Rumor Has It (Limelight) (34 page)

I couldn’t form any words around the painful lump that had formed in my throat. I shook my head back and forth as my only form of denial.

“I don’t wanna have to look at you ever again.” His voice was devoid of emotion now and somehow that was worse than his anger. “Get your shit from the hotel and get out of my life, Ellie.”

I couldn’t believe that this man who’d been so understanding couldn’t find it in himself to consider that I was telling the truth. Not only was I dealing with what felt like a betrayal from him, but I’d been violated. In what way I didn’t know yet, but that didn’t matter. Instead of supporting me and offering me comfort he was cutting me down.

“Screw you, Mason! You don’t want to believe me? Fine. I’m gone!” In a daze of heartbreak and fury, that’s exactly what I did.

Skye and Katie were waiting on my front porch when I arrived home from the airport. I’d texted them on my way to the airport and given them the rundown of what had happened—at least what I could remember of it. Thankfully my mom and Ralph were out so I’d be able to put off dealing with them until later.

The skin underneath my eyes was puffy and raw. I’d cried the entire plane ride home, trying my best to do it quietly so other passengers wouldn’t notice. The flight attendant probably thought I was an emotionally unstable woman—which might not have been too far from the truth.

“You look like hell,” Katie said as I made my way up the walkway.

“Gee, thanks. Kick a girl when she’s down why don’t you.”

“Come on. Let’s go in and pour you a nice stiff drink and you can tell us all about it,” Skye said.

I burst out crying again. Alcohol was what had gotten me into trouble in the first place. I didn’t want to see, smell, think, or hear about it. Skye and Katie took my keys, opened the door, and got my bags inside. They led me to the couch and let me cry for ten minutes without complaint, sitting on either side of me rubbing my back. I had great friends, which somehow made me cry harder.

“I don’t know what happened. One second I’m sitting beside this guy and we’re talking and the next I’m half-naked in bed with him and Mason is yelling. Someone must have put something in my drink. That’s the only explanation.”

“Do you think you guys…you know?” Skye asked.

“No! I can tell we didn’t have sex but I must have been half-naked for a reason.”

“And Mason wouldn’t let you get an explanation out?” Katie asked.

“That’s the worst part. He didn’t believe me. Didn’t even try to hear me out.”

“Maybe once he cools off he’ll listen,” Skye suggested.

I shook my head. “You guys didn’t see him. He wasn’t even that angry when his mom was arrested. After all the horrible things he said to me I don’t even want him to try.”

“Well, screw him then,” Katie said emphatically.

I burst into tears. Skye went to the bathroom to grab me some tissue. I blew my nose and wiped under my eyes.

“It’ll be okay, Ellie. You’ll be okay,” Katie said with confidence in her voice.

“I loved him!” I blurted out without thinking. “How is it going to be okay when I loved him and now I have to be without him? How could he think any of those things about me?”

It was the truth. I was in love with him. I’d been so busy fighting my feelings and trying
not
to need him that I’d been blind to what was right in front of me the whole time.

“We know you’re not like that sweetie. It’s his loss.”

Fresh tears escaped my eyes when I thought I’d had none left. There wasn’t anything left to say. Mason was just another in a long line of men who’d let me down. It had started with my dad, continued with my stepdads, and now the only man I’d ever loved.

I laid myself down on the couch surrounded by what was left of my support system until I drifted into a fitful sleep out of pure physical and mental exhaustion.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

My head felt like it’d been split open with an axe when I woke. Not sure if it had more to do with the bottle of Jack I’d polished off last night or the image in my head of Ellie lying in bed with that douche bag. I’d gone and gotten as shit-faced as possible after she’d left, not wanting to deal with crushing weight of betrayal bearing down on me. I think I remembered Troy and Jas stumbling upon me at some point, trying to get me to go easy. Obviously they’d failed.

I hated myself for turning to the bottle to deal, but I hadn’t seen any other way to turn off the images of Ellie and Mac scorched in my brain. That was the problem with the bottle that my mom had never figured out; the relief it provided only lasted as long as you had your lips fused to it. The emotions you were avoiding always came roaring back to life the next day.

I didn’t understand how I could’ve been so wrong about Ellie. Was I a complete moron? Had there ever really been feelings on her part or was it all some kind of game to her? I had so many questions scrambling my mind I couldn’t think straight. The pain and desolation was unlike any I’d experienced before. Why with him? Why with the one person most guaranteed to ensure that I could never forgive her, regardless of how much I cared for her.

There was a knock at the hotel room door loud enough to wake the people next door. It sent the jackhammer working in my head into overtime.

I peeled my body up off the bed as fast as was possible, which wasn’t fast at all, and shuffled to the door. I didn’t give a flying fuck who it was I just wanted the banging to stop. For the love of God make it stop!

I unlocked the dead bolt and swung the door open to find Troy standing there freshly showered, looking like he’d gotten his full eight hours in.

“You look like shit,” he said. I didn’t bother responding. I turned to shuffle my way slowly back to the bed to lay down. “I came to make sure you were still alive.”

“You can see I am. You can go now.”

“I can see you’re technically alive although you might want to consider a shower before we head to the airport.”

“Whatever, man. I don’t care what I look like right now.”

“Right, well, we still have business to discuss even if you’re nursing the mother of all hangovers. She’s not worth it, Mason. Look what she did to you.”

If shouting at Troy wouldn’t have split my skull in two I would have let fly, but I’d be the only one in pain for it. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Well, we have to talk about the offer for the reality show. Have you given it any more thought?”

“Yeah, Troy. I think I thought about it between shot number twenty last night and puking my fucking guts out. Oh, wait. No, I didn’t.”

