River: A Novel (28 page)

 “Again, sorry
about that,” he shrugged, unburdened. 

 “What were
you doing there, anyway?” I asked, curious and a bit annoyed by his blasé
attitude.

 “Meeting
Dan, of course.”

 Of course. This
was all about the anti-Lull serum. That diverted my mind back to more selfless
avenues. The rebellion was less than twenty-four hours away. There had to be
some other way that I could help. What if I couldn’t go through with the
performance? My stomach fluttered with anxiety and the faint stirrings of
panic, made even more present by the coffee and serum blend. 

 “Isn’t
there something else I can do? I mean tomorrow? I’m not entirely sure I can go
through with the performance.” I stuttered a bit, speaking in a rush, and then
stood up for more coffee. Asher still had almost a full cup. When I turned
around, he was studying me; his head cocked to the side as though what I’d said
made no sense. Of course, I went on chattering, fighting to keep my voice down.

 “I thought
that while you all gather the people to escape… maybe I could infiltrate the
Domain, or something... to make sure the coast is clear.” His eyes tightened a
bit, making me nervous. “I would need directions, of course, but I know I can
do it. I have to have something else to do if the performance goes south.” Asher
did not acknowledge my choppy plan. Admittedly, it wasn’t promising. But it
wasn’t impractical to assume we needed to cover all our bases.

 “Maybe it’s
not that great of an idea…” Backtracking quietly, I sat down at the table; though
it was perceptibly less inviting than before.

 “No Elodie,
it’s not that great of an idea. Unless you were going to go warn the Speakers
while
you infiltrate their Domain,” he hissed as his expression darkened before my
eyes. I stared up at him in alarm. How could he think that? I just wanted to
lend a hand. And if facilitating another coup against the Speakers got me out
of attempting to perform, well that couldn’t be helped. 

 “Asher
, no
,”
I whispered frantically. My throat suddenly tightened. “I just want a different
job. Everyone is counting on me to perform some kind of amazing show tomorrow,
and I am
going
to
fail
.” I felt tears forming.
Please,
please let him believe me
. 

 His eyes
moved down to the table. To my horror, I realized I was gripping his hand as
well as part of his mug. I let go immediately and reeled in the desperate
appendage, placing both hands on my lap. Embarrassed, I glared at them,
unseeing.

 With quiet,
even words, Asher spoke while I tried to evaporate. “Elodie. You will not fail.
If you are on our side, you
cannot
fail. And if you betray us or go
infiltrating anything—
that
will be your failure.” When I attempted eye contact
with him, the damned tears fell down my cheeks. I wiped them off and nodded,
covering for my pathetic crying. I knew then that I would suffer public
humiliation the next day to prove myself to this man. 

 Asher
cleared his throat, as if stifling a laugh. He was laughing at me now? Yeah, it
was going to be real funny when I started to hyperventilate from the stress he
was inducing, with my breathing into a paper bag for the finale. He seemed to
notice my self-consciousness and sniffed. I scowled at the table.

 “You are a formidable
opponent. I had no idea.”

 “What are
you talking about?” My voice was barely audible.

 “You were
planning on sneaking into the Domain? Do you even know what that would entail?”
Dark mirth filtered through his words. 

 “I told you
I would need directions,” I said a little louder, glaring at him through my
glasses. 

 “And
militia,” he snorted.

 “Well, I
withstood your torture, didn’t I?” Pacifist or not, he
had
incapacitated
me. 

 “Yes,
Elodie. You are a very brave soul.” While studying me, a little bit of a grin
settled on his face, not as condescending. Possibly… admiring? “I should tell
you that I only kidnap those most deserving of it.”

 With palms
beginning to sweat around the warm ceramic mug, my emotions were so wild that
his improbable acceptance tempered the antagonism I’d felt moments before. Eager
to keep away the awful, foggy,
jet-lulled
feeling, I sipped my coffee,
trying not to down it too quickly. Equally desperate for a distraction, I
attempted to quell the panic slowly rising in my chest that something had happened
to Danny. I shook the thought from my head and remembered that I had a few more
questions.

