Raspberry Kisses (The Bakery Romance Series Book 1) (20 page)

Stan was in heaven now, but, could he see her? Did Stan know she still suffered from his death? Did people in heaven see their loved ones left behind on this earth? “Stan, do you even realize that I still love you?” Saying the words aloud, she shuddered, gripping her steering wheel.

There, she’d said it. One reason why she’d never been able to have a relationship, or a date, with a man since Stan’s death was because she’d felt as if she were being unfaithful to him. In her heart, she was still married to Stan.

The high chirp from her cell phone buzzed, and she wiped her wet eyes, grabbing the phone. “Hi, Taylor.” Her best friend had been on a month-long business trip to Japan, and Rhea had not talked to her since she’d left.

“Rhea, are you okay. I know this is the anniversary of—”

“I’m fine.” Her voice wobbled.

“No, you’re not. I can tell you’re crying.”

Rhea sniffed, waiting for Taylor to continue. “We haven’t gotten together since I got back. How about I treat you to lunch after church on Sunday? We need to catch up.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Rhea ended the call, still staring at the restaurant. Blowing her nose, she leaned back onto the seat. She still missed Stan, and being at this place brought more memories to the surface. Stan’s death filled her with pain, but, being here, focusing on the memories, brought her some pleasure. No, she could not go inside the restaurant, but, maybe she would dine there again, one day.

*

“Your sister did what?” Taylor slammed her coffee cup onto the saucer, folding her large arms across her chest. Her dark brown eyes simmered with anger while she focused on Rhea.

Rhea poured cream and sugar into her coffee, stirring. “Don’t get so riled up.”

“I can’t help it. Your sister is the biggest idiot I’ve ever known.” Taylor’s loud voice carried throughout the restaurant and several people glanced at their table.

Rhea leaned toward her friend. “Could you keep your voice down? People are staring at us.”

Taylor rolled her eyes, before taking another sip of coffee. “I don’t care. Let them look.”

Rhea had just brought Taylor up to date about her life over the past three weeks.

Taylor glanced around the restaurant, leaned toward Rhea, lowering her voice. “I think Raven sounds like she belongs in the cuckoo ward at the hospital. Your sister has issues Rhea…major issues.”

Rhea crossed her legs. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. Besides, it’s been two years since Stan’s been dead, and now, you deserve some happiness. Martin sounds wonderful. I can’t wait to meet him. So, the two of you are officially dating?”

Rhea shook her head. “Oh, no. We’re just friends.”

“What do you mean? You said that you’re attracted to each other. I think the two of you can be more than just friends.”

“Oh, Taylor. Haven’t you been listening? Martin is a pastor. When Stan got killed, I vowed to never get involved with another pastor, ever again.”

“Well you need to break that vow. You know what the Lord says about fear.” She took Rhea’s hand and squeezed. “Don’t be afraid. Just let yourself go, let yourself fall in love and be happy with Martin. Maybe God wants you to be with Martin. Have you thought about that? You just need to let yourself fall in love, act on your feelings.”

Rhea pulled her hand away. Could God want her to be with Martin? Dealing with Raven’s emotional attitude, coupled with Martin’s profession, she’d wondered if that was the Lord’s way of telling her that Martin was off-limits. Maybe she was wrong.

“Hmm.” Taylor grinned, showing her perfect white teeth. “Seems like I hit a nerve. You’ve been quiet for a few minutes now. I hope you’re thinking about what I said.”

Rhea shrugged. “I’m thinking about it, but I still have my doubts. Stan wanted to do too much for the church. My husband’s job got him killed.” She gripped the handle of her mug.

Taylor placed her hand over Rhea’s. “For some reason, sometimes bad things happen to good people. I’ve never been married, so I can’t say I know what you went through, but I’m sure it was extremely traumatic.” She leaned back into the booth, lifting her coffee cup, cradling it in her manicured hands. “Maybe the Lord brought you and Martin together at the singles retreat because He felt it was time for you to move on. Martin could be a blessing, straight from the Lord, and you could be shunning that blessing.”

Still thinking about Taylor’s advice, Rhea glanced up and spotted Stan’s sister, Mary, going toward the door, apparently leaving. She was escorted by a tall, striking man with dark hair. As if sensing Rhea was watching, Mary turned and their eyes met. She stopped walking, hesitating.

“Is that who I think it is?” Taylor whispered. She’d only met Mary a few times and Rhea recalled how Taylor hated Mary’s frosty, stand-offish attitude.

