Run This Town 03 - (Watch Me) Unmask You (7 page)

Hard as Lucky was, wet as his cock head was, he got harder when Elias groaned, wetter when he deepened the kiss, mouth wide and hungry and so possessive. Much like the last time, but different, too. Lucky still floundered under every rasp of Elias’s tongue, he still arched at every scratch of Elias’s fingertips down his back.

He still needed this. This man. His touch.

He pulled away, breaking the kiss. Their lips parted with a loud, wet sound. “Don’t.” He made tracks to the other side of the space. “Don’t.”

Elias just watched him, eyes narrowed, cheeks flushed, lips wet.

Lucky covered his face with both hands, trying to breathe, but that only brought Elias’s scent into his lungs. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and straightened his spine. “I don’t trust you.” His hands were shaking, adrenaline dump or the absence of Elias’s touch? He didn’t care to find out the cause. “I don’t trust you to stay.”

“Lucky—”

“I need someone who stays.” The words tumbled out, breaking as they fell. “Everyone leaves.” Grief grabbed him by the throat, a suffocating chokehold. “I need someone to be there.” He fisted his hands as he spoke, wanting to hit something, because he hadn’t intended to put that out there. He hadn’t intended to sound so lost and fragile, like that kid Elias rescued back then.

“I’ve always been here, Lucky,” Elias said softly. “Just because you haven’t seen me doesn’t mean I haven’t been protecting you, watching over you.”

Lucky covered his eyes and banged his head against the wall. “That’s why I’m not going to do this with you. Because you don’t seem to fucking get that I didn’t need you there, in the shadows. I needed you 
here.
With me.” He dropped his hand. “So you watched me. Did you see me alone in my head, worrying over you? Did you see me waiting night after night for you to come sneaking in like some kinda thief? Did you see me stalking the mailbox to see if you’d sent me a Goddamn postcard, something to let me know you were alive?”

Elias didn’t speak.

“You watched me, right? Did you see the moment I gave up on waiting for you and went hunting for a man, any man to help me wipe away your memories, your touch?’

A muscle leapt in Elias’s cheek. Lucky didn’t stop, he couldn’t. He’d waited three years to say all of it.

“Did you see me lose myself in all those one-night stands, the anonymous sex, searching for something I knew, 
knew
, only you could ever provide?”

Elias reached him in two strides and hauled Lucky into his arms, pressing against the door, taking his mouth again. This kiss was brutal, harsh, punishing. Lucky whimpered, lifting his legs to wrap them around Elias’s waist. They fought to lead, heads twisting this way and that. Elias held his face with both hands, breath harsh, heart thumping against Lucky’s chest.

This. He’d been searching for this, knowing damn well only one man could give it to him.

Right now, Elias did, he brought the explosion, eating, biting away at Lucky’s mouth, consuming him. Nothing mattered, not the distance and the years apart, not when Elias touched him deep inside, where Lucky allowed no one else. His tongue whipped through Lucky’s mouth as though trying to stamp his mark of possession. Lucky could tell him nothing ever mattered to him but Elias, but he was too caught up in trying to stake his own claim, wipe away anyone else Elias had ever been with. There should only ever be him. He wrapped Elias’s ponytail around his hand and yanked on it.

Elias grunted and reared back, eyes opening. His pupils were shot, irises a darker blue in his aroused state. They panted, chests heaving as they stared each other down.

“Prove it.” Lucky licked his lips, lashes fluttering when he tasted Elias. “Prove I can count on you. Prove you can stay in my life for more than a fucking day.”

Elias sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and Lucky’s body clenched “That’s your ultimatum?”

“Yes.”

Elias nodded. “I have one of my own.”

Of course he did. “What?”

Elias released him and stepped back. Lucky dropped his hands, wiping his damp palms on his jeans. “Get rid of Chad, we both know he’s just a place holder for who you really want.” He walked out as Lucky gazed after him.

So he was stalling. Sue him.

Lucky didn’t know what to do. Elias wanted something from him that Lucky was no longer sure he could give. Trust. Nothing Elias gave him inspired trust or confidence. Nothing. His touch and kisses—hell, his eyes—inspired other, more heated things. But that wasn’t allowed to count, not when he could hurt Chad.

He had no clue who Elias was. What he was about. How was he supposed to trust a man who never stayed around long enough for Lucky to find out anything substantial about him?

