Parting Chances (Fighting Chance #1) (13 page)

“I may not have seen you until Eli came back and mentioned it to me.”

My heart dropped.
Shit
. Here I was telling Eli I couldn’t date him because I’m not ready for
anyone
, and he sees me making out with Drew. This day was just getting worse and worse.

“Yeah, he didn’t look too thrilled,” Kyler said, confirming my fears.

“But wait a second. He
left
. Eli left with that girl.” The memories flooded into my brain, as if I wanted to relive them.

“Kathryn? Well, one, he is still your friend, and you were drunk, I’m pretty sure he was just looking out for you. And two, I have really no idea what he did with her. He could have just walked her home for all we know. But honestly, it’s really none of our business what he does.”

“I completely ruined everything, didn’t I?”

“Look, I don’t know what is going on between you two. It is
clear
that you like him.” She gave me a look, daring me to contradict her. My mind was too fuzzy to come up with a comeback, and quite honestly, I was tired of fighting it. I did like Eli, but that really didn’t matter now.

“He moved on, Ky. Can’t we just let this go now?” As hard as that was for me to say, it was the truth.

“Oh sweetie, don’t you get it? Eli wants
you
. Not Kathryn. He’s known her all of two months. He’s been in love with you since freshman year.” Kyler patted my knee much like I was a child.

“But…he left with her.”

“By your logic that means that you chose Drew.”

“No.” That urge to vomit came back. There was no way in hell I would choose Drew.

“Then don’t tell me you don’t get what happened.” Kyler stood and helped me untangle myself from the bed.

“Get what?” This was the most confusing conversation ever. And a dull ache was starting to form in my head.

“He’s hurt. Whether you want to believe it or not, you two have been flirting since the beginning of the school year.” She held up her hand as I was about to reject that idea. “You know it’s true. He clears his schedule for you, Hales. And you are always the happiest when you are hanging out with him. So you need to decide if you want him or not. If you don’t, you need to let him go. Completely. The way you acted last night only confuses things more.”

I busied myself with making the bed while Kyler spoke. I knew this conversation was going to come up. Ever since that stupid night during midterm week. Why didn’t I just go out on a date with him? What Kyler said was true. I
was
happy when I was with him. He made me forget everything else. But that was also an issue. I couldn’t just forget about my mom. What kind of daughter did that make me? But the idea of him dating someone else made me so insanely jealous.

“Ky, I just—”

“I know. I know what you’re going to say. Please, just remember that Eli has feelings too. By the way you acted last night, it’s clear what your feelings are. You need to start acknowledging them. You know that’s what your mom would say if you were to ask her. I can’t imagine her being okay with what you are doing all because of her.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but Kyler waved me off.

“Look, I just don’t want to see you lose something that could be great. I’m just saying, think about it. Please, just think about it.” And with those words she walked to the door, pausing just outside of it and turned back to me. “Oh, and Eli was called into work today, so you won’t have to worry about bumping into him.” Kyler gave me a sad smile then closed the door behind her.

I sank down on the edge of the bed. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to let Eli in like he wanted. Not right now. But was I willing to lose him? Did I already lose him? I spotted my phone sitting on the desk, on top of a pile of my clothes. Kyler must have stopped at home earlier and picked some up for me. Which I was thankful for, since I was still currently slutty Wonder Woman. I grabbed my phone and scrolled to my text messages, ignoring the new ones I had and pulled up Eli’s name.

Me: I’m sorry for last night. I was completely out of line. It’s no excuse, but I drank way too much. Here’s the truth… I miss you. I miss our friendship and if there is any way we can go back to that for now, I would be incredibly grateful.

I paced the room waiting for his reply. I wasn’t sure how busy he would be on a Sunday at work, but I had hoped he’d get the message quickly and reply just as fast. But the longer I paced around the room, the more I realized that it might take a while for him to respond…if he ever did. Instead of wearing a hole in the floor, I headed to the bathroom to shower off last night’s events.

***

Hours later, I lay in my own bed reading through some homework when my phone buzzed. Thinking it was Kyler telling me she was staying over at Noah’s, I ignored it. I read a few more pages when the phone started ringing. I reached for it, ready to tell Kyler I knew she was staying over there, but my eyes fell not on Kyler’s name, but Eli’s.

Oh man, why is he calling me? Why couldn’t he just text?

Slowly my finger slid across the screen and lifted the phone to my ear. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Eli’s deep voice spoke quietly in my ear. We were both quiet for a few moments, causing an incredibly awkward situation to just get that much worse.

“Eli…”

“So…”

We both cut off quickly, letting another lull happen.

Eli cleared his throat. “I just wanted to see how you were feeling.”

He wanted to know how I was feeling? After everything I did last night, he’s calling to check up on me?
What in the world?

“Eli, you don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?” He sounded confused.

“Be the nice guy about all of this. I was a complete jerk last night, and you should be pissed.”

“Haley, you were drunk. We all do ridiculous things when we are drunk.”

“But this was past ridiculous, Eli. What I did last night…”

“Was exactly what other girls were doing, too. You just didn’t notice it.” He chuckled lightly at some memory from last night that I was not privy to.

“What do you mean?”

“Kathryn. The girl that was talking to me?” He paused to make sure I knew who he was talking about.

“Mmmhmm…” How could I forget her? She brought out the worst in me.

