Raspberry Kisses (The Bakery Romance Series Book 1) (28 page)

“Is that when you started thinking about becoming a pastor?”

“Yes. The idea occurred to me, but I never felt good enough because of all the mistakes I’d made. My father always seemed so…so…good, and I never imagined he’d made the mistakes that I’d made. So I didn’t do anything to pursue this dream until my father’s church needed somebody to fill in for a few Sundays.”

“Did you return to school after you were baptized?”

“Yes. I transferred to a Christian college to finish my undergraduate degree. I found out through some mutual friends in my fraternity that Serena had returned to school, but I didn’t feel strong enough to face her again.”

“Did she ever forgive you?”

“She never spoke to me again. I’m only hoping that she forgave me eventually.”

He sighed, wiping his tears away. “After my son’s death, that was my wake-up call.” He paused for a few seconds, and she squeezed his hand, silently giving him comfort before he continued. “Because of the turmoil going on in my father’s church caused by Linda Tucker, I’ve been wondering if the Lord’s been telling me that I’m still not good enough to lead my father’s church. My doubts about being a pastor have come back to haunt me, and I’m unsure about what the Lord wants me to do.” He told her about Michael Tucker’s moving sermon earlier that week, and about Pastor Frank’s endorsement. “The congregation loves him, and there was a holy, uplifting mood in the church after he preached. The members will soon vote on whom they want to lead their church.”

“You’d said the vote is up sometime in August, right?”

“Yes, in a few weeks. Michael has to preach a few more sermons just to be sure he can do a good job on a regular basis.”

“I’m sorry, Martin.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m still not sure if the Lord wants me to be the pastor of Holy Grace Community Church.” He took a deep breath. “Before Trina signed me up as a speaker for the singles retreat, I knew I didn’t want to be involved with anybody.” He sighed, still holding her hand. “But, since I’ve met you, one thing I am sure about is my deep feelings for you. I didn’t want to initially admit it to myself and to others, but I’ve come to realize that I can’t ignore my feelings for you.” He touched her cheek. “You’re special to me. Do you realize my two fiancées didn’t know about my son? My parents and family don’t even know.”

He’d never shared this anyone? He trusted her! His love must be strong if he told her about his son. “Martin…I don’t know what to say. I’m so touched that you shared this with me.”

“Honey, I’ve kept this secret in me for years. The only other person who knows is Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse urged me to tell you the truth about everything so that there are no secrets between us.” He paused for a few seconds. “Have I been imagining things over the last several weeks? Do you not have strong feelings for me? Because if I misinterpreted anything you may have felt, then you can set me straight now and I’ll go away and never bother you again.”

The thought of never seeing Martin again made her think of being caught in a vicious dark hole with no light or joy. He continued to hold her hand as she found the courage to tell him how she felt. “I do have strong feelings for you, Martin. You weren’t imagining anything.” Her voice sounded hoarse, so she sipped her tea, hoping the hot sweet liquid would soothe her raw throat. She brought her emotions under control, not wanting to cry in front of him. Silence surrounded them again, as she chewed her lower lip, trying to gather her scattered thoughts.

He looked into her eyes. “I went to Raven’s house earlier this week. Did she tell you that?”

Her mouth dropped open. “My goodness, no!” She continued to stare at him. “She visited my bakery yesterday. We talked about a lot of stuff.” She told him all about Raven’s visit and about her dating Adam. “What did you say to her?”

“It’s not important what I told her. I’m just glad she visited you and that you two are speaking again. I was upset that our dinner date caused a rift in your relationship with your sister.”

“Well, I think the conversation we had yesterday was a start in improving our relationship.”

“Yes, it’s a start.”

“Martin, I’m sorry about what I said in the park. When I’m with you, I’m so happy that it scares me.”

“Baby, you have no reason to be scared.”

“Yes, I do. If things work out the way you want them, then you’ll be a preacher and your life will belong to the church. Your wife and family will always play second fiddle to your congregation.” She thought of something else. “I like how you minister to the homeless, but, I worry. Will you be going out into those bad neighborhoods like Stan did, ministering to the poor and needy?” She couldn’t help the note of sarcasm that had suddenly dripped into her voice.

“Honey, if that’s what I have to do, then I’ll do it.”

