Private Affair (The Private Series) (32 page)

He gives me a pained look, licks his lips and starts again, “Before he could even touch you Tony charged him, throwing him across the room. When he thought he was unconscious, he check on you. You were knocked out, when he saw the marks on your face and your torn shirt and your half removed...” He stops and forces back the bile reaching the back of his throat. “He was thrown off the bed and Dave had a gun on him.”

I gasped and cover my mouth, “Tony? What happened? Is he okay?”

Ben nods, “He managed to get the gun from him and in the struggle the gun went off twice. The first was Towers shoulder then next was Dave’s chest.”

“He’s gone?” I ask in a whisper.

Ben nods, “I just wish I was the one to end him.”

I wrap my arms around him and hold him as tight as my wired arms would allow me. “Where is Tony now?”

“I got there when the cops arrived. I had explained everything about the past and how you had gone missing. It was self-defense and with Dave’s record they believed every word.”

“Because it was the truth.” I assure him and a little bit for myself. “So he’s not in jail?”

He shakes his head no, “He is here in the hospital for the shot to his shoulder and he should be able to leave tomorrow.” His tone has changed when he speaks of Tony, he doesn’t seem callused like he used to. Before he always seemed like he was ready to jump him and now, well now he seems like he likes the guy.

“Can I see him?” I ask still leery about his feelings of Tony. “To thank him.” I want to know more about what happened.

He nods, “In a bit my love. We need to talk about some things, such as your Mom and if you want me to contact her? She should know Tess.”

I feel the dreaded pang of choked up tears and sobs starting to climb again. To admit it to someone else is hard enough, but to my Mom, now that is going to wreck me. “I know. But I am not ready yet. I just want to be held in your arms for a while longer.”

He pulls me back in close and we settle in my hospital bed. I miss the feeling of hope and excitement of the future. I miss my day dreams of seeing Ben playing with our little one and kissing little baby feet.

I feel my head begin to pound again and I cringe and start to coil up, Ben sensing this shifts so I can lay down more comfortably and calls in a nurse. She inserts a needle into my IV line and tells me that I should be able to relax soon enough and to get some more rest. Ben returns to the bed and kisses my cheek bone softly careful not to hurt me. I feel the relief from the medicine kick in and I start to drift off into a blissful sleep.

I wake up to hear two familiar male voices across the room. I slowly gain focus and see Ben and Tony talking. No tension, but just conversation. They see me and stop talking. Ben comes over eagerly and asks me if I need anything, I shake my head no in response. I lift my hand up and wave an injured Tony to my bedside. He has his arm in a sling and I can see a thick bandage under his black tee.

“How are you feeling?” He asks me. His eyes look me over and he looks overwhelmed with sadness.

I shrug my shoulders and frown. “Just hurting. Everywhere.” I rest my hand over my heart, because that’s the only part of me that is truly crushed.

He lowers his eyes and gives me single nod. “I am sorry Tess. I feel like this is all my fault.”

“How could you even think that?”

“Because I made you do the show, I made you come on tour. I tagged you in those photos and he tracked you. If I had known…” He shifts his eyes from side to side and I can see him start to well up.

“He still would have gotten to me.” I look to Tony then to Ben, “Even if you were with me every moment of everyday, he would have been watching and waiting. There is no point for anyone to feel guilty.” Both men look at each other, “What?” I ask.

“How can you be so strong?” Tony asks me amazed. Shocked even.

“I’m not. I am afraid to keep feeling about this, any of it. If I think about it or feel about it too long I will crumple up and die. I need to think about others before myself, if I think about myself and what happened I may never stop. It will consume me.” I am pushing out each word, trying not to cry. “But I also need to know more about what happened…”

Tony looks to Ben for approval. And once he gets it he pulls up a chair next to my bedside. Resting his elbows on the crisp sterile blankets he balls his fists into one another and taps his lips. “When Ben got to me and was looking for you, I knew I wouldn’t stop until I did or he did. I started asking everyone if they had seen a little pink haired girl around and when I finally got to the right person, they had told me that a guy had a small woman with the pink hair over his shoulder. He claimed that you were his girlfriend and you had too much to drink. The guy didn’t think anything of it and shrugged it off. He told me which direction he went in, so I went with it. I asked more people along the way until I was led downstairs into a large storage room. That’s when I knew you were in there. I knew what was at stake and that only fueled the fire. The door was locked and it shouldn’t have been, I know that. Once I got inside I … I saw him about to hurt you so I went after him. One thing led to another and the gun came out and I took a hit then he did. Once I saw where the shot landed on him I untied you and carried you out of there. Calling 911 and Ben on my way up.”

I sit there in stunned silence. “Did he…?”

Ben rubs my shoulder, “No baby, he didn’t.” Relieved that he didn’t get his way with me, I take a deep relieved breath, shaky, but relieved. “He knocked you out with chloroform though and that’s why you were out for a while when he did have you. But he was so twisted he waited for you to regain consciousness to try. Thankfully Towers, I mean Tony got to you. Apparently he was getting impatient…fucking ass hole.” He growls.

