“So you’re in here, little one? Jessica will get your nails clipped for you, and you’ll be just fine.”
Piglet looked worried—her eyes were big and liquid, one of her ears was up, and the other flopped down, uncharacteristic for a Chihuahua. She cocked her head to the side when he talked to her. It was all of a sudden very obvious where she got her name.
“She’s adorable,” he said.
“And very sweet-natured. I love it when she comes in.”
Austin sighed. “So I’m guessing you don’t need any help?”
“I don’t need any help. You okay, Austin? You’ve seemed kind of down all week.”
“I’m fine. Just… made a mistake.” He rubbed his hand down Piglet’s back. Her fur was smooth and a little coarse. She relaxed slightly.
“You want to talk about it?”
Austin shook his head. “It’s a little embarrassing. I feel like an idiot.”
“I wouldn’t want to talk about it either, then. If you wouldn’t mind hanging out while I clip Piglet’s nails, that would be great. You always seem to calm them down when they’re worried.”
Austin smiled. “That’s because they all know I’m a huge sucker and I love every last one of them.”
“Even Annabelle?”
Austin chuckled. “Even Annabelle.”
Jessica got to work clipping Piglet’s nails. The Chihuahua sat there patiently while Austin crooned at her softly. In the end, it took less than five minutes.
“Easy money,” Jessica murmured.
Austin picked up Piglet from the table and cuddled her in his arms. “You’re such a good girl. You want to wait in your crate for your mom to come in and pick you up?”
“She said she’d be right back. Just went a few doors down to pick up her Thai food.”
“Then I’ll just hold this little one until her mom gets back.” No matter what, when Austin felt off-kilter about something, dogs managed to make him feel better. He scratched Piglet’s bright white chest, and she closed her big eyes, like she was about to fall asleep.
“It’s amazing,” Jessica said, watching him. “Even the ones who’ve never seen you before fall right to sleep in your arms.”
“Too bad I don’t have that kind of luck with guys,” Austin said.
Jessica snorted. “It’d probably be bad if you put them all to sleep. Not usually a good sign.”
Austin barked out a quick laugh, then smothered it when Piglet opened her eyes. “Sorry,” he whispered. Yeah, he’d just apologized to a dog for waking her up. That was his life.
AFTER THE
bike ride and his shower, when Evan was sitting on the couch, staring at his blank TV and wishing he had Austin there to make him laugh… he kind of broke. He wanted his friend back. He
missed
his friend. He pulled out his phone and did what he said he wouldn’t do. He wrote another text.
Hey. I know we’re not talking but can you answer me? I’m sorry.
Evan pushed Send and dropped his phone on the sofa cushion beside him. He was in completely uncharted waters. He’d never done anything like that before. If someone floated away, well it was fine. They were gone. But he felt weird and empty without Austin. Like a painful little chunk was torn out of him and he needed it to return. He didn’t know if he expected an answer. He desperately wanted one.
You have nothing to be sorry for. I misread things.
Austin. Evan’s relief was palpable. He didn’t know quite what to say next, only that he wanted to keep them talking.
Why didn’t you answer my text last week? I’ve been worried.
Evan let a minute or so pass. Then he did something he’d literally never done before.
I miss you.
It took about another thirty seconds before his phone rang. Austin’s name popped up on the screen. Evan’s heart tripped in his chest, nerves and Lord knew what else, before he swiped his thumb across the screen to answer.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” Austin took a long, audible breath. “How are you?”
“Confused. What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“CAN YOU
please explain? I really meant it when I said I wasn’t the best with relationships.”
Austin sighed. “Honestly, it just boils down to I should’ve listened to you. I just… I guess I misread your actions and didn’t listen to what you’d said.”
“What do you mean?” Evan got into his comfy couch position that he usually went for whenever a long conversation with Della was about to start. It was different, though, with Austin. He was sort of dreading the conversation. But at the same time he wanted his friendship back. And he wanted to know how to get it.
Austin laughed dryly. “Do you have any idea how flirtatious you are?” he asked.