“What if you get shot?” Her voice caught, and she struggled to keep her emotions under control.

“Rhea…” He dropped her hand and was soon sitting beside her, holding her. She found such comfort in his arms. How would she deal if Martin found a fate similar to Stan’s? “If we work through…well if we are ever able to work through all of this, I promise I’ll try to never neglect my wife and family.”

She remained silent and closed her eyes, still relishing the feeling of being held by Martin. His deep voice lulled her, making her want to listen to him for a long time.

“Rhea, how deep is your faith? Honey, you need to hand this whole thing over to God. If things are right with God, then everything will fall into place.”

She looked into his dark eyes, and they shimmered with warmth as he gazed at her. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” she murmured.

Martin, I love you so much that it hurts.

“Keep your faith in God, Rhea. I love you, and I want to be with you, but I can’t do that if you can’t accept my profession.” He released her, and she thought about his words. “Did you need a few weeks to think about it?”

She mutely nodded. He pulled out his wallet. “Here’s the money for the cupcakes.”

He placed the cash in her hand. He started to walk away, but he stopped and returned to the table. “I’m leaving everything up to you. I want to invite you to my graduation from divinity school.” He mentioned the time and place of the ceremony.

“Your graduation is during the summer?”

He nodded. “The school that I attend holds a separate graduation ceremony for those who finish their degrees after the summer session ends.” He kissed her cheek before leaving.

Rhea watched his retreating back as he entered the throngs of people in the mall. Soon she could no longer see Martin. She didn’t know how long she sat at the table, thinking about their exchange, clutching his money. As she got up to leave, she noticed that Martin never ate his donuts or drank his coffee.

Chapter Twenty-seven

              Rhea entered the crowded reception hall, silently cringing. It’d been one week since she’d spoken with Martin and he dominated her mind so much that she could barely function. She’d burned a tray of cookies, forgetting to set her oven timer. She’d then glazed the same tray of donuts – twice. She’d had to toss the treats because they were too sweet with the double glaze. Candy had practically banished her from the bakery kitchen, asking why Rhea’s head was in the clouds.

              When she’d pulled her Bible from the shelf, about to do some reading, the culinary convention ticket had fallen out. Martin had given this to her awhile back, and she’d barely given the event much thought. She’d looked on the back of the ticket, spotting the hotel information written in Martin’s distinctive script. She’d figured that this was what she needed – a few days away, socializing with other food professionals.

              This was the first day of the event, and breakfast was being served. Scents of bacon and toasted bread filled the air, making her mouth water. She scanned the crowd, spotting a small table in the corner with an empty seat. She’d overslept that morning and had rushed to make it here on time. She walked over to the table, smiled at the handsome, brown-skinned man and the attractive woman occupying the table. “Is anybody sitting here?”

              The man returned her grin, stood up, pulled her seat out. “Yes, you are now.” His dark eyes twinkled as she sat. A waiter approached, placing a plate of food in front of her. Rhea eyed the fluffy scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. A plate of sweet breads rested in the middle of the table. She bowed her head, said a short prayer over her meal. She was about to lift her fork when the man occupying her table offered his hand. “I’m Sterling Richards.” She shook his hand.

              “I’m Rhea Morrison.”

              She glanced at the light-skinned, attractive young woman seated at the table. The woman offered her hand. “I’m Toni Brown. I own a bakery not far from here.”

              “Nice to meet you.” Rhea shook Toni’s hand before digging into her food.

Sterling sipped from his coffee cup. “I help run a bakery in Florida. My dad thought it’d be a good idea for me to go to this convention.”

              “Oh?” Rhea paused before taking a bite of her eggs. “Do you own the bakery with your dad?”

              “Yes, I do.”

              “Do any other family members help with the business?”

              He frowned, sprinkling salt and pepper on his eggs. “No, it’s just me and my dad. My mom passed years ago, and my twin brothers aren’t interested in baking.”

              Rhea put her fork down. “You have twin brothers?”

              He nodded.

              “Are they identical?”

              “Yes. People have a hard time telling them apart.”

              She opened her mouth, about to reveal she was an identical twin, but, she mentally sighed, not really wanting to speak about Raven right now.