Six months with Chad. Lucky cared about him, but more than that he liked Chad Jacobs. He was fun, didn’t take himself too seriously, didn’t smother Lucky. They had a good thing. Lucky went for guys who in no way reminded him of Elias. Not that anybody could, but he still steered clear of bulky men with beards and foreign accents. There was a surprisingly huge amount of them around.

He’d challenged Elias to prove he was serious, but truthfully, Lucky didn’t know how he could. Did he want this, though? Enough to hurt Chad?

He sat in Joe’s office two days later, staring at the walls. There was no doubt that what he felt for Elias never went away. In fact he’d be willing to bet that it blazed brighter, hotter. Fueled by his anger and fear of what Elias did to his well-organized life. But could he let himself want all the things he’d wanted back when they’d lost themselves in each other for the first time?

Lucky had wanted security with Elias. He’d wanted promises and a future. He’d stopped wanting those things when Elias crept away from his bed in the dark of night and never returned. He’d stopped dreaming of a life with Elias and instead went on a rampage, fucking as many men as he could, certain those dreams would never be realized. Now Elias was back, and what was he offering? A longer stay before he disappeared again? Lucky didn’t know and he needed to find out.

He got to his feet and grabbed his keys and wallet before striding out into the main area of the shop. Pia stood at the reception area, mouth agape as he sped past.

“Lucky, you okay?”

Lucky nodded. “I’m going out for a bit. Lock up, please?”

Her gaze was curious, but she just said, “Yeah. Sure.”

He got in his car and drove off. At first he wasn’t even sure where he was headed. He didn’t know where Elias would be, but he found himself taking the familiar path to the house where it all began. Things were always so simple, easy to navigate whenever Elias wasn’t around, but those were the times Lucky was loneliest, when he was his most destructive. Elias’s presence brought confusion and uncorked feelings Lucky didn’t know how to deal with. But even with that confusion he was more settled, he felt like himself.

What did that mean?

He drove up the paved driveway to the house and came to a stop. He didn’t move immediately, choosing to stay there and stare at the old house after turning off the engine. There weren’t any vehicles in the driveway, nothing to indicate Elias was even there, but Lucky felt him. He couldn’t sit and stare all day, not if he wanted answers.

He walked up to the front door but didn’t knock. He had the key. It was his house, after all, but he didn’t use it. He turned the doorknob and found it unlocked. Lucky took a deep breath then let it out slowly as he walked into the dark house and closed the door. With all the shades drawn, the place looked as if it was midnight and not just after four in the evening.

Back to the door he stood there, trying to catch his breath. Three years. For some reason stepping into the house had echoes of their lovemaking ringing in his ears. His breathy voice begging and Elias’s husky tone soothing, grunting, fingers tight as he fucked Lucky. Gave him what he’d wanted.

That night had been… bliss. Fucking bliss, everything about it, until he woke to find himself alone. He’d expected it, but at the same time, Elias’s departure made him feel as if he hadn’t been important, as if what they shared wasn’t important enough to warrant a goodbye.

How was he supposed to get over that feeling?

“Lucky.”

Elias’s voice startled Lucky and he jumped, head jerking up. Elias stood at the bottom of the stairs in a dark blue t-shirt and worn jeans, bare feet on the wood floors. His hair was unbraided and hung past his shoulder in orange-red curls interspersed with flecks of gray. The full beard made him look more like a lumberjack than anything else. Built like he was, wide and hard, he fit the bill. Made Lucky’s body react and his saliva dry up.

Always had.

Lucky looked away from Elias’s blue eyes, glancing over to where the air mattress had been the night Elias had held him until he fell asleep. He’d snuck away then, too.

“Lucky.” Elias said his name again as he approached Lucky slowly, probably trying not to spook him.

“I’m your whore.” He dropped those words when Elias stood near enough to hear him.

“What?” Confusion then fury darkened Elias’s face and he grabbed Lucky’s arm. “Don’t call yourself that again.”

“It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Lucky jerked away from him. The anger kept building and building until he shook under the force of it. “What do you call it? You do all this, why? Because you care? You stop in once every few years and when you do it’s to fuck me then disappear into the night. I’m on call for you. I’m at your mercy.” He shook his head with a harsh laugh. “You’ve got me hidden away like your dirty little secret.” He cupped Elias’s jaw, the full beard pricking his palm. “Am I? Am I your dirty little secret?”

