Promise (10 page)

"Is that what you're afraid of? That I won't
like you?"

I didn't answer, didn't even acknowledge the
question.

"Ah, I see." He leaned his head down, his
lips against my ear, and whispered, "It's a little too late for
that."

I turned to look at him and he shrugged.

"I already know the kind of person you are
and that's all that matters to me. I have my own issues and yours
can't be any worse. Trust me. Unless…" He pulled back and lifted an
eyebrow. "You're not really a guy in there, are you?"

I smiled. "Not the last time I checked."

"Because that would cross my line. Anything
else…" He shrugged again. "I can handle."

He must have seen the doubt in my eyes.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you,
Lex. Please trust me."

His eyes delved into mine, searching deep for
something buried under layers of betrayal and pain. As I looked
back into his beautiful eyes, I knew I didn't want to push him
away. But what he asked for…I didn't know if I had it to give.

"The problem with trust," I said slowly,
deliberately, "is you don't know it's broken until it is, when it's
too late."

"But you can't know you can trust me until
you try," he countered.

"Everyone I've ever trusted has betrayed me
in a very big way, except Sophia."

"And when will you realize I'm not everyone
else?"

I already knew, at least to some extent. But
just because he was different than most people didn't mean he could
accept
my
differences.

"I don't know. I don't even really know you.
You don't know me."

His eyes sparkled a little brighter as he
nodded. "That's something we can change."

My heart balanced on a fulcrum, teetering one
way and then the other…. Which was better? Not sharing the real,
whole me with him and enjoying this charade of a relationship,
which would eventually end anyway because it was based on lies—his,
mine and my mom's? Or giving my whole self to him and taking the
chance he'd run from the freak show? And what if he did stay? Is
that what I really wanted?

"I'm not asking for your deepest, darkest
secrets. Just a little at a time, Lex. My goal will be to build
your trust in me, one little piece at a time." He lifted my chin
with his thumb. "Will you let me do that?"

I looked into his eyes and my heart stopped
teetering and tumbled over. I hadn't realized it before, but I knew
now. He'd already cracked my shell and eventually he'd make the
whole thing crumble, leaving every bit of me exposed for his
scrutiny. And I would let him and just have to deal with the
consequences. I wanted to take the risk that came with trusting
him, even knowing if he turned out to be like all the others, it
would be the worst pain I'd ever experienced. He'd already settled
too deeply into my heart. He'd snapped himself into place with each
of those little clicks I'd felt over the past two months.

It went against everything I knew was for my
own good, but I could feel a tugging deep down that I needed to do
this. That it was right. We needed to dispose of the lies. If he
was willing to do one piece at a time, I could handle that.

"Baby steps?" I whispered.

"That's what I'm talking about," he said with
a warm smile. "So, you start. What do you want to know?"

A hundred-and-one questions flew through my
mind. The most guarded answers, I was sure, had to do with the
conversation between him and my mom, what he knew, how he knew, who
he really was…. But those weren't baby steps and if I expected baby
steps, I would give them, too.

"What do you do? I mean, when you're not with
me or at school. Do you have a job?"

"Hmm…no, not really a job, but I have plenty
to do. I do some, uh…consulting…and use that money to play the
stock market. I've built up a decent portfolio that allows me to
buy toys." He grinned. "It's all stuff I do at home, mostly. And I
indulge in Aikido."

"Eye—what?"

"Aikido. It's a form of martial arts. I use
it to practice self-control."

"Really?" I thought of the other day, when he
threatened the wife-beater in the park. "You have control issues?
Never would have thought…."

"Ha ha," he replied, matching my sarcasm.
Then he kind of frowned. "Actually, I had quite a bit of control
the other day. I was angry, but I was fully aware of what I was
doing. Otherwise, I might've just killed the lowlife."

A chill ran up my spine. I knew he wouldn't
have—
couldn't
have—killed the creep…I didn't think he had
that in him. But, with his muscular build, he was fully capable of
doing some serious damage.

