Authors: Terri DuLong

Postcards from Cedar Key (29 page)

BOOK: Postcards from Cedar Key

6.39Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

ads

A
s I sat in Grace's living room holding Solange in my arms, I thought about motherhood. Not in relation to myselfâinstead my thoughts flowed to my mother. I pictured a girl in her early twenties, holding her newborn daughter. I tried to imagine the fear and concern she probably had about raising that daughter alone. I stared at Solange peacefully sleeping away, and yet she was so vulnerableâdependent on Grace for every single needâand for the first time, I fully understood how brave and strong my mother had been.

“She's gorgeous,” I whispered. “So perfect.” I held her awhile longer before giving her back to Grace.

“Thank you,” Grace said, and gazed down at her daughter. “She's our precious gift.”

Even though the circumstances were much different, I knew without a doubt that I had been a gift to my own mother. A gift that she protected and loved. I glanced up and saw Saxton send me a smile.

“You need to get your rest,” I said. “So we're going to scoot along. If you need anything at all, just give me a call.”

Grace laughed. “Thanks, but between Chloe, Lucas, and Aunt Maude, I think they have everything covered. And thank you so much for the gorgeous knitted crib blanket.”

I nodded. “Take care, and I'll see you soon.”

When we left Grace's, Saxton and I headed back to my apartment. I made a fresh pot of coffee and we settled on the sofa with Brit beside me.

“You're quiet,” he said. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Holding Grace's baby made me reconsider motherhood.”

“For yourself? Are you thinking you might want a child now?”

I laughed and patted Saxton's hand. “No, not for me. Even though you might be willing to become a father again, at forty-six, I think I'll pass on that.” I ruffled the top of Brit's head. “I'm content to be a doggie mom. I was thinking about my mother and how difficult all of it must have been for her. Dropping out of college, involved in an abusive relationship, returning home pregnant, and then raising me without any assistance from my father. She really was fortunate to have my grandmother, but I'm sure it was still hard.”

He nodded. “I agree, and I think what Doyle said is true. She was a lot stronger than you ever realized.”

“Strange how we can sometimes come to know somebody better in death than we did in life.”

Doyle's boat slowly moved out of the channel and we headed north as I sat clutching the urn containing my mother's ashes.

I glanced at Aunt Stella and smiled. Reconnecting with her was another thing that I could thank my mother for. Our relationship had grown and become solid over these past months. Finding out about her sister's past had been as much of a surprise for Stella as it had been for me. I recalled what she'd said the night before:
I could have tried harder to be a better sister, but the past is the past. What I can do now is go forward and continue to build my relationship with you.

She was right. We can't undo the past. Mistakes are made. Words are left unsaid. Risks are not taken and what we're left with is the present. It isn't the past that counts, but rather what we choose to do with our remaining time. I glanced at Saxton, and once again I was grateful that he had crossed my pathâallowing me to spend that time with him.

I was also fortunate to have Jill, Chloe, and Suellen in my life. Jill had insisted on flying to Florida for a few days to attend my mother's memorial. She said the shearing of the alpacas would still be there when she returned.

Chloe and Suellen had helped me through a difficult time from the moment I'd arrived on the island. They encouraged me and supported me as I began to put pieces of my puzzle together, proving to me once again how precious and valuable female friendship is.

I looked up at Doyle as he stood at the wheel steering the boat toward North Key. He was another gift that I'd been given from my mother. I never knew my father, but if I could choose a substitute, it would be Doyle. He had loved my mother without reservation, even when she wasn't able to fully return that love.

I heard Suellen begin playing the chords of “Against the Wind” on her guitar. I had chosen the Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band lyrics because they seemed appropriate and the 1980 hit had been one that my mother had played over and over on her record player. The words were now very meaningful to me. My mother had found her shelter, had found her healing and recovery right here in Cedar Key.

I watched as we approached North Key and knew it was time to finally release her back to the universe. The evening before, I had asked Doyle if he would assist me. I now saw him walk toward me and reach for my hand.

“Ready?” he asked, and I nodded, following him to the bow.

As we held the urn and loosened the top, my aunt, Chloe, and Saxton dropped stems of red roses into the water as Suellen's music filled the air.

In that moment, despite the sunshine and warmth, a strong wind began to blow. Doyle and I looked at each other, smiled, and released the ashes.

“Rest well, Jenna,” he said. “Be at peace with my love.”

I felt the tears sliding down my face. “And with mine,” I said, before leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek.

We arrived at Dora's house to find it filled with people and received a warm welcome from everybody. Dora managed to usher all of us out to the patio, where her grandsons were circulating with a tray of champagne flutes.

Conversation ceased as Dora clapped her hands together and reached for her glass. “I want to thank all of you for coming today,” she said as I looked around and saw all the people that had become so special to me. Mr. Carl was standing beside Miss Raylene, Leigh was there with her daughters, Sydney and Noah were next to Monica and Adam, the women from the knitting group stood clustered together in addition to so many other Cedar Key residents. “Because today is a celebration of life. Life is a special gift,” she said. “And we're welcoming the new life of Solange Genevieve Trudeau.”

Everyone looked to where Grace was seated with Solange in her lap and Lucas kneeling beside them as applause broke out.

“And we're also celebrating the past life of Jeanette Jenna Whitmore, Berkley's mother. During a very difficult time in her own life she found her way to Cedar Key, seeking solace and comfort. I have no doubt she found that here, and she has now passed on this special place to her own daughter.” Dora lifted her flute in the air. “Here's to Solange and Jennaâa beginning and an end to life.”

Cheers and applause filled the patio area as once again I felt moisture stinging my eyes.

“Enjoy all the food on the buffet table,” Dora said. “But most of all, always enjoy the moments.”

Saxton touched his glass with mine. “To your mother,” he said. “And to her very special daughter who never gave up.”