              What would it be like to own a business with a family member? If she’d tried to own a business with Raven, she knew it would fail in no time. No way could she work with her sister. She could imagine Raven not wanting to be around the pastries and donuts, not wanting to be tempted into eating them and ruining her slim figure. They’d probably argue, and Raven would complain. No, there was no way that was going to happen.

But, what would it be like to have a daughter, working beside her? What would happen if her and Martin got past their differences, got married and had a family? She blinked, sudden tears coming to her eyes.

              She glanced at Sterling, caught him staring at her. He shrugged. “Sorry for staring. You looked like you were upset about something.”

              Toni nodded, reaching for the plate of rolls in the middle of the table. “You looked like you were going to cry.”

              Cry? She’d done enough crying since her conversation with Martin. She needed to get him off of her mind for a while. The guest speaker approached the podium, so, Rhea focused on him during the rest of the meal, tried to listen to what he had to say about working in the food industry.

              The faint rustle of paper caught her attention. She glanced over at Toni, who was opening a huge bar of gourmet chocolate. Toni broke off a piece, shoved it into her mouth, before silently offering some to Rhea.

              Rhea nodded, while Toni gave her a piece of the candy. Rhea placed it into her mouth, her tongue exploding with decadent chocolate flavor. Her eyes widened, and Toni smiled, giving her another piece.

              After the guest speaker was finished with his speech, she attended the first continuing session. Surprisingly, Sterling and Toni had signed up for the same session and they’d ended up sitting next to one another. After the session was over, Toni and Rhea sat in one of the lounges to chat since it was break time. Sterling came along, but declined to sit with them. “I’ve got to return a phone call.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m also getting a Coke. Did either of you want anything?”

              Toni shook her head. “Nothing for me, thanks.”

              “No, I’m fine. But, thanks for offering.”

              After he’d gone, Toni smiled at Rhea. “I think he likes you.”

              “What? Why would you say that?” The idea of Sterling liking her was just plain ludicrous! They’d just met that morning and had not had much of a conversation. They didn’t even know each other!

              “Well…maybe
like
isn’t the right word. I think he’s attracted to you.”

              Rhea shook her head. “I doubt that. You’re probably just imagining things.”

              “Nope. I’m not imagining anything. He kept staring at you during breakfast and the opening session. He also kept looking at you during the first workshop.” She pulled the huge bar of chocolate from her purse and unwrapped it.

              Rhea pushed the ludicrous idea of Sterling’s attraction from her mind, focusing on Toni’s chocolate. “Where did you get that chocolate? I’ve never tasted such decadent cocoa flavor.”

              Toni gave Rhea another square before breaking off a piece for herself. “I order it online. I can’t seem to find it at the stores around here.” She shrugged. “I’m a chocoholic.”

              Chuckling, Rhea bit into the chocolate. “That sounds funny.”

              “But, I’m not trying to be funny. It’s true. I eat chocolate every day.”

              Rhea finished her square of chocolate, resisting the urge to lick the cocoa residue on her fingers. “Are you serious? You eat chocolate
every
day?”

              “Yes. In my bakery, I specialize in chocolate desserts. I make other flavors, but, chocolate’s my most popular flavor, and I believe I’ve tasted just about every kind of chocolate in the world.”

              “Really?” Rhea had never heard of anyone being so addicted to chocolate.

              Toni then started naming types and kinds of chocolate that were her favorites. As she recited brand names, types, and flavors, Rhea’s mouth watered.

              As they made their way to the next session, Toni continued telling about her fascination with chocolate. “I’ve created some great chocolate cake recipes. Maybe you can try some one day.”

              Curious about Toni’s baking, Rhea knew she wanted to sample Toni’s chocolate treats some time.

              Over the next three days, Rhea struggled to get all of the education that she could out of the culinary conference. She really paid close attention to the workshops about customer service. She’d worked so hard to get a good, solid customer base that she wanted to be sure that her clients continued coming to her bakery.

              She spent a fair amount of time with Sterling and Toni during the entire conference, sitting beside them, finding out more about how they ran their businesses. They always found one another during the dinner sessions and afterwards, they’d sit in the lounge, sipping sodas and talking about their businesses.

Toni always had a bar of decadent chocolate in her purse, and she willingly shared her candy with them. She’d even shared a chocolate cake recipe with Rhea, and she was anxious to try it in her bakery, as soon as she got her hands on the special, international chocolate that Toni recommended for the recipe.

