Odds are
,
if he finds out about the baby, he’ll take it from you
anyway. So what have you gained by going through the pain of having a child? I
don’t want you to move out. This is your home… it will always be your home, no
matter what decisions you make.”

Tears
clogged her throat at the truth of his words so she just nodded her head before
leaving the room.

She
lay in bed that night with her hand over her stomach. What was she going to do?
She knew the decision to move out was the best thing for her. Her father would
continue trying to force her to make decisions based on what he wanted… not
what was best for her.

The
next morning, she rose and was hit by a wave of nausea so strong she barely
made it to the bathroom. Once she could get her stomach settled, she dressed
and met her father at the breakfast table.

As
she nibbled on a piece of toast, she said, “I think it would be better if I
find my own place.”

He
set his coffee cup down carefully and eyed her for a long time. “Trinity, if
you decide to go along with the pregnancy, you will need my help. Stay here.
This is your home.”

“I
appreciate that, but I think its time I got out on my own. I have a job and I
have my heritance. It’s… time,” she said as she rose. “I’ll see you after
work.”

“One
more thing before you
go
. I want to let you know that
I’m getting a new security team today. They should be in place by lunchtime.
One will be by to guard you at your office. Wait for him, okay?”

“What
happened to Alex and his team?” she asked.

“Alex
forgot who ultimately was in charge. It was time for him to go,” her father
answered evasively.

She
nodded her head at his strange answer and headed off to work.

***

Trinity was thankful she had three
different projects she’d just started at work. She didn’t want time to think.
She worked throughout the morning. The new security guard hadn’t arrived by
noon. Not that she minded
,
she needed some time alone.
As was her norm, she grabbed a sandwich and headed over to the museum. She sat
on the bench she’d claimed as her own in the atrium in front of the statues.
She ate as much of the sandwich as she could manage, but her nerves wouldn’t
allow for much. She still didn’t know what to do about Rush and the baby. She
tried to make sense out of the things he’d said to her at the ball, but it made
no sense. What did she need protection from?

She
rose from the bench and walked to the weathered glass and stared out at the
riotous blooms on the bushes outside. She felt very overwhelmed. She wrapped
her arms protectively around her middle.

“I
thought I might find you here.”

Her
breath left her in a gush and she closed her eyes against the pain of Rush’s
voice behind her. She couldn’t deal with him right now.

“What
do you want, Rush?”

“I
was worried about you. I went by your office. Since you weren’t there, I took a
chance and came here.”

“I’m
fine,” she said, knowing she should just tell him, but was afraid.

He
walked over to stand a little way away from her. He stood with his hands shoved
down into his pants pocket. “I’m glad.”

Her
heart seized at standing close enough to smell his musky cologne and see his
godlike features. Her mind whirled at her available options. She struggled to
find the words to tell him, but it was just all too new. She couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t force the words out of her mouth.

She
was glad her hands were wrapped around her middle so he couldn’t see their
trembling. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. With as much edge as she
could manage, she asked, “Was there anything else?”

He
lifted a hand to rub across his face. “I never wanted to hurt you, Trinity. I
tried everything I could think of so that you wouldn’t be. I just… wasn’t
strong enough.”

Unwanted
tears slid down her cheeks. “I don’t understand,” she said, her throat clogged
with tears.

He
exhaled sharply. “I know you don’t, and I’m sorry. I want you to know I enjoyed
our time together. My decision to end it had nothing to do with you.”

She
gave a watery laugh. “It’s me, not you? Surely with your wealth of experience,
you could come up with something better than that.”

He
gave her a wry smile. “Be happy, Trinity Grace. I will miss you.” Without
another word, he turned and walked away, the click of his shoes on the marble
tiles echoing through the hallway.

She
sat heavily on the stone bench and lifted a hand to stifle her sobs at the
finality of his words. Would the pain ever lessen? His words never made any
sense to her. He spoke as if his decisions weren’t his own to make. She thought
again of her father’s files and the guys who’d been eliminated. Did her father
have something on Rush?

Digging
her cellphone out of her purse, she called Gavin and told him she wasn’t
feeling well and wouldn’t be back to work. She then called for a taxi.

Sliding
into the backseat, she said to the driver, “District Courthouse, please.”

Trinity
swept through the halls of the courthouse she’d been walking through since
she’d been a young girl. She walked purposefully to the elevator bank located
in the center of the building and pushed the button for the third floor. She
entered her father’s suite of offices. Mrs. Callie, who’d been his secretary
for longer than Trinity could remember, sat at her desk, her fingers causing
the computer keys to click madly. She looked up when Trinity entered the
office.

“Trinity!
How
nice to see you. It’s been a long time.”

Trinity
gave her a small smile.
“Hi, Mrs. Callie.
How have you
been?”

“Working
like a racehorse since your father returned,” she said with a laugh.

“I’ll
bet,” Trinity said. “Is he in?”

“Oh no.
He’s
in the middle of a case. He should be back in his office in about an hour or
so, if you want to wait.”

“I
think I will.”

Trinity
gave Mrs. Callie another smile and headed into her father’s office. She sat in
the chair facing his desk and closed her eyes. The strain of the last month was
fast catching up on her. Her mind whirled at the decisions she needed to make.
With abortion being an unaccepted option, she needed to begin making plans for
being a new mom. What did she know about being a mom? She barely remembered her
own. And for the hundredth time, she wondered what to do about Rush.

She
woke to a hand on her shoulder. She jerked up and looked into the stern face of
her father.

“Trinity,
why are you not at work? Is everything all right?” Arthur Grace asked.

She
tilted her face as he leaned down to kiss her cheek.
“Hi,
Dad.
I wanted to talk to you, if you have a minute.”

Arthur
Grace removed his black robe and hung it on the coatrack in the corner of his
office before sitting down behind his massive desk. He leaned forward and
poured coffee from an antique coffee urn into a cup and sat back in his seat.

“What
can I do for you?” he asked as he sipped his coffee.

She
studied him carefully as she chewed the inside of her lip. “I want to ask you
something, and I need to know the truth, okay?”

“Of course.
I’m
always truthful with you, Trinity.”

“What
did you have on Rush Drayton?” she asked simply.

He
glanced up at her quickly before his mask of passivity was slipped back into
place. In a forced casual manner, he took another sip of coffee. “Whatever do
you mean?”

Her
heart began to beat wildly and she struggled to breathe. “What did you have on
Rush that would force him to stop seeing me?” she asked from between clenched
teeth.

Arthur
Grace leaned back in his chair and gave her a sympathetic smile.
“Trinity, sweetheart.
Why would you think your breakup would
have anything to do with me? I know you won’t believe this, but I never wanted
you hurt. I won’t say I’m unhappy about your breakup, but really, what control
would I have over a man like him?”

“Why
didn’t you tell me you were his dad’s boss? Why did that seem to be such a
point for him? And who is
Tiko
Mars?”

He
sat contemplating her for several minutes. “Honey, I know he broke your heart
and you’re hurting. But don’t go looking for shadows were there aren’t any.”

“Answer
my questions, please.”

He
sighed heavily as if aggrieved. “Blake Drayton was not a nice man. He was an
Assistant DA when you and your mother were kidnapped. He tried to use the
tragedy of that event to come after my job. I know how painful those memories
are for you; it wasn’t something I wanted to bring up.”

“What
about his mother? He seemed to want to make a point about his mother to you as
well,” she said.

“Adrianna
Drayton was having an affair with someone at the courthouse. It was assumed it
was someone in the DA’s office, but I never knew who it was. When Blake was
killed in lockup, she committed suicide. I can’t say I know why. I really don’t
know what point he was trying to make.”