Playing With Seduction (20 page)

K
endall stared at
the plastic stick in her hand in shock, not sure whether she should laugh or cry at the news she’d just been delivered. Or maybe do both at the same time. That’s how conflicted she felt about the entire situation.

She was two weeks past due on her period. While she blamed overall stress for the delay, she was never late, and it had taken her this long to gather up the courage to confirm what she already knew in her heart and face the changes already happening with her body. The nausea in the mornings had been her first clue, followed by her tender and swollen breasts that were incredibly sensitive to the touch. And despite a solid eight hours of sleep a night, she felt exhausted all day long.

“Well, what does it say?” Stephanie asked anxiously from where she was pacing in Kendall’s small living room. Her good friend was there to offer moral support, and she chewed on her thumbnail as she waited for Kendall to answer.

“It’s positive,” Kendall whispered, still trying to work through the array of emotions filtering through her. Joy. Fear. And regret that this hadn’t happened differently. The latter thought made her throat tight with heartache. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, wow.” Stephanie came up to Kendall, her gaze filled with a combination of awe and concern. “You’re going to have a baby.”

Kendall glanced back at the pregnancy test, but the results remained the same. “So it seems.”

It had been three weeks since she and Jase had broken up, and she hadn’t seen or talked to him since. She’d asked for a clean break, and he’d respected her request, even though it had been one of the most difficult decisions she’d ever made. But she knew it would be impossible to have Jase in her life in any capacity and not grow more attached or, worse, fall deeper in love with the man. The fact that she’d let her emotions get so tangled up in what should have been an uncomplicated affair proved that much.

Stephanie sat down on the couch. “Do you know when it might have happened?”

“No.” Placing the incriminating test strip on the coffee table, she settled onto the cushion next to her friend, still feeling dazed. “I went off the pill when I divorced Drew, but Jase used protection every single time, so getting pregnant was something I didn’t think was even feasible.” Until this morning, when she’d Googled the possibility of getting pregnant while using a condom and learned that, yes, it did happen, with breakage and deterioration being the most common issues. It was a small percentage, but it did occur. Even Jase himself had been a product of failed birth control, which made her current predicament even more ironic.

Stephanie’s gaze turned sympathetic as she placed her hand over Kendall’s. “Just goes to show you, no form of birth control is one hundred percent effective.”

“Except abstinence,” Kendall said with a wry twist of her lips.

Stephanie laughed and shook her head. “Nah, there’s no fun in that.” Then she grew serious once more, her eyes softening with wonder. “I can’t believe you’re going to have a baby.”

The stunning realization was slowly sinking in, and Kendall knew once this initial shock wore off, she’d accept this child for the blessing it was and be delighted by the prospect of being a mom. But the irony of the situation wasn’t lost on her, either.

For so many years, all she’d wanted was a baby. Her wish had finally come true, except for the fact that the father of her child wasn’t ready to start a family, and she’d never use an accidental pregnancy to force him into a marriage he didn’t want and wasn’t ready for.

“What are you going to do about Jase?” Stephanie asked, as if reading her mind.

She didn’t think twice about her answer. “I’m going to tell him about the baby because as the father he has the right to know and be a part of the child’s life in whatever way he decides. But I’m fully prepared to be a single mom in every way.” And she’d make sure Jase also knew that just because she was pregnant didn’t mean she had any expectations of him being a part of her life during the next nine months. He didn’t need to be there for the doctor’s appointments or feel obligated to check on her. In fact, the less contact they had, the better for her heart and emotional state. She didn’t want him around knowing it was only out of obligation, and she didn’t want the painful reminder about what could have been if they’d both wanted the same things.

“You know all of us girls are here for you and the baby, no matter what you need,” Stephanie said, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. “You won’t be alone for any part of this.”

“I know.” A swell of tears filled her eyes. She was so grateful to have such amazing women as friends, but Kendall was also incredibly sad that she wouldn’t be able to share this experience, in its entirety, with Jase. The one person who mattered the most.

