Prisoner of the Queen (Tales From the Tudor Court) (38 page)

I
recalled little of the funeral ceremony. It was pious, officiated by the new Bishop of Salisbury, John Jewel. I was chief mourner, followed by my tiny sister, Mary. We rode in a grand procession that befitted my mother’s station through Richmond to Westminster Abbey. After the service, read in English, Mother was buried in St. Edmund’s Chapel at the Abbey. Mary and I held hands, and I whispered the words that would soon be engraved as her epitaph:

Nor grace, nor splendor, nor royal name,

Nor widespread fame can aught avail;

All, all have vanished here. True worth alone

Survives the funeral pyre and silent tomb.

Mary and I were all that was left now, a sad duo if ever there was one. Two princesses of the blood, one shrunken and ill-formed, the other
ill-fated to love and lose. Truly what had Her Majesty gained in keeping me at arm’s length and alone?

Nothing.

When I returned to court, a short note was left for me from Ned.

My Dearest Lady,

She stood in black said Troylus he,

That with her look hath wounded me.

She stood in black say I also

That with her eye, hath bred my woe.

Seeing you grieve for you
r mother has left my heart in pain. I would see you smile again.

Your loyal heart,

Ned

His note settled my misgivings. I wanted to smile. To love. I would take my fate into my own hands. Just as my mother did—perhaps if I could take one thing from her life to live by, that would be it.

November 29, 1560

A thousand butterflies twisted and turned in my belly. Sweat collected on my brow, and I could not stop fidgeting. I did not recall being this nervous when I married Henry, and I had
not
wanted to wed that day.

Today was
a day I’d dreamed about. A secret day… For there were only four of us who knew so far, and the priest would make five when Jane found him. There was something about it being clandestine that stole my breath. From the beginning, Elizabeth had not acknowledged my betrothal to Ned, despite her sister having approved and both of our mothers being pleased for the union. Then again, Queen Elizabeth had also taken away many privileges that Mary had given me. The only thing remaining the same was my being housed at court, my eighty pounds per annum and that I was sometimes given the privilege, depending on her mood, to be a lady of the bedchamber.

A frown creased my brow
, and I pressed it away with my fingertips. Today was not the day to worry over such things. For the first time, I would take for myself what I wanted. I would let happiness into my life and cherish it, even if I had to do so in secret.

A soft knock landed on my door, and
I called for the knocker to enter. Jane opened the door a crack, and I beckoned her to come inside.

She stepped in
, and I waved away Mrs. Helen, who had fitted my headdress securely with pins and had been putting the finishing touches on my hair. My longtime companion curtsied and left Jane and I in privacy.

“It is done. The
queen is headed off to Eltham for the night, and she has excused you for having a toothache and me to take care of you. Truth be told, she did look relieved you would not be accompanying her.”

I was too happy to care that Her Majesty did not want me to go. I would be married today!

“You look beautiful, Kat.” Jane’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and she pressed her fingers to her lips. “I cannot believe that in under an hour you will be my sister.”

I put my arms out, and Jane came forward. We enfolded each other in a sisterly embrace, both of us breathing
deeply and blinking rapidly so that tears would not fall. I recalled another Jane whom I’d wished to embrace in similar fashion on my last wedding day, and my eyes stung anew. My sister would not approve of Ned and I marrying in secret. Whose side would she have taken—mine or Elizabeth’s?

But I could not think
only of my sister and what she would have done. For I’d made that pact five years earlier with myself. And seen it through. My faith was my love, and I had not strayed.

“You have no regrets
.” Jane’s tone was more of a statement than a question.

“None.” I pulled away and let her see the genuine happiness in my smile. “Your brother is the best man I
’ve ever known, and I have prayed night and day that he would be my husband. Today is that day.”

“Are you not worried for Elizabeth
’s reaction?” Jane wrinkled her nose, the thought of the queen’s reaction obviously unpleasant.

Not wanting to frighten Jane, I said,
“I admit to a bit of fear when she finds out. But we shall keep it quiet for as long as we can. Perhaps in the meantime Ned will gain more support from the council, and I can warm myself to her again. Perhaps then we may have hopes of her agreeing to the idea of a match between him and me.”

“Sh
e will not like being deceived. I know this was my idea—and, really, you have no other choice since the two of you have already…”

“
I know, and no, she will not be pleased. But there is no other choice. Ned and I are both of marriageable age, and as we speak, Elizabeth is attempting to arrange my marriage to that belligerent Scot. In less than a year she would have me shipped north. There are worse fates than her wrath.”

Jane nodded, her eyes sparkling with pleasure. “You are indeed the perfect match for my brother. Your spir
it and tenacity match his.”

“Will your mother be displeased?”

Jane shook her head emphatically. “Who do you suppose gave me the idea of a secret wedding? Now, I must admit she did not mention the two of you, and she did say the queen would never agree and that she would never condone it. Nevertheless, she did say something to the effect of two people who love each other, if they cannot get the masses to agree, should marry behind closed doors.”

The
duchess. She had had to play a part in everything. She was not one to wait around for fate to find her and instead had made her own destiny and saw to that of her children. Of course she would have had to save herself by saying she would never condone such a plan. I wondered if she, too, had grown tired of waiting for us to marry. Nearly seven years had passed since first the topic was broached.

“Come now,
soon-to-be Lady Hertford. My brother awaits, and a priest must still be found. All of the servants have been ushered off for the next couple of hours so you might have some privacy.”

