Ready To Love Again (6 page)

Liz smiled and nodded before wiping at her nose. Chase smoothed down her damp hair, then stood to pull back the covers. He laid her between the sheets, drawing them up to her chin.

“I’m sorry about the other night,” she whispered.

Chase ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead.

“I know, baby. But don’t ever think that I don’t miss your mother.”

She nodded, and a sound between a sob and hiccup came from her lips. Chase enfolded her in his arms again and held her until her tears stopped. After Terri’s death, he hadn’t known what to do when Liz broke down. He later learned that she just needed him to be there for her, to let her cry and not try to fix everything.

“I love you, pumpkin.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”

Chase tucked her back into bed and made his way downstairs, shutting off lights as he went. Grabbing a beer, he decided to finish the paperwork he’d been putting off for days. When he reached his office, he plunked down in his chair and flipped on the radio, taking a long drink from his bottle. The husky voice of Tony Bennett made him pause, then set down his beer. The song reminded Chase of a day thirteen years before in a small reception hall filled with family and friends. 

“Chase? What are you doing?” Terri laughed when he pulled her to the middle of the dance floor.

He signaled to his best man, and Carlos strolled to the piano and played the opening notes to “The Way You Look Tonight.” Chase took Terri’s hands in his and smiled at her bemused expression.
 

“I’m going to serenade my beautiful bride.”

Needing air, Chase shot out of his chair, almost knocking it over in his haste. He moved to the French doors and wrenched them open, walking onto the deck that overlooked the Pacific Ocean. His hands gripped the wooden railing while he sucked in the misty sea air, trying to calm the panic that threatened to overwhelm him. It had been months since he had one of his panic attacks, so he forced his mind to stay calm and took long, steady breaths until it receded.

Night fell over the landscape, casting shadows across the beach. The moon set a glowing road across the water, lighting a path as far as he could see. A cool breeze coming off the ocean sent a small shiver through him, but he ignored it. Chase sank down onto the lounge chair and raked his fingers through his hair.

Would it always be like this? Would he have to live with this grief for the rest of his life?

Chapter 4

I really don’t want to get out
.

Katie shut off the warm stream of water. The small moment of peace and quiet she’d experienced while indulging in a hot shower would end the minute she stepped out of the steam-filled room and Shawn reminded her,
yet again
, what the day would bring. The cooler air caused goose bumps to form when she moved the shower curtain and left her sanctuary. She grabbed the oversized towel and shivered while she wrapped it around herself.

She heard Shawn outside the bathroom door.
 

“Sandy! Where are you?”

What on earth could he be up to? Who the heck is Sandy?

“Sandy?” he called again. “I have to find you before Buddy does, you big stupid head.”

Katie snorted at Shawn’s obvious frustration. Since they lived in a rural area, there were all sorts of critters Katie hoped would stay hidden. No such luck when she had a child who was obsessed with anything that crept, crawled, or slithered.

She dried off, then hung her towel back on the rack. Grabbing her underwear, she slipped them on before latching her bra. When she turned to grab her shirt, she was greeted with her worst nightmare in the large opening between the floor and the bathroom door, and she froze. Slithering under the door, like it knew where it would cause the most havoc, was a small, brown snake. With a curse, Katie jumped on top of the toilet lid and ranted at herself for renting an old house with two-inch gaps under all the interior doors.

“Shawn!” Katie screamed, feeling her anxiety spike.

The snake made its way farther into the bathroom. She tried to shoo it out by squeaking and flapping her arms, but it crept closer to her safe haven while she danced on the toilet.

“Shaaawwwnnn!”

“I’m looking for Sandy, Mom.”

“Sandy’s in here!” she said, hoping her nine-year-old moved his little fanny fast.

Her pajama-clad son burst through the door as Sandy reached the base of the toilet. Shawn’s stunned expression would have been comical under any other circumstances. However, Katie couldn’t find anything funny about the current situation. All she could do was point at the offending reptile.

“Get it out of here!” Katie shrieked. Her frantic plea had the desired effect, and Shawn snapped out of his shocked stupor. He scooped up his temporarily adopted pet and disappeared out the bathroom door.

Katie sank down onto the toilet lid and took a shuddering breath.

Once the adrenaline began to ebb, she finished dressing with lightning speed, then poked her head out the door to be sure there weren’t any more surprises waiting for her. Although she could handle anything that lived beneath the sea, if it slithered across the land, she turned into an overwrought bundle of nerves.

Katie scanned the floor while she darted to the kitchen. When she moved to the window above the sink, she saw Shawn holding the menace only a few inches from his face. He carried on a conversation with it as if it were his best friend, making Katie shudder once more. Tapping on the window to get Shawn’s attention, she motioned for him to leave the snake outside and come in the house.

Shawn approached the French doors, and Katie crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look as threatening as possible. When he saw her stance, he lowered his eyes and moved closer.

“Why on earth would you bring a snake in the house?”

He flinched at her tone and looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes, obviously trying to charm his way out of trouble. “It was just a garter snake, Mom. Dad said they aren’t poisonous.”

“I don’t care if they’re poisonous or not.” She thought about that comment for a split second before she backtracked. “Well . . . yes I do, but that’s beside the point. Why did you bring it in the house?”

He shrugged and looked down at his feet. “I dunno. It was just really interesting.”

Katie sighed as the innocence of his words sank in
.
She didn’t want him to think he couldn’t be interested in wildlife. Then again, she didn’t want a repeat of the snake incident, so she pulled his chin up until he looked into her eyes.

“No more snakes in the house. I’m good with the frogs and the lizards, but I draw the line at snakes.” Shawn nodded. “Good. Now get dressed for tryouts.”

He scurried back into his room, and she started breakfast. When she called out to let him know his food was on the table, he ran in with a grin on his face and slid into his seat.

