Princess, Without Cover (3 page)

There was no mystery as to where her mother stood, however.  She was an open book… just like always.

“You stupid little slut!” Jillian’s shriek broke the uncomfortable silence. “Couldn’t you keep your legs closed?” 

“Jillian…” Her father began, but her mother impatiently cut him off.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Randall.  Grow a set of balls!”  Jillian snapped, before focusing her irritation on Sydney again, her cold eyes glittering with annoyance.

“You’re a disgrace!”

Sydney felt tears well up and focused hard on not letting them spill over as she stared at her reflection in the gleaming mahogany table. She looked incredibly pale against the rich hue of the wood.  She said a quick silent prayer that she wouldn’t throw up in front of everyone.  Her stomach was still unstable even though she had nibbled on a handful of crackers.

“She wasn’t the only one involved.” Christian’s low voice broke through her concentration as he spoke for the first time, braving Jillian’s wrath.  Sydney raised her head in surprise and met his steady gaze. “I was there, too.” 

Mrs. Price laid her hand on her son’s arm, a clear signal that she wanted him to be silent, but he shrugged it off.  Sydney’s heart sped up as she realized that he might support her, even though he had been blind-sided with the news.  She wished that he would get up and walk around to her side of the table, but he didn’t.  He continued to sit like a stone next to his parents.

“It doesn’t matter.  This is a non-issue,” Jillian announced matter-of-factly. “I’m going to make an appointment at the clinic for her tomorrow and we’ll have it taken care of.  Life will go on as normal with no one the wiser.” Sydney’s stomach began rapidly sinking and she gulped.  She glanced down and saw that her hands were instinctively splayed protectively across her abdomen and in that one instant, she knew that she couldn’t have it
taken care of.
  It was hers and she wanted it. And the only advocate it had… was her. 

“Mom, I don’t want an abortion.” Her voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible and everyone strained to hear her.

Jillian’s teeth snapped together as she whipped her perfectly styled head around to stare at her daughter.

“What?”

The single word that Jillian hissed between her teeth resonated throughout the large elaborate room and bounced off of every possible corner. Sydney steeled herself to go head-to-head with her mother… an unprecedented event.  No one was usually so foolish.

“I don’t want to kill my baby.  I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” Sydney dared a glance at Christian and found him to be just as surprised as everyone else.  Her resolve wavered for a brief second at the astounded look on his face.

“Sydney.” Christian’s expression was puzzled, but still as gentle as his voice.  “Syd, you can’t keep it.  It would ruin everything.  Not just for your parents, but for you. And me, too.  You’re supposed to go to Columbia in a couple of months.  I’m going to Princeton.  We can’t do that pregnant.”

She knew he was being logical and smart.  But her emotions weren’t complying with logic at the moment. She made up her mind, instantly cementing her decision. She couldn’t kill it. Her resolve strengthened. 

“I know, Chris,” she murmured. “And I won’t ask you to do anything, I promise.  I won’t even list you on the birth certificate, if you don’t want me to.  I’ll do everything alone.  But I can’t kill it.  You can’t ask me to do that.” 

“Sydney, you just said it yourself.  Right now, it’s an
it.
A mass of cells.  A nothing.  Don’t risk our futures for that.  Please.”

Christian’s voice was more subdued than she had ever heard it as he pleaded with her.  When she looked into his somber eyes, she recognized the fear that she saw there and her heart broke.  For him.  Because he hadn’t asked for this any more than she had.

“Chris, I mean it.  I won’t involve you at all.  I’ll do it myself.  It’s my decision.”

Her voice was barely audible, a mere whisper.  She knew that if she spoke any louder, she would cry. She took a deep breath to ward off the tears.  It didn’t work.  She was teetering on the edge of breaking down and it wouldn’t take much to make her lose it.  

“Princess,” her father began, but at Jillian’s icy glare, he firmed up his tone. 

“Sydney, this isn’t only about you.  You are not only risking
your
future but also mine and your mother’s.  And Christian’s.  You need to think wisely. Please.”

His dark brown eyes implored her and she had to look away, staring at the mahogany panels lining the walls instead while a few rebellious tears broke rank and streamed down her cheeks.   

