Rogue Countess (28 page)

Then she licked her lips and murmured, “Can you explain to me what is happening right now because I am quite certain I don’t understand.”

He didn't answer right away. Instead, he used his thumb beneath her chin to urge her head farther to the side, fully exposing the length of her throat. The warmth of his breath spread across her bare skin as he leaned forward slowly. The soft cool curls of his hair brushed against her cheek a moment before he pressed his lips to that sensitive spot behind her ear. Anna gasped as shocks of tingling pleasure spread from where his lips touched her skin.

“I would much rather show you,” Jude murmured against her neck in a low voice. He trailed his mouth down the side of her throat in a whisper-soft caress. When he reached the sloping curve where her neck met her shoulder, he stopped to nip at her flesh with his teeth then he softened the pain with a warm flick of his tongue.

Anna’s breath came fast and short and her legs weakened.

While Jude continued to support Anna’s head with one hand, his other hand gently kneaded her shoulder before he dragged his hand down her arm. Anna didn’t realize he had hooked the top edge of her bodice with his thumb until she felt the sudden warm brush of his breath across her nipple the instant before he covered the peak with the heat of his mouth.

Anna’s gasp of shock at the sudden rush of sensations caused by his mouth echoed through the quiet intimacy of the room. Her hands came up to grasp a hold of something to anchor her and she fisted her fingers in the folds of his coat. Her head fell back helplessly and she fought to retain her balance as a whirlwind of passion whipped around within her. And Jude continued his lustful assault upon her breast as he flicked at the hardened tip with his velvet tongue and drew her flesh deep in his mouth.

Anna’s knees started to buckle and Jude curved his arm around her waist and hauled her securely up against him. And then his mouth claimed hers.

The kiss was instantly deep and overwhelming. Jude held nothing back in the passion of his possession as his masterful lips and tongue and teeth took every drop of answering passion from Anna’s mouth. She clung to him and responded to every parry and thrust, every antagonizing nip and soul-drugging breath as the heat grew between them. She lifted her hands to his face, holding him still as she kissed him with every ounce of desire and longing and love pulsing through her. She slid her hands into his pale curls and Jude wrapped both arms around her, pulling her closer, until the evidence of his desire pressed hot and hard between them.

Heat swirled maddeningly to her sex and she ached to be closer, to have nothing between them.

She was losing any bit of resistance she may have had.

Anna pulled back from the kiss, gasping for breath. She pressed her cheek against Jude’s stubble-roughened jaw and she held him tightly to her for a few desperate seconds as she willed herself to think clearly. Difficult, when Jude’s lips nipped impatiently at her ear.

She wanted him with such an unbelievable degree of reckless need she was almost able to ignore the other part of that need, the part that terrified her and warned her to guard her heart against him.

Because he would leave her.

If she allowed him to make love to her, she wouldn’t hold back, she would give him everything, and when he left she would be empty. She would not be able to endure what would come after. She squeezed her eyes shut as she fought against the torrent of emotion.

“I can’t do this,” Anna whispered against his ear.

He stiffened instantly and his arms became like steel manacles around her body in rebellion to her unexpected refusal. He dropped his head alongside hers, almost resting his forehead on her shoulder, but still did not release her. And then a low rumbling growl vibrated in his chest.

“Dammit, Anna, why not?” he demanded under his breath. The words were raw with frustration and arousal.

“There is too much between us,” Anna murmured.

She pushed against him and his arms dropped heavily to his sides. His eyes were dark with passion as he watched her step back from him.

“The past will never go away.” Her voice was flat and carefully devoid of emotion. “It is foolish and dangerous to pretend otherwise.”

She turned away, not wanting to see his expression. On stumbling steps, she headed for the door, adjusting the bodice of her gown to cover her exposed breast. She was halfway across the room before Jude managed to catch her with a hand around her arm. She didn’t resist, fearful her fragile composure would crumble in her struggle.

He pulled her around to face him.

“What the hell are you so afraid of?” he asked more gently.

Anna blinked a few times to clear the threatening tears from her eyes. She took a long, steadying breath before she lifted her chin and looked him straight in the eye.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Jude’s expression darkened dangerously and he released his grip on her arms.

“How the hell do you know that?” he growled. “You don’t even give me a bloody chance. Go, then.” He turned his back to her then and shoved his hands through his hair. “Keep your damn secrets,” he said.

Anna walked from the room with calm dignity tightly wrapped around a heart that grew heavier with every step.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Anna tossed restlessly in her bed. She was sleepless and ashamed of herself for being such a dreadful coward. She was doing what was necessary to protect herself. So why did she feel as if she had just trampled upon her own heart? Why did she feel so damned and lost?

It had been more than an hour since she had left Jude. More than an hour since she had rejected him before he could reject her. Anna had fled like a weak little child from the man she loved because he made her feel too much.

A shaking little coward, she had escaped to her bedroom. Numb and dazed, she had dressed herself for bed, had released her elaborate coiffure and had braided her hair just as she did every night. Then she had begun to pace, back and forth across her room, too jittery and anxious to be still. And when the pacing began to annoy her, she had climbed into bed, wondering if she hadn’t just made the greatest mistake of her life.

All the while she listened for Jude. Listened for the sound of the front door slamming as he stormed from her house. She listened carefully for the sound of his footfalls ascending the stairs to his bedroom. When she finally did hear him, she held her breath.

Would he come to her and demand answers?

She wished with frozen desperation that he would. But the sound of his steps receding told her he turned directly toward his own bedroom. She released her pent-up breath on a choked sob she muffled into her pillow.

