Only You (A Sweet Torment Novel) (22 page)

I nodded. “I understand.”

He picked up a couple receipts from the top of the pile and handed them to me. “We are investigating Bill Vorse. These are some receipts we collected from his office.”

The receipts were for extravagant dinners, women’s retail, and other expenses that looked to have nothing to do with the state of New York or campaigning. But what was most shocking was when I flipped them over and saw that Bill had written my name on the back, as if I were the one he’d used the money on.

My eyes snapped up and met the attorney general’s. “You’re building a case against Bill, aren’t you?”

“I can’t go into details about that, but a lot of money is missing and we are going through all the expenses. I need to know if these receipts are valid.”

“I wasn’t there,” I said, pointing to the one receipt for a late-night dinner.

“Do you have proof of that?”

Scorching terror shot through my veins, replacing all my blood. I was organized and kept track of my schedule, and proof would be perfect right about now. Then it hit me.

“You know, I just may have proof.”

I looked at the date on the receipt again feeling like it stood out for some reason.

“This date”—I tapped the receipt—“I was out with my two friends.” I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through old text messages until I found the one I needed.

It was a text from several months ago to Hazel and Amy confirming girls’ night out at a sports bar in Arbor Hill. Roman had shown up that night and I’d learned he and Amy were dating.

Eric looked between the text and the receipt. “Okay,” he said, taking out a pen from his jacket pocket and writing on a legal pad.

“We have a lot more to go through here, Miss Levine. I hope you cleared your schedule for tonight.”

With a nervous smile, I nodded and said, “Anything I can do to help get to the truth, I will.”

Eric nodded. “Excellent.”

He took out some more receipts and started going through every last one until I was exhausted from saying, “I wasn’t there,” and “that wasn’t me.”

It took hours, but finally, we were done. Eric sat back and looked over his notes, then at me.

“Would you be willing to testify to all of this if it came to that?” he asked.

“Absolutely.”

It had been a long night, but stating my case and providing evidence to an official made me feel like I had a voice. A small voice, but it was something to prove my innocence. Bill had tried to cover up his outings and screw me over by putting my name on receipts in order to label them as “business expenses.”

But I wouldn’t let him drag me down or involve me in his lie any longer.

“I think we’re done here.” Eric smiled. “I hope you enjoy your business trip. I’ll be in touch if I need anything else.”

“Thank you, sir.” As I got up and walked out of the little café, my nerves were fried and I realized I didn’t think I’d be able to rest easy until the whole mess was over once and for all.

I did, however, have a trip with a sexy man to look forward to. And I’d try to cling to that one bit of happiness the best I could.

Chapter Twenty-One

M
y face hurt I
was smiling so much, but I couldn’t help it. The meeting with Jes Frolos was tomorrow. Leo had spent all day taking me around London, showing me everything. I hadn’t thought about the scandal, attorney general, or any of the mess back home for the last twenty-four hours, and it was a comfort to my overly stressed brain.

“This is incredible,” I said, stopping in the middle of the walkway on the Westminster Bridge to look at the Houses of Parliament across the water.

With the setting sun reflecting off the clouds and flooding the sky with oranges and yellows, I couldn’t help but feel truly happy. Like the world was bigger than I’d ever known and life was moving forward.

“Thank you, Leo,” I said, and stared up at him.

He smiled and there was something sad about it.

“Something wrong?”

He shook his head. “Just the way you look at me.”

My breathing stuttered a little. “The way I look at you feels wrong?”

“Yes. No.” He sighed and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “That’s the problem. Even the good moments, like this one, feel fleeting.”

Standing in London with the sunset around us in the middle of a bridge and looking at a spectacular world I didn’t even know existed, I knew he was right. I felt small in the best way. But I felt more at home standing there with him than I ever had before in my life.

He smiled and something sly played across his face. Like he was about to execute a plan. “This moment is so good in fact, that you should have something to commemorate it.”

He pulled out a long, black velvet box from his jacket pocket. “Perhaps something worth hanging on to.”

My eyes met his when I realized he’d used my words. The same words I’d said a couple months ago when I’d first moved into the apartment and he asked me about my life and what I held dear.

I looked at the box and swallowed hard.

Opening it, what I saw was the most unexpected, perfect thing.

“A macaroni necklace,” I whispered.

“You’re kind of hard to shop for,” he said, and took a step closer. “But I thought this was something you never had . . . something maybe you might like to keep.”

That sting I’d been fighting since I met Leo pulled a line of water to my eyes. My chest felt heavy and achy in the best way. In total gratitude and . . .
love.

Because I realized that a man like Leo was beyond anything I could ever hope for.

I ran my fingers along the smooth surface of the macaroni and everything I’d ever felt was missing in my life came together. There, in Leo’s eyes, I felt seen.

He was giving me something to hold on to. Something to cherish. And something that meant more than any diamond or fine thing in the world. It summed up our time together. Who I was and what I was missing.

A light drizzle came down around us and I snapped the box shut so the necklace wouldn’t get wet.

“Shit,” he muttered, and ran a hand through his hair. “I know it’s lame, but I hope you know that I will get you diamonds if you want—”

“This is perfect,” I said. “I don’t want diamonds.”

“You’re worth so much and . . .” He glanced away, and for the first time the charismatic man with a tattoo and sexy grin was . . . nervous?

“You’re beyond anything I can describe, Paige,” he said.

My heart hurt and I clutched the box tighter against my chest. Thinking about him stringing macaroni somehow made me feel important. It was easy to go pick out jewelry, but he was a busy man and somehow found time to sit down and make this. Because of what it symbolized.

Realization hit: Leo was the light in my day. It seemed so simple. So honest. Just like when I had read my book to Lyssa, the truth of how I felt about Leo hit me so hard, I couldn’t deny it.

I rose to my toes, grabbed the back of his neck, and yanked him down for a kiss. Nothing in the world could have stopped me from saying the one thing I felt, the one thing I shouldn’t feel, but I did anyway.

“I love you, Leo.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

I
paced the bedroom of the massive suite, cell phone to my ear, waiting for my mother to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Mom, it’s me.”

She let out a sigh, maybe of relief or of exasperation, I didn’t know. Either way, I continued to my point. After spending today with Leo, hell, after spending the last three months with Leo, I had realized something. I was hurting. In a lot of ways, for a long time. And I couldn’t hold on to this negative, awful feeling anymore. Because it was slowly killing me.

I had told him I loved him and he had stared at me for a long moment, then kissed me. For now, I’d take that as a good sign, though we hadn’t spoken about it since.

“How are you, