Opening Act (37 page)

“Hey, clerical-support star. What's the weather there?”

“Cold. What's yours?”

“Not bad. We're in Portland. Forties here.”

She grimaced as she got a cup down from the cabinet. “It should be colder there. That far north.”

“Sorry. I'll put in a complaint for you.”

“Tour's still kicking ass, though?”

“Tour's kicking major ass. We've built up what our esteemed manager likes to call ‘momentum.' ”

She took a teabag from a foil packet and dropped it into the cup. “Oooh, fancy talk. How's everybody? Baby, Jimmy, Shay?”

“All good. Trina, however…”

She smiled, anticipating a good story. “Trina, however?”

“Trina had the idea, at our last gig, to dive off the stage and do some crowd surfing.”

“Ah?”

“Alas, the crowd did not have the same idea.”

She gasped, then laughed. “Oh, no! What happened?”

“Fractured pelvis. Not serious enough for surgery, but she has to play tonight's gig sitting on a stool.”

“Oh, my God! Poor Kid Daredevil.”

He groaned. “You are the only human being on the planet who calls her that.”

“Well, someone has to.”

“No, Zee. Please believe me.
No one has to.
”

She leaned back against the counter to wait for the water to boil. “So next week is the Palladium, right?”

“Next week is the Palladium. You are correct.”

“You stoked for it? Mr. Headliner?”

“I believe it is no exaggeration to say that I am stoked.”

She sighed dreamily. “Wish I could be there.”

“ ‘Wish'?” he said in a flutey voice. “Did somebody say ‘wish'?”

She furrowed her brow. “Um. Yes? Me, just now?”

“Well, then it's your lucky day, young lady!”

A beat. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I am inviting you on an all-expenses-paid trip to beautiful
Los Angeles, California
, where you will be wined and dined by actual
rock-and-roll musicians
and probably later ravished by one of them. Certain conditions may apply.”

She blinked. “Are…are you serious?”

“Do I ever kid?” He paused. “Actually, yeah, I almost
always
kid. But not this time. Really, I'm serious. I'd love to have you there.”

“But…can you afford it?”

“Can I ever!
Rock star
here, remember.” He dropped his voice a little. “Seriously, we may have to eat mainly fast food when you get here. But beyond that, I'm totally good.”

She felt as though she might cry. “This…this is really the sweetest thing anyone's ever…” Her throat closed up and she couldn't go on.

“Aww, shut up,” he said. “Shut up or I'll disinvite you.”

She laughed a little but still found it hard to form words. When she was able, she managed to say, “Thank you. I accept.”

“Ssssssweet!” he said. “Though I kinda knew you would. Me being a total fox in every conceivable way, and all.”

“But…listen. Lockwood.”

“I'm listening,” he said, sounding suddenly wary.

“Yes, it's true, I'd love to be there, I'd love to see you.”

A terse pause. “So far no problem.”

“But I have a condition of my own.”

He sighed. “My momma warned me about women like you. What is it?”

“If I'm flying to California, I want to go and spend a day with Loni first.”

Another pause. “That's it? That's all?”

“Yes.”

He laughed. “Jesus. Of course. What the hell. Not a problem.”

“It's just…” The teapot began to whistle, so she took it from the burner and poured the boiling water into the cup. The teabag danced around the rim like it was being tickled. “She's in kind of a bad place right now. She could use some cheering up.”

“Seriously? But wasn't she, like, publishing her poems and shit, and making this whole new career for herself?”

“Well, yeah.” She stirred a couple of teaspoons of honey into the tea. “Only it didn't go so well. Her book kind of tanked, and she had a reading where everyone just sort of sat there. They didn't know what to make of her.”

“In my experience, it's only the really original talents who have that effect. She should keep at it till they catch up to where she's at.”

“Easier said than done. She told me it was awful. The only time she got any reaction out of them was during her patter between poems. Occasionally they'd laugh.”

“Listen, she's just being excessively sensitive. You ever hear what happened at the first Overlords gig? They threw
bottles
at us, man. Some of them not even
empty
. Jimmy got clipped by one.”

She took a sip of the tea, then made a face and smacked her lips. Too hot. She set it down to cool a bit. “Yeah, but…she said they were ‘polite.' Like they were just humoring her. For Loni, that's worse than having a bottle thrown at you.

He snorted. “Forgive me, sweet thang. But as someone who's actually
had
a bottle thrown at him, I'm gonna say, that is oh so very bullshit.”

She laughed. “Well. Maybe. Anyway, she's been in a funk for months. She doesn't really like teaching, she's bored…and I'm picking up that she's over her thing with Byron, too.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. She never actually says so. But…I've talked to her a couple of times. And when she mentions him, there's just this…deadness in her voice.”

“Huh. That's very…huh.”

“And I just feel…I feel a little…responsible.” Her throat started to constrict again.

“You?” he asked, obviously surprised. “How can you possibly be responsible for
that
?”