“Yum, pancakes and bacon.” Shawn smiled up at her as he dug in.

Katie sat down next to him while he shoveled his breakfast into his mouth like a human garbage disposal. At the rate he was going, she was going to have to take a second job by the time he was a teenager just to feed him.

“So are you excited about tryouts?” she asked.

His face lit up, and he nodded. “Yep! I can’t wait to be on a team. Tony said his dad is going to try to get us on the same team. His dad’s a coach, and Tony says they won All-Stars last year.” Shawn’s spoon stopped midway to his mouth, and he looked as though he’d remembered something important.

“What?”

“I need a baseball glove,” he said with a quiver in his voice.

She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought about buying him a glove before that moment. Although she didn’t know a lot about the sport, she did know a glove was an important component in baseball. Glancing at the clock on the microwave, she realized they didn’t have time before tryouts to stop at the sporting goods store.

“We’ll have to get it after tryouts. Maybe you could borrow Tony’s?”

A relieved sigh escaped Shawn’s small body, and he nodded. “Yeah, Tony will share. We’re going to need some balls and a Thunderstick, too.”

“What’s a Thunderstick?”

Shawn shrugged. “I dunno. Tony said it helps you bat.”

“Let’s just get a glove and some balls until we talk to your coach, okay?”

He nodded and grinned. Katie loved to see him excited about something. Since the divorce, the only things Shawn had been interested in were creepy crawlies and trouble. Maybe redirecting his energy would be a good thing. Now she needed to figure out how she would make her schedule work around baseball.

~*~

Chase woke to the sound of his bedroom door creaking open. He kept his eyes closed, hoping the intruder would let him have a few more minutes of sleep. Doctors’ hours could be hard on a single parent.

He knew it was Tony by the way his feet slapped against the floor. Chase tightened his stomach muscles in anticipation of the attack that always came on Saturday mornings. He’d been caught unaware one too many times in the past. Tony bounded on the bed and plopped down on Chase’s stomach. When he didn’t get a reaction, he took Chase’s shoulders in both hands and shook.

“Dad. It’s time to get up.”

Chase pretended to sleep, hoping Tony would give up and let him pass out for a few more hours. He wasn’t so lucky.

“
Da-ad
, it’s Saturday.” Chase heard the disappointment in his whine, so he cracked one eye open and was startled to see his son’s face inches from his own.

“I knew you were awake,” Tony exclaimed as his small fingers pried open Chase’s other eye.
 

Chase grabbed his son’s wrists in one hand and tickled his ribs with the other. “Do you know what happens when little boys wake up their grumpy dads?”

Tony laughed harder when the tickling sped up. “S-stop, Da-dd-dy.” His giggles turned into full-out snorts.

“You’re too funny, Tony,” Chase said with a smile and shook his head at the sounds coming out of his boy. He’d accepted a long time ago that Tony gave him the strength to keep going on the days when he wanted to give up. Tony loved without ever wanting anything in return and provided the example Chase needed to cope with Liz and her outbursts.

His son climbed under the covers and reached for the remote control on the nightstand, handing it to him. “It’s your turn to pick,” Tony said before he fluffed the pillows under his head.

Saturday morning was their father-son bonding time over cartoons. They’d started the ritual when Terri died. For a while, Liz had joined them, but recently she’d decided she was too old for cartoons. Chase flipped on the television and scanned through the options until he came across Tony’s favorite—
SpongeBob
.

Tony sang along when the intro came onto the screen. Chase rolled his eyes. What had happened to the classics like
Tom and Jerry
,
Scooby-Doo
, and
The Road Runner
?

His bedroom door opened, and Liz’s head poked in. She gave him an awkward smile when he motioned for her to join them. Tiptoeing in as if she didn’t want to interrupt, she stopped halfway to the bed. Chase hated to see her hesitation.

“Come here, sweetheart.” He held his arms out for her, and she scurried over. With a quick hop, she squeezed into the small space at her father’s side and laid her head on his shoulder.

They spent most of the morning in bed watching cartoons and enjoying each other’s company. Afterward, Tony, Liz, and Chase packed up the baseball gear and drove to the field.

It was the third year Chase had coached for the Carmel Youth Baseball League, so he felt confident in his abilities. It helped that he had Daniel, who was not only a restaurant entrepreneur but also a retired third baseman for San Francisco, as his assistant coach. When he wasn’t building his restaurant empire, Daniel spent most of his time surfing or volunteering with the youth programs around town. Chase always asked him why he wasn’t the coach since he was more qualified than anyone else, but his reply was always the same:
“I’m great with teenage kids, but the pygmies would eat me alive!”
 

Daniel wasn’t joking. After the novelty of being coached by a pro baseball player wore off, the kids soon realized he was a big pushover. At least when he and Gina finally had kids they’d have a mother who was a seasoned drill sergeant.
 

All in all, Chase and Daniel made a good team. They got along like brothers and had the same philosophy when it came to kids’ sports. Sometimes Daniel’s competitive nature came out and Chase had to reel him back in, but they worked together to instill dedication and team unity in the boys.

Gina pulled into the parking lot at the field as Chase got out of the car and began to unload the gear. He’d arrived early in hopes that he could get the most desirable assignment, which was to evaluate the boys who wanted to pitch.

All the coaches participated in assessing the skills of the children trying out. They were to give an overall score in each category—batting, catching, throwing, and experience. This ensured that all the coaches would know where each boy’s skills stood, even if they hadn’t seen the child’s performance. The system was far from perfect, and some coaches tried to cheat. They’d give lower scores to children they had their eye on to throw the other coaches off the trail. It was all a part of the process, and they had to be good at picking talent without relying on the skewed numbers. That was why Chase always wanted to be in the pitching area.