“I am just really sorry about your loss Tess, yours too Ben.” Tony tells us.

“Thanks mate. And thank you for saving my girl when I couldn’t.” I know that hurts Ben the most to admit. Just as much as it hurts me to have it happen. Dave could have broken all my bones and cut me up, if I could have only saved…

I look out my hospital window and plainly say, “I want to go back to sleep now. I just can’t…” I shut back down on the turn of a switch. I just can’t right now.

We have been back home for a week and I haven’t left the house yet. I can’t bring myself to see happy people doing happy things, with their happy families.

We, or more like Ben told my Mom everything that had happened and he tried to get me to open up about it, but I just cried and she held me. Just like when I was a little girl and I fell off the swing and twisted my ankle, if then I knew there were much greater pains in the world than a twisted ankle.

James and Erin came over and I was able to start to talk about it with them, but had a hard time. I couldn’t stand to see the look on their faces, the eyes that just screamed pity. That’s the worst look I have ever been given in my life. Erin told me she would be there for me when I am ready to talk.

I told Ben to not tell anyone else, including his father and Gwen. I didn’t want anyone else to know. I can’t take any more of those stares. Ben gave them a sad excuse that I was just sick from the flu from all of my traveling. Gwen was getting antsy about the wedding planning and kept on trying to contact me, but Ben would answer my phone for me and told her to let me get better first. After a couple days it finally sank in.

But Caroline … she is a smart girl. When I wouldn’t answer my messages, she just came over. She pushed right by her big brother and came into our room. I was buried in our bed and I had the curtains drawn. She comes barreling in, whips the curtains open and yanks the covers off of me. “Time to get up! Let’s go! Time to get moving!”

Ben stomps in and tugs her by her elbow and I can hear him yelling at her in the other room. I pull the covers back on and bury my head into my pillow. I hear soft footsteps enter back into the room. “I am sorry Tess…I didn’t know.” Caroline’s sweet voice stutters.

I feel a tear trail down my cheek and sink into the pillow beneath me. She moves around to the other side of the bed and climbs in. “Tess, I know I don’t know what you’re going through, but you were there for me when I didn’t want anyone, so here I am … I am your someone you don’t want around and I am staying right here.”

I silently let tears just break free, I am turned away from her so she can’t see my face. When my crying becomes not so silent any longer she wraps her arms around me from behind and holds me. How is she only sixteen going on seventeen?

Each day seems to be gradually getting a little easier. I am making quick runs to the market but nothing more. It seems like every woman is pregnant or has a new born. So I try to limit my exposure right now. Ben has been understanding and hasn’t pushed me just yet. He is always there for me, he actually took a week off from work just to be with me.

I have messages on my phone that I won’t answer. There are alerts on my Facebook and I just don’t want to see the hope you’re feeling better, because people assume that I have the flu or something.

On this one specific afternoon it’s raining and I am sitting on the sofa just watching it rain outside. Nothing is on and it’s almost too quiet, but that’s how I have enjoyed it as of late. Ben has made me breakfast, but I don’t feel like eating. Haven’t felt much like eating for a couple weeks now. I know I am losing weight, because even my favorite pair of sweatpants are fitting looser. He even offers me coffee, but I don’t want to look at it. It’s a reminder that I can now have it.

Ben left for a little while, told me he had to get some stuff that we needed. When he returns I haven’t moved from the couch, I had just covered myself up in a blanket. He shakes himself out of his coat and hangs it to dry. Pulling something out of his bag he hands me a flat square package. I know this shape and I can tell it’s a CD. I set it down on my lap, “You didn’t have to buy me anything.”

He comes around lifts my feet and sits next to me and rests my feet on his lap. Sprawling his left arm over the back of the couch he smiles, “I didn’t buy this for you.”

I eye him and he tells me to just open it, so I start to tear open the familiar packaging. I get all of the paper off and I am greeted with Tony’s face. Holy shit! “His CD is out already?” I ask Ben in shock.

“Nope, the mate wanted you to have the first copy.” My heart swells once again and I am feeling the quickening heat buildup in my eyes. Moisture gathering and my tears pool over. I look from Ben to the CD, it’s a black and white photo of Tony on a stool on a stage, holding his acoustic guitar. He has a plain black bandana tied around on his head, pushing his hair up in the front. He even has his signature guy liner on. I lightly giggle at the image, who knew a guy could look better in eye makeup than me?

I turn the square plastic case over to see the back and it’s all white and just lists the songs. Simple and classic just like Tony. I know all the songs on here except one. The last one. It’s titled: Pink Haired Girl. MY stomach drops and I instantly look to Ben, crap this is going to piss him off. He sees my worried look and sighs, “He asked me if it was okay and I allowed it. Clearly you two are close and he is just a good friend to you, I can see that. I am grateful for what he did, saving you. Besides there is a little surprise in that track for you.” He winks.