Resistance (The Institute Series Book 2) (6 page)

He pulls his mouth away from mine and starts tracing kisses down my neck. I arch my back, pushing myself into him harder.

“So beautiful,” he murmurs against my skin.

“Your room?” I ask, trying to be confident, but it comes out nervous and a little desperate.

“I would love that, I really would. I don’t think you realise how much.”

“Uh, actually,” I say, looking down at myself sitting in his lap. “I have a pretty good inkling.”

He lets out a groan. “If only I didn’t just give my room to your brother,” he replies breathlessly.

“Damn it,” I say, touching my forehead to his.

We sit there for a moment, just trying to catch our breaths. Climbing off him, I sit down next to him, but his arm still lingers around me. “So I guess I can’t call you ‘just a friend’ anymore.”

“You better not,” he says jokingly, but then his face goes straight and he gets flustered. “I just realised how possessive that came out. I didn’t mean it like that. You can tell people we’re just friends if you want. I …” He’s getting tongue tied which is weird for Chad – he’s usually good with words. I smile. “I didn’t mean—”

“Chad,” I say. “Stop talking.” And I kiss him again.

***

Sitting next to the fireplace, I take in its warmth. Chad stayed with me in the living room last night, but sharing one couch and one blanket between the two of us got uncomfortable really quick. Plus Chad snores. It sucks. It’s not like how I imagined sharing a bed with someone. The romantic fantasy of falling asleep in each other’s arms, waking up refreshed and not at all with a crick in your neck was dashed when after an hour of trying, I just couldn’t fall asleep.

The pile of logs next to the fireplace is getting smaller, but the orange light of dawn is starting to peer through the window. Pulling out the letter that Tate wrote me those many months ago, I read it for the zillionth time.

‘Wipe that stupid look off your face, Allira.’
Nice way to start a heartfelt goodbye letter, right?

‘I know everything is hard to understand right now, and I know you have no idea what is going on. All I really need you to know is that I am sorry for having kept a big part of me a secret. I had to. I had to do it so I could get you out of here.

You can’t get angry at me (I won’t allow it) for the lies between us. I know on some level you are comparing what Chad and I have done to what Drew did to you. But I’m telling you now that there is one big difference between us. He did everything to save his own skin. We did everything to save yours. In fact, the only thing I get from this is I lose my best friend. So your argument is invalid.

Now, before you get all teenagery on me and claim our whole friendship was a lie and blah, blah, blah, let me explain this – I had no idea who you were when I befriended you. I didn’t realise you were Persephone’s daughter. I didn’t know until I met Shilah. On my last assignment before I was arrested, we were under strict instructions not to approach him because of who he was. Your mum did not want Shilah to live the life of a fugitive. Finding out who you are had no impact on the way I feel about you because you were my friend first. I’d already fallen for you, (in the platonic sense of course, because as we have already established, you are not a dude.)

Also, don’t punish Chad for obeying my orders. Outranking him really does come in quite handy when I want favours. He was doing it to save you just as much as I was. I told you he was on the right side. He’s on your side.

As much as I would have loved this letter to be well-written and inspirational, even a bit philosophical, I have little time and am taking a big risk by even doing this at all. I can’t say anything more other than, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I am not sorry that I did it. I would do it again if it meant you got to live the life you deserve; a life of choices, a life of freedom and hopefully one day – a life of equality.

If you ever doubt yourself, just remember: YOU’VE GOT THIS. You’re one of the strongest people I know, even if you don’t feel it sometimes.

And with that, I say goodbye. I love you.’

He didn’t sign his name.

I look at the words, written out in front of me. Tate knew exactly how I was going to feel, exactly what I was going to be thinking when I found out about the Resistance, right down to the look of astonishment that resided on my face.

I hate that he’s still there, I hate that he refused to come with us. He’s probably right though – if they knew what he could do, he’d most likely not be allowed out of their sight. He would be trapped forever, as he is now, but also doing unspeakable and inhumane things to others.