I felt the heat rise
in my cheeks, for I knew what that privacy might be. We should be wedded and bedded this very afternoon. Then Jane and I would be bundled back to Her Majesty’s court before my absence was questioned.

We pulled on our cloaks, making sure our hoods covered all of our hair and faces.
Jane threaded my hand through her arm and walked to the door, opening it to reveal a dark and empty corridor.

I took a deep breath
and left my chamber. Several steps down the corridor to the circular stone stair and then we walked through the palace gardens. The sun was out but hidden behind clouds. A chill wind swept its way up my skirts to freeze my bare flesh. We had made it this far. I was really going through with the secret wedding. Through the orchard, the trees all bare of leaves, and no birds singing us praises, we descended the steps to the river. We walked with hurried steps along the sand as the tide was out, and taking a barge would have only called attention to us. No one must know what we were about, and eyes were everywhere.

M
y nerves were so frazzled, I barely felt my slippers sinking into the sand or the slight dampness of moisture collecting around my toes. I glanced at the vast gardens of those houses that backed the Thames. The trees were bare of leaves accept for a few brown hangers-on. The flowerbeds were mostly brownish, too, except for the hedge bushes that kept their vibrant green colors all year round. Did the rotten scents of the Thames reach into those gardens? I crinkled my nose, knowing that if I had been sitting among pretty spring blooms I wouldn’t have wished to smell decaying things.

We made a left onto Canon Row
, leaving behind the scent of the butchers’ slops and other foul wastes tossed into the Thames. The reality of what was about to come struck me suddenly, and I stopped for a moment.

Jane turned and beckoned me
farther. “Come, we cannot stop.”

I nodded and hurried to catch up.

Our hoods covered our faces, and our cloaks covered our gowns. To those who passed us, we nodded, and our simple coverings let us blend in quite well with the common folk. A few merchants yelled out their wares, and a stray dog jogged alongside us, nipping at Jane’s ankles, but she shooed it away.

Jane stopped in front of an impressive stone house
that was three stories high with beautiful glass windows that reflected the morning light.

“This is Hertford House. Soon to be your house. Are you ready?”

I stared up at the stones, my breath catching with excitement. “Yes.” I kept my voice as steady as I could and squared my shoulders. I was more than ready.

Rather
than knocking, Jane opened the door, and we entered unannounced. Ned waited eagerly in his drawing room. He wore his finest doublet of black velvet, broidered with cloth of cold and crusted with rubies and pearls. Upon seeing me, his eyes lit up, and he stepped forward, taking my hands in his. He smiled widely and pressed his lips to my fingers. “Good morning, wife.”

“Not yet she is,” Jane replied. “I shall return momentarily with the priest.”

Jane stepped from the room, and we heard the click of the front door close behind her.

Ned chuckled. “She will drag the first priest she sees inside.”

“No doubt.” I laughed. We were like two giddy children eating comfits without permission.

Ned leaned in and kissed me soundly. “
‘Twill not be long before I can say I have the right to kiss you thusly.”

“And hopefully not long before Her Majesty gives us her blessing.”

Jane returned with a disheveled priest, as if she’d roused him from bed. He held his prayer book in hand and a leg of roasted meat in the other. He looked distracted, nervous.

“I am to wed you, my lord, to this yo
ung lady?” The priest examined us both, his vexation apparent. “And ’tis with permission from the crown, I assume. You are not marrying because you have already compromised this gentlewoman, are you?”

We nodded and shook
our heads at all of his questions until he was satisfied. Then he tossed his leg of meat to one of Ned’s hunting dogs and flipped through the pages of his prayer book. The ceremony was short and sweet, and when over, Jane handed the priest a very large purse filled with coins—obviously his price for performing such a clandestine exchange of vows.

When the priest exited, Jane offered her congratulations and had a couple of the servants who
’d returned bring in trays of comfits, meats and wine. But Ned and I could barely eat a morsel or drink a drop. Our eyes were locked on each other, smiles frozen upon our faces. We’d done it! I was his and he was mine.

“I shall leave you two for a time…” Jane continued to speak, but I could not hear what she said.

The moment had come—the time to consummate our marriage and not be afraid. Ned led me to the stairs, and those few servants who had returned early ducked their gazes as we ascended.

When we reached the top
of the stairs, Ned gripped my hand in his, and we ran toward his room. He slammed the door behind us, and laughing, kissing and touching, we hastily disrobed. A small fire crackled in the hearth, emitting the only light as his shutters were closed and no candles lit. He carried me to the bed and laid me down, a pin from my hood catching on one of the silken pillows—we had not even bothered to remove it!

“I shall make love to my wife in nothing but her stockings and hood. And every time hence, when I look at you with your hood atop your head, I will remember this moment.”

“Ned! You are wicked… I wear my hood everywhere.”

“I know,” he said with a wink.

The next several hours were filled with us making love on first one side of the bed and then the other, Ned atop of me. Then he showed me how to make love astride his hips. Sated and spent, we lay, limbs entwined, my head resting on his shoulder. My fingers danced circles over his chest, and Ned stroked my back.

“I do believe I shall enjoy being married,” I said with a smile.

“Your words wound me, my lady.”

“Why?” I asked
, propping up on an elbow.

“I should think you find me worthy
only in bed.”

I let out a lusty laugh. “Well…”

“You little tease,” he said, pulling me down on top of him for a kiss. “I shall prove to you over the years I am worthy of much more than making love.”