Roll Me Away: A Smokey's Roadhouse Novel (15 page)

I
’d never been more
scared in my life. Even in the past few days, when I thought I might have lost the use of at least my legs, I never dreamed I’d also face losing Cricket before we even got our relationship sorted out.

I couldn’t blame her, though. She didn’t sign up for caring for a cripple or someone with a ‘physical challenge’, as she’d corrected me. I had to call it like I saw it, though.

She hadn’t signed up for anything, really. If I’d had full use of my arms, I’d have punched something after she left.

Fortunately, Dr. Wang came in and distracted me with more good news. They were going to discharge me as soon as Mom and Carl could get some arrangements in place. After that, the medical people would start testing the limits of my movements, and design a physical therapy program. As we talked, I realized some unpleasant truths about what my caregivers would have to put up with.

“Doc, what about someone to help me at home? Any chance of that? I mean, I’m not anxious for my mom to have to start changing my diapers again.”

“I understand your concern, Mr. Hayes. I will send a hospital employee who is familiar with such programs to counsel you.”

After being fed my dinner, I worked on moving my arms. I hadn’t told anyone, but I’d been doing that ever since Dr. Wang said my spine injury was stable. I could almost conceive of a life without the use of my legs, fucked as that would be.

Without my arms, though, what could I do? I wasn’t a brain, like that guy I’d seen on TV, all crumpled up in his wheelchair and talking with a mechanical voice. I couldn’t write a book, or paint with a brush held in my mouth, or anything else I could think of hearing about other quadriplegics doing.

At least if I had the full use of my arms, I’d be able to do mechanic work of some kind. The dream of being part of the MC was gone now. Even if I recovered fully, I’d burned my bridges with the club by having the police brought in.

And there was still the question of charges related to whatever had been found in the saddlebags. What was I going to do about that? Carl was right – the cops were never going to believe a lame ‘it wasn’t mine’ story. And even if they did, I half believed Jake would carry through on his threats.

Smokey, Rooster, Sarge – they were a different story. They chose to live out of sight and pursue interests that could make enough money to live on without too much interference. They never intended the club to get into criminal pursuits. That was the younger generation’s doing. And even though the Originals were still in charge of the club, it had become clear already they weren’t able to prevent everything. So I couldn’t count on them to protect me.

Worrying about what I’d do when push came to shove kept me awake most of the night, and then breakfast came just when I’d finally gotten to sleep. It was barely eight a.m. when a counselor came in and talked about registering for medical assistance, since I was unemployed and uninsured. She barely concealed her contempt, but she did help me get the paperwork done. I figured I was going to get a lot of practice ignoring that kind of shit until I was back on my feet, figuratively if not literally.

After that, my room turned into Grand Central Station. My next visitors were the detectives who’d questioned Cricket the day before. They confirmed that there’d been cocaine in the saddlebags. Any amount of that shit would get me in trouble, but apparently there was enough to get me in serious trouble. Of course I told them it wasn’t mine, but I knew better than to answer any more questions. I did the same thing Cricket had.

“I’d like a lawyer, please. And what about my Miranda rights?”

“We’ll get to that when we arrest you. The investigation isn’t complete, but the doc says you aren’t going anywhere, so we’ll get it done right first.”

Maybe I was paranoid, but the guy had dirty cop written all over him. I wasn’t sure about the woman. Cricket had said she was helpful. I didn’t see it, but I’d never been able to read women, cop or no.

I repeated my request for a lawyer. With my medical assistance paperwork fresh in my mind, I knew I could get a public defender. Maybe Carl would spring for a better lawyer, especially with what he had to lose, but for now I needed someone to tell the cops to back off and do whatever he could to make sure I stayed out of jail until I got the therapy I needed. Dr. Wang had assured me that the quicker I could work on my recovery the better chance I’d have of getting to the best I could be.

Speaking of therapy, right after lunch, I had another couple of visitors in the form of the two therapists, occupational and physical. After a brief wrangle about who talked to me first, the physical therapist agreed to come back in an hour.

