REBEL: #4.5 The Beat and The Pulse (6 page)

“Depends on your motives.”

He didn’t know what I was really doing. He didn’t know that I was trying to crack The Underground. He just thought I was walking on the wild side.
Good
. I could protect him from the fall out when it was time to take them down. The less he knew the better.

“I have no motives.” The lie slipped easily off my tongue, and I had to stop myself from flinching. Five seconds with this man and a night of unbelievable sex had me emotionally invested. Fuck it all to hell and back.

Rebel’s expression softened slightly, and he stepped toward me, pressing me back against the wall. “Good.” he said, dipping his face toward mine. “Fuckin’ good.”

The tension bled from my body as we kissed, the argument already beginning to fade. But at the back of my mind, my inbuilt cop conscience was trying to get my attention. If they found out what I was really doing at The Underground, I’d end up in a ditch with a bullet in my head.

Ironically, that didn’t seem to bother me as much as the fact that I’d lose Rebel if he found out the truth. He’d drop me like a stone if he knew, and I didn’t think I could handle it if he did. Falling hard and fast for a man never seemed a realistic occurrence, at least not until now.

Of all the unlikely places in the world to find a man I could fall in love with, I never thought it would be at The Underground.

Big trouble had nothing on it.

I
’d had
a lot of women. I’d fucked them all kinds of ways. Usually, I’d kick them out straight after, but Charlie…Charlie was different.

Something clicked physically with her, something that had never happened with anyone else, and for a guy like me, that shattered everything I understood about the opposite sex. About relationships and motherfuckin’ love. Could I fall in love? The idea sounded stupid.

I didn’t know if Charlie was the one, but it was the first time I’d wanted to try. I still wanted to even after finding out she’d been keeping a huge secret…she was a cop. A fucking
cop
. I slammed my locker closed, trying to filter out the noise of The Underground.

Trouble. She was nothing but trouble, and I still wanted her. If Max and the others found out, my big break would be shot. They’d take Charlie and make an example outta her, and it didn’t matter one iota that she wasn’t investigating. She was one of
them
.

She had to stay away from this place, and when I’d told her this morning, she didn’t look pleased. Charlie was tough as nails. Probably had to be to be a cop. I could spend my life with a woman like that.

Sitting on the bench, I tried to focus myself for tonight’s fight. I had a real shot at making it big if I just held on. I could be a man she deserved, a good guy on the right side of the law. Just had to keep fighting for a few more weeks, and then I’d cut and run.

“Hey.”

I glanced up at the sound of Charlie’s voice and swallowed hard. Anger and annoyance began to burn at the edges of my control at the sight of her here. The place where she could get into big trouble. The place that could get her dead. I was fuckin’ glad to see her but not so happy about it being here.

“You’re a bold little thing,” I drawled.

She shrugged. “Couldn’t help myself.”

I raised an eyebrow and began wrapping my hand. Charlie pushed off the wall and came to sit beside me, her leg pressing against mine. I could feel the warmth radiating from her into me, and I glanced at her crotch, thinking about what I’d done to her right there…

“You’re thinking dirty thoughts,” she said with a hint of amusement.

“I’m a man. Everything I think is dirty.”

She snorted. “How does that work?” She ran her fingers over my hand as I wound the material around my knuckles.

“Like a fuckin’ mummy,” I retorted. “Stops your knuckles from getting busted up.”

“Rebel…” she began, and I could hear that tone in her voice. The one that said she was about to tell me off for being a smart bastard. Well, I’d warned her about coming back here. I’d drawn attention to her, and if I could find out that she was a motherfuckin’ detective, then it wouldn’t be a stretch for others.

“You here to arrest me?” I asked, cutting her off.

“I could arrest you for a lot of things.”

“Yeah, like what?” I stared at my hands because if I looked at her, I’d just want to kiss her face off and then take her out back and fuck her stupid.

“Illegal gambling.”

“I haven’t bet once…unlike you.”

Her hands tightened in her lap. “Illegal appropriation of funds.”

I looked up at her this time, my lip curling. “That’s a thing?”

“Rebel. This isn’t funny.”

I caught her gaze with mine, so she got what I was about to say. “If you were going to arrest me, Sweet Lips, you would’ve done it before you let me fuck you.”

“
Sweet Lips?
”

“They are pretty fuckin’ sweet.” I raised my hand and ran my fingertips over them.

“Rebel…”

“You’re in this now,” I said. “They know your face. If you insist on coming here, you have to be able to play the game.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“I can’t protect you from everything,” I went on. “If I drop out, there are plenty of other guys to take my place. I’m just as disposable as you are.”

She tilted her head to the side, her blue eyes flashing with curiosity. “How do you know so much about this stuff?”

“You’re the cop,” I said, running a fingertip across her lips again. “Look me up.”

Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but she closed them again.

