Providence (5 page)

When she walked away, I turned my attention back to the newspaper. There was a picture of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis at the top of the page. I read the caption and thought about what I had learned in history class. I kind of fancied myself as a pioneer. My adventures would take me places no one in my family had ever seen before. If St. Louis was the perfect starting off place for the people heading west more than a hundred years ago, then it seemed the perfect place for me to start my trip across the country. I pulled my backpack out of the carriage and dug out my notebook. I turned to my adventure list and added the Gateway Arch. Those girls didn’t know anything about me, I thought. I was going to see places they had never even thought about. I was going to go to college too—and I was going to graduate. I patted Baby Girl on the back. “Don’t you worry none,” I whispered. “I’m not going anywhere until I find your mama.”

I flipped through every page of the paper, searching for any word of someone missing a baby. As my mind went back to our housing situation for the night, I thought again about going to the police. If I did, would they bring me back home to Mama and Daddy? Then what would happen to Baby Girl? I know Daddy wouldn’t welcome another mouth to feed into the house. He hardly was happy about the ones he made with Mama.

Rosie knowing my real name was weighing on me, too. She was more than kind to us, but I figured if my name showed up in the newspaper she might call the police first and ask questions later.

“Becky,” Sarah said.

I jumped in my seat a little. I had been so deep in my thoughts I hadn’t taken notice of her sitting back down. I looked at her and saw her smiling and pointing up at the ceiling. I looked up and saw the lights blinking. “That’s the librarian’s way of letting us know she is closing up,” Sarah explained. “I’m going to check this out. Are you getting anything?”

“Not tonight,” I said.

“Well, it was nice to meet you,” Sarah said. “I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. I think that is something you’ll find out about this town quickly. It’s hard to turn around without running into someone you know, or someone that someone you know knows.”

“Enjoy the book,” I said. I pushed the stroller back to the ladies’ room. I changed Baby Girl’s diaper and took care of myself. The prospect of having to spend the night outdoors caused me to consider hiding out in there until everyone had gone home for the night. If it were just me, I probably could have gotten away with it. But babies draw attention, especially when there is only one baby in the library, and the librarian had peeked into the carriage a few times while I was sitting there. Even if I could find a place to hide the carriage, I was sure the librarian would notice that we hadn’t left the building.

I took a deep breath and swung the bathroom door open. I held it there with my backside while I steered the carriage through the opening. The librarian was standing by the front door looking at her watch when I got there. As I walked out the door, I heard the lock click behind me. I shivered despite the heat. Night would be upon us soon, and I still had no sure plan for where we were going to go.

CHAPTER 5

I pushed the carriage up the same streets we had walked down earlier. It was that dozy time of evening that happens in summer, when day is gone but night hasn’t quite arrived. Porch lights dotted the dusky air, and neighbors were swatting the mosquitoes and calling out their goodbyes.

I turned the corner and practically tiptoed down Cobbler Court, the street where I had watched the mailman earlier in the day. The two houses on the right of the circle looked empty. I walked around three times to see if anyone would come outside. The big brick house had a tall white fence around its backyard. I held my breath and plowed across the gravel to the gate.

The tree house was the reason I chose this place. Now I gave it a really hard look. I went around the pool and looked at the rope ladder hanging from the tree. The knots in my stomach were bigger than the knots on that rope. There was no way I could climb up there holding Baby Girl.

The screened porch on the back of the house looked more promising. I swear that I never before entered someone’s house without the benefit of an invitation. But I couldn’t spend all night shooing away the mosquitoes that hovered around us. I reached up and removed a bell that hung from the top of the porch door. I felt sure the family that lived in this house was away, but I didn’t want that bell jingling and announcing our arrival to the neighbors. Then I opened that door the way I pull off a Band-Aid—slowly and carefully.

The porch was large, and had everything a couple of girls on the run could ask for. The furnishings were covered with sheets. I lifted one and peeked inside. They had cushions as thick as a loaf of bread, and one of the pieces lay back just like a bed. Against the wall, there was a long cabinet with a sink built into it. Underneath there was a refrigerator no taller than my two-year-old sister, Mary Jo.

The porch had a slate floor, so the first thing I did was take off my shoes to quiet my walking. The cool slate soothed my tired feet. I cleaned Baby Girl up and mixed three bottles of formula. One would be her good night bottle, and the other two would go in the refrigerator for the middle of the night feedings.

Next, I went to work on me. I must have used half a bottle of their liquid soap removing the dirt and grime. I took notice of what kind it was and promised myself I would replace it tomorrow. I wasn’t about to add robbery to my list of accidental crimes.

I sat down and started feeding Baby Girl when I noticed a gray cat rub up against the screen. It was too big and healthy-looking to be a stray, so I worried that its owner would come through the gate looking for it. I slipped back out of the porch and carried the cat out to the driveway. I hid behind the gate and watched it run across the street to one of the neighboring houses.

Baby Girl took this opportunity to slip off to sleep without finishing her bottle. I moved the carriage as close as I could get it to the lounge chair that would be my bed for the night. I wanted to be sure that I would hear her right away so she wouldn’t have time to wake the neighbors. I lay down and watched her breathing for a little while, but when I closed my eyes it wasn’t her sweet little face I pictured. I was thinking about that cat, and wondering what it looked like when it was a kitten. When I was nine, I found a stray kitten down by the main road. She was the same color gray as the dress on the Christmas tree angel, and just as soft. I named her Gray Velvet and couldn’t wait to show Mama and Daddy. But when Daddy looked at the kitten, he didn’t see what I saw. “Did you feed this cat?” he asked.