“She was trying to get me to bring her up to my room all night long. She always had a hand on my leg or her chest pressed up against my arm. She was
way
drunker than you were. I was actually relieved when you came over by me.”

“Eli, what I did was…”

“Look, Hales.” He cut me off, and my heart did a little flutter at the nickname. “You aren’t the only one to blame here. I could very well have moved you off my lap sooner, but I didn’t.”

“But wait, you
did
take her up to your room.” If there was one thing that was clear about last night, it was that.

Eli choked on whatever he was drinking. “Is that what you think? You don’t remember her covering her mouth on the verge of puking all over everyone within a two foot radius of her? The line to the bathroom downstairs was ridiculous, and since no one was allowed upstairs, I knew I needed to get her to the bathroom up there.”

“Wait. What?”

“We were up there for maybe five minutes. Enough for her to throw up and rinse her mouth out. Then I walked her home. She lives just down the block.” Eli sounded depressed as he told me this. “And when I got back…” He let his words trail, and I was racking my brain to figure out what he meant.

Then it hit me. He came back and saw me with Drew. “Eli…” I started.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Hales.” He let out a sigh, and my heart ached that I had hurt him.

“No, I really do. Clearly, I misinterpreted a lot throughout the night. When you went upstairs with Kathryn, I drank…a lot. That’s not an excuse, but it happened. Which only added to my drunken state. And when I saw you leave with her, well, my mind went over everything you could be doing with her. It wasn’t pleasant.”

“Haley—” he broke in.

“No.” I stopped him. I needed to tell him what happened. “The guy you saw me with. You maybe don’t remember him—”

“Drew, right? Your
ex
?” he asked. Though it sounded more like he didn’t believe me on the whole ex part.

“Yep.” I cringed remembering his sloppy lips on mine.

“Oh. Okay. I get it.” If it were possible, Eli sounded even more distant and hurt.

What the…
This was not the reaction I was expecting. Sure, I wasn’t expecting a great reaction, but I thought maybe this would make sense….
Oh shit!

“No! Eli, oh my gosh. No, it’s not like that at all. He approached me, and I didn’t even realize who he was at first. But once you left with her, the alcohol went straight to my head. I didn’t care about anything, except forgetting the whole night. He was there, he was familiar, and I have never regretted doing something more than I regret that. I apparently do really stupid things when I’m drunk, and I am never drinking again.” The line was silent as Eli took it all in.

“So not getting back together with the ex?” he asked.

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Hell, no. I want to forget that ever happened.”

“And never drinking again?” he teased.

“Not for a long time at least. Limiting myself to one drink.” I did
not
need a repeat of last night. Taking a deep breath, I rushed out what else I needed to tell him. “Eli, about the other night when you asked me out.” He started to say something, but I continued on. “Things have been awkward between us since then, and I think that’s because I told you to find someone else. I wanted to believe those words when I said them, but it’s a lie. I don’t want you to find someone else. But it’s also not fair for me to ask you to wait for me. You know what is going on. You know why I’m trying to keep my distance. But it’s getting really hard.
Really
hard. The more time we spend together, the more I find myself falling for you.” I heard him inhale sharply but kept my focus. “But I just
can’t
right now. I can’t forget what is going on at home. And the idea of giving my heart away when it’s so close to breaking to pieces already just terrifies me. I am not in the right place at the moment to let the walls down. I
need
them to keep me together. I just don’t know what I would do if we tried something, and it ended up not working. Especially right now. My heart just can’t take it.”

The line was quiet for a few minutes. I had to check the phone to make sure Eli hadn’t hung up.

“Eli?”

“I’m here. I’m glad you told me that. I only wish you could have confided in me sooner, and we could have avoided the last week and a half.”

“So you aren’t mad?”

“Mad? No. You have your reasons. And like I said in the beginning of the year, I understand them. Just know that I’m not going anywhere. But also, stop trying to push me away. You take the time you need, and when you’re ready, I’ll be here.” I could barely hear him above the pounding of my heart as he continued. “I mean, I’ve waited for you for three years now. What’s a little more time?”

“I… um…”

Eli chuckled. “Good night, Hales. I’ll see you in class. Sweet dreams.” With that, he ended the call.

“Er…night,” I said to a dial tone.

I let the phone drop from my hand and stared up at the ceiling. I wasn’t entirely sure what just happened there. But I knew Eli wasn’t mad at me. I had just confessed all the feelings that I had been trying to push away for the last few months to Eli.

Eli. The boy who was bound and determined to steal my heart away. And I was pretty sure I was going to let him.

Three weeks had passed since that unforgettable Halloween party. It ended up being a lot less awkward to see Eli in class than I thought it was going to be. I put myself out there, telling him things I was trying my hardest to not acknowledge. I thought about feigning sickness when Monday morning rolled around but knew eventually I’d have to face him. He met me outside our classroom with a smile and a cup of coffee as a peace offering. Why he was extending the olive branch, I had no idea. But I wasn’t about to turn down the coffee, plus we had usually alternated on who got the morning coffee before class. So things were back to…semi-normal. There were still moments when I wondered what he was thinking. Or when we would eat lunch or hang out together, if he was thinking it was something more. Which was silly because he stayed true to his word. He let me have my space and made it perfectly clear the ball was in my court.