During that hour, the occupational guy talked about the accommodations I’d need at home, including a trapeze for helping me sit up once my arms were strong enough to pull me up. By then, I needed some comic relief, so I asked him if the support for it would also be strong enough to hang my girl in a harness for some kinky fun. When the physical girl came in as arranged, my new buddy the occupational guy and I burst into laughter.

I wasn’t laughing after a grueling hour of the girl moving my arms in ways they didn’t want to go. She didn’t work with my legs in that session, but warned it was coming and it wouldn’t be fun. I started scheming how to lighten her up so I could tolerate what I was going to have to go through. I’ve heard laughter is the best medicine all my life. That was the day I understood why.

I’d been wondering why Mom and Cricket hadn’t been around all day, but I found out when they finally came in together that they’d been waiting for a while for my therapy to be done. I asked them if it was because they didn’t want to hear me screaming, and Mom took on a horrified look, while Cricket tilted her head and waited for the explanation.

“Did they hurt you, son?” Mom said, all sympathy.

I barely kept a straight face as I answered her, “I thought they were going to break something off, Mom. Make them stop!”

Her mouth dropped open, and she turned, I assume to go give someone a piece of her mind, just as Cricket said, “He’s full of shit, Rose. He’s pulling your leg.”

Mom turned back to look at me. “No! Honest. They were pulling
my
leg! Hurt like a sonofabitch.” But the idea that my mom was going to go keep those meanies from hurting her baby cracked me up. Cricket grinned as Mom came over and lightly slapped my face.

“Just wait until I get you home,” Mom said, a smile beginning to play on her lips. “I’ll have you just where I’ve wanted you ever since you turned eighteen. Under my thumb.”

This was better. No more gloom and doom. I did have a rough road ahead, but with Mom’s and Cricket’s support, I’d get through it somehow. I winked at Cricket, and she winked back. I hoped it was a promise to stay.

I
’d had
a long talk with Rose. I told her that while I loved her son, we’d never slept together. It was a lot more than I would have said, if I hadn’t wanted to make it crystal clear why I was so on the fence. I wasn’t proud of it, and I said so.

She said she understood. There was only a remote possibility he would be impaired in the sex department, and I was a young woman. If Zach and I had been married, or even engaged, before all this, she’d have expected me to live up to the ‘for better, for worse’ part of that commitment. If being involved with him hadn’t caused the loss of my job, she might have even asked me to make a clean break.

As it was, neither of us knew how to meet our moral obligations to each other without me remaining here to help with Zach’s recovery in any way I could. Neither of us was entirely happy with the state of affairs, but we were determined to make things work, at least for the time being, for Zach’s sake. We got busy turning a room on the first floor of her house that had been used for a den into a bedroom for Zach.

Contractors would make the structural modifications it needed, but the two of us first had to empty the room of books, knickknacks, TV and electronics equipment, and furniture. Working side-by-side, we developed an even deeper rapport. Whether Zach and I could see our way through to a permanent relationship or not, I believed I’d always be friends with this woman.

Eventually, she told me a bit about Zach’s father, and what Zach had done to protect her when he was only fifteen. It fit with what I knew of him as well as what he’d told me himself. Back in Sturgis, I’d known he wanted me. But he was a gentleman. Not perfect – there’d been one incident when he’d showed me his desire in a way I could have considered threatening. But he was in control of himself, and he’d always protected me. Maybe he wouldn’t ever be able to physically protect anyone again. I still considered him my hero. Rose’s story made me understand that part of him in a way I never had before.

“What’s the deal between him and Carl?” I asked.

“Carl loves me, and he knows Zach is part of me,” she answered. “Zach was old enough to understand completely what was going on when Carl and I became intimate. No eighteen-year-old boy wants some man taking advantage of his mother. It took some time before he accepted it.”

“But he has accepted it? He’s okay with Carl now?”