“Daddy, I’m sorry.  I won’t announce to the world that I’m pregnant.  I’ll be very quiet about it- maybe it won’t raise as much of a stir as you think. Maybe no one will even find out.”  Her voice was hopeful and just slightly naïve as she appealed to her father.  She was nervously tapping her foot against her chair in a furious cadence, something she didn’t even notice as she focused on her father’s face.

“Sydney, you know better than that...” Randall began, but once again, Jillian cut him off short.

“Sydney, I will not stand aside and let you throw away everything that we’ve worked for.  This is not a request. You will get an abortion. Tomorrow.”

Her mother stood up as she spit the words at Sydney.

Sydney started to answer but was interrupted when Christian’s mother spoke for the first time.  Until that moment, both she and Mr. Price had been silent, absorbing the conversation, but not contributing to it.  Now she wasted no time in letting her opinion be known.

“Let’s make no mistake.  No irresponsible little twit is going to compromise my son’s future.  I won’t allow it. I don’t care how much political clout you have or that you have more money than God. I’m sorry, Randall.  This isn’t personal.”  The tiny, dark-haired woman looked at Sydney. “You will either get an abortion or you will sign a legal document releasing Christian from any and all ties to that baby. We want no part of this. This whole situation is ridiculous.”

“Mom…” Christian started to protest.

“Shut up, Christian.  You’ve done enough already. I’m just cleaning up your mess!” his mother snapped.

To Sydney’s intense disappointment, he did as his mother demanded and closed his mouth.  He sat quietly as everyone else pondered Sydney’s future.  His eyes held an apology, but it didn’t stop Sydney’s heart from breaking.  The sense of abandonment she felt was stifling. 

“Mrs. Price, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” she murmured, as an errant tear dripped off the end of her nose and landed onto her clasped hands.  

“That doesn’t change the fact that it
has
happened,” Celine Price answered.  “And now that it has, you have to do what is best for everyone.”  Her dark eyes gentled for a brief second before speaking again.  “Part of growing up is doing the right thing, Sydney.”

“You’ve been raised to know what the right thing is, Sydney,”  her mother interjected.  “And you will do it tomorrow.”

“But Mother… That doesn’t feel like the ‘right thing.’  It feels wrong.  And I must not be the only one who feels that way. There have been other political daughters who have gotten pregnant and had their babies.  Their parents weren’t damaged beyond repair. In fact, they were able to spin it in a positive light. They just focused on how their daughters were taking the high road and being responsible.”

“Oh, please,” Jillian scoffed.  “They only chose ‘the high road’ because they didn’t find out early enough to take care of it or someone else let the information leak to the press.  Stop being so naïve.” 

Talking to her mother was like talking to a brick wall, so Sydney once again appealed to her father.

“Daddy, you’re against abortion. Everyone knows that. I would think that it would be worse for you if your daughter got an abortion and someone found out, rather than if I had the baby.” Her eyes pled with him in earnest and he closed his own for a moment, rubbing his silver tipped temples with manicured fingers before he replied.

“I know, Sydney.  I am against abortion.  But your mother is right.  I’ve worked too hard to get to where I am to allow myself to become damaged by this scandal.  I assure you, no one will find out.  The clinic is very discreet. And it’s better for you. You have your whole life in front of you right now.  You’ll have babies when the time is right for you—and that is not right now. Trust me.”

She wanted to.  But she couldn’t.  She knew that when it boiled down to it, her parents’ top priority was her father’s career.  Hands down, end of story.  Her wants and needs had always been secondary.  And it was time that she took them into her own hands because no one else was going to consider them.  She took a deep breath and faced her parents with her shoulders back and her chin up.

“Mom… Dad… I’m not getting an abortion.  I’m sorry.  It’s not something I can do.  And if you can’t accept that- then I’m going to have to leave.  I won’t kill my baby.”  

She pushed back from the table and glanced at the faces surrounding her, waiting for someone to speak.  No one, not even Christian, attempted to stop her.  The room was as silent as a tomb.

She fled and flew up the stairs, slamming her heavy door closed and sliding down the length of it until she was a limp heap on the floor. She couldn’t stop her tears any longer and sobbed with abandon. 

This wasn’t the way her life was supposed to be turning out. She was supposed to be carefree and laughing- biding her time until she left for school, where she would party and study for law school in her free time.  Her tears continued until they were interrupted by a soft knock on the door a few minutes later.

