Private Affair (The Private Series) (2 page)

She
has
to be okay.

I hold onto to Ben’s hand while we take off and he keeps his eyes closed and head tipped back. I watch him, he takes in deep steadying breathes. Once we reach our elevation and the seatbelt light clicks off, I undo my belt and I climb into his lap.

An older woman scowls at me, but I could care less. I could care less that we were in first class.

I hold both of my hands on the sides of his face and look him in the eyes. I swipe my thumbs over his thin stubble, which he has been keeping since I told him I like it so much. He offers me a small side smile and gives me a soft kiss.

I take in a deep breath and sigh as I rest my head on his shoulder. He has his hand on my lower back and rubs it lightly, it’s a few minutes before he speaks, I can tell he is deep in thought.

“I don’t understand…” Ben starts. “She seemed happy, didn’t she?”

I position myself so I can see him clearly, to try and read him. “She did, but that doesn’t always mean anything.”

Ben scrunches his eyebrows, “I mean I know she used to go to therapy, but that stopped a couple of years ago. The therapist said she had made great progress. The doctors must be mistaken. Maybe someone did this to her. I should have listened to you, when you brought it up so many times.”

“Ben, we don’t even know what happened yet. Whether it was intentional or not, we don’t know if it was an overdose or physical harm.” I don’t want to see him over thinking things until we have more information.

He nods and roughly scratches at his chin, “I know.” I lean up and give him a deeper kiss. His lips are tense at first and soften as I work at them. It doesn’t take long until his mouth opens and I feel him slip his tongue between my lips.

I let out a soft moan and his hand comes up and holds the back of my head, driving his thrusting tongue deeper into my mouth. That’s when we hear the older woman clear her throat.

When Ben pulls back, he finally has a big smile on his face and gives me my favorite wink. He lets me go and I move back into my seat. I guess there is always
one
thing that can take his mind off of any situation.

A female flight attendant is at Ben’s right with a small cart full of bottles and snacks. I look up at her and she is in her mid-thirties with strawberry blonde hair, she is pretty. “Can I offer you a drink or something to eat?”

We look up at her and she turns pink when Ben looks at her. I sigh, because I know the feeling all too well.

“We will both have a rum and coke please.” He tells her and her cheeks go bright red once she hears his English accent ooze out.

My man knows me too well. It is early in the afternoon, so I guess it’s okay to have a drink. Then again with the stress of the situation and being stuck on the plane for another five hours I think we deserve it. She hands us our drinks and let us know that they will serve us light dinner in a couple of hours. We say thank you and she moves on to the older woman, who we keep on offending apparently.

I opted to keep my purse on me and when we sat down I put it under my seat. I lean down and I pull it to my lap. Ben is eyeing me, watching what I am doing. When I unzip it and pull out a small package of candy he rolls his eyes and laughs at me.

“Holding out on me?” he asks.

I tear into my package of Swedish Fish and pop one in my mouth, “What?” I ask.

He opens his mouth waiting for me to share, I go to put one in his mouth then I quickly toss it in my own. His eyes darken and I know I just started a game. He takes the tip of his tongue and teasingly traces his bottom lip, I stop chewing for a second in awe of that mouth.

“Give me a piece.” His voice is low.

I lean in closer to him and tell him, “Oh I will, just not here. Pretty sure the old lady would have a stroke.”

His mouth pops open and he smirks at me, “naughty girl.”

I feel my belly clench at his words and I know if we don’t stop this little game, we will probably be banned from flying the airline again, because of indecent exposure.

I take a red fish and pop it in his mouth and kiss him.

I must have dozed off for a bit, because when I open my eyes and look out the window the sky is darkening. Ben has his hand on my leg and is rubbing his thumb against my jeans. I turn to look at him and he has his eyes closed and resting. My heart aches at the pain I know he is feeling and not having answers is slowly killing him.

I put my hand on top of his and his eyes flutter open and he looks at me, “Hey, Punky.”

“Hey yourself, how are you holding up?” I ask stretching my neck.

He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it lightly, “I am always okay when you are next to me.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Caroline. Growing up. Remembering the things we used to do, the things I did for her … the things I haven’t done.”

“She is going to be okay Ben. You have to believe that.” I squeeze his hand tight.

All he gives me is a tight smile. “Have I told you about the day my Dad brought Caroline home from the hospital … after my mother’s death?”

Too stunned I just shake my head no.

“Mum, passed away within hours after giving birth to Caroline, she had lost so much blood. They really did try to save her, but her heart gave out. She never got a chance to hold Caroline; yes they put her on her chest right after, but soon after that’s when she started to crash. I was devastated about my mother and I thought I had felt hate for my new baby sister, because she had taken my beautiful mother away. I refused to go back to the hospital after losing my Mum, I didn’t want to see Caroline. She was able to come home a few days following her birth. So when Dad brought her home I didn’t even want to come out of my bedroom. So he brought her to me.