“It’s still not what I’d want for them. Zach said some things that Carl considered disrespectful, and Carl is a proud man. But they got past it. Carl gave Zach a job, and they’ve enjoyed a truce, at least, since then. Secretly, Carl is proud of Zach. He thinks he helped Zach grow up, and in some ways he did. A boy needs a strong father figure. Zach didn’t have that until Carl came into our lives. Even though he resented Carl at first, I think he grudgingly accepts that.”

“Carl isn’t going to mind the financial burden Zach may become?”

“I don’t think he will become that, dear, and you mustn’t either. We have to keep our thoughts positive. But no, as far as I can tell, Carl is very upset that the introduction he made resulted in this terrible injury. He feels guilty, and I know that he’ll take care of Zach as much as he needs to, even if it’s for that reason instead of out of love.”

Her voice had turned a little wistful. I had information she didn’t, and she sensed something more stirring between Zach and Carl than met the eye. I only hoped that somehow, some way, the drug charges would be resolved without Rose ever learning about them. She was too sweet, too naive, to handle it. Her son, her husband, even her house guest – me – were in a conspiracy to see that she was protected from the knowledge.

What that meant was I needed to speak with Carl alone. I hadn’t had a chance to tell him about the interrogation I’d been through. For that matter, I hadn’t said anything about the intimidation the MC had tried. Zach said Carl wasn’t a member of the club, so I knew he had no leverage with them.

Nevertheless, the two of us needed to do something to get those drug charges laid at the feet of the right person. Zach had said Carl would never go against the club because of his business with them. I needed to use what leverage
I
could to make him understand where his rightful loyalties lay.

I
t had taken more
than a week, but finally all was in readiness for Zach to come home. I don’t know who was more excited, Zach, his mom, or me. In the days between getting the news that he could be discharged as soon as we had a place for him and getting the room ready, I visited daily with Dr. Wang’s assistance.

Each day, Zach and I shared more of our fears and our hopes. Maybe what did it was the conversations that some couples never face and we had to because of his injury. Maybe it was because both of us felt we owed the other something, and that made for more honest communications.

Whatever did it, that week brought us closer to what I thought of as true love and commitment than I could have believed possible. It helped when he told me how he’d shocked the occupational therapist with his idea for something to help with our sex life. Because he told me in no uncertain terms we’d have one. In fact, he expected to start that particular project as soon as he got home.

All of us were terribly disappointed then, when the state got involved with dictating his care, and his caseworker insisted he spend some time in a rehab facility first. To our disappointment, Dr. Wang sided with them. It seemed Zach’s progress in the hospital hadn’t been what Dr. W hoped, and he thought a more intensive program would be of benefit.

“How long?” I asked.

“At least three months, with the possibility of three more,” Dr. W. said.

When he left, I went to Zach, and for the first time since he’d been there, crawled up onto his bed to snuggle against him. “That’s too long,” I said.

“Cricket, please. Don’t say things like that. I can’t lose you now.”

“Who said anything about losing me? Help me figure out how to lock or barricade the door. As soon as we don’t have that damn machine telling them every time you get upset or excited, I’m going to rock your world.”

We both started laughing when the machine went off a few seconds later. I scrambled off the bed just before the nurse came running in. Turning my back so she couldn’t see my face, I tried hard not to giggle as Zach told her he had no idea why his heart had started racing. After she reset the machine and walked out, closing the door behind her, Zach told me she’d looked suspiciously from him to me.

“She’s onto us, baby,” he said, rolling his eyes.

After that, I had no control over the giggles that overtook me. “In that case, she won’t be surprised when the damn thing goes off again.” I regained my position on the bed and kissed him, slowly and thoroughly. Somehow he maintained his heart rate just below the level that would set off the alarm. I got confirmation then and there that, as he put it, his dick still worked, even though we didn’t dare test the limits.

While Zach settled in at the rehab facility, I found a chance to talk to Carl alone one evening when I urged Rose to go and see Zach without me for some mother/son time.

“Carl, I’d like to talk with you, if I may,” I said, as soon as Rose left the house.

