River, cross my heart (25 page)

Johnnie Mae meandered back down to a boulder at the edge of Rock Creek. She sat down and pulled at weeds that

were holding on like forty, taking pleasure in yanking them up brutally. Her hand closed over the tops of the hlossoms and crushed them and tugged them out.

"You thinking about swimming, Johnnie Mae?" The voice was friendly and slightly joking. He was gently pulling her leg, like he always did. Charlie Hughes had the pleasantest manner of any man she'd ever known.

For the children who came to his swimming classes at the Francis pool, Charlie Hughes was the first adult that they didn't have a prescribed code of behavior toward. He wasn't one of them. He was older and more worldly, a student at Howard University. But though he was an adult, there wasn't a stiff distance between him and the children. When he came upon Johnnie Mae, Charlie had been circulating through the picnic crowd. A big picnic like this reminded him of big church picnics they had in his hometown, Valdosta, Georgia. It was a welcome change from his meals at the university. He had eaten, by this time, four heaping plates of food, one piece of cake, and one piece of pie. The muscles in his stomach were worn out from digesting and he simply wanted to sit and give his stomach some rest. He was looking for a quiet sitting place when he came upon Johnnie Mae with her face looking like a mud fence.

"Oh," she said, turning her head with a snap.

He climbed onto the rock she was sitting on and lowered himself down beside her. "You had enough of the picnic? I ate so much my stomach is worn out. Did you have some of the watermelon? They're cutting it up back there."

"No, I'm just sitting here." She disliked the babyish sound of her own voice. But he had surprised her and she hadn't had

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time to plan out a conversation or pitch her voice to a more mature tone. And looking at Charlie was distracting. All of the girls agreed that he was the best-looking man ever born.

"You look like you've got a lot on your mind, Johnnie Mae," he said. He leaned back on his elbows and stretched out next to her on the boulder like a snake sunning itself after dinner.

"No. I don't know. No." She stumbled over her words. She could have told him volumes because she did have a lot on her mind. But it was impossible to summon up the words. She wanted to say something, though. She would certainly lose his attention if she didn't hold up her end of the conversation. He'd have to be thinking she was a dolt by now.

But she could tell Charlie wasn't thinking she was addled. Maybe he should have been, but he wasn't. He was reclining there, just taking it easy, being companionable. She thought how lucky she was to be sitting next to him. Pearl was going to be jealous. His placid face had no smirks. It was a wide expanse of amiability.

"You know, you're a good swimmer, Johnnie Mae. You've got a lot of native ability. You like swimming?"

Well, he must be asking this just to be polite. Everybody that knew her knew she loved to swim. Her papa said she'd have webbed feet if she kept up swimming every chance she got. And Aunt Ina had said that maybe this wild swimming behavior should stop, now that she was becoming a grown woman. She answered him with a "yes" that was so tentative it made him laugh at her. And she had wanted so much to act mature and hold his interest.

"Oh, I think you like it more than that. I've seen you in the water and I think you like it a lot."

Johnnie Mae and Charlie Hughes sat on their rock for the longest time without talking. The sun, though it was not yet ready to set, had begun creeping its way behind clouds. The sky was light, but the bright yellow had turned pearlescent. The picnickers' voices had begun to soften and lethargy descended on the crowd. Groups of people sat around on the grass, resting themselves and picking food out of their teeth. Johnnie Mae stretched and looked back toward the P Street beach. The bright sun had wearied her eyes and they were now, in the lower light, only hazily focused. Out of this haze, she caught sight of her mother threading through the crowd. Mama walked alone among the people and appeared to be looking for someone. Seen from a distance, woven in among the others, she stood out like a fancy button on a drab coat. Johnnie Mae studied her mother and was fascinated with the knowledge that her mother had not seen her. Who was she looking for? Maybe somebody had walked off with her precious Calvin. The thought struck Johnnie Mae like a hammer. Suppose somebody had walked off with Calvin and her mother was desperately trying to find him? She didn't look frantic, though, only concerned. But Johnnie Mae thought that perhaps at this distance she couldn't see the worry lines in her mother's face. From where she sat, her mother's forehead was like her cheeks and the skin on her arms. It was soft like pudding. But she knew this was just an illusion—a trick of the distance and the waning light and the heat. Her mother's brow was always slightly furrowed. With her there was always a concern. She saw her mother stop and chat amiably with a person here and there. But she soon broke away and strained to see around the milling groups. Though observing her mother unobserved was thrilling, a stinging feeling in