"Your Aikido must be working, then. That's
the only time I've seen you come close to being anything but calm
and cool."

"Hmm. Ironic. Because when I'm around you is
when I need more control than ever…I really want to
lose
it
with you." The tone was heavy but a smile played on his lips. I
didn't know what to make of it.

"But if it's practicing self-control, how is
that an indulgence?"

"Because I spar and that's
fun
." He
grinned.

"Spar, as in fighting?" I asked, my stomach
tightening.

"Yeah. You want to watch sometime?"

"Ugh. No, thanks, I'll pass."

"So…," he lowered his voice to its most
irresistible, "…do I get to ask a question?"

I cringed. He lifted an eyebrow. I took a
deep breath, let it out slowly and nodded.

"What do you do, besides school? You don't
work at the store, so either you're mooching off Sophia or you're
doing something else."

Yikes. Getting personal already
. Of
all the things he could have asked, this was probably the
safest—not about my past, my mom or any big secrets—but it was
still uncomfortable. It was one thing for him to know I wanted to
be an author. It was a whole different thing to admit I was
actually doing it when it would likely be an epic failure.

But I had to play fair, so I forced myself to
say it. "Actually, both. I'm writing a novel. Sophia thinks it'll
get published and she's paying my way so I can write and still go
to college."

"Wow. A novel, huh? That's impressive."

"Yeah, well, don't get too impressed. It's
not even done yet."

"Can I read it?" he asked eagerly.

I thought of the childhood game, Mother May
I, and felt like he asked to take one giant leap forward when he
was only allowed baby steps. If I gave him my writing, I may as
well give him my whole soul. I didn't let anyone read most of my
writing, not even my mom. Her assertion of my talent was based on
essays and short stories I'd written for school. Sharing the
outline with her had been difficult. Letting go of the actual book
would be a huge leap. I knew I'd have to take it eventually, but
not yet.

"Hmm…baby steps, okay?" I answered.

He squeezed my hand. "Of course."

We both fell silent as the sun began its
descent behind the water. Tristan wrapped his arm around my waist
and pulled me between his legs, my back against him. I drew my
knees up and he curled his body around mine, his chin resting on my
shoulder, his face right next to mine. His tangy-sweet breath made
my head buzz pleasantly. He draped his arms around my shoulders and
held my hands in each of his, entwining our fingers. That strange
electric current flowed around and between us as we gazed out over
the water, completely silent except for our hearts. I could feel
both racing. I was grateful the beach had nearly emptied by
then.

"Lovely," he breathed in my ear.

"Yes, it is," I whispered, afraid anything
louder would blow the moment away.

"I didn't mean the sunset," he murmured, his
lips close enough to tickle my cheek.

He let go of my left hand and slid the back
of his fingers along my jaw from my chin to my ear. I turned toward
him. The emerald green of his eyes shone brightly and the gold
flecks danced in the reflection of the setting sun. His lips pulled
into a small but tantalizing smile. And I knew then what was
coming. My heart flipped erratically.

His hand cupped around my face and he gently
pulled it up closer to his. He hesitated, still gazing intently
into my eyes, his face less than an inch from mine, our noses
nearly touching. The rest of the world disappeared as his eyes held
mine. The sounds of the waves and the seagulls faded out, so all I
heard was my heart pounding and his thumb lightly brushing against
my cheek. He must have heard my heart whirring like a hummingbird's
wings. He smiled and his fingers brushed my neck as he held his
other hand to my chest as if to quiet my heart. It sped even
faster.

He leaned in and his lips barely touched
mine.

A spark jumped between us and we both
flinched.

Then we quickly moved into each other and he
pressed his lips against mine, soft and full, moving tenderly but
longingly. I opened my mouth slightly and tasted his delicious
scent and breath on my tongue. The electricity charged through my
body and warmed places that had never been so warm before. My heart
stopped and I forgot how to breathe. We both finally pulled
back.

"Can you tell what I'm feeling now?" I
whispered breathlessly.