I miss talking to him. I miss
not
talking to him. Our telepathic conversations, while often rambling and nonsensical, were some of the closest and meaningful conversations I’ve ever had with anyone. I often find myself wondering if the whole concept of a soul mate was true, I had found mine in Tate. Not in the romantic way, of course. I always thought the soul mate fantasy an unrealistic view of the world – it should have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with friendship. A soul mate is someone you spend your entire life knowing. You grow with them, you become a part of who they are and vice versa until there is a point where you don’t know where they end and you begin.

Looking down at the letter, I reread over and over that Chad was just obeying orders. It makes me wonder if it came down to making a choice between the Resistance and me, which one would he make? Would he be able to put his unambiguous determination aside and pick me over the cause? Not that I think he will ever have to. I just feel like I may always come second with him. Looking up at him still snoring on the couch, I want to believe he’s on my side. In this moment, I decide to.

Carefully and quietly, I gently climb back onto the couch next to him. Letting the warmth of his blanketed body cover me, he stirs for a moment but is back to sleep within seconds. I didn’t realise how cold it was until I felt how warm he is. With my head in the nook of his shoulder and my hand on his chest, I think I might actually fall asleep, even with the snoring.

Chapter Five

“This looks cosy,” Ebbodine’s voice wakes me. I look to the couch opposite us where she sits. Has she been there a while? I didn’t even hear her come in. Then again, she can teleport so she probably only just got here.

Jumping off of the couch, I forget about any desire I
should
have not to disturb Chad. I tackle Ebb on the opposite couch.

“Whoa. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m not into girls,” she says laughing. She always says this whenever I show her any form of affection, whether it be a mere compliment or any form of physical contact. “Plus, I’m not into sloppy seconds,” she says, gesturing to Chad.

Chad sits up, rubbing his face trying to wake up. “I’m so glad you considered my request to stop ‘popping in’ whenever you wanted, seriously, Ebb.”

“Yeah, sorry. I couldn’t really help it when I found out Allira was finally here,” she says wrapping her arm around me.

“What time is it?” I ask as I hear banging and clattering of pots and pans coming from what is presumably the kitchen.

“Eight.” Ebbodine replies.

“Wow, and you’re out of bed?” I ask her sarcastically. The Ebb I know struggled to get out of bed in time for school to start at nine.

“Yeah. Don’t get much of a sleep in here; too much to do,” she says with a sigh. “Come on, let’s get some breakfast!”

Mum is putting food on the dining table where Dad, Shilah, and Drew are already seated when we walk out of the living room. Dad at least seems a bit friendlier towards Drew this morning. And by friendly, I mean not yelling at him.

Mum and Dad are both still wearing military uniforms though. I meant to ask why last night, but there were more important things to discuss.

“So what’s with the uniforms?” I ask, taking a seat at the table.

“Oh, this is kind of a welcoming house. We usually only put people in here for the first day or two until we can get them settled into their own accommodations. It’s pretty run down and we don’t tend to it often as it’s too close to the road to set up here permanently,” Mum starts to explain. “Because of its proximity to the road, when someone stays here, we put on these uniforms for anyone passing through. We don’t get many people stumbling upon us, usually just teenagers on dares, snooping their way through. The uniforms scare them off pretty quickly and we tell them it’s too dangerous out here and that they’re past the radiation barrier. It’s lucky we only get the occasional interested teenager or member of the public. These uniforms aren’t standard and if an official was to come out and find us, they’d see right through the charade. It’s just a safety precaution.”

I nod, accepting her explanation, then glance at the food. There isn’t really anything I would like to eat. There’s scrambled eggs, a platter of fruit and plate of greens to choose from.

“Coffee?” I ask.

My parents just stare blankly at me.

“Sorry darling, we don’t have any coffee. We don’t grow the beans in our crops,” Mum replies. “We have tea?”

“Oh shit,” Drew says, smiling at me. “I do not want to be around you this afternoon.”

“No, that’s okay,” I reply politely to Mum while kicking Drew under the table. He knows what I’m like when I don’t have my morning coffee. I shake my head,
No coffee?! What kind of hell is this?

“So what’s the plan for today?” I ask, while shovelling food in my mouth. I didn’t have much of an appetite to begin with, but tasting the eggs reminded me of what I’d been missing out on while at the Institute, where everything was laboratory grown. Even the restaurant I was working at used synthetic foods. I can’t get the fresh food in fast enough; it tastes amazing and reminds me of my past life – meals at home with Dad and Shilah. I take a break from stuffing my face to take in this moment. My family, my friends, all together at one table … and Drew. But it’s easy to ignore him when I’m this happy.