“If you still want to be in this,” I said, making myself as clear as fucking crystal, “then look me up in your database. There’s somethin’ here and I won’t go on while there are more secrets.”

“I don’t even know your real name.” She stared at me with wide eyes.

She was right. We didn’t even know each other, so what were these feelings based on? Physical attraction. A single, hot night of fucking didn’t make a relationship.

Did she really feel something for me? Maybe, it was hard to tell. If I told her my name, it would be an epic test of faith. She was the cop and I was the criminal. Didn’t matter that I was trying to get out. I still had the rap sheet, and that’s all that mattered to most people. In a perfect world, she’d be able to look past all the mistakes and see me for the man I was now. I hoped our world was perfect because I wanted her to be in it. I didn’t care that we’d met under false pretenses.

“Kane Sturgess,” I said, balling my hands into tight fists. “My name is Kane Sturgess.”

I stood sharply, hardly believing I’d already placed everything on the line. I’d had her for one night, and because I was an honest asshole, I might not get to have her again. All of her, not just her body. Her smart mouth, her stubborn pride…

“Rebel—”

I held up my hand to stop her. I couldn’t touch her, I couldn’t talk to her, I couldn’t anything until she knew because I wanted her more than one time. If she wanted to explore this thing between us, it had to be all or nothing.

“I’ve got a fight,” I snapped. “Just fuckin’ look.”

Without another word, I strode from the room and out into the cage, wondering if I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life.

I
didn’t stay
for Rebel’s fight that night.

I gathered he didn’t want me to considering he’d just left me sitting there like a lump.

Names held great power. To the law and to the underworld. He’d known exactly what he was doing the moment he’d told me his. He had a past, everyone did, but from his reaction, I knew his was big—so big that he thought I’d cut him loose after learning what it was.

There was no way I was sleeping after being dumped with the mother of all ultimatums, so I went into the station straight from The Underground. It was obvious Kane Sturgess had a record, but what was on it? All kinds of scenarios played out in my mind as I made my way through the station, passing the on duty uniforms at the front desk in a daze, walking through the halls and upstairs to my desk.

He’d made it sound like he’d done something really bad—something unforgivable. At least something he felt ashamed about.

Frommer was sitting at his desk and glanced up when I came in. The room dark, apart from the floor lamp behind him and the glow from his computer monitor.

“What are you doing here?” he asked like I was up to no good. I kinda was, actually.

“I’ve got a lead I want to chase up,” I said, dismissing him with a wave.

“No hot date?” he asked with a smirk.

“Fuck off, Frommer,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’re just sore you pulled night shift this week, and I’m here anyway.”

He grunted and turned back to his work, thankfully leaving me alone to make my discovery.

Waking up my computer from sleep mode, I pulled up the criminal database and typed ‘Kane Sturgess’ into the search field. Leaning back in my chair, I waited for the system to load up the results. My heart stopped for a beat as it pinged with one result. One single, lonely result.

Clicking on the file, I instantly recognized the mug shot as a younger, rougher looking Rebel. Glancing at the profile, I could see that he was less muscular, unhealthy, tired, and ultimately beaten. He looked just like any other street thug that I’d arrested in my time on the beat. Drawn to a life of crime because they either didn’t know any better, didn’t have any other option, or just for the simple reason
because they could
.

My cop sense told me there was much more to this story, so I delved deeper, learning about the man who’d already stolen a piece of my heart.

His parents had died in a head-on collision with a semitrailer on the Hume Highway. The driver had been taking pills to stay awake, overtired and overworked from too many back-to-back long haul trips between Melbourne and Sydney. Six-year-old Kane had been thrown clear from the car and was the sole survivor.

Hell
.

That was one of the worst parts about being a cop. Attending road fatalities. Innocent families dying in their cars on their way to work, school, or even holidays. The parents die, leaving their kids behind. I loved my job, but it was also heartbreaking. Absolutely shattering.

With no living relatives that were able to take him in, Rebel had been put into foster care. He’d been just old enough to remember his parents and to understand what was happening to him. He’d gone from a loving, regular family to being shoved into the system. He’d spent the most important years of his life, the years that shaped us all into the adults we became, in the hands of seven different families…all of them bad. He’d been left unsupervised in one, abandoned in another, abused in two more… He’d been angry and hurt and forced into shit.

He’d been arrested for petty theft, shoplifting, criminal damage, car theft, and assault. There was a six month stint in juvenile detention for aggravated assault. I could understand why he’d done these things, but it didn’t quite add up. The man on my screen didn’t match the man I’d met. At some point, he’d decided to try to change his life.

Scrolling to the last record, I saw that it was three years ago. He’d been clean since then. Not even a blip.