"I'm not sure." He smiled and his eyes
sparkled brightly. "Let me try again."

He held the back of my head gently in his
hand and I placed my hands on the sides of his face and closed my
eyes as he kissed me a second time. The world faded out again.
Nothing else mattered. Nothing else even existed but Tristan and
me. My fingers slid into his hair and I pulled him into me, desire
rising in my chest as the tip of his tongue lightly traced my
bottom lip. Our mouths crushed against each other, our tongues
tasting the other as if they'd been longing for this moment. I
pressed into him, nearly giving in to the sudden and ridiculous
urge to climb up and attack him.
Losing control!
I forgot to
breathe again and finally had to pull away.

I looked into his eyes and froze.

Chapter 7

The gold sparks in Tristan's eyes had turned
to flames and for just an instant—not even a second—he actually
looked more than just dangerous but…
murderous
. Then the
flames disappeared and his eyes filled with pain. In one swift
motion, he closed them and turned his head away from me. There was
something wrong—I hadn't imagined it—something going on in his
head. But the frightening look in his eyes was gone so quickly, I
didn't know exactly what I saw, except for the sadness that
followed.

I dropped my hands into my lap and leaned
against him. I could hear his heart pounding hard against his ribs
and I wished I could do something for him. I tried to slow my own
heart and breathing, tried to regain control, and his breathing
told me he was doing the same. His arms held me tightly, as if he
was afraid to let go. We sat completely still until most of the sky
turned dark blue. We lay back down on the blanket, his arms still
around me, and we stared silently at the stars as they blinked to
life one at a time.

Then both of our stomachs growled, ruining
everything. We laughed, sat up and started gathering our things. He
seemed to have recovered from whatever thought or memory had hurt
him so much. I wondered if he'd ever tell me about it, but I didn't
dare ask now. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

We cooked dinner together at the cottage. I
taught myself to cook, with the help of Emeril and Martha, and
quite enjoyed it, but it had never been so much fun as it was with
Tristan. I had to stop to admire his perfectly sliced peppers and
onions. Every piece was exactly the same size and he had done it so
quickly. I was impressed—and intimidated. He cut the prep time in
half and it wasn't long before we sat down to chicken fajitas.

After cleaning up, we watched a movie. He
laughed at the choices I offered, my favorites—
Interview with
the Vampire
,
Lost Boys
,
Willow
and
The
Princess Bride
.

"You seem to have a thing for vampires and
magic."

"Yeah, actually I do," I admitted with a
small smile.

"Really? You like that fantasy stuff?" He
seemed surprised.

"The lore fascinates me. You know…how it got
started, if it was ever based on any kind of truth. I like to
believe there's magic in this world. And that it can be used for
good."

"Hmm…interesting," he muttered. Not in a
sarcastic way, but like he found my fascination unexpected. His
brows furrowed for an instant and then his face relaxed. "Let's go
with
Willow
. It won't give me nightmares."

I laughed. I had a hard time believing scary
movies bothered him. "If you're that much of a wuss, then let's
watch…" I scanned the other movies on the shelf. "…
Legends of
the Fall
."

"Oh, no. That would be the worst nightmare of
all."

I gave him a questioning look as I slid the
movie into the player. I used to have a crush on Tristan Ludlow,
Brad Pitt's character, but hated how he left his loved ones. It
wasn't exactly nightmare material, though.

"I might dream of you with that other
Tristan." He pulled me onto the couch next to him and put his arms
around me. "And that would be horrifying."

He nestled his face into my hair at my neck.
I smiled.

"I prefer this one."

"This one prefers you, too," he
whispered.

He leaned back on the couch, pulling me with
him. I felt so comfortable, so relaxed in his arms. I couldn't
understand now why I had panicked at the idea of being alone with
him. Nothing felt more natural.

"Lexi," Tristan murmured as he stirred on the
couch. "Wake up, Lexi."

"Huh?" I sat up, a little disoriented. "Is
the movie over?"

"I think it was over a while ago. We both
fell asleep."