I got angry and started to yell and I woke her up and she started crying. He tried to calm her down but she wasn’t having it. He didn’t leave my room either. Tired of hearing her cry I took her, and she stopped crying. That’s when I looked at her eyes. She had Mum’s eyes and I lost it. I dropped to my bed and I held my baby sister, from that point on I made promise to keep her safe.”

Ben has a tear running down his cheek, I wipe it away and he continues, “I failed on my promise.”

“No you didn’t Ben. You had no idea that she would get hurt either accidentally or purposely. You can’t blame yourself.” I am at this point holding his face close to mine. “Let’s just get to the hospital as soon as we land and find out what’s going on, okay?”

“Okay.”

We arrive at the hospital as fast as the taxi driver could get us here. We are the first of the family to arrive; I assume Jack and Gwen got a flight as soon as Ben called him. We are waiting at the information desk for the woman to give us Caroline’s room number and when she does Ben grabs my hand and we head to the nearest elevator.

We were directed to the patient wing and were told that she was recently moved out of the ICU, this has to be a good thing, if she isn’t there any longer. I know it made me release this breath I had been holding. I could see Ben’s body relax also.

We make it to her room and Ben pauses before going in. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beating rapidly, he is nervous about seeing what condition his baby sister is in. “Hey,” I get his attention.

Looking down at me he nods, takes my hand in his and we walk through the door.

We find a nurse in lilac scrubs, writing on a clipboard she turns when she hears us enter. “Hello, are you family?”

“I’m her brother,” he answers her while trying to look around her to get a look at Caroline.

She nods, “I am Sara your sisters nurse for the night, has the doctor spoken to you yet?”

“No, we just got in from the airport.”

“I see, I will page him immediately. She is sleeping right now, but she is doing well. Have a seat and the doctor will be right in.”

We move closer to the bed and tell the nurse thank you.

Ben steps to Caroline’s left and I stand beside him, never letting go of his hand. He is looking her over, trying to find answers or signs of what had happened. I start to tear up when he leans in and gives her a kiss on the forehead and whispers to her that we’re there.

We hear a knock on the door and a woman in her early forties and in a white coat glides through. “Hello, you must be Caroline’s brother, I am doctor Beth Parkers … please why don’t you have a seat I will explain everything to you.”

We make our way to a small round table in front of the window with four chairs; Ben pulls one out for me … always the gentleman.

I look over at Caroline and she is still sound asleep. Ben introduces himself and me, “What happened?” He asks.

Dr. Parkers opens up a medical file and begins, “Your sister was brought in with large lacerations on her left arm. She had lost a tremendous amount of blood, before she was brought in.”

Ben interjects by shaking his head, “Are you telling me she slit her wrists?” The horror on his face and by the way he said it makes me slap my hands to my mouth and choke back a sob.

“That is what it appears to be right now. Although, upon stitching her we noticed quite a few deep scars on both of her arms and a few on her hips. It looks as if she has been cutting herself for some time. Is anyone in your family aware of this problem?”

“No!” Ben snaps at her, “If we knew anything about this we wouldn’t be here right now, because she would have been found help to prevent this from happening!”

I put one hand on his back and rub it slowly, trying to calm him down. He drops his head into his hands then between his legs. Dr. Parkers obviously sees he needs a minute, as she stands Ben kicks the table leg slamming it to the wall below the window.

“How bad is it?” He stands and asks the doctor.

“She needed over three pints of blood via transfusion and she has thirty four stitches. Like I said Mr. Mitchell, it was pretty severe when she came in. She needs her rest, so please allow her that and calm down.”

Grabbing a fist full of his hair he nods in agreement and steps back next to me. “How long will she be asleep?” I ask.

“We have her chemically induced with sleep medication, to allow the blood to ease in. and to keep her comfortable. Her arm is going to be in a lot of pain when she wakes, but we want to wait to see how bad it is for her, before we manage her morphine. I see here on her chart that your father is her primary care giver, does he know of the situation?”

“Yes, he is on his way here from Seattle right now.” Ben assures her.

She closes the file and stops in the door way, “I will be back to check in on her in the morning. I would like to speak with your father then.” Then she is gone out the door.

I move in front of Ben and I give him a tight hug, burring my face into his gray thermal shirt and let silent tears fall. His hand is on the back of my neck and I feel his chest start to heave. We stand there in the silent hospital room, where the only sounds one could hear is the beeping of Caroline’s heart monitor and our muffled sobs.