Playing to Win (4 page)

On their way inside, Colin tried to psych himself up, get into the spirit of the evening. After all, he was at a rave put on by one of the UK’s foremost underground DJs. He was with his best mates amidst a friendly crowd. Best of all, he was with a delicious lad who wanted to dance with him and possibly get naked with him.

But Colin’s fingertips still itched for the cash he’d given to the homeless man. He’d pretended it was easy, but Andrew was right—Colin did need the money. His father and gran needed it. So did his wee sister, Emma. A hundred quid could buy a week of groceries, even if they needed expensive items like toilet tissue or washing powder.

But to that homeless man, a hundred quid could mean the difference between life and death, or at least hope and despair. Though Colin was often submerged in a pool of self-pity, he occasionally remembered that others had it worse.

And Andrew? He’d flicked that hundred-pound banknote out of his wallet like it was nothing. There’d been several more just like it inside. The injustice made Colin want to cry, or break things, or both.

Och…
He dragged his hands over his face. This wasn’t like him. He wasn’t a brooder. He was the life of the fucking party!

As if on cue, the music began. The bass shook the warehouse’s dark, dusty floor, sending quakes up Colin’s body. The treble laced down his spine, out his limbs, all the way to his fingernails. Even his left knee, confined to the supportive brace he wore under his jeans, seemed to pulse with longing, saying GONNAE GET ME ON THAT FLOOR NOW.

Aye, he had missed this. Five weeks of rehab, including eight days hobbling about on crutches, had filled him with so much pent-up energy, he thought he’d explode.

The moment they reached an open space, he grabbed Siobhan’s and Katie’s hands. “C’mon, wee lassies, let’s show ’em how it’s done!”

“No way!” Katie yanked on his arm. “What about your knee?”

“My physio said bouncing and flexing is fine,” he shouted as he demonstrated. “Just no twisting.”

She pointed two fingers at her eyes, then at him. “I’ll be watching.”

Colin closed his eyes and let the music take control. Soon sweat poured in rivers down his neck and back, but the heat only amplified his euphoria. Besides, everyone else was just as soaked as he was, and no one cared.

The only thing that mattered was This. Fucking. Moment. For one night, Glasgow’s youth was taking back this city from the invading tourists, making it theirs again. For one night, there was no tomorrow.

When Colin opened his eyes, he found Andrew dancing beside him, eyes closed, arms raised, mouth slack in a smug-free smile. He was…so fucking beautiful.

As if hearing Colin’s thoughts, Andrew opened his eyes and looked straight at him. They stopped dancing and just stared at each other, panting. Colin reached out and pushed Andrew’s black-framed glasses back up his nose. Andrew’s smile was so sweet and genuine, it almost made Colin feel they were the same.

Almost.

Colin swept a hand through his own sweaty hair and glanced past Andrew, up at the dancers atop a row of ten-foot-high storage containers. “Wow, check them.”

Andrew turned to look, then kept turning until he spotted a second container stacked atop the row, twenty feet tall and currently empty. “Let’s go up there!”

Colin grinned inside but shook his head. “It’s pretty high. Could be dangerous.”

“No, it’ll be brilliant!” Andrew took his hand. “This floor’s suffocating. We’ll have loads of room up there.” He laced his fingers with Colin’s. “I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

Colin took what he hoped seemed a reluctant breath, then tightened his grip.
Got you, my wee butterfly.
“Let’s do it.”

As they made their way over, he thought about how most lads he dated tried to rein in his madness. This lad stoked it. Andrew would come to regret it one day soon—or rather, one minute soon.

Colin scaled the lower container, aided by the dancers atop it, then turned to help Andrew. As he pulled him up, Colin saw the crowd on the floor start to point and cheer.

Youse are about to get the best show yet.
With a running start, Colin vaulted up to the higher container and grasped the top edge. His feet scrabbled against the side, using the metal contours to push him up. Thanks to the extra upper-body exercises he’d been doing during his knee rehab, he hoisted himself to the top in a flash.

More cheers. The dancers on the level below helped Andrew scale the side of Colin’s container, then Colin pulled him all the way up.

Andrew straightened to stand before Colin, and for a moment, it seemed they were alone in the crowd—alone in all the world.

