Rebel Rockstar (18 page)

A
s the night progresses
, I realize that I was wrong to worry. I should have spent more time enjoying the concert than freaking out. I should have trusted that everyone was going to do the best job possible, because that’s exactly what they have done. I even do a little bit of singing myself—I hadn’t planned to, necessarily, but the crowd calls out for it, so I get up to do three of my most famous songs just to please the happy audience.

After that, I give a little speech before the real partying begins, just to sum the evening up. “Thank you everyone for coming,” I say to the screaming, cheering crowd. “All the acts have been amazing, so thank you to everyone who performed.” More yelling. “On top of that, we’ve raised a very cool forty-five thousand dollars, which is much more than I was expecting. That money will
all
be going to help victims of abuse, so you have all done something amazing here.”

I wait for a second for the cheering to stop. After a while, people seem to notice that there is more to come, because an odd hush falls over the crowd. “I just have one more thing to do before we can get to the real fun.” I smile at everyone as chuckles pepper the crowd. “Will Jemima Rockwell join me onstage?”

A spotlight shines on her, and she gives her mom a confused look. Her mom simply shrugs innocently, as if she has no idea of what’s to come. The crowd parts as she walks, and I take a second to examine the stunner that’s practically floating toward me. She’s in a gorgeous black dress, but everything else about her is very natural, very Jem. Gone is the crazy updo and the heavy makeup Kim insisted on while she was trying to create the sexier version of her—which was crazy. She’s so much more attractive when she’s just being herself. Now she has her hair hanging loose, and a flicker of mascara on her eyelashes, making her a vision of beauty.

She walks up the steps, giving me a look, begging me to tell her what’s going on, but I simply smile. She’s probably expecting some sort of extra congratulations. I’m sure that she has no idea what I really have planned. As she stands next to me, I take her hands in mine and gaze into her eyes for a few short seconds before dropping to my knee and tugging the ring out of my pocket.

As the realization hits her, she gasps loudly and slaps her hands across her mouth. She glances at her mom, who grins widely at her—I asked her permission for this, and she helped me plan it, so I know for a fact that she’s on board.

“Jemima Rockwell,” I start, dragging her attention back to me. “You are the love of my life. I love you now more than I ever have, and that only increases with each day that passes.” Tears shine in her eyes, which makes it difficult not to get choked up myself. “I know that our road hasn’t been an easy one, but I feel like everything we’ve faced has just made us stronger. It’s built us up so we can face anything.” The crowd is hushed in anticipation. “I want to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman alive. Will you do me the honor of agreeing to be my wife?”

She waits a beat too long to answer, causing my fear levels to rise rapidly. Suddenly I imagine a scenario that I hadn’t planned for at all.
What if she says no? What the hell will I do? All these people will see my rejection. I’ll never be able to go out in public again…

Then she answers.

“Oh, my God, Nate, of course I will!” she cries, shattering all of my negative thoughts. I pick her up and spin her around in the air while the crowd bursts into the loudest cheers yet.

* * *

W
e get home
a few hours later, both elated from the night and a little shattered too. That doesn’t stop me from desiring this woman—my fiancée. She has barely stepped inside and I’m already crashing against her, pushing her back against the wall and kissing her with all the intensity that I feel for her.

She presses her body up against mine, molding into me. As we kiss, her hands get tangled up in my hair, her breaths become labored, and all of it revs up my body to a whole new level.

“I love you, you know.” She stops me, pushing back to look at me, sounding serious for just a second. “I really do. I need you to know that, after all you’ve done for me today.”

“I love you too,” I reply, kissing her once more. “I would do anything for you. I hope you know that.” The passion radiating from Jem’s lips sparks a fire within me, one that feels like it could burn me up. She’s trailing her fingers down my body, sending bolts of desire racing right through me. “You’re the love of my life, and I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”

I pull her body closer to mine, wrapping her arms around me, and she grinds her hips seductively into me, causing my cock to strain painfully against my pants. My heart pounds with desire, almost bursting from my chest. I’m so close to getting exactly what I’ve been wanting all evening. If I don’t have her now, my body might just collapse from longing. As I trail slow kisses all over her, I wonder how there was ever anyone before her. This is the most perfect woman on the planet, and I’m so glad that I have her.

