Riding and Regrets (6 page)

Noel purred those last three words and Jody whimpered. He thought he managed to make some sort of assenting sound or gesture before turning and darting out of the place.

God, Noel was so out of his league, he’d probably be disappointed in Jody as a lover.
What if he laughs at me when I tell him I ain’t ever had full-on sex? He’s gonna think I am such a loser.

Obviously I’ve had sex. I have Prissy.
Jody’s stomach cramped and a stabbing pain ripped through his temple. He cradled his head as he stopped beside the truck. Every time he thought about Prissy’s conception, he drew a blank. His body flipped out on him, though, made him feel sick and weak and scared.

Jody knew that meant something important. He wasn’t a completely ignorant fool.

But he didn’t think he wanted to remember. It was all tied in with the one night that he tried to never think about. There was no other explanation.

Jody got himself under control and made it back to the ranch. He did his job, working harder than he could ever remember because it helped him to keep from worrying about Prissy so much.

Sort of.

“Boy, you checkin’ that phone every two minutes just about,” Duke chided him. “That place would sure as shit call you if there was a problem. Loosen up them apron strings.”

Jody was so offended by that entire spiel that he sputtered uselessly while Duke laughed.

“Aw, calm down, kid. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Duke waved him off, but Jody was mad.

“Yeah, you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have said any of it,” he said. Jody stood up straight, having been bent over to pick up another bag of the feed he’d been stacking. He was scared but determined to get his thoughts out in the open. “You meant it, and now you’re trying to play it off as a joke because you realise you sounded like an asshole.”

Duke’s thunderous expression might have had Jody backing off not more than a week or two ago, but not now. Now he had scarier things to deal with than a pissy cowboy.

“You need to learn to take a joke,” Duke rumbled as he narrowed his eyes at Jody. “You think it’s okay to smart off, but anyone teases you and you get as prickly as a porcupine. Grow up, kid. You got responsibilities no one else here does, and you have to step up to ’em. Quit acting like everyone’s out to get you. Ain’t none of us that interested.”

Jody recoiled a step, his pride stinging.

Duke sighed, cursed and took his hat off to scrub at his sweaty hair. “Damn it, okay. That was harsher than I meant it to be, maybe. That last part, I mean. I’m sorry for that.”

Jody didn’t feel any better for the apology, but if he didn’t accept it, then he’d be accused of being an immature asshole again. “Okay.” He watched Duke for a moment and saw him grimace as he touched a spot on his head.
Is that blood in his hair? I thought it was sweat, but…
“Uh, are you okay?”

Come to think of it, Duke wasn’t usually so mean. He’d got onto Jody more than once, but Jody’d had it coming, having shot off his big mouth.

Duke growled, literally, like a mad dog or a cornered grizzly. “Get back to work,” he snapped. Jody started to, but there was something off about Duke and if he was going to be a man, then he needed to step up.

“What happened to you?” Jody asked, approaching the older man slowly. He was fairly certain that wasn’t sweat now, but the barn lighting wasn’t the best. “How’d you get hurt?”

“What’re you talking about? Aren’t you supposed to be doing something useful?” Duke shoved his hat back on and something about the way he held himself projected a menacing note Jody didn’t care for. “You ain’t mothering me, kid.”

Jody held up his hands in front of himself. “Okay, Duke. I was just asking. You seem a bit—”

Duke startled him with a sudden lunge forward. Jody yelped and skittered backwards, narrowly avoiding a solid punch to the face. “What the hell!”

Duke snarled and swung again, then as suddenly as his violent spell had begun, it stopped, and Duke collapsed with a bone-jarring thud.

Jody’s adrenaline was pumping and he shook all over as he tried to catch his breath. He took his phone out again, and this time he dialled Carlos. When that went to voicemail, Jody called Will.

“I’m in the feed barn and Duke’s passed out,” Jody said as soon as the phone was answered. “I think he was hurt before he came in here.”

“I’m on my way.” Will hung up and Jody did too then he tucked his phone away. He could see that Duke was breathing, could hear him too, so he knew that the man was alive. Jody eased the cowboy hat off all the way and leaned over to look at Duke’s head. There was blood in his hair, and now that Jody knew to look, on the inner part of the hat as well.

“Fuck!” Will burst out with as he ran into the barn. “What happened?”

“I don’t know what happened before he came in here, but once he was in the barn with me, he turned into a mean fucker,” Jody said.