Then the music swelled, and Andrew began to dance with a sinuous grace the crowded dance floor hadn’t allowed. Colin joined in, mirroring Andrew’s motions. Though they didn’t touch, their hips moved in perfect sync.

The chant began, with just a few people at first, but quickly spreading. Glow sticks of all colors waved in time to the single-word call, creating a dazzling, urgent rainbow.

Andrew squinted at the crowd. “Are they telling us to die?” he asked Colin.

“They’re saying ‘Dive.’” He put his hands together and swooped them down like a swimmer. “Dive.”

Colin wished he’d had his phone ready to capture Andrew’s face as the horror took hold. But he’d remember that look for the rest of his life.

“Crowd dive?” Andrew shrieked. “At a rave? From up here? Are you insane?”

“Aye!” Before Andrew could stop him, Colin stepped to the edge, checking that the people below were ready. “See you in hell, mate!” Then he pulled his hands to his chest, bent his knees, and leaped.

For one glorious moment, he was flying, arms and legs spread. Lights streaked past his eyes, and air seemed to rush through every cell of his body. A split second before he hit, he pulled his tongue back into his mouth so he wouldn’t bite it off.

A mass of arms caught him, slippery with sweat. He thought they might drop him, but then they rebounded like a human trampoline, tossing him up into another weightless moment.

“Turn me over!” he shouted. “On my back!”

They managed it without dropping him, hands grasping, poking, wrenching his limbs. He looked up to see Andrew gaping down at him, hands to his mouth, eyes wide as vinyl LPs.

“Dive!” he called up, knowing Andrew would never dare. “Dive! Dive!”

The crowd took up the chant again, raising fists. A girl near Colin’s head asked, “Does that guy up there know what he’s doing?”

Her friend gave a hooting laugh. “Who’s daft enough to crowd dive at a rave, other than Colin?”

Nobody
, he thought.
I’m the bam. Nobody out-bams me.

Andrew crouched near the edge of the container, probably looking for an easy way down. But there was none, save the awkward way he got up there. He’d have to admit defeat.

The crowd’s excitement suddenly crested, and Colin was jostled so hard he couldn’t see.

“The fuck’s that guy doing?” asked the lad supporting his shoulder. “He’ll get himself killed.”

“Put me down!” Colin shouted. He was immediately dumped, and nearly fell on his arse, but managed to find his footing and stand straight.

What he saw atop the container confused him at first. Why was Andrew’s head down but his legs…up?

Oh no.

Katie appeared at Colin’s side. “He’s doing a goddamn handstand dive. Make him stop!”

He cupped his hands to his mouth and screamed, “Andrew, no! Gonnae no do that!” But his words were swamped by the crowd’s cheers and chants.

Andrew’s legs were nearly vertical now, his back to the dance floor, the spotlight catching the white outsoles of his black high-top trainers.

Oh fuck no.

“I cannae watch.” Siobhan covered her eyes. “He’s gonnae die.”

No no no no no NO.

Frozen with terror, Colin could only stare.
He is gonnae die
, he thought,
and it’ll be my fucking fault.
His next thought, though, was
My God, Andrew must have the most amazing abs.

“Guess what, mate?” said the lad beside Colin, his phone raised to capture Andrew’s stunt. “You’ve just met your match.”

I
SHOULD
BE
facing the other way
, Andrew thought as he straightened his legs to a perfect vertical.
Then I could see if anyone plans to catch me.

He considered putting his feet down so he could turn around, but that would ruin the effect. The crowd had caught Colin, and they would catch Andrew. He had to believe that.

He held the handstand for two seconds, three, four, hearing the screams and music rise in volume. Then he flexed his arms and
pushed
.

The world went suddenly silent.

As he tipped over, Andrew snapped his body to bring himself into a flip. The warehouse spun around him, disorienting in its darkness. Against all his diving instincts, he spread his arms and legs, letting himself go limp. Now it was up to the masses—either they would catch him, or he would die.

The landing was softer than water, yet still the air rushed from his lungs. His glasses flew from his nose and disappeared into the sea of bodies.

Sound crashed into his ears all at once—cheers, music, laughter. As the arms lifted him high in a flying position once again, Andrew felt connected to everything and everybody.

He had lived. He had won.

As his feet were lowered to the floor, a familiar voice shrieked his name. Then Colin was there, grabbing his shoulders, face white with fear.