Kendall pressed a hand to her still-flat stomach and smiled for the first time that day, awed that a little life was growing inside of her. Raising a child alone wouldn’t be easy, and it certainly wasn’t what she’d envisioned for herself, but she had absolutely no regrets about the baby she was now carrying.

*     *     *

Jase sat at
the small table at the coffee house where Kendall had asked to meet him after work—via a short, impersonal text. After three long weeks of not seeing her or hearing her voice, he was anxious to watch her walk into the cafe. He had no idea what she wanted, but a part of him hoped that she was just as miserable without him as he was without her. That maybe she wanted to try and make a relationship work, just as badly as he did.

Their time apart had been excruciating, and every single night, he’d had to battle the urge to pick up the phone and call her. To respect the decision she’d made to end things between them. But as each day passed without her in it, he couldn’t help but wonder if letting her go was the single stupidest mistake he’d made in his entire life. That his unwillingness to compromise might have cost him the best thing that had ever happened to him. It was a painful thought he struggled with every night, with no easy answer or life-altering revelation by morning.

His days were long. His nights were empty. He’d never had an issue being alone or by himself—his whole childhood he’d been a solitary kind of kid, then man—yet his big house seemed quieter. More desolate. It was missing warmth and laughter and
life
. There was no joy or excitement in the things he’d accomplished, and no strong motivation for all the things he still wanted to pursue before settling down with a wife and family.

Because the one and only woman he’d ever wanted all of that with had quite possible already slipped through his fingers. Or maybe not, he prayed as he continued to wait for Kendall to arrive.

Beneath the table, his leg twitched nervously. His stomach felt like he was on a roller coaster of highs and lows, and seeing Kendall, and being able to gauge her mood and her reason for meeting him, would be the deciding factor of whether the ride would soar with relief or plummet to the ground.

She finally pushed through the main door and walked inside. She stopped to glance around to find him, giving him a few precious seconds to take in how beautiful she looked in a pale pink blousy top and a pair of white capri pants. When her gaze turned in his direction, he lifted his hand to get her attention.

He watched her take a deep breath before heading his way, and as she neared, he couldn’t help but think how fragile and vulnerable she looked. And very tired. There was no easy, welcoming smile on her lips. Her eyes lacked their usual vibrancy, and her complexion looked paler than normal. There was no indication that she was happy or excited to see him. No, if anything, her expression reflected a sense of dread.

He felt the thrill ride he’d been on start to crash and burn. Yes, she looked as miserable as he felt, but it was the apprehension in the way she approached his table that indicated she wasn’t here to confess how much she missed him.

She slid into the chair across from him and gave him a forced smile. “Hi, Jase.”

“Hi,” he replied, and because there was no missing the awkward tension between them, he sought to put her at ease. “Can I get you something to eat or drink?”

“No, thanks.” Her voice was too damned polite, and she looked everywhere but at him. “This won’t take long.”

He couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d come there to tell him, but the fact that she looked so distraught and couldn’t even look him in the eyes caused him concern. Instinct had him reaching across the table and settling his hand on top of hers. “Kendall…is everything okay?”

“I…” She visibly swallowed and finally met his gaze, unable to hide the anguish shimmering in the depths. “I’m pregnant.”

He blinked at her, shock rendering him mute. It was the last thing he’d expected to hear, and it took his brain a few extra seconds to process her words. “You’re pregnant?” he echoed dumbly as he gradually pulled his hand away from hers. “How…” His voice trailed off, severing the stupid question of
how did that happen
? Instead, he said in a low tone to keep the conversation private, “We used protection every single time.”

“Yes, we did,” she said, as if understanding his confusion. “But as you well know, accidents happen.”

Fuck.
He knew all about accidents, because he
was
one. Actually, according to his parents, he’d been a
mistake
, and that memory felt like a punch to the gut.

“I took a home pregnancy test first a few days ago, then went to my doctor yesterday to confirm the pregnancy before I said anything to you,” she said, wringing her hands nervously together. “I’m about five weeks along.”

