Running on Empty (34 page)

“Sabrina. Think this through. They falsified DNA results inside a government agency. Killed innocent civilians. Stole a body from his grave to hide the identity. Pulled the wool over the eyes of some of the smartest and savviest people in covert ops. These bastards have proven they can and will do whatever they have to do to get the information they want.” 

“Then why haven’t they come for you again? I know you’re not exactly living high profile, but you haven’t been underground, either. If they’re so damn smart, then why haven’t they already found you and taken you? Hell, you walked through the freaking Agency, making yourself an open target.” 

“I don’t know. What I do know is I’m not going to wait around and let them call the shots. When they try for me again, they’re not going to find the same man they did before.” 

“They’ll know it’s a setup.” 

“Of course they will. With their arrogance, they’ll still think they can win.” 

“This is insane. I won’t let you do this.” 

“You have no say or input. I’m telling you out of courtesy. It’s already a done deal. I sent the message out this morning.” 

The pain was massive. Swept through her like a tidal wave. And it shouldn’t have. They were no longer partners, and he’d gone out of his way to make sure she knew they weren’t partners in marriage, either. “I guess I should be grateful you thought to mention it to me at all. Thanks for putting me in my place.” 

“Stop it. This is about bringing down the bastards who did this to me. Nothing more.” 

White-hot fury incinerated the hurt. She stalked toward him, anger vibrating in every muscle. “You listen to me. I’m sick and tired of you saying they did this to you. Yes, I know you suffered, but damn you, Declan Steele, they took my husband away. Destroyed my marriage. Almost killed me. They damn well did this to both of us.” 

Though regret dimmed his eyes, she saw no softening in his expression. “I misspoke. That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that these people are trying to destroy more than an EDJE agent and a former agent. They want to destroy hundreds, perhaps thousands, of lives. Even bring down the entire Agency. This is bigger than you and me.” 

And now she felt like a selfish bitch, because, of course, he was right. She drew in a ragged breath. “Okay. Where and when do we do this?” 

His jaw took on that implacable tilt that she hated. “I told you…you’re not involved. As I said, I advised you out of courtesy, nothing more.” 

“Tough shit, macho man. I will be involved, and you can’t stop me.”

 “Oh yes, I can.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Think, Sabrina. If they can use you against me, they will.”

“They won’t be able to.” 

“If they got you, they could.” 

“You’ve made it perfectly clear that our marriage is over. That you feel nothing for me anymore. Using me would be pointless.” 

“They don’t know that.” 

Ha! And she hadn’t thought the pain could get any worse. She swallowed hard. “Okay. Who are you going to use?” 

“McCall has offered LCR’s help. I turned him down. He—” 

“Of course you did. You’re the great and powerful Declan Steele, able to leap over tall buildings, see through walls and outrun bullets. Oh, no, wait, that’s a superhero. And damn you, that’s not you. They will fucking kill you this time, Declan. Does that even matter to you?”

Hot anger glittered in his eyes. “They won’t get me, Sabrina.”

She turned her back to him and forced her legs to walk away. For the first time in years, she feared the violence inside her. She had fought like hell to overcome that depth of anger.

A hard hand landed on her arm and pulled her around. With rage and deep hurt as the impetus, she threw a hard punch at his face. He caught her fist. Undeterred, she threw a punch with her left fist, which he caught, too. 

She wanted to howl her fury, to cry at the hurt he’d dealt her, and she wanted to apologize for striking out at him.

Instead of retaliating or responding with anger, he did something so very Declan. Holding both wrists in one hand, he lifted them above her head and then pushed her backward a few steps until she was pressed against the wall. He moved in closer, melding his body against hers. Even though he held her, she could have easily gotten away, and he gave her plenty of time to do so. Instead, she whispered his name.

He lowered his mouth to hers, and she prepared herself for an assault. It should have been a brutal kiss. She could feel the violence vibrating through him. Instead, when his mouth touched hers, it was tender, soft. This was a kiss a man gives a woman he cherishes. It was a kiss of love. 