Heat pools in the bottom of my stomach, zipping through my veins as our hands explore each other’s bodies. It sets each one of my limbs on fire, leaving me dizzy with desire. I love this woman. I love her so fiercely, so damn much, and I want to physically express that to her. I want her to understand just how much she means to me.

I tug her dress over her head, revealing the gorgeous milky skin beneath. My heart pounds hard against my chest and I eye her up and down, wondering how I got so damn lucky.

“You’re so beautiful,” I moan before unhooking her bra and running my hands over her naked breasts, tugging and playing with her nipples as I go, knowing exactly what she likes. I’m getting to know her body really well now, even better than she does, and I love that. I love giving her new experiences and doing things to her that she wasn’t expecting to like. There’s no better feeling in the world.

Well, except the moment that she agreed to be my wife.

Jem throws her head back in ecstasy, closing her eyes, fully losing herself in the moment. I take full advantage of this, raining kisses down over her neck and collarbone, making her increasingly wild. I explore every inch of her curves with my hands, enjoying how familiar and how different she feels every time we’re together. I can’t imagine ever feeling anything but excited with Jem, and I’m so happy to see what the future holds.

“Oh, God…” I groan as she touches me too, exploring the hardness that she’s given me. She touches my cock with her soft fingers, but as she gets more confident and excited, she grips me tighter, growing hungrier for me. “Oh, fuck, Jem.” In the end I have to pull her hand away. Much as I’m enjoying what she’s doing to me, I don’t want to lose myself too quickly.

I slide her lace panties off of her, staring deeply into her eyes the entire time. Then I wrap her legs around me and drive myself into her, right there, up against the wall.

“I love you, future Mrs. Romero.” I smile, kissing her lightly as I thrust teasingly into her. “I cannot wait for you to be my wife.”

“I can’t wait for that either.” She trails her nails down my back, thrusting against me too. Before long, I can feel her walls contracting and I can see by her eyes that she’s getting close, that she’s almost there, and I move harder and faster against her.

We both collapse into one another’s arms, giving into the amazing pleasure that we’re giving one another. I grip her tighter, never wanting to let her go.

“Come on.” I hold her hand, giving her a loving smile. “Let’s go to bed. We need to start wedding planning tomorrow.”

“Already?” she exclaims, laughing loudly. “Really? Don’t you want to be engaged for a while first?”

“Hell no!” I reply. “I want you to be my wife right now. I want you to be mine forever.”

O
ne year later
…

“
A
re you getting excited yet
?” Lola points down to my swollen belly. “Or are you terrified of giving birth?” I laugh, thinking that I’d hit her if she weren’t in exactly the same boat herself.

“It’s all right for you,” I exclaim. “You’re only having the one!” I still can’t believe that Nate and I are about to have our lives completely shaken up by the birth of our twin boys. It seems absolutely insane. As soon as our wedding was over, Nate started talking about having children and growing our family, but I didn’t expect it to happen quite so quickly.

“Hey, at least your pregnancy will be over soon!” Tonya exclaims, looking at her smaller stomach. “I still have forever to go.” She and Simon are due to get married in a few weeks, and much as she’s happy to be having a baby, it’s stressing her out that she’s having to have her dress and everything adjusted to suit her new growing body. At least by that time, I’ll have given birth, so I’ll be able to relax more with my bridesmaid duties.

I can’t believe that all three of us have ended up in a situation where we’re all having babies around the same time—it’s more perfect than anything else in the world. When I first found out that I was expecting, I was terrified, but when Lola announced her news not long after, I felt better, since I knew I’d have someone going through the same things with me. She and Ben are married now too.

The six of us are now pretty much inseparable, which is wonderful for all of us. I love our little group. It feels amazing to have a readymade family. Nate and Tonya are still very successful in their singing careers, but they’re thinking about slowing down to incorporate family life. Lola has been on a break for a while, ever since the thing with Cole, but I’m sure she’ll go back to it when she’s ready. When she’s older and wiser, and ready to tackle the industry head on. She’s even thinking about trying acting, which I think she’ll be brilliant at. At least Ben’s books are selling—he’s supporting them both very well, giving her the time she needs to make up her mind.

As for me, I’m a singing coach these days and loving every second of it. I’m still slowly making a new album, but with my priorities changing, everything is different in my life. I’m so happy with the way things are that it honestly doesn’t matter if I never release new music again.