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her guts spoiled the pleasure. What if something had happened? She sprang up from the rock and said, '"Bye" to Charlie. He chuckled as she leapt onto the bank and ran off toward her mother. A feeling of being small, being nearly helpless and liking it, came over her. On the bank, she lost sight of her mother as she tried to see over the heads of the crowd. The crowd had absorbed her fully and Johnnie Mae's eye followed every yellow dress—there were a great many that day. At last, she saw the nape of her mother's neck above the white collar of her flowered yellow dress. She jostled her way through small clumps of people that stood between them and came up behind her. She tapped her mama's shoulder and said, "Hey!" Mama swirled around and her frown turned to a smile and back to a frown when she saw Johnnie Mae. "Where've you been so long? We've been looking for you." So it wasn't Calvin they were worried about. They'd been wondering where she was. They were looking for her. It had not occurred to her until that moment that her mother might be looking for her. She had thought that as long as she could see her mother —feel her mother—scent her mother—she was within the sphere of her mother's influence. Her mother would know where she was. And she had not known until now that she could take herself out of this sphere of mother's love and control. She could take herself away from her mother and her mother would be puzzled and would not know where she was. It takes a child who is well loved a long time to figure out that she can leave her mother's house just by walking away.

Alice looked at her daughter standing on the diving tower at the Francis pool. The girl looked so teeny up there. This change oi thinking was odd. Johnnie Mae had seemed all grown and nearly gone for months. And now, up on the tower, she seemed a tiny little chick. The fear Alice had of water came over her. She had never been tested by river or stream or swimming pool. She had always had a little fear of water, even of her papa's stream back home.

Alice had a dull stomach full of worry all that morning. She'd wanted to change her mind and not come to the swim-ming meet. But she had said she would. Also, Willie was so determinedly disapproving oi Johnnie Mae's swimming that she felt she must go to save face. But she did not want Johnnie Mae to see how disturbed she was at the prospect oi watching her in the water.

And yet seeing her daughter from a distance was proving something. Her child was there — there—gone off away from her. Clara had done that and Johnnie Mae was doing it. They

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had been doing it since the day after they were born. Little Calvin would do it. Little Calvin, whose head was shaped like a perfect honeydew melon, was doing it even now. Johnnie Mae was all of a piece over there. Alice didn't have to worry. A person of so fine a form and grace was her daughter, and she was fine over there. She had moxie and she was smart and there was nothing else to want for her. She'd be taking care of the wants for herself. Her mother would hold on to her still, but she could let her go at any time and the girl would be stalwart.

Ever since the incident at the train station, Willie had been admonishing Alice about her daughter. Saying it that way: "y° ur daughter." "Mind your daughter, woman. See that she does right. It's on you to see that she does right," he'd said over and over. Peace of mind and family peace were at stake since the train station. Willie had made her responsible for keeping Johnnie Mae "in line." She had said that the girl would mind and that it was best for her to stay. She had set herself up to be the one who would be blamed if the girl made a mistake. How dare he box her into a corner like that! There was something between them now that wouldn't be right henceforth. Things were changing, in that deadly quiet way things change between two people. There would be brooding and resentment, and if it never flared up to burn them, it would come close to singeing them surely.

