Queen of the Heavens (19 page)

“I want to spend time with you before you leave,” I said to Sety, but he didn’t respond.

As we dined, we continued to talk about the irrigation plan and the addition to the temple, as well as the state of the rice crop and the condition of the granite quarries near Aswan. Rather, my husband and Ramesses talked about such things. I remained silent, deferring to Ramesses’ judgment of when to broach the subject of Sety’s and my estrangement. The time came after we had consumed all of the food and beer before us and were sipping licorice tea.

“Let us not avoid the reason we’re here,” Ramesses said. “The two of you suffered a tragedy with the loss of your son, but it’s now time to move forward with your lives.”

I waited for Sety to say something, but the sphinxes at the entranceway to the villa were more expressive, so I spoke up.

“It is my fondest wish to put our past behind us and look to the future. I’m your devoted wife, Sety. Treat me as your wife and I’ll give you the son you desire.”

Sety said nothing, so Ramesses broke the silence. “Wonderful, Tuya. You have a fine wife, Sety. She loves you a great deal and she’ll serve you well.”

“I have no other wish than to serve my husband and my country,” I said.

“Then it’s settled. Sety, you’ll return home with Tuya today.”

Sety looked downward at his plate. “No. I can’t be with this woman.”

The words pierced my heart like a spear.
What is wrong with this man
, I thought.
He has no right to act this way.

Ramesses rose and walked away from the table. He spoke brusquely. “You’re being unreasonable. Children often die in infancy but men don’t blame their wives.”

Sety stood up, and spoke with the same tone as his father. “Other men don’t have wives who claim to have Tuya’s powers. She failed me and she failed our son. She’s a curse upon me. She’s a curse upon Egypt.”

Sety’s remarks infuriated me, and as I looked at Sety a veil of red passed before my eyes. I wanted to rise, confront my husband and defend myself from his vicious attack, but my better judgment stopped me. I knew this would only turn Sety even more against me, so I let Ramesses continue as my surrogate.

“You’ll get over this. You’ll again feel love toward Tuya,” Ramesses said.

“I will not.”

Ramesses’ frustration turned into anger that nearly equaled mine. “Then if you won’t love your wife,” he shouted, “you’ll at least have a marriage that provides the people of Egypt with the appearance of stability. You’ll also provide them with an heir to the throne.”

“I cannot do so with this woman.” Sety said as he turned his back on his father.

Ramesses reached out, turned his son around forcibly, and with his hands on Sety’s shoulders looked into his eyes. “Yes, you will. Go home and uphold your obligations as a husband and your obligations as my son. Do this, Sety, or you’ll jeopardize my future as the heir to Harenhab and your future as the heir to me. You’ll also jeopardize the future of Egypt.”

Ramesses turned and walked swiftly from the terrace to the garden. Sety followed to continue the argument outside, but I knew Ramesses’ declaration was final. Ramesses may not have had the power to restore love between Sety and me, but he had all the authority he needed to dictate our behavior. We would live together at Ramesses’ estate, performing the duties of marriage. Love and passion would play no part in our times together, nor would personal desires. Instead, ours would be a marriage that would fulfill the needs of the state.

I walked to the door through which I had entered with such dignity not long before, resigned to depart with equal dignity.

The handsome officer who had escorted me from the estate was waiting outside. I wanted to cry, but could not do so in front of him or the other soldiers. I was a Princess, and my duty now was to convey the impression that all was in order in the royal household.

“I’m ready to return home,” I said, with a forced smile on my lips.

“Yes, My Lady,” the officer replied, then escorted me to the chariot. This time as we passed through the streets of Memphis I noticed nothing, smelled nothing and heard nothing, for all my senses were numb.

Mother greeted me upon my return.

“What happened?” she inquired.

“We’ll talk later, Mother. I wish to be alone.”

I walked to my room, sat down on a stool, eyes forward. I had lost a child. Isis had abandoned me. My joyous youth seemed like a distant memory, and I faced a future with a husband who felt nothing for me but scorn. The tears I had restrained on my journey home erupted, and flowed for I know not how long. When they finally ended, I sat motionless, staring at the wall, feeling empty and alone.