And suddenly—without warning—something came right up from the depths of Zee's core and started spilling from her lips. “Oh, Lockwood,” she said, “I'm such a lousy human being! The worst. I fucked it up for Loni and Shay.
I
did. I went behind her back and did completely vicious things. I was just…it was a craziness. A bad kind of…I…I thought I was doing the right thing. I mean—I guess I still would've done it anyway, but I really thought she was
meant
to be with Byron, and now I know she's not, and I'm the one who pushed her into that—”

“Now, wait,” he said. “You may have acted out, yeah, but she's a grown woman, and her choices are her responsibility alone, and—”

“She's my
best friend
,” she said, and tears rolled down her cheeks and plummeted onto her stockinged feet. “I'm supposed to be the one who
looks out
for her, and instead I'm the one who shut down her thing with Shay, and she's still
totally
into him. I mean, she almost never even mentions him, I've heard her say his name maybe twice, but both times it was like—like the sound of an open wound—I don't even know how to describe—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “Calm down!”

“I went on her Facebook account, and I blocked him,” she said. “At the very beginning. Right after they met. Then I pretended I
was
her to that Pernita woman and told her to keep Shay away from me.
I
did that.
Me
.”

She paused to catch her breath, collect herself, and wait for his reaction. She knew what must be coming. He'd have to call it quits with her, take back the invitation to LA, hang up, and never speak to her again. Why had she lost control this way? Why had she
told
him everything, just out of the blue?

Because, she realized, she loved him.

And it was too late. Too late for that to matter.

“Okay,” he said, in a very low voice. “Okay. So. You did that to her. Okay.” And he emitted a long, low whistle.

“I know,” she said. “I can't believe I ever…Oh, God, I wish I could just rewind and—and—”

“Well, you can't. You can only go forward. So.” He took a deep breath. “What are you going to do?”

She sniffled, then wiped her nose on her sleeve. “What…what am I going to do?”

“Yeah. Y'know. To make it right.”

She shook her head. “I…I don't know. How can I possibly? I…I don't have even a single idea.”

“It's okay,” he said, and she was amazed to hear a smile in his voice. “I do.”

CHAPTER 21

“So, that's the tour,” said Loni, leading Zee back down the commons toward the parking lot.

Zee took a deep breath and then said, “Ooookay. This is really a bit more…everything than I imagined.”

Loni blinked. “What did you imagine?”

“That it would be…I don't know. Like the college campuses in the movies. All ivy-covered and green, with middle-aged men in bow ties and long coats running around.” She looked around her. “This…this is like a whole town. I mean, it
is
a whole town. Traffic running through it and everything.”

Loni sighed. “Spend a couple weeks here. You'll learn how small it really is.”

“And these students,” she said, as a pair of willowy, chattering blondes sauntered by. “They all look so…young. I mean, for God's sake. I'm not even that much older than them. What is that?”

“Pampering,” said Loni without missing a beat. “This is a little cocoon. A little
cradle
.” She gave Zee an admiring look. “And you're a grown-up.”

Zee frowned. “Kinda makes me feel like I missed out on something.”

Funny, I get the same feeling looking at you,
Loni thought, but she kept it to herself. Instead, she said, “What do you feel like—for lunch, I mean? Lot of great little spots I can take you to. Italian, barbecue, Vietnamese…”

Zee gave her a sly, smiling look. “Could we just grab a sandwich and sit out here?” Loni was momentarily taken aback by the request, and Zee must have seen this. “It's just so beautiful and
warm
outside. Back home, there's six inches of snow. I'd love to just…
bask
for a while.”

Loni shrugged. “Anything you say. You're the guest here.”

So they grabbed a couple of chicken-salad-on-ryes at the student commissary and sat cross-legged on the lawn, Zee luxuriating in the sunlight like a cat. “This feels
sooo
good,” she said after she'd wolfed down her sandwich. She lay back on her elbows, then turned to Loni and said, “You don't have it half bad here, you know.”

Loni barked a laugh. “Oh, I don't know about that.”

“You're not shut up in an office all day. You get to come out here and be in the sunlight. And you've got all these students to look up to you…”

“You mean to constantly challenge my authority. When they condescend to notice me at all.”

“And you've got a guy who's into you.”

“No,
you've
got a guy who's into you,” Loni said, eager to change the subject. “And I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I mean, I knew he was a keeper, after that first time I met him when he showed up on our sofa. The guy walked you home 'cause you were upset, then stayed all night to keep watch over you.”

Zee toyed with a few blades of grass. “God. And I was such a
bitch
to him.”

“Never mind. He obviously knew you were worth waiting for.”

Zee looked suddenly troubled. “That's the thing. I really don't think I am. I mean…
he
does. But…Loni. I don't deserve him.”

“Shut up. You do so.”

“No, I really
do not
.” She appeared momentarily conflicted, as though struggling with something she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to. Finally she relaxed and said, “Oh, what the hell. Maybe being with him will
make
me better.” She turned her face back toward the sun. “In fact, it pretty much already has.”

“Well, there you go,” said Loni, swallowing the last of her sandwich and crumpling the paper wrapper. She was curious to know exactly what Zee meant by that last remark but felt it would be intrusive to ask. “Anyway,” she said, popping open her Diet Coke, “I think a guy who actually buys you a plane ticket so you can go to his rock concert at the Hollywood Palladium is pretty much a dictionary definition of Excellent Boyfriend.”

Zee gave her a big, excited grin. “That's not all he did.”

Loni raised her eyebrows. “No?”

She shook her head. “He also threw in an extra ticket, so I could see the show with my best friend.”

Loni almost asked,
Who's that?
before it occurred to her. “Oh,” she said.
“Oh.”