The morning was bright and warm and the crowd of on-lookers was large. The team from Baltimore had brought along lots of supporters, who were thought to be a bit too rowdy by Georgetown standards. Also competing in the swim-ming meet and the diving competition were boys and girls from Barry's Farm in Anacostia. Plenty of folks had made

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the long trip across town to see their team compete in rgetown. The swimming competition was scheduled to follow the

diving exhibition and word got around the milling crowd that Francis Junior High had a powerful swimmer on its team. Press Parker, who'd become Johnnie Mae's most vocal champion, laid down a bet with a man from Anacostia that she would leave the other swimmers in the dust

All the swimmers were poised at the edge of the pool, ready to launch themselves into the water. Johnnie Mae did as Charlie Edward Hughes had told her: she thought of all the lessons and then she put all the instructions out of her head and simply made up her mind to swim. His voice had been soft and compelling as he'd said it: "Just swim, Johnnie Mae. Forget about the techniques and just swim. Girl, just go with all you've got and it'll be more than enough." Charlie had said that all the coaching she could retain was in her by now and she'd just have to trust herself and swim.

Johnnie Mae dove into the water. Her whole body followed the perfect hole her arms made, slipping effortlessly through the seam. She made no splash. The water in the pool was achingly blue and she swam underwater as straight as a bullet, following the lines on the bottom of the pool.

Opening her eyes underwater, she saw a figure in front of her in her lane. The sight startled her, but did not break the rhythm oi her strokes. The figure was like a giant tadpole. Bubbles oi water sat on the figure's very large head and reflected sunshine like glass shards. The figure shimmied through the water and began to look like another girl. Johnnie Mae swam toward her, this girl keeping just ahead. Straight onward

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they swam and Johnnie Mae was puzzled that they hadn't reached the far wall of the pool. The temperature of the water became cooler and its color turned browner. The fragrance changed from the chlorine smell to something nearly putrid.

She became frightened at not having reached the far wall and feared she would lose the race if she brought herself out of the water. But the color of the water and the fragrance and the mysterious girl swimming ahead of her caused alarm. She put her head up and broke the surface of the water. She was no longer in the swimming pool. Somehow she had swum out of the Francis pool. She had swum out of the pool—out of the race — and was following an enigmatic, big-headed tadpole into the middle of Rock Creek. Ahead of her she saw the figure. Its huge head with wriggling green plaits was above the surface of the water too. The big-headed figure laughed and grinned and beckoned her onward. It dove below the surface and she followed. The water closed over her again and she swam in the silent, cool world beneath the surface.

Rock Creek, a snaky waterway through a forest, will take you far out of the district if you follow it. Many a frightened fugitive has waded it and skirted its banks and forded Piney Branch to reach a Quaker in Silver Spring. The water of the pool flowed out into the creek. She swam, following the current, briskly moving past boulders and downed logs and following the big-headed, grinning figure. She swam into the Potomac and knew it as soon as she felt its particular waters against her skin.

She pumped her arms to try to reach the figure swimming in front of her and tag it and say she'd won—she'd beaten it. But the figure stayed ahead of her and kept laughing. The figure continued under the Key Bridge and she followed. Up

ahead of them the mossy towers of the Three Sisters' castle appeared. The figure gained the castle ahead of her and took a seat on the rocks. When Johnnie Mae'd got within inches of the rocks, the water turned tide and pushed her away. She plowed the water and struggled to get closer and tag the figure and tag the rocks, but the water would not let her come close. The figure sat on the rocks and laughed.

Her fingers touched the wall perfectly together and her head lifted. A roar went up when she climbed from the pool. A hand reached down to her and she grasped it. It was Charlie's hand and his face was happy. He must have been roaring because his mouth was wide and round. She couldn't hear anything but felt a rumbling, thunderous reverberation. Charlie indicated the crowd of onlookers and she turned to see wide-open faces and clapping hands and some caps flinging in the air. Papa Willie was waving his cap like a flag. Her mama danced up and down and Aunt Ina was jiggling and wiggling and bouncing baby Calvin. Not just the Georgetowners but the whole crowd was cheering. When she turned back to see the other swimmers climbing out o{ the water, she knew then she'd won it. She'd beaten them all. The other girls ringed her, clapping her on the back.