Psion Alpha (16 page)

“Project
Orwell opened my eyes. They named it Orwell as a joke, but the name was
appropriate. We already live in a society that listens to every call a person
makes, reads every electronic communication a person sends, and sees every
piece of information a person reads. However, this isn’t enough for the CAG.
Once Project Orwell launches, one by one, starting with unborn babies and
working up to the elderly folk, every person’s movement and location will become
traceable through hyper-chip implantation. If the CAG successfully conquers the
NWG, the project will spread to a worldwide effort. No one will escape
detection. And no one will be able to effectively fight against tyranny.

“Now,
Mr. Gibbons wants to get his panties knotted because our friend and colleague Sammy
was born with an anomaly. But that’s something Sammy has no control over. Me? I
say we got bigger fish to fry. I can’t sit around and watch hissy fits about
these little things any more. I hunted down the resistance and came here
because I hate oppression and because I value my freedom. So, like I said,
let’s talk about the important things or shut up.”

Gibbons
didn’t respond to Lorenzo’s remarks. He only sat with his arms folded, shaking
his head. The committee spent the next several hours debating Sammy’s plan. For
a while, it seemed that well over half the group dissented to his ideas.
Justice, on the other hand, was very persuasive and gradually won people over
with his cool logic.

When
it was getting close to dinner time, Thomas decided he’d heard enough chatter.
He spoke over three people arguing to say, “I think it’s time to vote. One
thing I’ve learned being part of the resistance for so many years is we can
never talk enough. But once we act, we do it well. I’m encouraged by the presence
of so many trained soldiers on our side. I know there are some who fear
committing to any action, particularly when it’s so dangerous. But before we
vote, ask yourselves if we have any better ideas and whether or not it is time
to act now on the best information we have.”

Lara
took Thomas’ hand. “All those in favor of approving the plans set forth today
by Sammy, please say, ‘aye.’”

Several
ayes came forth from the committee.

“Those
who oppose, please say ‘nay.’”

There
were some nays, but not as many as the ayes.

“The
ayes have it. Tomorrow we begin preparation for the missions. Our first point
of order will be to choose who goes on which team. As Mr. Lewis suggested, we
will also choose backups to train in case of any unforeseen circumstances.”

The
meeting adjourned. Anna and Justice hung back to speak with Sammy. “Let’s meet in
a couple of hours,” she suggested. “We need to discuss who we want to take on
the missions. Your place, Berhane?”

Sammy
nodded. “After dinner?”

That
evening, Anna, Justice, and Sammy sat on the floor of his living room with
several 3x5 index cards spread out in front of them. Each card had a name
written on it. The three former members of Charlie Squadron picked through the
cards again and again, reading the names and writing on them the strengths and weaknesses
of the persons inscribed. Sammy relied heavily on the advice and opinions of
Justice and Anna since he did not know many of the people who had returned from
Capitol Island with Commander Byron. He kept a pad of paper next to his lap to
write notes based on what they said. Thomas and Lara joined them later and gave
them names of resistance members who they recommended. Each name came with
details of their talents and possible contributions to the teams.

“Wesley
Gibbons?” Sammy asked when he read the list. “Is this a joke?”

“I
put him on top for a reason,” Thomas said. “He’s a good man.”

“He
hates me!”

“No,”
Lara said, “it’s his nature to disagree.”

“He
likes looking at both sides of the issue,” Thomas added.

“And
then pick the side I’m not on,” Sammy finished.

“Do
you trust me, Sammy?” Thomas asked.

“Of
course.”

“Then
choose him. He looks at things differently than most people. I’ve found him to
be a lifesaver at times.”

Sammy
glanced over the list for the fourth time. “I’ll think about it.”