She wanted to take it all back, make it as if the entire conversation in her study had not happened. She might wake up tomorrow morning still floating in the magical afterglow of the intimate and passionate moments they had shared at the ball, when she had felt as though there may be more between them than lies and betrayal. For those few hours, it had seemed as they may have a future together.

Would he leave in the morning? Would he even wish to speak with her again or would she wake to find he had gone from her life just as devastatingly as he had all those years ago? Could she do anything to stop it?

Anna sat up in her bed.

She could not stay here, hiding in her bedroom. She needed to see him. She threw the covers from her and swung her feet to the floor. She couldn’t leave things as they were. She had to try…something.

The compulsion to see Jude came upon her with undeniable force. She didn’t wonder at the impulsive and overwhelming yearning that took over. She left her bedroom like a ghostly apparition in her white flowing nightgown. Her barefoot steps made no sound as she walked purposefully down the darkened hall to Jude’s door. There was no thought as to what she would do once she got there, no plan of what she would say. Only the inescapable demand in her heart that she go to him.

She stopped at his bedroom door and listened for a moment. As soon as she started to wonder if perhaps she should turn around and return to her room, she pushed the doubts aside and lifted her hand to turn the knob. The door opened noiselessly and Anna slipped past the threshold and into the room, pressing the door closed behind her. She stood with bated breath. Everything was in darkness, but her eyes were already accustomed to the lack of light.

She found him instantly.

He was lying on his back in the bed, the covers pulled up only to his midriff and his chest was bare. One hand was tucked up under his head and the other rested at his side. He was asleep.

Without even making the conscious decision to do so, Anna found herself crossing the room to his bedside. She had to wake him. Apologize. Beg him to understand. Ask him to stay with her.

To make love to her.

She sat on the edge of the bed and opened her mouth to speak his name, but no sound escaped. She was still afraid. Afraid this may be her last chance to confess it all. Everything she knew of those past events, everything that had ever been in her heart, all that she wished for now.

But once it was said there would be no turning back. She would be naked before him and her heart would be in his hands as it had always been. As she watched the steady rise and fall of his muscled chest, she realized she would give anything to be even a wisp of a shadow in his dreams, to know his innermost thoughts.

Warmth seeped through her body. Her eyes dropped to the expanse of his chest and she became momentarily mesmerized by the evidence of his low and even breath. He was perfectly formed with solid muscle banding his frame, though she hadn’t expected any less. She suddenly wanted to feel the steady thud of his heart beneath her palm. She leaned toward him and lifted her hand, then hesitated.

God, was she mad? Rational women did not behave in this way. They did not creep into a man’s bedchamber and pine over him like a lost and listless soul. She had been berating herself for a coward, but she suddenly had to wonder if she might not be a little bit insane as well.

She started to pull back the hand that still hovered precariously over Jude’s prone body when her retreat came to an abrupt halt. She hadn’t even seen the movement, only felt the inexorable strength of his grip as he wrapped his fingers around her slender wrist. Her eyes flew to his face and her breath caught on a sharp gasp. Her heart thudded to a stop as she met his piercing blue gaze. She expected him to shout at her, throw her from him, demand to know why she had crept silently into his bedroom.

But he didn’t speak a word, and Anna could tell nothing of his thoughts from his shielded expression. Aside from lifting his hand to manacle her wrist, he had not even shifted from his position. And he continued to stare at her as she leaned over him.

In the silent seconds that followed, a change came over him. His features softened and his eyes turned heavy and deep. Heat infused her body, sensitized her skin, sped up her heart and shortened her breath. Anna’s lips parted, then closed again helplessly. She couldn’t look away. She was trapped by his unexpected regard and the quiet look of desire glowing in his countenance.

Without a word, Jude tugged gently at her wrist. He pulled across his body so she was forced to lean closer over him. Her eyes widened and tingling sensations raced through her blood, but she didn’t resist.

He was in control now. Completely and undeniably the master of the moment.

The solid pressure of his thigh pushed against her hip. The warmth of his chest spread beneath her as her breasts pressed down against him. The pleasure of being brought into slow contact with his powerful body was torturous. And all the while he held her gaze captive with the growing intensity in his blue eyes.

When he moved his other hand from behind his head and wrapped it around the back of her neck, she released her pent-up breath on a heavy sigh. He pulled her to him. Her eyes fell closed just as he brought her lips to his.

Jude’s mouth was warm and insistent against hers. His tongue delved quickly past her lips to taste her and his teeth nipped at her lips with burgeoning passion. He wanted more. As did she. Tingling fire lit through her body and swirled in her stomach. She swallowed back a sob of emotion that threatened to escape a maelstrom of beautiful aching need twisting at her soul.

He shifted his hold on her, releasing her wrist to wrap his arm around her waist. And in one fluid motion, he drew her across his body, rolled her over onto her back and rose above her. He threw a heavy leg across her thighs, keeping her carefully in place. His shoulders effectively blocked out the rest of the world and Anna stared up at him with wide eyes as her breath passed through her lungs in raw gasps and her heart beat thunderously.

Still without uttering a word, Jude propped himself up on an elbow next to her shoulder and lifted his other hand to her face. His touch was soft and light as he swept his fingers up the curve of her jaw. His thumb followed the fine arch of her black brow and then trailed down across her cheek. His movements were unhurried and confident and his expression held no trace of judgment, no hint of anger or distrust. There was only the fierce flame of need in his eyes as he watched her face, studying her reaction.

When his thumb brushed the full curve of her lower lip, most of her thoughts flew away as delicate wings of desire fanned her rising passion. Her tongue instinctively pressed forward to taste his touch. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of her pink tongue darting against the pad of his thumb.