“I’ll show you around the compound today, introduce you to a few people,” Mum says. “Then we’ll organise some housing for us, now that there will be the four of us.”

“Four?” Shilah asks. “You and Dad … are … you know?”

“I don’t know if I want the answer to that question,” I joke.

My parents look at each other, smiling like lovesick teenagers. “We didn’t separate when I left. Well, we did, but not because we didn’t love each other,” Mum replies.

Shilah makes a pretend puking noise, making me laugh.

“I was thinking, Mrs. Daniels,” Ebbodine says. “I could really do with a roommate. There’s enough room at my place for another bed, and I wouldn’t mind the company if you would allow Allira to stay with me.”

Mum and Dad look at each other again and it almost seems like they can talk telepathically to each other. I guess when you’ve been a couple for as long as they have, even after an eight-year gap, you still have that kind of connection.

“You’re eighteen, Allira, so it’s not up to us,” Dad says.

“I wouldn’t mind sharing with Ebb. If you guys are okay with it.”

I do want to stay with my family, but the thought of going back into a cramped living space like our old farmhouse with not only Dad and Shilah, but with Mum as well? I really got used to having my own space and my own area while living at the Institute. Living with Drew took some getting used to, but eventually that felt natural too. I’m sure living with Ebb will be easier than living with three other people.

“Whatever you would like, sweetie,” Mum responds.

I glance sideways at Ebbodine in excitement. She mouths something to me. I think it’s meant to be ‘you’re welcome’. I don’t know what she exactly means by that but I shrug it off.

Chad reaches over, his hand finding my thigh under the table. I look at him, smiling, but he just casually keeps eating like nothing is going on – like this transition from friends to … more than friends isn’t a big deal.

“We’ll be leaving soon,” Mum says. “So if you wanted to shower and maybe get a change of clothes, I’d go now. Your Dad managed to save most of what was in your wardrobe from home and some of the others here at the compound have donated some of their old clothes. Drew, would you like to go first?”

“Umm. Sure, I guess,” Drew replies, getting up from the table.

“Just down the hall, on the right. There’s a pile of clothes in there you can pick from. Towels are in the bathroom,” Mum tells him.

As soon as Drew leaves and we can hear the water running, Mum’s expression turns serious.

“So what actually happened last night?” she asks. “How did Drew end up coming with you? Do you think we can trust him?”

“He caught her sneaking out,” Chad answers. “I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Actually, I reckon I could throw him pretty far so I take that back.” He smiles. “I don’t trust him, but we had no choice.”

“So what are we meant to do with him?” she asks.

“Can you do your thing and send him back?” I ask her, referring to her memory tampering skills.

“That’s not such a great idea. My ability is somewhat unstable. To make sure we got all the right memories, I’d have to erase the last twenty-four hours. And even then, he may still remember what happened, but assume it was a dream. That happens sometimes. When the Institute question him and they realise a whole day is missing, they’ll know someone like me is out there. We’ve been fairly good at flying under the radar so far, we don’t really want to give too much of us away.”

“So you guys aren’t with the same rebellion group protesting all over the city? I saw them once,” I say, remembering the day not long before I was arrested when Drew and I were practically jumped on by a fiery redhead protesting to get Defective people released from the Institute.

Mum scoffs, “No. We have nothing to do with them. I know they’re trying to help our cause but I think they’re just going to end up getting their very own cell at the Institute.”

“So what does that mean for Drew?” I ask. “We can’t erase his memory, we can’t trust him. What do we do?”

I’m surprised when Shilah answers. “We do to him what the Institute does to everyone else. We train him up, teach him to think like us. We still don’t have to trust him, we just need to keep him here, keep him busy, and not tell him too much.”

“It could work,” Dad says.

“I don’t know about that,” I say. “He’s been with the Institute a long time. They’ve completely brainwashed him into thinking he was doing the right thing.”

“We can show him what the
actual
right thing is,” Shilah suggests.