“Flirtatious?” Evan hadn’t really thought about it. Of course half the time when they were together, all he wanted to do was throw his arm over Austin’s shoulders and cuddle him close to make him smile. Or breathe in his smell… okay. That was flirtatious. He supposed.
“Yes. I know you’re an intelligent man.”
“Just not very good with people, I guess. Good at being social, but not good at actual relationships. I want to be, though. I miss being your friend.”
“We weren’t friends all that long.”
“Weren’t?” Evan’s throat felt tight.
“Haven’t been? I didn’t mean to put it in the past. I just, I really like you. Not to sound like a fifth grader. I want to be your friend, but it’s hard. You don’t make it easy to feel platonic.”
Oh.
“You have… feelings for me?” Evan didn’t really know how to deal with feelings. He’d never been good at having them. Even worse when other people did.
“Fuck.” Austin laughed. “Don’t make fun of me. Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”
“Yes. Can we hang out again? I think Dexter misses Maggie.” Which was probably true, but also total bullshit. He hoped Austin would let him get away with it.
“Sure. Cole, Peter, and I were going to get dinner tonight. I have a few more hours at the shop.”
“Do they hate me?” Evan asked. He didn’t know what Austin had told them, or how badly he’d been leading Austin along without meaning to do it.
“Of course not. I haven’t told them anything. You think I want to admit to anyone that I thought you wanted more with me than you do?”
It sounded like he had to grind that sentence out. Evan somehow felt like a bigger asshole than he already did. The truth was, he
did
want more sometimes. A lot of the time. He liked Austin so much as a friend, but he wanted to kiss him too. And the cuddling. That was probably going to have to stop, but it sucked how much he missed it. Evan needed to get off the phone.
“’Kay. You want to text me later? Tell me where we’re meeting?”
“I can do that.” Evan thought he heard a smile in Austin’s voice. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Sure.” Evan thought for a moment. “Hey, Austin?”
“Yeah?” Austin answered.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I haven’t had a close friend before. I guess I just got a bit carried away.”
Not exactly true, but since Evan didn’t know what
was
true for sure, that was all he could say. He did know one thing. He wanted Austin to be in his life. It felt awfully empty without him.
“It’s okay, Ev,” Austin finally said. “I’ll talk to you later. I gotta get back to work.”
“HEY, SIS.”
“What’s up, babe?” Mary Beth said. She sounded vaguely out of breath.
“Are you super busy?” Austin asked.
“Not at all. I just got home from a jog, but I’m not busy.”
“I’m just….” Austin felt like he sounded like a broken record lately, and he was starting to hate the sound of his own voice. But he just didn’t know what to think, and he wanted his sister’s opinion.
“Kind of wigged out about something Evan did or said?”
“God, I’m so annoying, aren’t I?”
“Not at all. You’ve barely talked about him at all. That’s how I know you’re seriously into him. It’s almost like you’re scared to jinx it.”
“That’s the thing. There is no it. Like, he’s told me a million times that he’s not much into dating and he wants to be good friends, which okay, and then after dinner last night he told me that he is attracted to me too but he’s not what I want. He’s empty. And that’s a direct quote.”
“Empty? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I guess his ex-boyfriend, the last guy he dated, told him he was pretty on the outside, but that there wasn’t anything in there.”
“That’s horrible.”
“I know. And I don’t get where that’s coming from. Like, he was really reserved at first, but he’s so generous, and he really cares about our friendship. He worries about his sister, and he wants to be a good teacher. How is that empty?”
“Maybe he’s different with you?”
“And with all of you guys too? Do you think he’s empty?”
“I mean, maybe he’s changed since he met you.”
Austin rolled his eyes. There was no way he was falling for that. “This isn’t some dumb movie, and I don’t have magic powers. He’s still the same person.”
“I know, but maybe that person didn’t want to show emotions before. You said he worries about his sister. Do you think she’s got something going on there that’s hard to deal with? Like, I had a friend in college who never talked about home because his mom had problems. I think with prescription drugs. But it was hard for him to deal with, so he shut it out and didn’t really get close to anyone. Nobody knew much about him.”