I have my mom here too, which is amazing—she’s a hugely successful party planner. Her entire life has become a whirlwind of activity and fun, and she’s so happy. I even suspect that she might have met someone new, but she’s keeping quiet about that one at the moment. I’m just so glad to have her back, to have that mother-daughter bond all over again.

“Did you hear?” Tonya continues. “Cole’s appeal was unsuccessful.”

His court case was difficult. He denied everything and fought us at every turn, but in the end he was found guilty and sentenced to a few years. He keeps trying to appeal that decision, but luckily he isn’t getting anywhere with it.

“Good,” Lola snaps angrily. “He deserves nothing!”

“Right, girls.” I turn their attention back to what’s happening. “The midwife is here. The birthing class is about to start. Let’s go!”

“Ooh, can’t wait.” Lola laughs. “What fun!”

“What did I miss?”

A hand wraps around my waist and a gentle kiss lands on my shoulder. I melt into my husband, my love, my only one. Nathan Romero. The future father of my child.

“Missed you, baby,” he tells me.

“We missed you, too,” I whisper back, putting his large hand on my swollen belly.

F
ight
.

Fuck.

Sleep.

Repeat.

Just another day in the life of River Xavier.

It is a big one tonight, too. Coach Daniels has been running me hard, making sure I am on my best game tonight. After the fucked up month I have had, I’ll be happy to let it all out in the ring. Sometimes I just need to feel the bones crunching under my fists to let it all go… And I feel like tonight might be one of those nights.

I keep thinking of her. Paige. Paige Morgan, with her mouth open and moaning some other guy’s name.

God fucking damn it, I still cannot believe it. My girlfriend of half a year, my longest relationship to date, fucking someone behind my back the whole time.

This is a fucked up situation. It was supposed to be the other way around, surely… Bad boy boxer, a total player, screwing around behind his bookish girl’s back.

But nope, the nerdy girl was the one cheating. Fuck me. I’ll never get over this.

I punch the boxing bag in front of me with gritted teeth. It’s not like I loved her. Nope, not at all. Not like I was going to put a ring on that dainty finger. Not like I’d already picked it out at Cartier.

Fucking hell.

I deal blow after blow until my knuckles feel like they’ll catch on fire. I just can’t stop myself – the rage will never simmer down. It’s boiling hot, and I need to get my feelings out somehow.

Why the hell am I still hung up on Paige? It’s been a month, and God knows I’ve made up for my lack of a girlfriend. I’ve slept around. I’ve fucked every willing girl in the state, probably.

I don’t really need to ask myself that question, though. The reason is always the same, even though the girls’ names keep on changing. Sometimes they cheat, sometimes they break up with me, sometimes I send them running. The reason never changes.

Faith.

Her name is burning on my chest, on the very spot where I’d gotten it tattooed a few years ago. That memory will burn bright forever, even when Faith won’t remember my name any more. I’m sure she’s moved on. I wish I could, too.

“Xavier! Stop that,” my coach interrupts as he walks over to me. “You trying to break those knuckles? You need to be strong for tonight’s match, man.”

“Sorry,” I mutter, finally giving the boxing bag a break. I embrace it with both hands and lean my head against it, trying to catch my breath. “You counting on me tonight, then?”

“You know it.” Daniels grins at me. “500 bucks. Getting me a hot tub if you win.”

“And what if you lose?” I grin at him. Daniels always bets on me, and even though I’ve had a winning streak, there’s always a small chance I might not prevail in the ring. And I know Daniels’ wife gets a prize every time I lose, because she hates her husband placing bets.

“She wants her mother to come visit.” Daniels grimaces. “One whole fucking month.”

“Ouch, man.” I give him an apologetic look. “I’ll do my best, then.”

“You better!” He slaps me on the back and launches into a long talk about my opponent. I’m only half-listening, my thoughts still stuck on the two women, Faith and Paige. Paige, who fucked me over, and Faith, who pushed me away. One of these fucking days, I’ll be brave enough to speak to Faith again. One of these days, I swear.

It’s not like I haven’t tried over the years, I think bitterly. I’ve texted, emailed, called, even showed up on her doorstep a few times. She would never see me, and her dad had to send me packing each time. Damn shame that is. Always knew Faith was the one for me. Too bad she hasn’t realized that just yet. But she’ll get there…

“I’ll be back for you at quarter to nine.” Daniels gives me a serious look and I nod gravely, pretending I’ve been listening all along. Really, how much could I have missed? It’s the same shit, over and over again.