The shower stops running and we all go back to eating. I actually stop eating because I’ve shoved the food in so fast, I’m starting to feel sick.

Drew comes out of the bathroom, clean and wearing jeans and a baggy t-shirt. “So what’s the verdict?” he asks, sitting back down at the dining table.

“Verdict?” I ask.

“What are you going to do with me?” Oh. He knows we only sent him to the shower so we could talk about him.

“You’ll stay and be a part of our community,” Mum says. “But you have to understand that we can’t let you be on your own yet. I’ll set you up with one of the families living here – with Allira living with Ebb, maybe you could stay with us.”

“No!” Dad and Shilah say in unison.

“Whatever you think is best,” Drew says without protest.

He’s being remarkably calm about this whole thing. Last night he was trying to get away, resisting the whole time, but now he seems easy. Too easy. He has a long way to go before I can put any sort of trust in him.

“I’m going to go shower,” I say, leaving the table.

Walking down the hallway, I find the room where the clothes are and search high and low for something I could wear. I find a pair of jeans and a long sleeved black top with a plunging neck line. It must belong to Ebb – she must have donated it, and it’s mixed in with all of my old clothes from the farm. I search for something to wear underneath it so my boobs are at least a little covered.

I jump in the shower and as much as I’m enjoying the warm water washing over me, I know I need to hurry. Everyone is waiting for me. When I get out of the bathroom, Dad, Ebb, and Chad have left.

“Where did they go?” I ask.

“They had to start on their jobs,” Mum replies. “Everyone works here, Lia.” I just nod, but I smile at the fact she called me Lia. And even though she was kind of condescending, my smile appears anyway. It’s a nickname that only Mum and Aunt Kenna use for me. “Are we ready to go?” she asks.

“I might just grab a quick shower,” Shilah says.

“Okay. While you do that, I’ll go check that the car is charged and ready to go,” Mum says.

Drew and I are left alone. I shift my gaze away from him.

“A bit ironic, don’t you think?” he asks me.

“Ironic?”

“Well yeah. Running from the Institute, hiding? Is this not the same plan we had for Shilah and me months ago?”

“Yes, but wasn’t that plan actually fake?” I argue.

“I’m not going to get into another fight with you, Allira. The truth is that plan – while fake – was something that I often found myself thinking and dreaming about. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live like this, to be free. So, thank you.”

“For?”

“For bringing me here,” he replies.

“I think you need to thank Chad, not me. If it was up to me, you never would’ve come with us last night.”

Drew nods, “Fair enough. I’ll remember to thank him later.” I doubt very much that Drew will actually do it. “And I just want to say that you don’t have to be all defensive towards me. I know we will not be getting back together. I thought that might have been a possibility because the last three months have been great, I even thought we were building some trust again. But now I realise it was just an act on your part. I hope we can put everything behind us and start fresh though. I hope we can be friends.”

“I guess,” I reluctantly agree. “But just because we’re friends, that doesn’t mean I have to trust you. And remember, my boyfriend will kick your arse if you do anything remotely close to screwing me over again.” I play it off like I’m half-joking but I think we both know there’s truth to what I just said.

“Oh, so he
is
your boyfriend now?” he asks. I don’t answer him, I don’t need to. I think my face – the horrid blushing – says it all. “To be honest,” he says, “I’m actually more scared about you kicking my arse. I feel a bit sore today, in case you were wondering,” he says, rubbing his neck.

I smile, “You can thank Chad for that too. He taught me how to knock someone out with a single punch.”

“Okay, are we ready?” Mum interrupts, walking back in. She’s changed out of her military costume and looks more like the mother I remembered. Her hair neatly braided down her back, a long maxi dress covering up her strong, fit body. I give her a smile.

“I am,” Shilah says coming down the hallway. Drew and I stand.

“Let’s go,” Mum says.

We follow her out to where a car is parked. Another old, beat up hatchback. I guess the Resistance don’t have access to fancy cars like the ones at the Institute.

“So as you can see,” Mum starts as we all get into the car – Shilah in the front, Drew and I in the back. “We run everything on solar here,” she says, pointing to the roof of the house where solar panels cover the roof tiles. “All of our properties are solar based. We have battery storage tanks that charge throughout the day to give us the electricity we need at night.”