 “Why didn’t
you believe Gwen when she showed you the cards?” I asked abruptly. I was
curious and didn’t know how much longer he would be staying. Not that I believed
the cards, either.

 Asher
raised his eyebrows slightly and leaned back in his chair. I couldn’t tell if
he was taken aback or just getting more comfortable. “The card reading, it’s an
arcane art form and very ambiguous.” He paused for a second, as if searching
for words. “I believe that Gwendolyn read something in those cards from the
past and was projecting it into a future that no longer exists.”

 I couldn’t
argue with him on that, unable to believe that I had any true part in the
rebellion, except to potentially throw up from nerves and too much coffee in
front of hundreds of people.
That
would be a distraction for the team. I
glanced from Asher to the coder. Nothing. It had been ten minutes. I needed him
to keep talking. “Whose future was it, then?” I asked.

 “Her own.”

 Without
prying, I tried to pin down what other questions I had. There were so many that
I felt as if they were a million insects flying around me, and I couldn’t catch
one to examine it. A product of the serum, I guessed. 

 I jumped a
little when Asher spoke without a prompt. “She and my best friend were engaged.
No one knew she was pregnant at the time.” He took a sip of his coffee,
carefully placing the mug back on the table. It seemed he was inviting me into
a conversation.   

 “With Colin?” 

 “Yes.” A look
crossed his face, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what had happened to my
new friend. Gwendolyn had obviously lost something loved. The core of the pain
she had sung from. It appeared as though Asher wanted to talk, and I needed to stop
thinking of Danny being captured while we sat here drinking coffee, so I
continued asking questions. Maybe we both needed to be distracted.

 “What
happened to…?”

 “Thomas. We
called him Thom.” Suddenly, he was staring straight into my eyes, his pain as
evident as if Gwendolyn’s voice filled the room instead of Dan’s music.

 “He’s gone,”
I whispered. Asher became very pale for a second. It didn’t seem he wanted to
go on after that, but I was confused as to why that story would have come up in
the cards. As tragic as it had been, it was in the past. I wasn’t sure how that
could affect what was happening in River now. “Do you want to tell me what
happened?” He gave the impression of being torn as to why he was even talking
at all.

 Asher had
his elbows on the table then, rubbing his eyes slowly. The charcoal smudges
under them darkened his gray irises, and I wondered how long he’d been awake. The
life drained out of him all of a sudden. The coffee and serum were making me so
jittery that I was sure I wouldn’t sleep. 

 “We can
talk about something else.”

 One of his
hands pulled down the length of his face, finally resting on his other arm. “We
were inseparable, the three of us. Family.”  Taking a deep breath, he looked
off to the side. Maybe he needed a reprieve of some kind, and I was only convenient,
an impartial observer. “Thom and I were looking for an escape from the time we
could sneak out of our homes. His had been a little more lenient than mine. My
parents kept me away from the boundary at all times. Thom found what he’d thought
was a weak spot one night. This had been just after the Lulling began, so we
didn’t worry much because the boundary was no longer fenced and heavily guarded.
We just thought we’d get a little sleepy and have to slap each other awake. We
were stupid. I was…” He didn’t go on for a moment. I gripped my cup, knowing
that this was when his best friend, and Gwen’s love, was lost. A wave of sympathy
made me feel weak and distant.

 “Thom was
out. I could see him crawling past the boundary. A few more feet, he would’ve
been past the Lulling, in the clear. My vision was spinning; my legs gave out
under me. Thom must’ve seen me go down. Crossing back over was what did him in.
He should have just kept going.” Asher breathed out suddenly, almost a laugh,
but with absolutely no humor. His head bowed down. I could tell he wanted to be
done with his story. But this wasn’t the end. Not yet. “The next thing I
remember was the Dark Room and bright lights on us. Another one lit up. It was
a spotlight on Gwen.”