“Syd?”  Christian’s low voice was muffled through the thick wooden door. 

Sydney scooted to the side before mumbling, “Come in.”

The door opened slowly and Christian stepped in, kneeling next to her.  Without even looking up, she started crying again and he sank onto the floor, pulling her into his arms. She collapsed weakly against him as she cried, relieved that someone had cared enough to come after her.

“Don’t cry, Syd, please.  You don’t have to do this to yourself.”    He sounded helpless and uncomfortable as stroked her back soothingly. She tried to get a hold of herself, but her emotions felt like a runaway train. Suddenly, though, a thought occurred to her and she leaned away and gazed up at him with wet lashes.

“Christian, did they send you up here?”

“Well… yes. But I would have come anyway.” 

He continued patting her back awkwardly, and she knew that he wouldn’t have.  He was here at his mother’s bidding- to attempt damage control.  To sway her toward reason. She cringed on the inside and any trust that she had in him disintegrated.

“Christian, you might as well go back down and tell them that I’m not changing my mind.  I’m sorry.”  She pushed away from him and stood up, taking a deep, settling breath.

“I’m leaving here and I’m having the baby.  But don’t worry, I’m not going to ask for anything from you.” She was impressed at how steady her voice sounded, since she was quite aware that her heart was in tatters.

“Don’t be ridiculous.  I’ll send you money to help. But Sydney, I don’t want to be a dad.  And I don’t want to feel guilty about that.  I’m trying to let you know as clearly as I can that I don’t want this.”  His face was rigid as he spoke.  “I mean it.  I can’t do this.  I don’t want to hurt you because I love you. But I don’t want this.  I’m sorry.”

“Do you?  Love me, I mean?  Never mind. Don’t answer that.  I’m sorry, too,” she murmured.  “It’s not like I asked for this, either. But it’s here now and I’ll deal with it.” 

She turned her back on him and started packing a suitcase.  Her thoughts turned logical as she realized that she should take practical pieces of clothing- ones that she would be able to wear for at least a couple of months while her belly grew.  Definitely no skinny pants.  She grimaced as she tossed stretchy yoga pants into the suitcase.

“You can go now, Chris.”

She didn’t even look at him.  She didn’t relish putting him through this and didn’t want to see the anguish on his face. Besides, his face reminded her of a betrayal. A very fresh betrayal. 

“Syd…” His voice was pleading as it trailed off.  It was clear that he didn’t know what to say.

“I mean it.  Just go.” She forced her voice to be cold so that he would listen.

It was one more moment before she heard the door click shut.  She turned to look and Christian was gone.  She was all alone. She steeled herself against the pain that instantly ripped through her.  She had things to do.  She’d let her heart break later.

Before she could think even one more thought, her door flung open again and Jillian Ross walked briskly inside.  Sydney decided grimly that the temperature dropped a couple of degrees immediately. 

“If you think that we will be helping you, you are vastly mistaken.”  Jillian’s voice was as sharp and unforgiving as barracuda teeth.  Sydney didn’t even flinch. 

“Mom, this is my decision.  I don’t want anything from you.” Sydney didn’t look at her mother- she just continued packing, throwing a pair of running shoes into the bag.

“Well, that’s good- because you won’t be getting anything.  I’m closing your bank accounts and don’t even think about taking your car.  I’ll report it as stolen if you try. The title isn’t in your name. If this is the path you want to take, take it.  But you’ll be taking it alone and I’m warning you. It’s not going to go well for you.  Do not mess with me.”

Her mother’s steely glare was unwavering and Sydney sucked in her breath.  She hadn’t expected her mother to be quite so vicious. Angry, yes.  Sharp-tongued, yes. Horrendously hateful?  No.  But then again, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Jillian Ross had ice water running through her veins instead of blood. Sydney didn’t allow herself to focus on it, though. 

She simply said, “I’ll be gone in 15 minutes.”

Her mother stalked from her room and Sydney was once again alone.  She picked up her phone and called a cab and then started feverishly throwing clothing in her suitcase.  She added a second suitcase full of toiletries and she stuffed a few sentimental items in there as well, before she took a shaky breath and looked around her.