Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller (27 page)

‘I know.’ Ben smirked, and Geoff had to look away.

Moments later, he said, ‘Now we’re alone for the first time in months, you going to share some details?’

‘No.’

‘What d’you mean, “No”?’

‘She’s in the house, for fuck’s sake.’

‘She can’t hear us. Her door’s closed.’

Ben shook his head. ‘She wouldn’t want me discussing personal issues.’

‘What? I thought we were mates.’

‘We are, but I’d feel guilty sharing our secrets with you.’

‘But we’ve always done that!’

‘I know, but now it’s different. I’m in love with her.’

‘I was in love with her too, and I told you everything.’

Ben smirked. ‘There wasn’t anything to tell, mate.’

‘Ah, so you’ve done her then?’

‘I’m not fucking saying.’

Geoff kicked his dangling feet against the house. ‘Can’t help thinking our friendship’s becoming a bit one-sided. You won’t say a thing, but look what I let us both do to Tash.’

Ben punched his arm. ‘I told you not to fucking mention that! You promised me.’

‘Yeah, I know. She’s asleep, mate, chill out. You’re so obsessed, you’re boring.’

‘I’m boring because I won’t tell you what we’ve done?’

‘Mates should share everything, more than they do with their girlfriends. Who do people turn to when they have relationship problems? Mates, because they’re always there. You can bet your arse she’s told her friends everything about you, right down to the size of your balls. That’s a fucking certainty.’

Ben laughed.

Geoff shrugged. ‘We tell each other everything, for fuck’s sake. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice stuff for love. If it’s love it should benefit not hinder you.’

Ben sighed and gulped down some beer. A woodpecker was hammering away at a tree. ‘We haven’t done anything yet.’ Geoff stopped drinking. He felt magically revitalised. ‘That Rick bloke made her ultra-cautious.’

‘Yeah I know,’ Geoff whispered. ‘Think you’ll do the deed here?’

Ben nodded, beaming brightly. ‘I think we will.’

Jenny and Ben slept in the main bedroom. At 2 a.m., in the smaller room with Tash, Geoff was still awake.

Exhaustion had kicked in at midnight - induced by the fifteen-hour flight and the fact that it was seven a.m. back home - so they had all gone to bed.

Geoff had felt compelled to listen to them from his bedroom. Feeling insufferable envy, he’d sat on the edge of the bed and had heard the droning hum of conversation and laughter.

Now, they had become quiet. He hoped that they weren’t enjoying foreplay. He could, perhaps, handle masturbation, but intercourse was forbidden – that would destroy his fresh optimism.

Self-respect overpowered his instincts, keeping him from creeping up to their door and listening. Twenty minutes later, he was sure they’d fallen asleep and hadn’t fucked.

Relieved, he lay down and fell asleep.

The next morning, Geoff watched a video while Ben was out running. All the furniture in the lounge was cream – the three-seat, leather sofa he was sitting on, the carpet his feet sank into, the blind, and the pots supporting leafy plants. And all the technical equipment was black.

Hearing Jenny rise, he adjusted his position on the settee.

She opened the door and smiled at him. ‘Hi, Geoff.’

‘Morning.’

Noticing his red face, she said, ‘You caught the sun yesterday.’

‘Yeah I know.’

‘Where’s Ben and Tash?’

‘She’s asleep. He’s running. You better get used to that. Fitness takes priority in his life.’ He grinned.

Jenny rubbed her eyes. ‘Well, he is a personal trainer,’ she said lazily.

‘Yeah, even on holiday!’

‘I don’t think it’s his priority,’ she said, uncertainness creeping into her tone.

‘I wouldn’t bet on it.’

Jenny stared blankly at him and then said, ‘I’m going to do my make-up.’

‘You mean you haven’t already?’ Geoff asked, looking surprised.

Jenny playfully shook her head. ‘Oh, Geoff, you’re so smooth!’

‘I told you before, Jenny. You’re naturally beautiful. You look just as good without make-up…honestly.’

She smiled. ‘It that’s the case, maybe I should save myself a load of money.’

‘Exactly. If Ben isn’t happy with ‘plain Jenny’ then it’s his problem.’

‘Why? Has he ever said that?’

Geoff turned back to Goodfellas on the telly.

‘Geoff,’ she said weakly, ‘has he said that?’

Facing her, he said, ‘No. Why don’t you watch this with me? I’ll make tea.’

‘I don’t need tea, thanks. I’ll just sit down for a few minutes.’

Geoff could tell she was disheartened. ‘Jenny, Ben hasn’t said anything.’ He squeezed her shoulder. ‘You two are perfect for each other.’

‘I know,’ she said earnestly.

‘Then why the insecurity?’

‘I’m just a sensitive person.’

‘All I said was that you’re naturally beautiful and anyone who disputes that has a problem. You jumped to conclusions.’

‘I know,’ she said.

The front door slammed shut and then Ben climbed up the stairs.

‘Jesus, it’s hard to run up here!’ he said.

‘You have to acclimatise,’ Geoff informed him.

‘You’re telling me. I could hardly breathe.’

‘I meant to warn you about the air up here,’ Jenny said.

‘I should have known better. Ah well, it’s good for training. You just got up?’ he asked her.

‘Yes.’