“I guess that’s possible. He did say she was troubled. But Evan’s not a teenager.”
“Just because he has a three in front of his age instead of a one doesn’t mean he’s grown up emotionally. Aren’t you the one on the phone dissecting a guy’s behavior?”
“True.” Austin snorted. “This does feel kind of teenager-y.”
“It’s not. That’s my point. Adults… well, we think we’re past all that, all the wanting to fit in, the worrying about significant others, all that stuff. But I think it lingers.”
“True.”
“So he says he’s into you. Give him time. Neither of you are going anywhere. Be his friend, stay in his life. I’m telling you right now, the guy is falling for you. We can all see it.”
Austin was so grateful for his sister sometimes. “Thanks. Even if it never happens, that made me feel better.”
Mary Beth made a growling noise. “It’ll happen. I know my knowledge of guys isn’t always the best, but I promise you Evan’s so obvious that it doesn’t have to be.”
“Okay. Thanks again.”
“Anytime. I’m going to take a shower, but do you want to meet up for a midweek coffee? I was supposed to go meet Chad for lunch, and I’m really not in the mood for him.”
Austin felt himself smiling. He knew Mary Beth’s signs, and she was starting to get sick of her boyfriend. Fairly soon, he’d start to annoy her, and then it was a quick slippery slope to breakupville. He felt like an asshole, kind of, hoping and counting down to his sister’s eventual breakup, but he really did want the best for her, and there wasn’t a chance in hell that The Chad was what was best for his sister. She’d be much better off on her own.
“Sure. Give me a call when you’re ready to leave, and I’ll meet you there.”
AUSTIN WAS
drunk. He didn’t get drunk very often. It had probably been months, if not years. But his day had gone from bad to worse after his coffee lunch with Mary Beth, and the best thing he could think of to do was down four beers when he got home to try and erase it from his memory. Alcohol didn’t erase the frantic pace of the afternoon, or the client who’d screeched at him after he’d done exactly as he asked. It didn’t erase getting soaked by a pissed-off Great Dane either. But he’d sure as hell tried to drown the day out.
The beer had gone to his head, and he was tired and just fucking drunk. He hadn’t heard from Evan all day, which was odd. They’d been fine the night before, out with Cole and Peter, except for that one weird conversation. Things had felt… normal. They really did. Austin figured he should probably wait to call Evan until he was sober. But a text was fine. Right? He just typed in the word
hi
and sent it. No big deal. He was almost surprised when he got a response right away.
’ll talk to you soon babe. Love you.
What?
Love
you? Austin shook his head to clear it. Didn’t help. He got all wavy and had to squeeze his eyes shut. He looked at the text again. It said the same thing. Then he noticed that the front part was cut off and it obviously wasn’t in reply to him. Evan had been typing a text to someone else when he’d texted. Austin’s phone did that every once in a while. Jumped over to whoever had just texted him instead of staying on the one he was currently writing.
Austin felt a hot streak of jealousy and anger. And yeah, a lot of it was alcohol, and he knew it. But he still reacted. Who the hell was “babe?” Who was Evan texting cute little intimate things to when he was so against getting into a relationship with Austin? Well, there was an obvious reason for that. There was someone else. Austin threw his phone down and stomped into his bedroom. He slammed the door shut and flopped onto his bed. He thought he’d lie there and be annoyed all night, but he didn’t. His long day and the four beers coursing through his body caught up with him, and he passed out.
“I SERIOUSLY
need to go out tonight,” Austin said. He’d had such a long week, and the whole thing with the “babe” thing the night before—
ugh.
He’d tried not to get hurt by it, but he was—hurt and annoyed and not very interested in getting the full explanation about the other guy from Evan. He just needed to let loose.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to hitting the Stone. You want to dance or just drink?”
“Drink, dance, find some guy to take home.”
“Austin Lloyd, I
never
.” Cole laughed. “I say we have a few drinks here at my place, then take a cab to the Silverstone. You can spend the night here on the couch, and Maggie can hang out with Peter while we’re gone, because I’ll tell you right now, there’s no way in hell we’re getting him to go dancing tonight.”