She could have fought an angry kiss. She couldn’t fight this one. Didn’t want to fight.

With her hands trapped above her, the only way she could show him what she wanted was with her lips and body. Her mouth open to receive his tongue, she sucked gently and then tangled and dueled with him. Her body heated, flushed with arousal, softened, preparing itself to be taken, conquered, loved.

“Declan,” she murmured softly.

“Little Fox,” he answered back.

They rubbed against each other, creating a friction, increasing their heat, their need. Then he stepped back and, amazingly, even with one hand occupied holding her wrists, managed to undress her. Of course, her wiggling and stepping out of clothes when he instructed her helped a lot.

Sabrina felt like a sacrifice. Arms over her head, pressed up against the wall, offering herself up to be taken, devoured. The sapphire flame in his eyes had never burned brighter as they roamed over her naked, trembling body. And every place his gaze landed pulsed with needy excitement. Her nipples ached for his mouth, his hands. Her sex throbbed, wet with arousal, her body readying itself for her lover.

“You are so damn beautiful,” he growled.

Breath hitching in her throat, she whispered a sultry invitation, “And I’m yours for the taking.”

He lowered his mouth, and she opened hers to accept him. Instead of kissing her lips, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sabrina. Lass
.
” His voice held an achingly husky tone, the slight hint of his Scottish heritage sending another rush of need throughout her being.

She wasn’t above begging, and she opened her mouth to do just that. “Don’t stop, Declan. Let’s at least have this one last time together.” 

He answered her in the best way possible. Covering her aching nipple with his hot mouth, he sucked on her so unexpectedly deep and hard, she rocketed past full arousal and teetered on the edge of orgasm. Still holding her wrists, he used his other hand to leisurely explore her body. All the while, his mouth drew deeply on her nipple. The throb between her legs began to match the rhythm of his mouth. His fingertips lightly grazed her clit, and just like that…just as he had always been able to make her do, she soared over the edge and into an explosive, body-clenching climax.

As she drifted back to reality, she heard his soft, reassuring words. Nonsensical and pitched in an even thicker brogue. 

“Declan. I need to touch you.”

He released her wrists, allowing her arms to drop, but before she could glide her hands over the hard body she so loved, he went to his knees before her, opened her folds and pressed his lips to her in an openmouthed kiss. Sabrina cried out, unable to control the new climax washing over her. Her fingers wove into his thick hair as she held him to her center and rode out the waves. His tongue thrust gently into her, allowing her to once again settle softly, quietly.

Declan drew in a breath. He would never get enough of her taste. No matter how far he went away from her, how badly he wanted to deny it, Sabrina owned him—his heart, his mind, his body. 

“Declan,” she whispered softly above him. “I want you inside me.”

His smile one of wicked mischief, he said, “My pleasure, Little Fox.” Holding her hips steady against the wall, his big hands spread across her lower abdomen, while his thumbs parted her again. He heard her soft protest, knew she’d meant another body part, but he couldn’t resist. “Once more, my darling.” 

His tongue went deep, retreated, swirled around the outer edges, licked, went deep again. He could feel the tenseness in her body as it tightened, heading toward another release. Wanting to hold off just a little while longer, he drew back and blew softly all over her exposed sex. The whimper she gave made him smile.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to delay her much longer and on the verge of explosion himself, he put his mouth to her again and lashed at her with his tongue, inside and out, and then he sucked…hard. Her entire body went taut as a violin string, and she came hard.

Unable to wait a second longer, he stood, gathered her in his arms and carried her upstairs. When he would have gone to his bedroom, she said in a breathless, husky voice, “No. Let’s use mine. It’s bigger.”

 Barely able to speak, since his jaw felt it might break from the strain, he headed to her bedroom. Pushing open the half-closed door, he strode to the bed, dropped her onto the crimson-red comforter and stepped back. Her eyes reflected a look of panic, and he knew she feared he would leave her. He said nothing. Just stripped down to nothing and joined her.

The instant his knee touched the bed, she opened her arms. His eyes stung. The love and acceptance on her face, the open way she welcomed his body, was like coming home. Refusing to dwell on whether this was a massive mistake or not, Declan settled between her open legs, pushed her knees to her chest and thrust deep. 

