ROCKED BY THE WAVES (13 page)

THE GOODS’ KEEPER

Two weeks flew by. It was May and the air was chilly.

I woke up with a contraction. I knew that there was no need to be scared, because giving birth was natural. Among the Mi’kmaqs, young men had to prove they were brave enough in order to be considered adults. Women, on the other hand, had no need to prove anything, because the capability of creating a new life was more than enough.

I felt a second contraction. I began shaking and couldn’t breath,

Moon came to help me and she lit the fire. Sam helped her change my bed linen.

«Go get some towels, Rhona!», said Sam.

After a few hours, I was feeling much worse. I felt I was about to die.

«Sam, I will die. I know I will. Please, take care of the baby».

He had been sitting next to me during the whole day. He was tired and worried.

«No die. You good», said Moon.

I was not sure of that. She made me drink something, then she looked at Sam. «Help her take bath. She be faster».

Sam did as he was told. I stayed in the hot water for a long time and tried to breathe normally.

When I got back to bed, the contractions got stronger and stronger. I was in pain. I wasn’t feeling well and I could that Sam was scared. He feared that I was going to die.

«Come on, Claire! I can see his head, come on!», he said.

It was the most important moment in our lives so far.

Few minutes later, I was holding a pink and fluffy baby.

I was holding Sam’s hand. We were both tired and I could see his eyes were sleepy.

We both smiled, though. Moon left us alone.

«Moon! I love you... thank you for this», I whispered.

«Love you too. Go sleep».

We were awkward, but faithful friends. She was different from Lizzie. She didn’t talk much and she was incredibly sweet. I could trust her.

«Do you like her?», I asked Sam.

«She loves you. And that’s the only thing that matters to me».

I looked at the baby.

«Let’s give him a name!»

«A name? Well...»

«He’s ours, Sam».

«It reminds me you’ve been sleeping with... him».

I knew what he meant.

«But now», he said, «now that I’ve seen the baby’s eyes... I love him, Claire».

«One day we will have another baby. Our baby».

«He’s our baby, Claire».

He was a small and lovely baby. He yawned.

«Edward. It means the goods’ keeper. He will keep our souls safe», he said.

I liked it. It sounded like a strong man’s name. «Hello, angel. Hello, Edward».

We fell asleep. It had been an intense, tiring day. Sam caressed my back until I fell asleep, then he took Edward to his cradle and came to our bed.

I dreamt of flowers, lights and magic fantasies. There were butterflies that could fly and take people with them. They took me far away, where fairies lived. Then I found myself hugging dad.

I woke up because I could hear someone crying. It was time to feed my son. I needed to get used to that. I opened my eyes and saw Sam holding the baby.

«Let’s let mom sleep, baby», he whispered. «She needs to rest».

I smiled at them

«Oh, you’re awake... I’m so sorry. I tried to rock him...»

I laughed. «He needs to be breastfed».

Sam looked at me. I took the baby and started feeding him. Sam was ravished. Our blond angel.

We put Edward back into the cradle. Sam sang to him in Gaelic and he felt asleep.

«You look so tired... but... where’s everyone? It’s so silent», I said.

He sat and held my hand, kissing it.

«Moon left. She needed to take care of something, but she told me what we will need to do. I asked Rhona to leave us alone for a couple of days. I want us to be together for a while».

He caressed me.

«You’re beautiful and I love you».

I took his hand and put it on my breast.

«Claire...»

I took his other hand.

«Claire... let me just hug you».

«Don’t you want to make love to me?»

He caressed my skin.

«I do... But you need to rest».

I caressed his chest, then my hand caressed something else... I was determined not to give up.

«Please, Claire».

But he started kissing me passionately. We hugged for long and kissed. We were happy. We didn’t make love, though. We were taken back to reality by Edward screaming.

We laughed.

«He needs to eat every four hours», Sam said.

«How do you know that?»

We both laughed.

«Eddy is hungry, come on!»

It was then that we heard – and smelt – something.

«Did he...?»

«He just did».

We were unable to stop laughing.

«We’ll get used to that, I believe».

I look him in the eyes.

Edward ate and fell asleep.

«Let’s take a bath and eat something».

Sam looked at my body.

«I like the first one».

«So, will you take a bath with me? I’d like it, if you did. I could use someone that rubbed my back».

We went to the bathroom and cuddled.

We were thoughtless and happy. We were learning how it was like, being parents. We liked watching Eddy as he moved. He was great fun. He grew fast, he always seemed to be different from the previous day.

Rhona came to visit us with the ladies.

«Oh, dear! How sweet he is!», said Muireall McFadden.

«He’s fluffy!», said Logan McNutt.

«Most charming baby in the world!»

Sam held him. Eddy was sleeping peacefully.

«He’ll need to be breastfed».

I held the baby and noticed how Sam seemed to be in pain. He needed Eddy to be in his arms.

We put him to sleep.

«Greatest thing in the world, right? Having a baby», said Peigi Murphy.

I shook my head and drunk my special tea. It was supposed to help me have more milk. I noticed Peigi was not really quite in her senses.