Thomas
and Lara stayed a few minutes longer to offer other suggestions and then bid
goodnight. Anna picked her team much faster than Sammy. This might have been
because her mission was much simpler in nature, but Sammy also knew that
through her experience as a honcho, she had learned to be decisive and trust
her choices. When he had his list narrowed down to all but two spots, Anna and
Justice left for the night. He hadn’t been alone for long when Brickert returned
home. Brickert didn’t say anything. His mannerisms told Sammy he’d been talking
to Natalia again. And since Sammy guessed it hadn’t gone well, he left his
roommate alone. A few minutes later, a knock came from the door leading into
the tunnels.

“Natalia,”
Sammy grumbled as he got up to answer it. But it wasn’t Natalia, it was Jeffie.

“Hiya
stranger,” he said.

“Hiya
back,” she answered. “I was wondering if you’re still my boyfriend.”

Sammy
put on a grimace. “Gee, I don’t know. There’s this other girl. A model.”

Jeffie
snickered and pushed past him into the house. Sammy, however, hadn’t meant to
let her in. “Because, you know, usually a boyfriend actually hangs out with his
girlfriend, can’t keep his hands off her. He doesn’t sit around and play
with—okay, what are you doing with all these cards on the floor?”

In
an attempt to wave it off, Sammy gestured at them dismissively. “Yeah, I’m
lame. I’m just, you know, saving the world and stuff.”

“Saving
the world with note cards. Nice.”

“It’s
mission stuff.” He took Jeffie’s hand and pulled her to him for a kiss so she
wouldn’t look at the cards. “So what brought you over here?”

She
smiled at him and hugged him. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she
said, “Hey, that card has my name on it.”

Sammy
took her hand again and shuttled her toward the door. “Let’s go for a walk. I
need to get out of here for a few minutes.”

“Wait,
let me read it.”

“Please
don’t.” There was no trace of joking in his voice now. “I’m serious. You don’t
want to read the card.”

“Why
not?”

Sammy
closed his eyes. “Will you trust me on this?”

Jeffie
stared at him for a long time, then went and picked up the card. “‘Jeffie.
Cons: Poor decision making during stressful situations. Highly emotional. Lacks
qualifying fighting skills. Undisciplined in battle. Overly fearful of engaging
in live combat. Do not recommend for either team.’” She dropped the card and
stared at Sammy with large, haunted eyes. “Wow. Even written in big bold
letters.”

“You
weren’t meant to read that. It was only—”

“You
wrote that!” she yelled. “You think I don’t recognize your crappy handwriting?”

“I
never said I didn’t write it. I said it was meant for—”

“Undisciplined
in battle?
You’ve never seen me in battle!
Lacks qualifying fighting
skills?” She rubbed her eyes, a sign that she was trying to not cry. “You make
me sound like the most pathetic Beta ever trained.”

“I
know. I meant to!”

“Wh
… why?”

The
hurt look on her face cut into Sammy more deeply than he had expected it would.
What had once seemed like an excellent idea had turned into something terribly
foolish.
Why can’t she just listen to me?

“I
don’t want you going on the missions, Jeffie.” She tried to cut him off again,
but he spoke over her. “I don’t want you in danger. And—and you keep talking
about the guilt you have from what happened in Orlando. Sorry, but I thought
you would appreciate me keeping you out of harm’s way until you felt ready.”

“I
am never going to feel ready! I want to go! I asked you to put me on your team!”

Sammy
shook his head. “You don’t really want to go. You’re terrified.”

Jeffie’s
jaw trembled, and Sammy knew that she was reliving the events from Orlando
again. It was like watching a movie playing in her eyes. “That’s why I have to
go. I can’t let my fear dictate my actions. I have to prove to myself—”

“A
mission isn’t the place—”

Now
Jeffie raised her voice to drown out Sammy’s. “—prove to myself I can do it.”

Sammy
smacked his forehead. He couldn’t reason with her. “When you’re dead, will that
prove something to you?”

“Is
that what you think? That I’m going to get killed?”

“I
hope not. But I’m afraid it’s what will happen if you go. You’re not ready.”