“I figured you had something up your sleeve. So, get it off your chest, whatever it is.”

“I know more about the Dust Devils and your business than you may be aware of,” I began. “And I know about the crack in the saddlebags.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not threatening you. I want to know if you have any influence with them. Zach can’t go to prison in his condition.”

“Yeah, that would suck,” he answered.

“It would more than suck. You know it better than I do, I suspect. Carl, Zach needs us to help him. I’ll do whatever I need to do, if you’ll help me get those charges dropped, or laid at Jake’s door. Zach really had no idea that shit was on the bike, and I think you know that. So why did you carry the message that he had to take the rap, and why did you tell him it was meth?”

“Not sure if it’s any of your business, sister. But what do you think I can do?”

“For starters, tell me how you got involved with them?”

He stared at me for a long while, and I thought the conversation would be over before it even started. There was also a possibility he’d kick me out. After all, he’d paid for the house, even though it was in Rose’s name and I was her guest. When I began to lose hope that he’d help me, his shoulders slumped, and he finally answered.

“I’m probably going to regret this. How did you find out about any of it?”

“The police interrogated me. I still don’t know why they let me go after I asked for a lawyer. Zach told me the rest. I promise, Carl, if you help me, I won’t let anything come back on you if I can help it. I just need to know what’s going on.”

“Okay, I’ll answer your questions. Jake threatened me, and I told Zach it was meth because that’s what Jake told me. I’m guessing he told me that to secure my cooperation, because he also told me if I didn’t get Zach to agree to take the rap, he’d find a way to incriminate me in the whole thing, too, as well as expose the chop shop.”

The man standing in front of me was not the man Rose worshiped. That guy didn’t exist, but I had no desire to be the one to bring down the illusion. I clenched my back teeth, preventing myself from telling this coward what I thought of him. Instead, once I had control of myself, I fed him the line of bullshit I thought would get him on board with my plan.

“I get it, Carl. I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this. What can we do?”

“I can reach out to Sarge. He’s the one I give the cut to, once I sell the bikes they bring in. Jake was too young to handle money on his own when he thought up this scheme.”

“You mean Jake is behind the chop shop? You didn’t have that going before they came to you?”

“Hell, no. The first time, I had no idea it wasn’t one of their own. One of the others paid for the modifications and rode it out of there. It wasn’t until they started bringing in too many that I figured it out. After that, I figured I might as well make a profit that made my risks worth taking. Told them I’d sell the bikes, split the take with them. I got more of the money that way.”

“I see.”

“It was a surprise to Sarge, too. That kid, Jake, has been a thorn in the side of the club since he was thirteen years old. And I don’t think he’s ever grown up.”

“Why don’t they kick him out?”

“His old man’s one of the Originals. They put up with him for Rooster’s sake. Once his old man kicks, he’d better hope he has control of the club, because otherwise the other Originals are likely to take him out.”

“So, you can’t be involved in taking him down legally, I guess.”

“You guess right. I don’t want to go to prison any more than the next man does, Cricket. I never envisioned this situation, but it’s more true now than ever. I can’t go down. Rose has no other means of support, and now I need to take care of Zach, too. I’ve been worried sick about him in prison.”

“So, when you said you could reach out to Sarge, what were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t know how to think about all this.”

I could see he wasn’t going to be any help on this, but he might still be able to get some information I needed.

“Carl, something’s been bugging me since the cops picked me up. They were right there when Jake and his thugs made me think they were going to run me down in the street. I mean, they got to me while I was still standing there in shock. They must have seen what happened, but they didn’t say a word.

“Then when I told them I wanted a lawyer, they just stopped the questioning and let me go. I haven’t heard a word since then. Can you find out what’s going on with those charges? And why cops wouldn’t move to protect an innocent citizen from a vicious motorcycle gang?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking there’s a connection between the club and the cops.”

“You’re not serious.”

“You got a better explanation?”

“I’ll talk to Sarge.”