He slumped back in his chair and stared at her, not knowing what to say. So many thoughts and feelings were flying through his head. Stunned disbelief. A spark of panic. And overwhelming fear, because he wasn’t ready for
a baby
, mentally or emotionally. The realization that he was going to have a kid was terrifying and clashed with everything he’d mapped out so strategically in his mind.

“I know this isn’t something either of us planned on, but you have a right to know about the baby,” she rushed on, her words spilling out of her quickly and leaving him no room to reply or ask questions. “I know you aren’t prepared for this… You said you aren’t ready for a family at this point in your life, so I want you to know…I don’t expect anything from you. I plan on raising the child on my own. But if you want to be part of the baby’s life, we can contact a lawyer to work out visitation rights and custody issues, and anything else that needs to be addressed. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was pregnant so you can make your own decisions about what part you want to play in the child’s life.” She finished in a rush, the entire explanation clearly planned out ahead of time.

He couldn’t keep up with everything she was saying. He hadn’t had time to digest the information as she had, and his head was spinning as he tried to come up with some kind of response. But all he could focus on was her announcement that she planned on raising the child on her own and didn’t need anything from him.

She abruptly grabbed her purse and stood up, nearly knocking down her chair in the process. “I need to go.”

“Wait.” He jumped to his feet just as quickly, his heart hammering in his chest because he wasn’t ready for her to go. He stepped toward her. “Kendall—” They needed to talk…but where did he start when he still hadn’t fully accepted or even processed that she was
pregnant
.

“Don’t.” Eyes wide and swimming with moisture, she took a meaningful step back. “I can’t handle anything more right now,” she said, her voice tight.

She turned around and hurried out of the café without giving him a chance to think, let alone have his say.

He hadn’t seen Kendall in three weeks, missed her like crazy, and had hoped she’d come here to tell him she wanted to give them a chance. Instead she’d informed him she was pregnant, announced she didn’t need or want anything from him, and disappeared as quickly as she’d come, leaving Jase feeling as though he’d been ripped through a tornado of emotions and left devastated in the aftermath.

*     *     *

“Want to talk
about it?”

Jase glanced at Sawyer, who’d asked Jase to join him for a beer after work. Considering he had nothing to go home to, Jase had agreed, though there hadn’t been much conversation between the two of them up to this point. Jase knew he’d been moody, testy even, since meeting with Kendall three nights ago. He had no idea why Sawyer would want to subject himself to Jase’s crappy attitude, and now the other man was asking if he wanted to spill his guts.

“Talk about what?” he asked, deliberately vague. He wasn’t ready to divulge his impending fatherhood to anyone just yet. Not until he figured out what he was going to do about Kendall, and the baby.

Sawyer pinned him with a direct,
don’t bother to bullshit me
kind of look. “The fact that you’re going to be a daddy.”

Jase’s brows snapped together in a frown. “How the fuck did you know?”

His friend took a long sip of his beer and shrugged. “You have to remember that my fiancée is part of that close-knit posse of girlfriends that includes Kendall, and those women are fiercely protective of each other,” he said, reminding Jase that Sawyer had personal experience with the group. “And since I’m the one Paige comes home to at night, anything she wants to rant about filters down to me. Sorry to break it to you, but
you
were the latest rant.”

What the fuck? “I was?” he asked, bristling.

The corner of Sawyer’s mouth quirked up in a humorous grin. “I think the exact comment she made to me was, ‘Jase needs to step up and be a man.’”

Jase opened his mouth with a nasty retort to that, but Sawyer held up his hand and cut him off before continuing. “I’m not here to judge, because that was a serious bombshell Kendall dropped on you, and you need to do what’s best for you. But I just thought you might need a listening ear.”

Jase appreciated Sawyer’s friendship, but he couldn’t let Paige’s comment slide. “You can let your girlfriend know that I plan to man up. I’m not going to turn my back on my own kid.” The thought had never crossed his mind. He just hadn’t known how to approach Kendall or what to say, not to mention she hadn’t been ready to really talk to him, either. So he’d taken the time to wrap his head around things and settle on a plan.