«Peigi, are you okay?»

«Sure. It’s just that... I don’t like it, when the kids grow up».

«I know... guess I’ll experience that, sooner or later».

She took a deep breath.

«Peigi, are you sure you’re okay?»

«It’s... Keir, you know. I think he is in love. He doesn’t eat much and  he spends many hours outdoors. He’s nervous and... I can’t seem to be able to talk to him. He had even spent few nights somewhere».

She was clearly worried.

«How old is he?»

She looked at me and started crying.

«Seventeen».

«That’s normal, Peigi. He’s growing up. Everyone has to experience love and how it can be... painful, I believe».

«Have you ever suffered from love?»

«I have. And it happens everyday, more than once. I look at Sam and my heart stops».

We both laughed.

«I think he suffers too, then».

I was worried. Was Keir in love... with me? I knew it would be awfully painful to him, if it were so.

Three days later, Moon was back. She was with a young dark-haired man. He was wearing colorful clothes and Moon looked different.

«Siwkewi, that’s my husband, Kjiku».

I hugged her. Sam looked at the man.

«When did this happen? You never said anything to me!»

«You worried for baby. I wait».

I hugged her again.

«You got married!»

«After you gave birth».

«Please, come live here! We’ve got everything you may need... there’s room for everyone!»

«We live next to river. Can we?»

When they left, I looked at Sam.

«I shouldn’t have asked them to stay. I should have talked to you about that before asking them...»

He stopped me. «I like the way you are. You are passionate and loving. You’re kind, brave... and you’re a great mother. So I had already planned on asking Moon to come live here».

I smiled at him.

I fed Eddy and we laughed for a while.

Sam had fallen for the baby. I was happy about that, because I had feared he would look like Alexander.

Few days later, Sam told me he needed to check on the estate, to see if everything was fine. He was the Laird, after all, and needed to be responsible.

He gave me the baby and I hugged him. He was asleep.

«Are you sure you don’t mind it, if I leave you for a while?»

«I’ll go see Moon».

«Can you do that? Are you feeling fine? Do you want Rhona to come with you?»

He was worried.

«It’s just around the corner, Sam. We’ll be at her place. I’ll rest, I promise».

«Ok, but I’ll come look for you in two hours».

I walked to Moon’s house. Sam looked at me from the window. I had to cross a small forest to get to Moon’s and I felt peaceful and relaxed. Spring was lovely, in Nova Scotia. The birds, the flowers, the smells: it all seemed so pure. The river was the only company I had.

I suddenly heard a footstep, or so it seemed to me. I turned backwards, but didn’t see anyone. I might have imagined that, I thought. But then I heard a second one. I turned once again and Keir was standing in front of me.

He was staring at me. He was skinny and taller. He looked like he had been hiding for a while, because he had leaves in hir hair.

«Keir! What are you doing here? Does your mother know that you’re here?»

His green eyes looked into mine.

«Are you okay, Keir?»

He came to me and caressed my cheek.

«Keir, stop it».

«I can’t», he whispered.

I tried to walk away, but he held me still.

«You’re hurting me, Keir».

I hoped Eddy wouldn’t wake up.

«I love you», he said.

I turned red. It couldn’t be happening.

«This is not love, Keir».

«It is. I love you».

«Well, I don’t love you back».

«You’re in love with him, but I don’t care about that».

«What do you mean you don’t care? You should care! You should pick some other woman».

«I don’t want some other woman. I want you. I’ve been waiting for you to be alone. He is always with you... Why?»

«Keir, now you have to let go of my arm. I love Sam and you must let me go now!», I screamed.

A strong male voice shouted something. It was Moon’s husband. He was standing next to me. Keir let go of me and I walked away. Moon’s husband followed me and we got to their house. I hugged my friend and we got in. The fire was on and she made tea.

«Will you drink hot tea?», she asked.

I told her what had just happened.

«Loves you, right...»

I told her about the letters.

She shook her head.

«Letters written someone older», she said caressing Eddy.

Her husband was sitting on the floor. He was making arrows.

«Will you go hunt?»

«When colder. Now eat fish», she paused. «Sam knows Eddy not his?»

I turned red.

«I believe woman important. Because life is a miracle. No matter how many husbands».

I laughed.

«You’re a good person, Moon».

And we hugged and laughed.

«Is this your first husband?», I asked.

She smiled. «Second, but I love him».

We chattered for a while and then spoke about Eddy. When Sam came in, he was looking angry.

«Hello, Moon. Claire... two hours, remember? Eddy needs to eat».

Eddy was sleeping. I looked at Moon and we both laughed.

«Nice to know you’re having fun, but we should go».

Moon whispered. «Go».

We left and got back home. During the brief walk, Sam told me I needed to be a good mother and wife and so on. When we got to the place where I had met Keir, I felt awkward.

«Claire, are you listening to me?»

«What? Sure».

«You’re not. We’ll talk about this some other time».

«How was your afternoon?», I asked.

He told me about it, then he said: «Keir has run away from home. He does that often, you know. He might be in love».