I was awakened from my daze by Sety, who stormed into my room unannounced.

“My father won’t relent, and we will not disobey him,” he said, averting his eyes from me.

“The thought never entered my mind,” I replied without expression.

Sety took off his jewelry and sandals, and then his kilt, and sat down naked on the bed. I, too, disrobed, and sat next to him, hoping against hope my sexual allure would arouse him at least a bit. I put my hand on Sety’s forearm, but he pulled away, as if my gentle touch were the bite of an asp. I touched him again. This time, he allowed me to do so, but his arm was as tense as a bow string.

Sety took a deep breath, put his hands on my shoulders, and pushed me downward onto the bed, still without looking into my eyes.
What demon is in him?
I asked myself. Immediately, he rolled on top of me and tried to enter me, but this was impossible. His phallus, which had always been as stiff as a Vizier’s staff when we made love, was flaccid and my sacred place was dry. For some time, Sety rubbed against me as an animal might rub against its mate until he achieved sufficient firmness and I enough wetness to enable us to couple as husband and wife.

During our first week together, in the happy times, Sety and I made love on sheepskins to the smell of blue lotus blossoms. The goddess Bastet stirred our passion throughout the night and pushed us into states of ever greater ecstasy. Now, Sety moved forcefully and quickly inside me, seeking not joy, but merely release.

He succeeded within moments, then immediately withdrew his phallus, got up from the bed and put on his kilt. “We’ll do this again tomorrow, and the next day and the next until I leave for Abydos. When I return, we’ll continue until you give me the son you promised.”

“You hate me, don’t you?” I asked, but Sety left my room without answering.

I lay back in bed, exhausted and motionless. The shadows in the room lengthened as the sun disk neared the completion of its daily journey. My sadness and grief should have caused me to cry again, but my anger prevented tears from forming.

Is this to be my destiny?
I inquired of myself.
Am I to remain for a lifetime trapped with a man who hates me? I would rather die than live like this.

As night fell, I drifted toward sleep. Just before entering it, words on the note from Lord Harenhab surfaced in my consciousness:
“When life seems darkest, we must trust in the divine the most.”

“I will trust you, Isis,” I whispered. “I have no other choice.”

XIX

My husband’s outrages did not alter my status in the royal household, and they most certainly didn’t affect the Pharaoh’s feelings toward me. To my delight, Lord Harenhab summoned me to the palace soon after my attempted reconciliation with Sety so that we might take a meal together. Since I had remained in Memphis during my pregnancy rather than accompany the court to Thebes, I had not seen the Pharaoh for half a year and I greatly looked forward to our meeting.

In the morning after my bath, Nebet opened a small vessel containing an oil I had not smelled in months.

“That’s the fragrance of blue lotus,” I said with surprise. “It’s for passion.”

“Passion and affection. Lord Harenhab’s too old for the aroma to excite his body, but it certainly would nurture his fondness toward you.”

Nebet dabbled three drops of the powerful essence between my breasts, at the heart center, where the energy of love passes between humans and the Cosmos, then helped me to put on my finest clothing and jewelry.

“You look and smell like a goddess,” she said.

“As I should when I meet a god,” I responded.

Lord Harenhab sent a chariot and a detail of the Royal Guard to take me to the palace. Soon, I found myself striding down the grand colonnade that led to the throne room.

I had first walked this path when Ramesses summoned my parents and me to see if I was a suitable match for his son. Back then, I was awestruck by the towering columns and grand artistry. Now, my awe was replaced by an appreciation of the palace’s majesty and the knowledge that I was as majestic as the scenery around me.

An officer announced my arrival and invited me to enter the throne room. Statues of Khnum, Sobek, Sekhmet, Anubis and other gods and goddesses dressed in fine linen raiment lined the walls. A statue of Horus stood behind Lord Harenhab, who was seated on a dais beneath a wooden canopy on a gilded throne. A dozen aides and military officers, all impeccably dressed, stood around him.

I bowed, then walked up to the Pharaoh. The gold amulet of the winged Sekhmet hung high on his chest from a cord around his neck. A silver
ankh
, the symbol of life, hung on another cord at the heart center. A carnelian was embedded in the
ankh
at the point where the pieces crossed.