Fight.

Fuck.

Sleep.

Repeat.

I sigh and get back to practicing when Daniels leaves. I’m not supposed to strain myself too much, and I make sure to follow the rules. My thoughts are somewhere else entirely, but I’m sure I’ll be ready to go as soon as I step into that ring. I have to be, otherwise I’ll get my ass beat.

Two hours pass like nothing, and soon enough, coach is back to get me. Into the ring I go.

He leads me outside of the gym, through the changing rooms. I can already hear the voices of the spectators, shouts, boos, and some people calling my name. My blood is starting to pump through my veins faster and faster, adrenaline rushing through my body. I’m going to win again, I realize. I always have these moments before the matches where I realize whether I’ll win or lose. Guess today is a good day for me.

“Make me proud, man.” Daniels claps me on the back and pushes me forward. I step outside with my hands up in the air and the crowd goes wild. I’m what you might call a public sweetheart – I know I have my fair share of fans. I also know I could fuck any one of those girls in the front row, raising their banners for me to see. We’ll see what the night brings…

I flash a grin at the fans and climb up into the ring. My opponent is one who’s beat me before, when I was just a rookie starting out. His name is The Bomb, and he holds true to that name. He doesn’t fight too rough, but when he gears up for his big attack, it’s like a bomb laying waste to his opponent’s body. Thankfully, I’ve studied him. I know his cheap tricks, his weak spots and his strengths.

I lock eyes with my opponent and I flash him a smile. He’s a hulk of a man, but then again, so am I. I’m ripped as fuck, my broad body inked to the last inch. I know I can take Bomb. I know I can beat him. I know I’m a fucking winner.

The bell clangs, signaling the start of the round, and I roar into action. Forget that ‘save the best for last’ crap. I’m going to fucking destroy this guy as fast as I can. And I bet it only takes me one round.

In moments, I have a death grip on the guy. I see the mist descended on my vision and I’m fucking ready to go. He resists, he fights back, but I’m in top form tonight. There’s no beating me, and the Bomb knows it. He’s struggling. I’m going to fucking humiliate him.

But not before I have my share of fun.

I let go and the crowd goes wild, knowing I’m playing a game of cat and mouse. I let Bomb come at me, duck away from him and tease him mercilessly. I deal a punch here, a blow there. I’ll fucking destroy him, but not before I rip his dignity to shreds.

I’m an animal. And just like a beast, I have no mercy. I have no feelings. All I want is to hurt, destroy, damage, wound. I’m in it for the win, and I’ve had enough of the game. Now, I want to taste something else… Sweet, sweet victory.

Oh, and this guy’s blood.

I beat the Bomb into the ground. It takes mere seconds, and the crowd goes wild. I’ve redeemed myself. I’ve made sure the guy will never forget who humiliated him. I’ll make sure the public remembers me as the winner and forget all about that first fight where Bomb beat me.

I’m declared the winner, my hand raised in the air. The crowd goes wild, including Daniels who barges into the ring and starts shouting some shit about his new hot tub.

Jesus fucking hell, this is why I do it. The rush. The madness. The pure, crazy adrenalin making me want to jump right now.

I catch the eye of a pretty eye with glasses. She smiles and looks away shyly.

The hot girls that come with the job… I always was a sucker for glasses.

I motion for her to come closer, and she only hesitates for a second before climbing over to me. She’s wearing Daisy Dukes, her sweet ass on perfect display for me.

“Hello, sweetheart,” I tell her with a devilish grin.

“Hi, I… I’m Candy.” She’s so shy. I’ll have fun breaking her in. By the time I’m done with her, she’ll be shouting my name and begging me to make her cum again. “Hi, River. I’m such a big fan!”

“Of course you are.” I grin at her, take her hand and place a kiss on it. She’s blushing. Fucking adorable. “How about we go celebrate, sweetheart?”

“Okay!” she nods eagerly. “Can my friends come?”

She points towards a gaggle of eager girls with wide-smiles on their faces. No more glasses, but they’re all pretty hot.

“I don’t know, Candy,” I say doubtfully. I grab her chin and make her look at me with a serious look on my face. “What are your friends like? Will they play with me, too?”

She’s blushing something fierce now.