During the convention, Rhea often caught Sterling blatantly staring at her, especially after she’d prayed over her food. His kind smile and twinkling brown eyes put her at ease, and she even noticed Toni glancing at him throughout the conference. Again, she recalled what Toni had said about Sterling liking her. She pushed the thought out of her mind, not wanting to dwell on that. 

              On the last day of the conference, Toni seemed to have a lot on her mind. She kept checking her messages on her phone, sometimes abruptly leaving to take a call. She’d returned to one of the sessions frowning, clutching her phone. Rhea leaned toward her. “Are you okay?” Toni nodded, but, Rhea sensed that Toni didn’t want to confide in her since she didn’t know her very well.

              After the last workshop, the three of them enjoyed a drink at a nearby coffee shop. Sterling made a suggestion. “I’d wondered how the two of you would feel if I prayed over your businesses.”

              Toni pursed her lips, rolling her eyes. “Prayer? I don’t believe in that.”

              Sterling widened his eyes. “You don’t?”

              She shook her head. “Prayer never did me one bit of good and I’m not interested. We can keep in touch, though.”

They exchanged business cards before Rhea focused on Sterling. “I’d like for you to pray about my business and I’ll pray over yours.” She paused, bit her lip. “But, if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to pray about my life, too.”

              Toni touched her shoulder. “You looked so sad sometimes. I’d wondered if something was wrong.”

              Unable to resist, Rhea told them all about meeting Martin, falling in love with him, and now not having the courage to commit to him. “I just don’t know what to do. I need all the prayer I can get.”

              Toni patted her hand. “I can’t pray for you, but, I hope things work out. You’re welcome to email or text me whenever you want.” She eyed Rhea and Sterling. “I want to keep in touch with both of you. I think it’s good for us to network and share ideas about running our businesses.” She paused, glanced at Rhea. “Sounds like you need some courage to commit to this man.” She glanced at her watch. “I have to go. It was nice meeting both of you.”

              Toni quickly hugged both of them before rushing away, her head down. She looked as if she were swiping away tears, but, Rhea wasn’t too sure. She glanced at Sterling, saw him watching Toni rush away.

Rhea sipped her coffee. “She looks like she’s upset about something.”

              Sterling nodded. “Yes, she seemed busy and distracted the whole day. I’ll email her and make sure she’s okay. She’d mentioned that she’d inherited a bakery from her aunt and that she’d been having problems with her cousin.”

              “Problems with her cousin?”

              He shrugged. “Yeah. She mentioned something about her cousin being upset because Toni had inherited the bakery.” He paused, glanced at her before continuing. “It kinda makes me sad when she says that prayer doesn’t help her.”

              “She might just be in the midst of a rough spot in her life. Maybe her faith is weak right now.” Rhea could certainly understand how going through a rough spot could affect your faith in God, causing one to question Him.

              “Yeah, maybe.” He glanced at her again. “Can I be honest with you?” He toyed with the salt and pepper shakers on the table, as if he were nervous or distracted.

              “Sure.” What in the world would he need to be honest with her about? They barely knew one another.

              “Before you told me about Martin, I’d wanted to ask you out.”

              “Are you kidding?” She struggled to hide her surprise. Looks like Toni had been right. Yes, she’d caught Sterling staring at her a few times, but, didn’t think he’d been interested in going out on a date. “But, you live in Florida, so, it’s not like we’d be able to…well, you know, see each other after the conference.”

              “I know. But, I was still curious about you, wanted to know you better.”

              She eyed Sterling. How old was he? He appeared about her age, perhaps a bit older. Why was he even telling her this? If she’d been in his position, she wouldn’t have mentioned her intentions after hearing about Martin.

              He gave her a sideways look. “The reason why I’m telling you is because I didn’t want you to think I was weird or anything. I’ve been making eye contact with you during the entire conference and I just wanted you to know why I was acting like that.” He shrugged his broad shoulders, smiling. He looked cute when he grinned and she figured he’d gotten his fair share of female attention. “I hope things work out for you and Martin. It sounds like you’re really in love with him.”

              She sighed. “I am. I didn’t think I’d be able to love somebody so deeply after Stan died.”