“Were
you ready in Rio? In Omaha? In Akureyri?” She searched his eyes for the truth,
but Sammy diverted his gaze. “I didn’t think so.”

“Jeffie
… I am so much more powerful—”

“If
you finish that sentence, I will throw something at you. You know I’m right.”

“Fine,
I was scared. It’s impossible to be ready. Are you happy now? I still don’t
want you on my mission.”

“But
I’ve already said it doesn’t matter! And you agreed!”

“It
matters when I say it matters!” Sammy shouted. “It matters because I don’t want
you around me in a battle!”

Jeffie
gave Sammy a decent blast to the chest. It didn’t hurt, but it was enough that
it forced Sammy onto the couch so she could walk by him. “It’s amazing how you
can be a really awesome guy one minute, and a complete jackass the next!”

From
his sitting position, he heard her throw open the door to the tunnels and slam
it shut. He looked up at the ceiling and cursed at the top of his lungs. Then
he blasted at the cards, causing them to fly up in the air and flutter back
down like a pack of white seagulls. He watched them with a detached interest.
How
many other ways can I screw up this relationship?

He
still hadn’t chosen the last two people for his mission, but he didn’t want to
think about it anymore. Perhaps after a night of sleep, his mind would be
clearer. He stooped down to pick up the cards, when someone touched his
shoulders. He recognized the touch, and sighed, thankful she’d come back.

“I’m
such an idiot,” she said. “Only thinking about myself as usual. It’s not me, is
it? It’s you. This is still about your anomaly.”

Without
turning around to look at her, he continued to pick up the cards. “It’s always the
worst in battle. In Akureyri, I lost control of it. For a little bit. You can’t
see that. Ever.”

She
wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. “You are
who you are. I accept that.”

Sammy
pulled away from her. “I don’t accept it. I hate it! And it is … it is … so
hard to control. One minute, I might be fine, and the next I want to kill
someone. I want to brutally murder them with my hands so I can smell their
blood on my fingers. That night in Orlando, I wanted to kill Katie Carpenter so
badly it drove me to put everyone in harm’s way.”

“It’s
all right. You ended up saving us. A good thing happened from a bad choice.
Call it a miracle or luck or fate and move on.”

“No!”
Sammy swiped his hand through the air. “I don’t believe in miracles.”

“Well,
I do. Like I told you before, I have faith you can control your anomaly.”

“Don’t
talk to me about faith!” A snarl formed on his lips. He took several deep
breaths to cool down. Meanwhile, Jeffie stared at him unblinkingly, uncertainty
in her eyes.

“I
don’t want to hear another word about that. Byron has faith, but look at him. I
had faith, and yet I’m cursed! Look at the world, Jeffie. Where is a god or
faith in all of this? Our entire planet is at war! If there is a god, his name
must be Ares or Chamunda … or Tyr because that’s the only god who has power
here. People like Albert keep telling me to see the miracles around me, but I
don’t see them. I see luck, I see bravery, and I see way too much suffering!”

“Fine,
Sammy,” Jeffie whispered until her voice caught. “I’m sorry. Forget I mentioned
it. All I meant was that I believe you’re strong enough to overcome this.”

Sammy’s
chest shook with each breath. He rubbed his face, tired and yet awake as ever.
Even now he felt the darkness inside him growing, feeding his anger.

“I
can’t put you on the team. I know you hate to hear that, but I can’t do it.”

“I
get it.” Jeffie tried to put on a brave, but indifferent face for him. Seeing
her do that made him hate himself. “You need to finish your work, and I’m only
distracting you.”

Sammy
didn’t say anything to stop her from leaving. When the door closed, he looked
at his cards and decided to choose the last two names in the morning. He slept
fitfully. And when he woke the next morning, he stayed in bed and stared at the
list of names again. The one part of the list he kept going back to was the
Psion who would accompany him and an Ultra into the Hive. That part of the
paper had been crossed out and rewritten and crossed out a dozen times.