 Asher was
wearily staring at me. My face must have had a terrified look; even though I
knew Gwen was safe, now. “We were each on a side of glass, Thom and I on one
side, Gwen on the other. Then we heard laughter. A Speaker was laughing at us. Thom
went to the glass and placed his hand on it. Gwen did the same. I remember
standing there… ready to rip out the tongue—” He took a deep breath, and I looked
away for that second. His face was truly frightening. Even for a pacifist.

 Asher’s
tone changed, and he now stared glassy-eyed at the table. It sounded as if his
words were being forced from a chasm that rarely saw the light of day. “Then we
saw him, standing there with Gwen.”

 “The Speaker?”
I asked in a small voice, imagining a huge and hideous demon. 

 He looked
up as if he’d forgotten I was there, so lost in the past. “He kept playing with
us. After a while, Thom started to beat on the glass. The bastard laughed at
him as Thom signed to let her go. Of course we couldn’t use our voices.” Shuddering,
I fought back tears when I realized what he was leaving out of Gwen’s story. “It
was like we were strangling ourselves—not being able to scream at him.

 “Then, he
finally taunted us, laughing all the while. ‘
Wanna play?
’ he said. Thom
and I just looked at each other. ‘
It’s you or her
.’ He pointed at Thom.
Of course Thom volunteered.” The last few words were barely audible. I couldn’t
take my eyes off him… what he’d been through. Intuition told me what was
coming, but it still stunned me.

 “As soon as
Gwen was with me, the Speaker made us… watch.” He didn’t elaborate, as though
he could see that I couldn’t take it. Maybe he couldn’t, either.

 “Oh,
no
.”
I was holding off tears now, shaking my head slowly. I’d never imagined such
horror.

 Asher
leaned back slightly. “Then it was my turn.”

 Wanting to
say something, I had no idea what words to use. Again, I wasn’t sure I wanted
to know the rest, yet he seemed to have some purpose in telling me. This was
his path of survival.

 “The
spotlight came back on. It was on my father.” I think I gasped a little and
then stopped breathing. The look on Asher’s face was sober, though unbearable
grief was plain in his eyes.

 “I could
tell he wanted to talk, my Dad, but I shook my head at him. I wasn’t given the
option to… exchange. It was quick for him. The last thing he signed was not to
give up,” Asher whispered and leaned back in his chair. 

 Neither of
us was able to form words for a moment, so we sat with Dan’s music playing softly
in the background. “I am so sorry,” I finally said. My response to his tale was
redundant, yet I had to say it. Asher and Gwen had been to hell and back. As
for my subsequent feelings about his kidnapping me, all was forgiven. I understood
his need to know whose side I was on.

 He drew another
deep breath and hunched his tight shoulders. “So now you see. The cards, in my
opinion, were a reminder. That night, I began their revenge. The escape began that
night.”

 I must have
looked puzzled, for he elaborated. “The lovers lose each other in battle, and
then set everyone free.” He surprised me by half-smiling in a knowing way before
he said, “And I’m pretty sure you are not in love with Dan.”

 My eyebrows
rolled toward my hairline. That was… unexpected. “What do you mean…?”

 But our
conversation was cut short by a shrill beep ricocheting through the room. I
jumped up in terror, of course, while Asher sat in complete stillness. He studied
me with tight eyes. Looking around wildly, I watched as he calmly rose and
walked to the counter. Grabbing the coder, he handed it to me and said tiredly,
“It’s Dan.” I sighed in return, relieved.

 
Just-composing—see-you-soon—goodnight

 I sat back
on my chair, feeling my whole body relax. Dan was okay. Deciphering his code
took a minute, and I understood by the underlying tell of the ordinary message that
he wanted me to stay put. 

 “I’m
guessing that the coders are monitored by the Speakers?”

 “Everything
is monitored by the Speakers, Elodie.”

 That was
unfortunate. I wouldn’t really be able to communicate with Danny until
tomorrow. Still, I was feeling much better about his safety. After a moment,
the previous five minutes came back to me. “So how do you know… that I’m not… you
know.” Glad that Asher still stood behind me at the counter, I felt myself
redden.