The months spent in Thebes had not treated Harenhab kindly and I was struck by how gray and feeble he appeared.

“Tuya. You look well. That’s wonderful to see,” Harenhab said.

“Thank you, My Lord. I’m feeling much better, though I still grieve for my child.”

“That is as it should be, my dear, but your own life continues, so live it well.”

The Pharaoh rose slowly. An aide handed him a cane and assisted him down the steps in front of the throne. “Leave us, all of you,” he said, dismissing his courtiers with a wave of his hand. “Sycophants,” he whispered as he linked his arm with mine. “They all want something from me. Come, Tuya. We’ll enjoy a meal together.”

Harenhab led me to an adjacent room that opened onto a terrace with a vista of the Nile in the distance. As soon as we sat down, two female servants, one Nubian, the other lighter skinned, brought roasted goose legs and wheat cakes served on fine stoneware, along with silver chalices of wine.

The servants were about my age. Necklaces of red, yellow and blue beads drew attention to their bare breasts. Floor-length dresses clung tightly to them, revealing thighs of perfection. The cat-like creatures moved with grace and confidence, with the energy of the goddess flowing through them in many forms, from the gentle and sensuous Bastet to the ferocious, seductive and loving Sekhmet. As I looked at these magnificent feline beings, I wondered which of us was most beautiful.

Harenhab noticed my fixation. “I may be a feeble old man, but I enjoy the presence of female beauty. I absorb their feminine power through my skin. It helps to give me strength and balance.”

“You’ve chosen well, My Lord. Their beauty is unmatched,” I said as the servants walked away, having finished the task of serving us.

“Nonsense,” Harenhab said while picking up a goose leg. “Your beauty far exceeds theirs, in both body and soul.”

I dropped my head, diverting my eyes from the Pharaoh in a gesture of modesty. “You exaggerate, My Lord.”

“No I don’t, Tuya. I speak the truth. Too bad your foolish husband can’t see the divine in you that is so obvious to everyone else.”

“You know of the troubles between Sety and me?”

“Of course. Ramesses told me of his atrocious behavior.”

“He blames me for the death of our son and I can’t convince him otherwise. His anger prevents him from hearing anything I say.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Sety is a man of great drive and energy. This enables him to accomplish much, but if something goes wrong he can become wrathful. The forces within him are not in balance. He has been this way since he was a child.”

“I fear a demon has entered him.”

Harenhab reached out his hand and touched mine. “Perhaps, but Sety has much to learn and you must be steadfast as he learns it. Your life together may not always be so difficult.”

“I pray for his love to return, but I fear he will discard me and take one of his concubines as his primary consort.”

“Not while I am Pharaoh,” Harenhab said with regal authority. “Don’t give it another thought, Tuya. You’re the Princess who’ll give birth to Sety’s heir.”

I welcomed the Pharaoh’s support, but his words did not ease my concerns. Harenhab was the most powerful protector I could have, but his reign would not last forever. He could shield me for perhaps a year, or even two, but would his protection extend beyond the tomb? I also was a favorite of Ramesses, but with Harenhab gone how long would it be until Ramesses succumbed to his son’s constant complaining and acquiesced in my removal? There was no telling, and I knew my best hope of retaining the status of future Queen was to give birth to an heir as soon as possible.

“I deeply appreciate your support,” I said. “My strongest desire is to serve Sety, and all of Egypt, by bearing a son.”

“You will, Tuya, but for the moment you must trust in the workings of the divine and appreciate that all is as it should be.”

“I try to trust, though I must confess I find it difficult. I feel as if the gods and goddesses have deserted me. I think of Isis, and ask, ‘Where is she?’ I recall the prayers you ordered to be said for my child in the great temples of the land and wonder why they were for naught.”

“Were they for naught, Tuya? You asked for the priests and priestesses to pray that your child be a boy, and this was so.”

“But he didn’t live.”

“What is life? What is death? They’re merely different states of being. Perhaps it was not time for the soul of the child to come into earthly existence, or perhaps the soul walks the Earth as we speak and is waiting for the body it inhabits to wither away so it can return as your child.”