“What are you talking about?” Will snapped. “Duke’s the bomb.”

“He tried to hit me, Will.” Jody nodded when Will looked at him with disbelief. “Why would I lie? He came in here and started giving me grief over checking my phone. I been worried about Prissy all day. He got nasty about it, told me no one cared about me or something to that effect. When I tried to talk to him about it, he lost his mind and threw two punches at me before he passed out. He’d been messing with the side of his head before that, and look.” Jody pointed to the wet hair. “That’s blood, and it ain’t super fresh.”

Will cursed again and used his phone’s flashlight app to shine a brighter light on the spot Jody had pointed to. There was a large knot there, and a gash. “What the fuck?” Will muttered. “A head injury would explain him acting so out of character. Should I call for an ambulance?”

“He needs a hospital,” Jody said. “I don’t know if you should call an ambulance. Might be quicker just to drive him in yourself. Less time wasted.”

“Gotcha. Good thinking.” Will’s hands shook as he called Troy. In short order, Troy and Carlos were in the barn and Duke was roused enough to open his eyes. Jody left the men to their care of Duke, and resumed his work. Whatever’d happened to Duke had almost certainly been an accident. Jody was still smartin’ over the things Duke had said, but he kept telling himself to let it go. Duke had obviously been out of his mind.

When he’d finished with his chores for the day, Jody had to try to scare up a set of keys. Carlos, Will, Troy and Duke weren’t back yet from the hospital, which was worrisome. Jody nibbled on his bottom lip. He was going to have to ask who had keys to what. The truck he’d used in the morning was parked where he’d left it. The keys had been passed around to whoever needed a vehicle to run errands around the ranch.

Jody asked Frankie about them.

“No idea, Jo.” Frankie brushed past him, making a beeline to the bathroom. “I got a hot date tonight. No time for helping you hunt ’em down.”

“A—” Jody’s thoughts went to Noel. “Who’ve you got a date with?” There couldn’t be that many eligible men—gay men, anyway—in Ashville. Jody had a paranoid vision of Frankie on his knees offering to suck Noel off. It sent a jolt of anger right through him.

“Guy I been chatting with online. He’s over in Junction. Don’t worry about it.” Frankie shut the bathroom door.

Jody was worried, a little at least. What Frankie was doing didn’t seem safe. It wasn’t his place to nag, but he couldn’t stop himself from knocking on the door and at least expressing some concern for Frankie’s life. “You sure that’s a good idea? I mean, people get hurt doing stuff like meeting up with strangers.”

Frankie opened the door enough that Jody got a peek at his dick and the rest of his naked body. The longing for the comfort of his former lover’s touch was like a physical ache. Jody just wanted someone to want him.

“Kiddo, it’s fine. I know what I’m doing, but your concern is sweet.” And Frankie shut the door again. Jody blinked at it then backed up.

“You need keys?”

Guilt and shame were two emotions Jody was used to experiencing any time he heard that voice. As tempting as it was to not answer, or to say no, Jody forced himself to turn around and meet Ramsey’s eyes. “Yeah.”

Ramsey nodded once then disappeared into his and Barney’s room.

Jody looked at the floor and wondered how it was that someone who’d been as big a dickhead as Ramsey was now liked by pretty much everyone.

“Here you go.” Ramsey came back out and tossed the keys a few inches in the air and caught them. “Barney had ’em earlier.”

Jody caught the keys when Ramsey threw them to him. Jody started to walk away with a muttered thanks, but he was an adult now and he had a kid to raise. He had to be the kind of person he’d want Prissy to be. God, it was hard, though. “Ramsey.”

Ramsey arched a brow and folded his arms over his chest.

Jody licked his lips. “I’m sorry, okay? I said something a while back, and I don’t know if it ever got back to you, but I was just trying to… To…” Jody hissed in frustration. He’d wanted to be witty, but as could often happen to people who had to strain to crack a joke, he’d botched the whole thing. When it came right down to it, offering an excuse was kind of stupid. He just needed to take responsibility for his big mouth. “I’m just sorry.”

Ramsey’s half smile confused Jody. He didn’t know if the man was amused or what. Ramsey cleared the issue up for him. “Yeah, I’d heard. You know us guys are worse gossips than anyone else. For what it’s worth, I had it coming. I wasn’t very nice to anyone here until Barney straightened me out.”