‘Sleep well?’

She laughed. ‘Eventually!’

When Ben laughed too, Geoff paused the videotape. ‘Why? What were you two doing?’

‘We can’t disclose that,’ Ben replied, and Jenny turned red.

Jenny drove them to the top of the foothills. After parking the car, they walked to a small grass clearing which faced the mountain peaks.

‘I’ve never known air so clean and fresh,’ Geoff said.

‘Yeah,’ Ben agreed. ‘No need to clear black shit out your nostrils at the end of the day. I’m doing some hill walking,’ he said. ‘Who’s coming?’

‘I just want to chill out,’ Jenny told him.

‘Why d’you want to do that?’ Geoff asked Ben.

Ben looked perplexed. ‘You’re into fitness, aren’t you?’

‘Not on holiday.’

‘You’re doing nothing for two weeks?’

‘Nothing time consuming.’

‘I’ll see you in a bit then.’ He walked to the edge of the clearing.

Tash got up. ‘I’ll come. Need to try and lose this arse.’

‘Be careful,’ Jenny called out to them before they disappeared.

‘See what I mean?’ Geoff said, ‘The man’s obsessed with fitness.’

‘It keeps him in good shape.’

‘Yeah, he’s well toned.’

‘Do you two train together?’ Jenny asked.

Geoff laughed. ‘No. Ben’s too intense. I like to enjoy weight sessions. He gets too aggressive.’

Jenny nodded. ‘Tash told me about the boxing.’

‘Yeah, it was supposed to be light sparring. I’ve witnessed his temper many times and it’s a scary sight.’

Jenny rubbed her palm on the grass. ‘What have you seen him do?’

‘Fight. He’s hurt a lot of people.’

‘He’s never hit women, has he?’

‘No.’ Geoff noted her concern. ‘Why? Have you ever felt threatened by him?’

‘No, never.’

‘It not really his fault – his background’s to blame.’

Jenny sighed. ‘He’s not told me about that.’

Geoff looked startled. ‘I don’t know why he wants to keep it secret from you. He’s told everyone else.’

Jenny looked down, dejected.

Geoff wrapped his arm around her. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he likes you a lot.’

Jenny faced him. ‘Has he never said he loves me?’

‘Not to me. He’s said it to you though.’

‘I know.’

‘Then I’m sure he does.’

‘But you’re his friend. I can’t believe he’s never told you he loves me.’ Feeling emotional, she lowered her head.

Geoff squeezed her tighter. The feel of her pressed against his body sent blood rushing to his penis. She was vulnerable now.

‘He’s one of these macho types,’ he explained. ‘He doesn’t like to express emotion.’

‘Well he does to me,’ she said.

‘Jenny, relax. You’re getting worked up over something that’s probably trivial.’ He paused. ‘Although there is something else I should mention that might concern you. As a friend, I think you should know…’

‘I don’t want to talk anymore.’ She desperately wanted to talk to Ben.

When Ben and Tash returned, thirty minutes later, he could see that Jenny wasn’t her normal self.

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked.

‘Nothing,’ she lied. ‘Can we go for a walk?’

‘Yeah.’ He helped her up. Tash joined Geoff sunbathing on the grass.

Fifty metres on, Ben said, ‘What’s up?’

She stopped and let go of his hand. ‘Why haven’t you told anyone else you love me?’

She waited anxiously for his response, terrified that she’d made a mistake about him. She had thought that nothing could threaten her happiness, until Geoff had shown her a different perspective to Ben. She’d realised, then, that the way she felt had been created by Ben’s actions and words. If he hadn’t meant them then he wouldn’t have told his friends the same things, and according to Geoff, he hadn’t.

‘What are you talking about? Why are you so upset?’

‘Ben, answer me.’

‘I’ve told Geoff I love you loads of times.’

‘He says you haven’t.’

‘Well who do you believe?’ Ben tried to hide the fact that he was shaking with anger.

‘You,’ she whimpered.

Ben slumped onto the ground. ‘Don’t let him come between us like this.’

‘He’s your friend – why would he lie?’

Ben glanced at Geoff in the distance. He was lying face down on the grass. He clenched his fist, imagined driving it hard into the back of his head.

‘He’s not over you. He wants to split us up.’ Ben exhaled hard. ‘How could you doubt me, Jenny?’

Jenny sat down and put her arm around him. ‘I didn’t think he’d turn against you.’

‘What else did the cunt say?’

‘He said you’re aggressive.’

‘I’ve had fights,’ he explained. ‘So has he. I told you that you’ve changed me.’ Which meant he couldn’t batter the fucker now. ‘I knew Geoff wanted you back, but I didn’t care because I knew you loved me.’

‘I do love you, Ben,’ she cried. ‘I’m just not as strong as you. I worry I might be wrong. When I hear things like that, I can’t brush them aside. I need to know the truth.’

‘I know.’ He ran his fingers through her hair. ‘But you have to trust me. I trust you.’ He held her face in his hands.

‘I’m sorry.’

Ben stood up, helped Jenny up, and then they continued walking.

‘How will you face him now?’ she asked.

‘I’ll be the same. He wants something he can’t have. He’s bitter; we’re happy. I can live with that. He’s not going to spoil our first holiday together, is he?’