“Yeah, that’s Stan’s sister Mary.”

Mary grabbed her date’s hand, rushing over to Rhea. “Hi, Rhea.” She nodded toward Taylor. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Taylor mumbled.

Mary gestured toward her date. “This is Ron. Ron this is Rhea and…” She turned toward Taylor, her pale skin reddening. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember your name.”

Taylor smiled, shaking Ron’s hand. “My name’s Taylor.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Rhea. He released Taylor’s hand before shaking Rhea’s, smiling warmly. Rhea turned to Mary. “Mary, I just wanted to thank you for that assignment you got for me at the law firm. I really appreciate it.”

Mary dipped her head. “You’re welcome.”

Stan’s sister wore a tight, sleeveless ivory dress and again Rhea realized how thin she’d become. Her arms were so bony and her cheeks appeared sunken. Again, she recalled Stan confiding about Mary’s illness, so she said the first thing that popped into her mind. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

Ron rubbed his jaw, giving Mary a hard look. “Don’t ask her that. She didn’t eat anything. She never eats. She wants me to take her out and when I do, she just drinks coffee.” He pulled his phone from his pocket, checking the time. “The game’s going to start soon. We need to get going.”

Mary’s pale skin flushed while she turned toward Ron. “I have to stop in the ladies room. I’ll meet you at the car.”

He mumbled something indecipherable before stalking away.

Rhea cleared her throat. “Sounds like you’re in a hurry. Don’t let me keep you.”

Mary pursed her lips, rolling her eyes. Her expression reminded her so much of Stan that Rhea chuckled. “I’m in no hurry to spend time with him. He’s so bossy and self-centered. I doubt I’m going out with him again.”

“He’s very cute,” Taylor offered.

“Whatever,” Mary mumbled. She turned toward Rhea. “Do you mind if I speak to you alone?”

Puzzled, Rhea stood. “We can talk in the ladies’ room if you want.”

Rhea followed Mary to the ladies’ room. They entered and Mary breathed deeply, leaning against the wall, closing her eyes. The bright lights above the sink made Mary appear pale. She continued her deep breathing, her eyes remaining closed. Was she falling asleep?

Rhea touched Mary’s shoulder. “Are you okay? You look sick.”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, opening her eyes. Rhea dropped her hand, took a few steps back. Why was Mary so irritated? She just wanted to help her, especially if she was sick. Besides, Mary had wanted to speak with her, but, she had yet to say anything.

Mary closed her eyes again, still taking deep breaths. “I’m just so tired. It’s hard to act normal around Ron.”

Rhea frowned. “What do you mean?” Did Mary want to speak with her about the problems she was having with her love life? When she’d interviewed with Mary at the employment agency, their meeting at ended on a somewhat positive note. Perhaps Mary needed a friend, and she felt that Rhea would be a good confidante.

“I’m just so tired all the time. Ron hates it when I complain about being fatigued.” She bit her lower lip. “I didn’t let him know how tired I was while he ate. All I wanted to do was go to sleep.” She shuddered and Rhea touched her arm.

“What’s the matter? You’re shaking.”

She glared at Rhea. “Nothing’s the matter—it’s just all that food.” She shook her head and leaned against the sink, opening her purse.

“Mary, don’t get mad at me, I was only trying to help. Besides, you’d said you’d wanted to talk to me about something.”

“I know. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’ve been on edge lately.”

Why would she be on edge? Why would the food make her upset? Was her attitude related to her anorexia? The only way to find out was to ask. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Seeing food in the restaurant makes you upset?”

Mary rummaged in her purse, pulled out a compact and a tube of lipstick. As she powdered her nose and combed her hair, Rhea tried not to stare at her skeletal arms. Her hand shook while she applied her bright red lipstick. “Seeing Ron eat all that food...” She shrugged, placing the makeup back into her purse. “It just makes me sick. He gobbled two plates of food, and he had two beers. I told him if he keeps eating like that, he’ll be big as an elephant.”

“Seeing your boyfriend eat a meal makes you sick?” How ludicrous! Rhea loved seeing people enjoy themselves while eating, especially if they loved the food. When her parents were married, meal time was when their family would sit and talk about their day while eating a hot, nutritious meal.

While she’d been married to Stan, she’d always looked forward to sharing dinner with him. He’d always loved the food she’d prepared. Poor Ron. If he couldn’t eat in front of Mary, then Rhea could understand if the relationship did not work out. Perhaps Mary needed to focus on her own life, and get well, before attempting to date anyone. 