I didn’t have to be a genius to understand that he thought I’d leave him once I knew the truth about his past. A cop and a criminal. But what he didn’t realize was that I could understand where he was coming from. I got it because I worked with these people—from the crooks that didn’t want to change all the way to the men and women who were reformed and on the straight and narrow. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was just a victim of circumstance.

He wanted to change.

Exiting out of the database, I closed down the computer and gathered my things. Frommer glanced at me, a curious look on his face, but I didn’t have time for him.

Glancing at my watch, I wondered if it was too late to go back to The Underground. It was pushing three in the morning, and I knew he’d already be home or wherever. Hopefully sleeping…
alone
.

At the thought of him trying his luck with another woman in my absence, I felt jealousy pool in my gut. I guess his past didn’t bother me at all. Regardless, I’d already made my decision.

I wanted Kane ‘Rebel’ Sturgess for the man he was now and for the man he was trying to be. I’d be a fool to walk away from my first real chance at love.

Leaving the station and getting into my car, I decided that I had to do this now.

Double or nothing.

P
art
of my job was remembering stuff. Like where the guy who’d blown my mind lived.

Knocking on the door, all I could do was wait and see if Rebel was home. No backing out now. Fuck, I hoped he was home.

There was a dull thud from inside, followed by footsteps down the hall. The door was flung open and a half-naked Rebel stood before me in all his glory. I really liked his tight black boxers. They hung off his hips, pushed down while he was asleep, and his dick was accented against the material...

“Hey.” I leaned against the doorjamb, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Charlie?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eye with the palm of his hand. He stood there, staring at me like he thought I was already long gone.

“You gunna let me in?”

He stared at me for a full minute before moving back and opening the door wide. I pushed off the jamb and stepped around him into the dark apartment.

“I did what you asked,” I said, turning to face him as he closed the door and followed me in.

His eyes narrowed. “And?”

“I know everything.”

“All the gory details,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I can see you’re trying to change,” I murmured. “The guy I see now is not the one in that file. I know what it’s like out—”

“You don’t know what it’s like out there,” he exclaimed, suddenly becoming animated.

“I do,” I snapped. “I see it every fucking day out there on the streets. I fight it. I see the horrible things left behind by violence.”

“You see them from your privileged position. From your high and mighty point of authority. You've never
lived it
, Charlie.”

“Why are you trying to push me away?” I cried. “I’ve seen some fucked up shit out there, Rebel. Fucked up shit. Domestic violence, assault, rape…murder. I’ve seen the shit things people do to others first hand and you’re saying that I can’t understand?”

His eyes blazed as his shoulders heaved. He was absolutely enraged. Not at me but himself.

“I’ve been shot at, hit, knifed…” I trailed off. “I might not be a criminal, but I live alongside it every day. Serve and protect.”

“From people like me.”

“No.” I shook my head. “Serve and protect…
everyone
.”

Rebel just stood there, frozen like a fucking lump. I realized that deep down he didn’t think he deserved this…
us
. He blamed himself for his parent’s death.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. “It wasn’t your fault they died, Kane.”

“Don’t.” His voice was thin…strained.

“I want you. I still want you.”

He sucked in a deep breath, his gaze fixed on mine. “I’m trying to get out,” he said. “I want to start over.”

I nodded.

“I need the money.”

“That’s why you’re fighting?”

“Nobody wants to hire a fuck-up like me. This is the only way.”

I stepped closer, desperate to touch him. “You don’t have to explain it to me.”

“I do…” His entire body was coiled, ready to pounce, but I wasn’t sure in which direction.

“I wanted you before, and I want you now,” I said. “Nothing has changed. I’m in as long as you are.”

“You want…” He sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“I think this is worth hanging onto and seeing where it goes, don’t you?”

Rebel tilted his head to the side, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “The Underground?”

I still hadn’t decided what to do about that. Maybe I should drop the investigation, at least until Rebel got what he needed. I could let him get clear of the place before it was brought down. Now that I knew his story…it seemed like the thing to do. I’d have to think about that, but right now, I just wanted to reassure Rebel that I was in it with him.

“I’ll play the game.”

“But—”

“I want to see you fight,” I said through a sigh. “It’s who you are, and it’s fucking
hot
.”

“
Charlie
.” Rebel’s eyes blazed and he struck.

Pressing me back against the wall, he buried his hands into my hair, his body grinding against mine. Our tongues clashed hungrily, kissing the anger and despair from one another, as our hands groped for flesh, desperately peeling clothes away from skin.

This was what I felt for this man. Despite coming from different walks of life, me with my protect and serve and him with his eat or get eaten mentality, I felt something that was uncontrollable. He devoured me. Risking my life in the very place that could save his seemed the least I could do if I wanted to stay by his side.

Lifting me up into his arms, I clamped my legs around his waist, and he entered me, pinning my body against the wall. He thrust hard, over and over, and all that was left was pleasure.

Pleasure and a promise. We were in this together.