“Lucky.” Despair washed over Elias’s face. He closed his eyes then reopened them. His eyes were brilliantly blue and filled with regret “You’re the most important thing in my life. The most important 
person
 in my life.”

“Then why did you make me feel so used and discarded?” Lucky asked evenly. “Why did I feel as if I’d be performing at your command? Why did I feel so empty when you left? The only thing missing was the money on the nightstand, and it felt as if I didn’t even warrant that much effort.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” Elias yanked him into his arms, held him tight, one large hand cupping Lucky’s nape. He shook in that embrace, eyes shut as he tried to fight that feeling that wouldn’t go away.

“I gave you everything that night,” he murmured into Elias’s shoulder. “Everything. And in turn you gave me three years of silence and loneliness.”

“That’s not what I wanted.” Elias’s words were harsh in Lucky’s ear. “I left without waking you because I couldn’t look into your eyes and still do what I had to do.” He leaned back and tilted Lucky’s head until their gazes met. “I needed to leave and if I looked at you, I wouldn’t have been able to. So yes.” He nodded. “I took the coward’s way out. I waited for you to fall asleep. But Lucky—” his fingers tightened on Lucky’s skin—“That remains the hardest thing I’ve ever done, walking away when all I wanted was to undress and climb back under those covers with you. To slip and slide right back inside your body and claim you again, mark you as mine again. Because you were then and you are now, mine.”

Lucky pulled away from him and stumbled back, shaking his head. “I’m not yours. I’ve never been yours. I’ve only ever been that kid pining away for someone I can’t ever touch.” He fisted a hand. “I can’t ever touch you.” And he didn’t mean physically. “Mentally, emotionally. You’re a fucking apparition, showing up to spook me when I least expect it. I wish you’d stop.”

“I’m not going to stop.” Elias smiled at him, infinitely sad. “I have wanted you way before it was legal for you to drink, Lucky Mousasi. I have loved you for that long. I’m not going to stop.” His eyes flashed as he grasped Lucky’s chin. “I’m never going to stop wanting you, coming back to you, loving you.”

Lucky lost his ability to speak for a while and he just stared at Elias, letting his words sink in, trying to process. “Wha—” Elias loved him? Tremors worked their way through Lucky, making his body seize. “You love me?”

“I love you.”

Lucky lunged at him and Elias stumbled back as they kissed. Wet and violent and uncoordinated, fumbling, moaning, needing. Lucky took charge, feeding Elias his tongue, letting him suck him down. Like that, just like that. Their bodies crashed together, rubbing, arching, heavy pants breaking the stillness, punctuating the air, giving voice to their pleasure.

Elias loved him. Loved him.

Lucky clung to him, fisting Elias’s t-shirt, hips hitching, canting forward so he could grind against Elias’s erection, so their cocks could brush.

Delicious.

Lucky shivered with it, sick with it, the fever heating him up, burning up his brain as quickly as a gasoline fire. Terrifying, but beautiful in its destruction. He drank Elias’s grunt, pulling him even closer. Their chests were mashed together, crotches slamming against each other as they fought for dominance and release. But that couldn’t happen yet.

Lucky tore his mouth away, panting heavily. “I’m not free.” Elias frowned, and Lucky held up a hand. “Do you think I’m going to hurt Chad because of a few kisses?”

Elias’s face darkened at the mention of Chad. “What?”

Lucky bit his bottom lip as he tried to organize his thoughts. “When you fucked me then left, I’d dream about what I’d do if you came back. What I’d say. Usually it’d be all about me begging you to never leave me, to stay with me.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “To love me, or to take me with you wherever you were going next. But I’m no longer that kid, Elias. I’m through begging.”

Elias blinked. “Huh?”

Lucky grinned at the other man’s flustered expression. “I’ve always known what I wanted.” He had since the night they met. “I know where I want to be in ten years. So I’m telling you—” he got in Elias’s space again, their chests pressed together, his lips at Elias’s cheek as he whispered, “In ten years I’m gonna want a family. I’m gonna want nothing less than my ring on your finger. It’s all or nothing, and I’m telling you that I will walk away and never look back if you can’t or won’t give me the promise of those things.” Emotion colored his words right then and he got raspier. “All the shit you’ve put me through, I’m telling you I fucking deserve that and more, and you’re going to give it to me.”

He stepped back, watched Elias swallow and open and close his mouth. “Not now.” Lucky shook his head. “You know where I stand. I gotta go handle my business.” Namely Chad. He walked away without looking back. “You know where to find me.”