I smiled and took a sip of champagne before touching the rim of his glass again. “And to you, Saxton Tate the third, for coming into my life and helping me to see just how great life can be.”

I saw Doyle standing with a group laughing and talking and was reminded of the Wheel of the Year that hung on my wall. I began to fully understand why that piece was so important to my mother. Why it was the one thing, besides me, that she had taken home with her from Berkeley. The wheel depicted the annual cycle of the earth's seasons. It had been a little over a year since I'd come to Cedar Keyâfilled with doubt and uncertainty, searching for answers that had eluded me for over forty years. And during the past year, not only had I found my answers but I'd found so much more. I wasn't the same woman who had arrived on Cedar Key. I had changed. Grown. And had learned so much about both people and life.

I recalled the words from Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament,
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die.

Leaning over, I placed a kiss on Saxton's lips. “I love you,” I told him. “Everything in life happens in its own time. Everything happens for a reason. I'm glad I finally understand the meaning of this.”

“So am I,” he said as he pulled me close.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Like Berkley, I lost my mother in 2005 to the complications of hemochromatosis. Therefore, this little known disorder has affected me personally and I wanted to make my readers aware of the diagnosis and treatment options. More information can be found at the American Hemochromatosis Society:
www.americanhs.org
.

Although Berkley's mother experienced domestic abuse in the 1960s, unfortunately it is still an issue that affects many women. However, we do now have resources available for women who need assistance, and the Internet has a vast amount of information and help.

Most of the places of business mentioned in my novels are real, but Berkley's chocolate shop is a figment of my imagination. Call it wishful thinking on my part due to my love for quality dark chocolate.

Island Girl Cakes is very real, though, and owned by Cedar Key native Jan Allen. It is located on SR 24, and I can vouch for the incredibly delicious cakes for sale at Jan's shop.

My good friend, personal assistant, and expert knitter Alice Jordan was kind enough to design a Cedar Key scarf that the knitting group at Yarning Together made for their fund-raiser. We wanted to share the pattern for that scarf here with you, my wonderful knitting readers.

Cedar Key Scarf

D
ESIGNED BY
A
LICE
J
ORDAN

Supplies:

2 skeins 50G 100% cotton
Size 6 needles

Cast on 30 stitches.

Row 1: K30

Row 2: K3, P24, K3

Then, follow instructions for the pattern rows below.

Pattern Rows:

Row 1: K4, P3, K3, P3, K3, P4, K3, P3, K4

Row 2: K4, P3, K1, P1, K1, P4, K1, P1, K1, P3, K1, P1, K1, P3, K4

Row 3: K8, P1, K5, P1, K6, P1, K8

Row 4: K3, P5, K1, P1, K1, P4, K1, P1, K1, P4, K1, P1, K1, P2, K3

Row 5: K4, P1, K1, P1, K4, P1, K1, P1, K4, P1, K1, P1, K9

Row 6: K3, P7, K2, P5, K2, P5, K2, P1, K3

Row 7 : K 30

Row 8: K3, P24, K3

Row 9: K3, P24, K3

Row 10: K3, P24, K3

Repeat pattern rows 1â10 to desired length, ending with Row 8.

Bind off.

A READING GROUP GUIDE

POSTCARDS FROM CEDAR KEY

Terri DuLong

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

The following questions are intended to
enhance your group's reading of
Postcards from Cedar Key.

Discussion Questions

1.
Did you think Berkley's relocation to Cedar Key in order to uncover a family secret was justified?

2.
Discuss the character of Saxton Tate III in relation to Berkley. Did you feel they shared chemistry when they first met? Why or why not?

3.
How did you feel about Berkley's compulsive behavior? Do you have certain rituals that you adhere to? What do you think is the difference between compulsive behaviors and habits?

4.
What was your initial feeling toward Raylene Samuels? Discuss her demand to ban Lacey Weston's books. Do you think it's ever justified for a book to be banned?

5.
This story had quite a few dogs. Discuss how dogs weaken or enhance a story in a novel. Do you enjoy reading about the dogs owned by various characters in a book?

6.
Discuss Berkley's signature chocolate clams. Do you think they contained magical qualities produced by Berkley's grandmother's plant?

7.
What was your impression of Doyle Summers? Did your impression of him change as the story unfolded?

8.
Toward the end of the story there seems to be a connection between Doyle and Berkley's aunt, Stella Baldwin. Do you think there's a chance for that relationship to progress?

9.
How did you feel about Muriel, Saxton's ex-wife, and his daughter, Resa? Do you think he was right to contact his daughter after so many years?

10.
Being judgmental is one of the issues covered in the story. Raylene judged Lacey Weston and her books. Berkley was judgmental in her lifelong assessment of her mother. What do you think accounts for people forming their opinions of others without more information? Do you agree or disagree with the saying “Never judge another until you've walked a mile in their shoes”?

11.
Miss Maybelle is introduced in this story. Discuss her character and the potential for her to have a stronger part in future stories.

12.
When Berkley finally discovers the answers she's been searching for, the truth is much different than she anticipated. Do you feel she regretted trying to put all the pieces together? Why or why not?

13.
Discuss your thoughts on seeking out answers to family secrets. Do you think they should always be pursued? Or, as Raylene said, is it sometimes better to let sleeping dogs lie?

14.
Domestic abuse is still a major issue for women around the world. Discuss the events that Berkley's mother experienced in the 1960s and compare them to what might have happened today in relation to the court system, resources available, and so on.

15.
Do you think women today are more aware of domestic abuse? And if so, what do you think accounts for this?

16.
Based on the four books in the Cedar Key series, discuss which character you'd most like to see featured in the fifth book.

BOOK: Postcards from Cedar Key

6.39Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

Read Book Download Book

ads