“Yes, Daddy,” I said, feeling proud of myself for taking such good care of the kitten.

“She’s the runt of the litter,” Daddy said. “Even her own mama didn’t want her. She’s too scrawny to grow into a good mouser. That cat’s useless to us and she’ll never move on since you fed her. You go out back and drown her now.”

Daddy could be cruel at times when he thought there was a lesson to be learned by one of us; still, I couldn’t believe the words he was saying. I remember staring at Daddy for what seemed like days. He looked back at me and said, “Get to it now, and don’t you be bringing any more strays into this house.”

I hid Gray Velvet in my room and fed her with an old baby bottle. A few days later, she escaped into the living room. Daddy took both Gray Velvet and me by the scruffs of our necks and dragged us up to the barn. He handed the cat to me and filled a bucket with water.

“Now, you’re going to do what you should have done when I first set eyes on that cat,” he said.

I tried to run away, but Daddy grabbed me and forced Gray Velvet and my hands into the bucket. At first, Gray Velvet seemed to hold her breath. Then she tried swimming away. Eventually I could feel her fighting for air and choking. All the while, I tried to help her. No matter how hard I tried to pull my hands and Gray Velvet out of the bucket, I was no match for Daddy’s strength. He held tighter and kept my hands under the water until she stopped moving. “This is a lesson you won’t forget, Becky. You do what your daddy tells you, or you’ll regret it.”

I was crying too hard to answer, but Daddy was right about one thing. I won’t ever forget.

The next morning, I awoke not to the baby’s cries or another nightmare, but to the sound of
plop, plop, plop
. The sun was starting to push itself into the sky, so I knew we needed to get out of there. I slipped out of the porch door and peeked through a knothole in the fence. The
plop, plop, plop
sound I heard was newspapers hitting the neighbor’s driveways. I hurried back to the porch and collected our things. Baby Girl was fussing a little, so I had to tend to her needs first or we would wake the neighbors with her howling. A quick bottle and a fresh diaper and we were on our way. Lucky thing for us, folks on that street didn’t keep farmers’ hours.

The only thing open in town that early was the Tick Tock Diner. I slid into a booth by the window and Dottie, the waitress, sauntered over. She was wearing the same uniform she had on last night. The grease stain on her right hip pocket and the ink stain on her left told me that Dottie didn’t spend her after work hours over at the Super Suds.

“Back again?” she said.

“Food was so good last night,” I said, “that I had to come back for more.”

She shook her head. “What can I get you?”

“Coffee, please,” I said. Baby Girl had gotten me up so many times last night that I had to make extra bottles. I was worried about being able to keep my eyes open all day.

Dottie returned with the pot, poured me a cup, and tossed some of the little cream cups on the table. “A young girl like you shouldn’t be drinking coffee,” she said. “Do you want something to eat with that?”

I looked at the menu, trying to find the perfect blend of cheap and slow cooking. I wasn’t enjoying this lady’s company but I was too tired to be pushing that carriage up and down the streets until the Second Hand Rose opened. Unfortunately, we were her only customers, so when Dottie brought my breakfast she hung around the booth.

“Where you from?” she asked.

“A little north of here,” I answered.

“How long you planning to stay?”

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Maybe for good. I got me a job over at the Second Hand Rose.”

Dottie nodded at Baby Girl. “Will her daddy be joining you soon?”

“No.”

“So where are you staying?”

My fingers tightened around my fork. The door opened and a group of old men puffing on cigars shuffled in. “Coffee all around, Dottie,” one of them shouted.

I watched Dottie saunter back to the coffee pot. Those eggs were going to be my last hot meal for a while. I needed to stay away from the Tick Tock Diner until I had time to think of some answers for all of Dottie’s questions. Since this was the only restaurant I had seen in town, I figured our dining out days were done.

CHAPTER 6

I arrived at work an hour early and waited for Rosie. When she saw me sitting on the step she clapped her hands and raised them to the sky. “You’re early,” she said. “I knew I did right in hiring you and giving you that carriage. My granddaughter said I’m an old fool for trusting a stranger. But I told her that there are some folks who are never strangers; they’re friends right away.”

Her kind words struck me like a splash of sunlight. I parked the carriage behind the counter and got right to work. Rosie wanted to go through the boxes of baby stuff herself, so I started moving things around to make room for the new merchandise. I sorted and folded and moved things until it occurred to me that I hadn’t heard as much as a whimper out of Baby Girl. I walked up to investigate and found Rosie sitting in a rocking chair feeding her.

“I’m sorry, Rosie. I didn’t hear her fuss. I don’t want us to be more work for you,” I said, approaching them with outstretched arms.

“Nonsense,” Rosie answered. She went right on rocking and showed no signs of handing over Baby Girl. “Georgia and I are just fine. Why don’t you take a little break? We don’t have to finish all of the work in one morning.”

I felt a little shook when Rosie called Baby Girl Georgia. That was another one of the lies that would never leave me. I watched the two of them rocking back and forth, and couldn’t tell which of those little ladies looked more content. That is why I didn’t say anything about the pink dress with white smocking and rosebuds that Rosie had put on Baby Girl.