Pierced by Love (18 page)

“So you like babies?” Pierce asked.

“I haven’t had much experience with them, although I have nieces and nephews about the same ages as Landon and Sophie.”

“Oh yeah?”

“My brothers, Ryan and Blake, are both married with families of their own.”

Gage had turned on the television and was flipping through the channels when Craig asked, “So what are everyone’s plans for tomorrow?”

They kicked a few ideas around before settling on hitting the beach the next morning and taking a picnic lunch.

“We need to visit Grandma and Grandpa at some point while we’re here,” Craig stated.

“Let’s invite them over for a cookout,” Gage replied.

“Anyone want to go to the Jacuzzi?” Pierce asked.

“Right now?”

“Yeah. What about you, Noelle? Are you up for it?”

She shook her head. “I think I’m heading to bed. It’s been a long day.”

“Really? It’s still early.”

“Maybe so, but my body is telling me I’m tired,” she said, covering a yawn with her hand. She really was beginning to feel the effects of the long day. With everything that she’d learned about Pierce, however, she doubted that she’d be able to fall asleep. Maybe she’d join the group after all. “On second thought, I’ll meet you in ten minutes.”

Pierce’s eyes opened of their own volition early the next morning. Groaning, he rolled back over, hoping to fall back asleep. Fifteen minutes later, he concluded that there’d be no more sleep for him this morning. Might as well get up and head down to the weight room.

He found a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and pulled them on. After tying his shoes, Pierce rubbed the tiredness from his face, thinking back to the night before when he, along with Gage and Noelle, had relaxed in the outdoor Jacuzzi. He’d caught Noelle looking at the tattooed image of the Sun Devil mascot from Arizona State University just below Gage’s right shoulder before shrugging it off and starting a conversation with him. Pierce appreciated the fact that she hadn’t judged Gage, who was going through a rebellious stage in his own life.

Craig and Marissa had joined them, Craig after talking with their dad and Marissa after putting Landon down for the night. They’d set up a baby monitor on the deck chair just in case Landon woke up.

Pierce was glad to spend this time with his brothers. They had caught up on the latest with each other. Gage, who lived in Tempe and was a student at ASU, was close to completing a degree in marketing. Craig and Marissa were juggling diapers and bottles and jobs while they completed their degrees. When Pierce told them about applying to various universities for his master’s program, Craig and Gage offered encouragement, telling him that it would work out. Pierce had always gotten along with his brothers really well, but at that moment, he realized what a special bond they shared.

The house was quiet as he made his way downstairs over the plush carpet and turned a corner, walking down the hallway that led to the home gym. Pierce entered and stretched for a few minutes before choosing the bench press for his first set of exercises. This was one amenity he liked about his dad’s house besides the pool. Pierce had to admit, if only to himself, that the insufferably long hours his dad had invested in his company all those years ago hadn’t all gone to waste.

He’d worked up a good sweat and was starting on the treadmill when the door opened. His dad entered and said hi, leaving Pierce feeling like he’d already run ten miles. Reluctantly, Pierce returned the greeting. Jared began warming up his muscles. An uncomfortable silence ensued while Pierce tried desperately to think of something to say. Eventually, his dad lifted a pair of weights and began repetitions. “I didn’t think anyone besides me would be awake so early this morning,” he said. “You guys were up late last night.”

Pierce didn’t realize his dad was keeping tabs on them. “We were just talking.”

His dad surprised him by saying, “I’m glad. It’s been a long time since we got together. That’s the reason I wanted all of you to come.”

Pierce didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept his mouth closed. Before too long, he was breathing too hard to speak anyway. It felt good to release the tension he’d been feeling in his back this morning after the previous day of inactivity. Movement always helped to stimulate his brain and loosen his muscles.

After thirty minutes of running, Pierce slowed the machine to a walk. He was surprised that his dad was still there. He was now using the elliptical machine. “Aren’t you going to work this morning?”

He shook his head. “I’m taking a few days off. I wanted to spend time with my family.”

Again, Pierce was at a loss for words. That would have never happened in the past. Pierce wondered if his dad’s recent activity in the Church was responsible for this sudden change of heart or if his new wife was. Either way, he was skeptical that it would last.

Jared chuckled. “I can see that you don’t believe me.”

“Why should I?” The words shot out of his mouth before he could corral them.

“Given the events of the past, I can understand your reluctance. But I really do want to get to know you better, Pierce. I realize that I’ve missed out on a lot through the years.”

“That was your own choice, Dad.”

Pierce saw the pain that his words caused and felt a momentary sting of conscience. But he steeled his heart anyway.

“Do you know that your face turns to stone when you talk to me? An actual physical change comes over you that is a bit . . . unsettling.”

Pierce’s brows shot up. He hadn’t realized that. Maybe he’d better work more on his game face.

“You try to close off your emotions, but they’re right there at the surface, anyway. Wouldn’t it be better to just deal with them?”

Pierce said nothing.

His dad continued. “I know, son, because I used to do the same thing. I was a happy-go-lucky kid with lots of dreams and ambition. I was going to conquer the world, as the age-old saying goes. I could relate to people and I was good at reading them. I focused my efforts on becoming a certified financial planner. Then I met your mother. She was beautiful. I couldn’t believe my good fortune in finding a lovely companion who would stand by me and aid my efforts. Together, our goal was to raise a family and live comfortably. The world was at our fingertips.

“Although your mother had difficult pregnancies, you three boys came along. I guess I wasn’t even thinking about the spiritual side of things. All I could focus on was earning enough money to provide for my young family. Keeping up with the demands of my career and certifications naturally took a lot of time away from you, time that I felt would be an investment in the future. But it was also taking a toll on our family.