“Andrew, you did it! You did it!” He shook him hard. “Why did you do it?”

“I had to. Why did
you
do it?”

“I’ve done it a million times. But never again, I swear.” Colin pulled him into a desperate hug. “God, I thought you were gonnae die. I’m so sorry. I didnae think you’d actually jump.”

“Of course I jumped. I was captain of the diving squad at Fettes.”
But you didn’t know that when you left me up there, you mad bastard.

He wanted to kill Colin for making him risk his life, but also thank him for making him feel more alive than ever. Lacking the strength to do either, Andrew simply clutched him, feeling their chests heave together.

As they let go, they were mobbed by the crowd, patting their backs and taking their picture. Andrew put a hand to his face, remembering what was missing. “My glasses.”

“Gonnae no worry,” Colin said, leaning close. “You look nothing like a lord just now.”

Andrew tried to say, “I’m not a real lord, it’s just a courtesy title,” but the words were lost in a wave of maniacal laughter. Colin started cackling too, a high-pitched hysteria that fed Andrew’s own.

“All right, mates, show’s over.” The DJ’s voice crackled from the speakers. “Youse are here to dance, right? This is a rave, not Cirque du Fuckin’ Soleil.”

The song’s melody shifted then, distracting the crowd, who finally parted for Colin and Andrew.

After two steps toward the makeshift bar at the side of the warehouse, Andrew’s legs turned to water. He stumbled into Colin, who looped a supportive arm about his waist.

“All right?” he asked Andrew.

“I’ll be fine. If we could possibly sit.”

“There’s nae seats here.”

“Floor will do nicely.”

Colin helped him stumble to an empty space not far from the bar, where they sank down against another dusty storage container. Andrew’s brain swooped as though he were still airborne.

“That was amazing!” Katie said as she and Danielle rushed toward them. The two girls dropped to their knees before Andrew and began mock-bowing.

“You could’ve both died,” boomed Liam’s voice. The strapping ginger towered over them, arms crossed. Beside him, Robert matched his disapproving pose. Siobhan lurked in the background, pale and frightened, looking even more faint than Andrew felt.

“What if you’d hurt your knee?” Robert asked Colin. “When Charlotte finds out, you’ll be off the team.”

Andrew felt a pinch of regret. Though he’d never met the Warriors manager, he’d heard stories of Charlotte Atchison’s ruthless demand for player discipline.

“How will she find out?” Colin lifted his arms. “Naebody uploads pictures at raves. It’s a rule. It’s how we stay secret.”

“They’ll make an exception for Tom Daley here.” Liam pointed to Andrew, who felt amused at the comparison to the champion British diver. He’d have to ring Tom tomorrow and tell him. “Everybody was taking pictures and videos. By now they’re probably all up on Twitter and Instagram, conveniently geotagged so the police can find us.”

“No, Colin’s right,” Danielle said. “People know to wait until they’re home to upload rave pics. They’re not stupid.”

Liam sighed. “More than I can say for these two.”

“Aw, get tae fuck,” Colin said, “and gonnae gies a drink while you’re at it?”

“Get it yourself!”

“I would, but I cannae walk the now.” Colin elbowed Andrew. “How about you, mate?”

Andrew gazed at him. “I may never walk again.”

This started them laughing like hyenas. Andrew’s adrenaline was beginning to ebb, leaving behind a delirium higher than any he’d ever felt from drink or drugs.

When he could finally open his teary eyes, he saw the others had headed to the bar, all but Katie and Siobhan, who were standing several feet away. Katie was hugging her girlfriend, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“I don’t think Siobhan enjoyed our dives,” Colin said. “Heard she’s got a massive fear of heights.” He pressed his thigh against Andrew’s, aligning the rips in their jeans. “You completely outdid me, but I don’t care. That was amazing.”

The hunger in his gaze stoked Andrew’s own. He started to reach for Colin, then realized his own hands were shaking. “My God, look at that.”

Colin took one of Andrew’s hands and rubbed it between his own. “Your skin’s fucking baltic, mate.”

Andrew started shivering, despite the warehouse’s oppressive heat. “This happened after I bungee-jumped in New Zealand. The drop was something like—” He swallowed, his throat going dry. “—I don’t know, five hundred meters.”