“So we’re good?” Jody asked. It’d be nice not to be carrying around that particular batch of guilt. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to try to avoid either Ramsey or Barney anymore. Which made him think— “Should I, um… Should I talk to Barney, too?” Why was it so difficult to admit that he’d screwed up? “Apologise to him, too, I mean,” Jody rushed out.

“Nah, we’re good,” Ramsey said. “Barney couldn’t hold a grudge if it was glued to his hands.”

Jody knew Barney was a nice guy, everyone said so. “Okay, then. Thanks.”

“Hey, if that daycare doesn’t work out for you, I think Barney’s mom might be willing to babysit,” Ramsey added as Jody started to leave. “Just an idea.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Jody wasn’t sure how he felt about letting someone babysit Prissy. Daycare seemed safer, but there were horror stories about nightmarish things happening in them, too.

He made it to the daycare well after Noel was supposed to be off work. It was almost six when Jody went inside, and he felt like pure crap for leaving Prissy there so long. With Duke and the others gone, there’d been extra work for all the hands. At least Jody’d been able to call and let the centre know that he’d be late. He hadn’t got to speak to Noel then, either, instead having a short chat with Gertie, who manned the desk during Noel’s lunch break.

So it was with a startled sound that he found himself greeted by Noel. “Hey, Jody! Sounds like you all had a rough day out at the ranch. How’s the guy that got hurt?”

“Duke,” Jody got out. “I don’t know. They aren’t back yet. I guess that might be bad.” Which hadn’t occurred to him until that moment.

Noel flapped a hand in the air, as if shooing away the idea. “Nah, I bet it’s just typical ER backlog. It can take hours to get seen unless you’re actually bleeding to death, and even then…” He shrugged. “Prissy’s been so good today! Aunt G is with her right now. You want to come back and we’ll go get her?”

“Sure.” Jody walked beside Noel, and he liked the way their shoulders bumped every other step. He also liked the way Noel smelt, his cologne some rich scent that reminded Jody of fine dark chocolate.

“Would you like to go out to grab a bite?” Noel surprised him by asking. “I figure it’s been a rough day, right? A nice hot meal with charming company would be great for all of us.”

Jody sniffed and wrinkled his nose. “I haven’t even got to shower.”

Noel winked at him then surprised him again by catching hold of Jody’s elbow and tugging him closer. “I really like the way you smell, like a man who’s worked hard all day. I like it a lot,” he whispered, his breath warming Jody’s ear. “Makes me want to do so many, many bad things to you. Bad things you’d love.”

“Oh,” was all Jody managed to get out. Noel palmed his nape and squeezed it gently. “Oh, oh, man, that feels good.” He was so starved for touch he almost bawled.

Noel hummed and massaged his neck with more force. Jody sighed and let his head fall forward, his cowboy hat tipping off. He caught it and forgot about hat hair until it was too late. Noel ran his hand up into the back of Jody’s hair, then farther up, kneading Jody’s scalp. Somehow, at some point, Jody had grabbed onto Noel’s belt. He clung to the man just that little bit, and only for a minute, because his own needs weren’t his priority anymore. “Gotta get Prissy, huh?”

“Yeah.” Noel gave him one last caress then tipped Jody’s chin up. “But first, just this.”

Jody’s lips parted before his brain processed what was about to happen. He let his eyes close as Noel covered his mouth with warm, sweet lips. Jody moaned as Noel licked into him, as he got his first taste of Noel in return. The kiss was quick but deep, and it left Jody shaken by how very intense it’d been.

“Come on,” Noel said, his voice rough. “I can’t be mauling you here in the daycare. Not that I would, but, you know.”

There wasn’t anything to say, not when Jody’s brain was stuck on
Oh, my God, that’s what a real kiss is like!
Frankie hadn’t been interested in kissing, and Jody hadn’t been willing to initiate anything like that and risk being made fun of.

But Noel had just rocked his entire world.

“I wouldn’t seriously grope you here, in case you’re worried,” Noel was saying. “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

Jody touched his lips and stared at Noel. He had to look like the biggest goofball ever, but he couldn’t help it.

Noel canted his head to one side. “Are you mad? You don’t look mad. You look—” He gasped. “Wait. Have you ever been kissed?”

“Not like that,” Jody admitted. “Not so good that I almost came from it.” Not with passion, certainly. “You must think I’m a loser.”