“No need to bite my damn head off. I’m the one trying to keep your career on track—not throw you under the bus.”

He was right. He’d done nothing but help my career from day one. Turns out he’d been smart to be looking out for me where Ellie was concerned. He’d seen something that I’d been too blind to. “Sorry, man. Just a lot running through my head right now.”

“So…should I call the producers and tell them you’re in?”

“No. You can tell them I’m not interested in doing the show anymore. Make my apologies. Mac can have the damn show if he wants it.”

I was lying on the bed with my eyes closed so I couldn’t see him but I heard him stomp closer to the bed. “What do you mean you don’t want the show? I figured with Ellie out of the picture for good you’d have come to your senses.”

“It has nothing to do with Ellie. I don’t want to do the show. I’m not interested in showing the world a fake version of Mason Nash. Some version production has decided the world wants to see. I’ve had enough of people misrepresenting themselves and I want no part in doing it myself.”

“Mason, you’d be a fool to throw this opportunity away. This could open up a lot more doors for you.”

“Then I’m a fool. Ellie taught me there’s more to life than just work and becoming bigger, better, and richer.”

“Why don’t I see if I can put them off for a day? You’ve had a lot to deal with. You should think about it with a clear head.”

“I don’t know what you’re not getting here—I’m not doing the show. Not now, not next week, not next month. It doesn’t matter. I want no part of it.”

Troy was silent for a minute so I reluctantly opened my eyes to be sure he was still there. He was standing at the end of the bed, his face flushed in anger.

“Don’t do this, Mason. Don’t throw this away because you got addicted to some pussy and now you’re thinking no pussy is ever gonna feel as good. Believe me—they all feel good. After a while you’ll forget all about her.”

He didn’t have the first clue what it felt like to be with someone who was like the other half of you. The missing puzzle piece. What was I saying? It was none of that…that was only what I imagined it to be.

I didn’t have the energy or desire to argue with him about it. “Just go, Troy. I don’t want any company right now.”

“You’re making a mistake. A year from now when Little Mac is at the top of the charts and everyone is buying his clothes and cologne in all the department stores you’ll wish you’d listened to me.”

“Maybe, but I’m okay with that.”

CHAPTER FORTY

Life without Ellie was difficult and dragged on. My feelings for her vacillated between missing her something fierce and loathing her for her betrayal. Either way I was constantly trying to push her from my mind completely.

It was a couple of months later and the morning of the music awards. I still hadn’t figured out why she’d done it. I’d racked my brain trying to figure out what her motivation could’ve possibly been and I’d come up empty every time. It wasn’t for money, it wasn’t for fame, and it wasn’t to get a job. If it had been she would’ve jumped all over the job at
Session Magazine
. It shouldn’t have mattered to me that I couldn’t figure it out, but for some reason I couldn’t let it go.

A knock sounded at the door to the suite. I was staying in at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood again trying not to remember what I’d been doing and who I’d been doing it with the last time I was here.

I’d had no interest in dating since Ellie and I had broken up so Troy was coming with me to the awards. That must’ve been him at the door. I’m not sure bringing him was gonna be any more tolerable than a date would have been. The fact that I’d been in a funk since ending things with Ellie was starting to wear on him. At first he’d tried to push other women on me, but I made it clear he needed to stop. As much as I despised it, my heart was still with that damn woman.

I opened the door and to my surprise it was Jasmine. “Hey, Jas. What are you doing here?” She was wringing her hands in front of her and glancing down the hall nervously. “Everything okay?”

“Sorry to show up unannounced,” she said.

“It’s not a problem but I don’t think I’ll be needing any powder on my abs for the awards tonight.” I’d tried to lighten the mood but she wasn’t biting. She looked unsettled.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Come in.” I motioned for her to take a seat. I sat in the chair on the other side of the coffee table. “So, what’s going on?”

“First you have to swear that no matter what you’ll never tell anyone I told you this. Promise?”

“Promise, sure. What’s this about?” I was on edge now. The tone of her voice was serious.

“I mean it, Mason. No one can ever know I told you. If anyone ever confronts you and says it was me you have to deny it.”

“Jas, you’re starting to freak me out.”

“You have to understand what it’s like to be a makeup artist. We hear all kinds of stuff we’re not supposed to. Half my clients act like I’m deaf and stupid and spill their guts to their friends or managers, and the other half treat me like I’m their psychotherapist. It’s an unspoken rule that anything a makeup artist hears doesn’t leave the room. If anyone found out I was blabbing I’d never get another job. Never piss off your makeup artist—I can guarantee they’ve got dirt on you.”

“All right, thanks for the warning. What do you have to tell me that has you so jumpy?”

She took in a deep breath. “Last week when your tour had a break for a few days I flew to California to do some work for Little Mac.”

I stood up at the mention of his name. “I’m not interested in discussing anything that has to do with that piece of shit.”

“Believe me, I feel the same way. I have no love for that guy either but he helps pay the bills and his name looks good on my roster. You’ll want to hear this though, trust me.”

I sat back down reluctantly in my seat. “You’ve got my attention.”

“I overheard some things I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Such as?”

“He was bragging to his buddy about how he stuck it to you making you think that he’d had his way with Ellie. He was going on and on about how pissed you were over the whole thing. He said it was even better than when you caught Becca with him.”

“Is there a point to this?” I asked between gritted teeth.

“I’m getting to it. When his friend asked how he was able to get Ellie to go along with it he said he put something in her drink.”

“Are you saying he drugged her?” She nodded. Fury swept through me fast and marrow deep. “Son of a bitch. I’ll fucking kill him. Did he touch her while she was out of it?”