“Gage was a sickly baby. He ended up in the hospital a couple of times with pneumonia before he even turned one year old. Even though we had good insurance, our bills were mounting. Then your mother suffered a miscarriage. She was devastated. At her request, we tried for another baby, but she miscarried again. It seemed like my personal life was falling apart. I focused my energy on my career, all the while figuring that your mother needed the same chance to take her mind off our troubles. So I asked her to take a part-time job and she reluctantly agreed.

“I kept putting her off when she brought up the subject of having another baby, thinking she would eventually drop it. But she didn’t. So we tried one more time.”

A sickening sensation pervaded Pierce’s stomach. He’d never heard any of this. “And it didn’t go well,” he guessed.

Jared shook his head. “Not at all. She ended up in the hospital. Do you remember staying with Grandma and Grandpa Logan for a few weeks when you were seven?”

Pierce thought back to his childhood to the time when he and his brothers had been taken out of school and stayed with his grandparents in Oceanside. He distinctly remembered sticking to Craig like glue when he was confused about where his parents were. Pierce could still recall how scared he’d been. “We were told that Mom was sick.”

“Well, she had a complication with that pregnancy. She started hemorrhaging thirteen weeks into it and the doctor put her on bed rest. But it wasn’t enough to sustain the life inside of her and she lost the baby once again. The doctor told her that she should stop trying for any more children. She was angry with me for agreeing with the doctor. She had a hysterectomy soon after.

“She cried and cried, telling me that she’d wanted a baby girl. I felt so helpless. I didn’t know what to tell her, so I thought moving our family closer to her parents would help. I started my own business and asked her to keep the books for me. Getting the business off the ground was my first priority. I was almost never home. Sarah would get after me when I finally dragged myself in, berating me for not taking better care of myself or being home for you boys. I justified it by saying that I was building up my list of contacts.”

Jared paused for a long moment, staring at the floor. His T-shirt was drenched with sweat. When he looked up, Pierce was tortured by the look of anguish on his face. “I’ve never told you this, but I had even started drinking when I met with my business associates outside the office. At first, I was fine with passing myself off as a member of the Church. But as time went on, I found that a lot of my contacts wanted to meet with me on Sundays. The more time I spent away from home and church, the more weakened my spiritual resolve became.”

Pierce’s mouth dropped open. “You drank?”

“Yeah. I’m not proud of my behavior, Pierce. I was ashamed of myself even then. In fact, I had to come clean with the bishop before I could baptize Gage. Unfortunately, I didn’t learn much from that experience and fell back into the same pattern as before. That was the catalyst for the breakup of our marriage. Your mother put up with it for as long as she could. In her own way, she was trying to help by encouraging me to come back to church, to pay more attention to you boys, and to stop drinking. But I felt like she was constantly nagging me. By the time Craig received his mission call, we were practically strangers.”

Pierce’s dad stopped the elliptical machine, closing his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. “We made one last effort to keep it together, but everything just unraveled from there. Your mother quit keeping the books for me. I hired Isaac Rutledge to keep track of my investments. Isaac was the husband of your mother’s friend and had been out of work for some time. She was the one who convinced me to give him a chance. That decision proved costly later, however, when Isaac was found embezzling from our company. My partner, Tom Stewart, and I sued him, but we never saw any of the money.”

Pierce nodded thoughtfully. He’d been informed about Isaac’s traitorous behavior in one of his mother’s letters while on his mission.

His dad continued his story. “It was the first time that I felt like I was in over my head, yet I was too proud to turn to the Lord for help. My business collapsed along with my bank account and I had to start over from scratch. I blamed your mother for my lack of judgment where Isaac was concerned. She filed for divorce and I moved out. I was so numb that I don’t even remember what I said to you when we called your mission president.”

“You said that it was for the best. And at that moment, even after the garbage you dished out in my teenage years, I hated you more than I ever had before.” Pierce wasn’t about to sugarcoat this. He’d needed to say it for a long time. “And to think that I was a missionary representing Christ, telling the people about the blessings of the restored gospel. I felt like a fraud.”

“I’m sorry, Pierce. It wasn’t supposed to happen. If I had made better choices through the years, your mother and I would probably still be together.”

“You’ve got that right.”

“When you’re in that kind of a hole, you don’t think you’re hurting anyone else but yourself. Or you don’t care. It wasn’t until I lost everything that I realized what I had ruined.”

From the devastated look on his face, Pierce knew that he was telling the truth. Still, he couldn’t let go of his anger. He adjusted the settings on the machine to begin his cooldown. “Why did it take you four more years to come back to church?”

“Shame,” Jared answered quietly. “I felt like I couldn’t repent, didn’t deserve forgiveness.”

“What changed your mind?”

A small smile slipped onto Jared’s face. “Landon. Grandchildren have a way of softening a person where nothing else can penetrate. I missed out on seeing my oldest son married in the temple. Then I felt unworthy to even show up for my oldest grandchild’s baby blessing. I felt like the worst kind of father for those two acts alone. But Craig gave me another chance and invited me to Landon’s blessing. I really wanted to be there, but I didn’t know if I could go and face all of you—especially your mother. Craig convinced me that I would be welcomed. So I went and sat next to Gage. But when I watched you stand and follow your brother to the front of the chapel and help support Landon with your hand, something hit me square in the gut. The compulsion to stand was so strong. I didn’t know if I would walk up there or leave, but I almost embarrassed myself. When the blessing ended, I promised myself that I would start attending church again.”