Sabrina gasped, and Declan stilled within her, allowing her to adjust, accept. When he felt the give, her breath shuddering out softly, he began to move. Keeping her legs up and spread, he controlled his movements and hers. Their gazes locked, her eyes telling him of her love, her acceptance, her total faith in them, in him. He could only imagine what his eyes were telling her, but no way could he look away. No way would he allow himself to miss the beauty before him. Face flushed with excitement, eyes glazed with passion, lush breasts swollen and ripe with arousal. 

His thrusts became harder, less controlled. Release coming quicker than he wanted, determined that she would come with him, he reached between their bodies and pressed his thumb at the top of her sex. Her eyes widened as her body spasmed, and that was Declan’s signal. Pounding hard, deep, the intensity almost more than he could bear, he came with a roar, shouting her name in surrender.

Sabrina woke to an empty bed. Her body felt sore and deliciously used. She wanted to snuggle back into her pillow and relive the last few hours. The entire room smelled of passion, sex, and Declan. She wanted to savor, remember. She couldn’t.

Declan was getting ready to leave. She could hear him rummaging around in his bedroom. She squinted at the clock, surprised that it was almost dawn. She knew he had only left her about half an hour ago, which meant he’d held her all night. She didn’t know whether to rejoice in that or sob her heart out. Had he done it because he’d finally acknowledged what he still felt for her, or had he stayed because he was determined that this was their last time together? She greatly feared she knew the answer to that.

How could he deny their love? No man could make love to a woman the way Declan had and not have an intense love for her. No, she wasn’t being a silly, romantic fool. She was his wife. She knew this man backward and forward. Yes, he had changed, but not in the way he believed.

Hearing him stomping down the stairs, Sabrina threw the covers back and leaped out of bed. Snagging her robe at the foot of the bed on the way out of the room, she ran down the stairway and caught him in the foyer just as he was about to open the front door. He was going to leave without even saying good-bye.

“Where are you going?”

He froze, didn’t turn. “Got a few things to do to set this up.”

“When does it go down?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

“Declan, I—”

He turned to face her. “Don’t say it, Sabrina. I’ll be all right. It’ll work out.” He took one last look at her face and then put his hand on the doorknob. 

“Wait. You need to hear this.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Make time.”

“We can talk after everything’s over.”

“And if it’s never over? What then?”

“One way or other, it will be over.”

“Okay, fine. It will be over, but I need to tell you something, and you need to listen.” When she saw he would argue again, she added, “You owe me this, Declan.”

Damned if he could argue with that.

“Fine. Say it.”

Her full, mobile mouth curved in a rueful smile. “Not exactly the atmosphere I wanted, but I’ll take what I can get.” She went to him, stood within inches of him, and cupped his face in her hands. “I love you, Declan. I have for years. Our marriage vows of till death do us part never worked for me. Even when I thought you were dead, you owned my heart. I will always love you.”

“Sabrina…don’t.”

“You say you’re not the same man. I disagree. They might have done a lot of things to you…to your body and your mind, but they couldn’t touch the core of the man you are. Strong, resilient, heroic, and good. That’s still inside you.”

“I’ve told you—”

“Yes, I know. You’ve made yourself perfectly clear. You’ve told me those things are gone for good. That you’re just an empty shell. Let me be just as clear. Empty shell or the same man as before, or somewhere in between, I love you, Declan Steele. No matter what the future holds, no matter where you go, what you do. That will never change. You will have my love forever. Whether you want it or not. Our forever after got interrupted, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. We can still be together.” 

Grinding his teeth, refusing to give in to his need to touch her, he said, “Is that all?”

“No, there’s one more thing.”

“And that is?”

“You still love me, too. Deny it all you want, but I know the truth.”

He kissed her. That was his only way to protect himself, to get her to stop talking. His only weapon against words he couldn’t defend or argue. Pulling away, he whispered softly, “Good-bye, Little Fox,” and walked out the door.