She looked directly at Rhea. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s always finding fault with me, my body, my life.” Her blue eyes glimmered with tears, and she blinked rapidly. “I just can’t take it anymore, Rhea. After today, I’m never seeing him again.”

“If he’s always insulting you, then it’s probably a good idea not to see him again.” Rhea didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t know Ron, and she didn’t know much about Mary’s current life. Could it be that Mary was mad because Ron’s insults were truthful, and she was too afraid to face the truth about herself?

Mary closed her purse, still leaning against the sink.

Should she speak what was on her mind, or, should she remain silent? “Mary, you don’t look well. I’ve never seen you so thin. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

She slammed her fist against the sink, her red-painted lips pressed into a tight line. “Ugh. There’s
nothing
wrong with me. I didn’t come in here to talk about my health.”

If she didn’t want to talk about her boyfriend or her health, then, why’d she ask her to come in here? Rhea checked her watch. She wanted to go home. “Why did you--” A loud knock pounded on the ladies’ room door. “Mary”—Ron’s voice—“you still in there? I told you I’m ready to go.” Mary squirmed at Ron’s agitated tone.

“Good grief. I can’t even go to the bathroom in peace.” She walked toward the door. “I wondered if you’d…had a difficult time on the anniversary of Stan’s death?”

Why had Mary asked her about that? Is that why she’d brought her into the bathroom? “It was difficult, and emotional, but I got through it. How about you?”

She barely nodded. “The same. I still miss my brother so badly it hurts.” Rhea approached Mary, rubbed her bony shoulder. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“I also wanted to tell you that I have some things that I wanted to give to you…some of Stan’s things.”

“Oh?” This was a surprise. Mary really wanted to give her something that belonged to Stan? Why would she do that now that he’d already been dead for two years? “What kind of things?”

She tapped her gold watch. “I can’t talk about it now. I have to go, but, I’ll be in touch.” She hurried away, not giving Rhea a chance to respond.

Chapter Nineteen

When Rhea returned home from her lunch with Taylor, her cell phone buzzed. She opened it, finding a message from Raven.

Rhea, I’m going to be out of touch for a few weeks. Everything is fine. I’m just working through some things. No need to stop by to check on me. You can snail mail your payments for your loan.

What? She read the email twice before calling Raven. Her phone went straight to voicemail. Something was wrong with her twin. This note didn’t even sound like something she’d write.

Rushing from her apartment, she ran to her car and drove over to Raven’s. What if Raven were really sick?

What if her cancer had returned?

Was Raven scared? Maybe that’s why she was acting so strange. She pushed her foot on the accelerator. She had to get there quickly to see if Raven really needed her.

She pulled into Raven’s driveway, rushed to her door. She unlocked it and ran into the basement apartment, finding her sister sprawled on the couch, reading a book. “I got your message.”

Raven rolled her eyes, closed her book. “I told you not to come and check on me. I’ve got to work through some things and I don’t want any company for a while.”

Rhea eyed her sister. She seemed calm and the coffee table was littered with dirty dishes. Thank goodness, at least it appeared that she’d been eating properly and it looked like she was getting better. “I just need to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” she snapped.

“Don’t get mad at me!” She narrowed her eyes. “I want to make sure you’re not sick.” She bowed her head for a few seconds. “I’m not talking about being injured in the accident.” Without explaining, she figured Raven would know she was talking about the cancer. Since she’d gone into remission when they were children, her cancer had not returned, and Rhea had been grateful for that. Now, Raven sends a cryptic message…something just wasn’t right. They rarely spoke about Raven’s cancer, but, with Raven’s recent email, she had to mention it, just to be sure.

Raven’s eyes rounded, and she looked directly at her twin. “No, it’s not that.”

Good, that was a relief. From Raven’s tone, and the way she looked right at her, Rhea knew she was telling the truth. So, if it wasn’t cancer, then, what was wrong? “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Raven pursed her lips. “Of course I know that. But, have you ever thought that there are some things that I don’t want to talk to
you
about?”

Of course she didn’t think Raven would tell her everything about her life. However, if there was something that was bothering her so much that she didn’t want any contact for a few weeks, well, then Rhea wanted to know what it was. Leaving Raven’s question unanswered, she scanned the room. A huge cluster of daisies nestled in a vase on the kitchen table, and the living room window was open. A breeze blew into the room, and the flower petals danced in the light wind.