“Oh.” She realizes what I mean, and in a second, that innocent look turns naughty. “Yes, River… I’m sure they will…”

“Good.” I grin at her and smack her ass. “I want my prize now, sweetheart. And a fair warning…”

I grab her hair and pull her head back. Her throat’s exposed to my hungry mouth now, her sweet scent filling up my nostrils. “I play harder than I fight.”

She gulps, hard.

* * *

M
y head is fucking pounding
. Oh god, I’m never drinking again.

I get up and wince at the intense pain in my temples. Fucking hell! What happened last night?

I look around, trying to gather myself. Where the hell am I? I don’t recognize this apartment. Judging by the pink cushions on the couch, I must’ve crashed at some girl’s place. I vaguely recall a chick called Candy… Could she be the one?

I look around, but the apartment is empty save for my pounding head and the rest of me. Shit, I need to get my act together. I try to get up and realize I’m stark naked. My ass is getting chilly in the cold air, too.

“Fuck,” I mutter, trying to locate my pants on the floor. I finally spot them next to a closed door, and half-crawl, half-walk over to them.

I’m in the process of pulling my jeans up when the door to the bedroom opens and a pair of long, slim legs greets me. I get up awkwardly, zipping up my pants. “Um, hi,” I mutter stupidly, looking up into a blonde girl’s eyes. “You’re not Candy.”

“I sure as hell am not,” she says with an amused grin. “I do like to think I’m quite sweet, though!”

“Fuck.” I rub my temples, trying to place the girl in my head. She does look really familiar, but I still haven’t managed to remember her. Could it be she’s one of Candy’s friends from last night? I remember she had a few girls with her… Fuck, what did I do? My last memory is of doing body shots off of Candy’s stomach. After that, I’m drawing a total blank.

“Did we…” I look up at the girl desperately and she smirks.

“As if, River.” She rolls her eyes.

“Ah!” I say with a victorious smile. “But you do know my name… So we somehow know each other.”

“Why don’t you solve that puzzle while I make some coffee, stud?” The blonde grins at me and sashays into the kitchen area of the space. She busies herself with the coffee while I groan and drop back down on the couch. I’m still shirtless, but at least my pants are on.

“Are you really gonna mess with a poor man’s head like this?” I ask her miserably. “I’d really appreciate some help.”

“You’ll figure it out,” the blonde says unhelpfully, and I nurse my head in my hands. Fuck, it really is pounding. In moments, I’m sure I’ll have the hangover from hell.

I’m about to give up when it hits me. I jump to my feet, immediately regretting my motion as it makes me sick as fuck. “Sabrina!” I say exasperatedly. “You’re Sabrina!”

“Slow clapping. Imagine it, I’m too lazy to do it,” she says, smiling at me as she brings over a cup of coffee. “Thought you’d forgotten all about me, River.”

“You’ve changed,” I offer lamely. It’s true. Those tits didn’t grow by themselves – she got implants, and her lips and nose done, too, judging by the way I remember her from high school. She was pretty back then, but now she’s too plastic for my taste.

And of course, seeing Sabrina only reminds me of one thing… I guess she can tell, too, because she’s already rolling her eyes. “Go ahead, just ask,” she says with an exasperated sigh.

“Are you still in touch with her?” I take the plunge, knowing I sound desperate as fuck. Yet I can’t help myself. I’ve never quite been able to when it came to Faith.

Sabrina gives me a long, patronizing look. If I didn’t know myself better, I could swear I blush as she scrutinizes me. She’s still staring into my soul when I hear the click of a door and an all-too familiar voice say my name.

“Good morning, River.”

Fuck me.

I whip my head back and there she is, in all her glory. Faith Collins, the be–all, end-all of all the women I’ve ever liked, loved, fucked or kissed. Not that I’ve done all of that with her… Just a few things.

She’s stunning. And I’m not just fucking saying that, she’s an absolute fucking vision. Long brown hair, bright eyes, tall and willowy. Her face is just as freckled as it used to be, and it’s the perfect combination of sexiness and that girl-next-door vibe Faith has always had. She’s just… stunning.

“Faith,” I manage to get out. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Her eyebrows go up a notch in amusement and she stares me down. Her eyes linger on her name tattooed across my chest just a fraction of a second too long, and I can tell she’s remembering the night I got it.

She’s leaning on the doorframe, her arms protectively crossed in front of her body. She’s wearing this silk robe that looks like liquid against her tanned skin, and I want to feel her, touch her so badly it aches.