Raven had never mentioned liking daisies, had she? She’d always preferred more expensive flowers like roses or orchids. “Where did you get the daisies?” The question slipped out before she could stop it. If she showed too much curiosity, then Raven would just get irritated without confiding to her.

“Does it matter where I got them? Don’t they look nice?”

Yes, they looked nice and simple, and totally opposite to what Raven preferred. Perhaps she was seeing a new man and he’d brought her flowers? Could that be? She studied Raven while she lifted her book, turning to the spot where she’d left off. No, there was no way she’d be dating somebody. How could she meet anybody since she couldn’t drive and she was still on medication, not yet healed from her accident?

She started reading her book, ignoring Rhea. Well, it looked like she wasn’t going to be getting any more information from Raven, so she might as well leave. Raven looked fine, so, there wasn’t anything else that Rhea could do. “Well, I’m leaving now.”

“Bye.” She didn’t even look up from her book. “Lock the door on your way out.”

She grabbed Raven’s chin, forced her to look into her eyes. “If you need anything at all, you can call me. Okay.”

Raven shrugged, pulled away, looked back at her book. “Okay.”

Taking another glance through the room, she left Raven’s home, locking the door. She walked back to her car, got in. Now, what was that all about?   

*

A week later, Rhea stood with Martin and Candy outside her restaurant, munching on one of the new sandwiches they were serving as part of her updated café menu. She took a large bite – the sourdough bread paired nicely with the fresh herbs, veggies and meat on the sandwich. She’d taken some to her Bible study group and they’d been amazed about how good the food tasted.

Martin really knew how to revamp a food business. Finishing her sandwich, she focused on the work crew hoisting the new sign onto the top of her bakery. “Martin, it’s perfect.” Rhea grinned. The crew continued installing the sign with her logo of a cupcake, sandwich, and hot coffee on the top of her bakery. Using a drill, they attached the logo to the building. It looked beautiful, and she blinked, happiness sprouting through her like a geyser. She glanced at Martin, caught him staring at her. His dark eyes sparkled with warmth.

“I’ve never seen you smile so much.” His tender, deep voice made her heart beat faster. She longed to be held in his arms, wishing she could kiss his full lips. Of course, that wasn’t going to happen.

Since she’d told him over the phone weeks ago that there was no hope for a relationship between them, he’d kept his distance when they saw one another. Still, she often caught him staring at her, and she wondered what he was thinking.

Candy clapped her hands, squealing. “Martin, I’m so glad you helped us. It looks great.” She glanced at Martin and Rhea, her eyes gleaming with pleasure. “Our grand opening is only one week away, and I can’t wait.” She strolled back into the bakery while Martin and Rhea remained outside, still admiring the sign and the new décor.

“Rhea, I really hope your celebration goes well next week. I promise I’ll be here, but I have a church meeting that morning.”

“How are things going at the church?”

He sighed, still staring at the new sign. “Linda is still running around, still working to keep me out of the pulpit. I checked with the church secretary, and so far she hasn’t received the pastoral application from Linda’s grandnephew.”

“So, he’s not a candidate for the pastorship? That’s good news, right?”

“Well, he still has time to turn it in—the deadline is a couple of weeks away.”

Why did Martin seem to be upset? What was the problem?

“But, you don’t want him to turn it in, right? Do you think he’s going to?”

“Yes, I think he will. Linda is acting as if her nephew is getting the job, even though the application is not turned in. I feel that she’s hiding something, but, I can’t figure out what it is.” He glanced at her. “The last time my group fed the homeless, Linda came along.”

“Really? How’d that work out?”

“It was okay, but, I feel like she’s trying to make herself look good to the rest of the congregation. I’m not one to judge, but, I think she was feeding the homeless because she’s alienated some of the long-standing congregation members with her attitude.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s changed. Maybe she feels bad about giving you a hard time, and she wants to show how her attitude has improved.”

“Yeah, maybe, but, I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more to her actions.”

A light breeze fluttered the leaves of a nearby maple tree. Rhea enjoyed the cool June wind, relishing the fragrant scent of nearby flowers. “Well, have you thought that maybe Linda was bluffing and her nephew is not interested in the job?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just have a feeling that my fight is not over. Linda is too stubborn and determined to just give up. She’ll do whatever she can to ensure her grandnephew gets this position.”

“I hope things work out for you. I’ll keep it in prayer.”

“Thanks.” He studied her, almost as if he were trying to see into her soul with his dark eyes.

She touched her face. Did she have flour on her cheek? “Why are you staring at me?”

“Rhea, I want to be more than just friends.”

She looked away. This was no surprise. Lately, she’d kept her and Martin’s conversations strictly on business. He’d visited the bakery, showing them a recipe for sourdough bagels, giving insight on the kind of breakfast sandwiches they needed to offer on their menu. She’d had a hard time ignoring their attraction during their appointment. She swallowed, finally finding the courage to tell him the truth. Since her weird visit with Raven, she’d wondered if the Lord was giving her a sign that it was time to move on. Could Raven’s strange behavior mean that she no longer had feelings for Martin? “I’ve been giving that a lot of thought…you and I being more than friends.”

“You have?” He raised his voice, eyeing her from head to toe. “You’d really go out with me?”

She nodded. She still had doubts, but, since Raven claimed she needed some space, not wanting to talk to her, she figured her twin wouldn’t get upset if Rhea acted upon her feelings for Martin. Would she?

Thoughts of Stan still littered her mind, especially since the anniversary of his death. But, she couldn’t sit and reminisce about Stan, wishing that he were here with her – he was gone, and until she reached the other side of heaven, she’d never see him again. She needed to accept that, and stop craving his company. She eyed Martin. No he’d never be a replacement for Stan, but, if she opened herself up, and dated him, maybe her grief would lessen, just a bit, and she could learn to love Martin.

Whoa! She stepped back. Loving Martin? She didn’t know if she’d ever really
love
him. She still didn’t know him really well, but, maybe, in time, they could get to know one another better and see what happened after that. He took her hand, and her heart rate skittered. Sparks of warmth covered her fingers. This was the first time Martin had ever held her hand, and being this close to him made her want to close her eyes, lean into his chest, and let him hold her. Caressing her fingers, he looked directly into her eyes. “Raven has stopped calling me. I think you finally got through to her. Thanks for talking to her on my behalf when she threatened to go to the congregation with her false allegations.”

“You’re welcome. But, it wasn’t my doing.”

“Oh?” He raised his thick eyebrows.

She didn’t want to tell him about her last conversation with Raven. “Raven’s attitude seems to be changing. I’ll tell you about it another time.” She wanted to focus on
them
right now, her and Martin. She didn’t want to talk about Raven.

His dark eyes, still curious, seemed to pierce right into her soul. “Well, it sounds like you don’t have to worry about hurting your sister anymore.”

She glanced at their joined hands. “I still have mixed feelings about your being a pastor, and…”

“And you’re still grieving for your husband?”

“Yes.” She shrugged. “I miss him.”

Her heart soared when he kissed each of her fingers. Liquid warmth skittered across her skin from the touch of his lips. “I want you to do me a favor.”

Swallowing, she tried to catch her breath. “What’s that?” Being so close to Martin was so amazing! She leaned toward him, and he pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to her forehead. Melting into his embrace, she resisted the urge to give a contented sigh. 

He gestured toward her shop. “Unless you need help with your business, let’s not talk to each other for a week. Let’s think and pray
us
. On your grand opening, after my church meeting, I’ll come and help you in the bakery and after you close we can talk.”

She pulled away from him, squeezed his hand, and nodded. “Okay.”

He grinned. Maybe there was hope for them after all.

*

Two days after her conversation with Martin, Rhea pulled into the parking lot of Mary’s employment agency. Her job at the law firm had ended, and she was ready to solely focus on her bakery. Since she’d recently opened a new bank account, she’d told Mary’s accountant that it’d be best to cut her a check for her last week’s pay, instead of using direct deposit.

She walked into the agency and spotted Mary leaning against the receptionist’s desk. Her eyes widened when she saw Rhea. She gave Rhea a small smile. “Rhea, I’m so glad to see you.”

Rhea wasn’t sure what to say. She approached her sister-in-law. “Hi, Mary. I just came to get my paycheck.”

She dipped her head. “Of course.” She gestured toward her office. “My accountant left it with me. I wanted to be sure I saw you when you came by. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Wow, what a change.
She never thought she’d see the day when Mary was glad to see her. Maybe she’d started to think of Rhea as a friend since they’d had that conversation in the ladies’ room at the restaurant. Rhea followed Mary to her office, making herself comfortable in one of the chairs. Mary sat at her desk and bright sunlight streamed into the room, highlighting Mary’s pale skin and sunken cheekbones.

Mary blinked. “Oh, that sun’s too bright.” She stood, closing the blinds, the muscles in her skinny arms flexing. After the blinds were shut, she leaned against the wall, placing her hand over her heart. “Oh, my.”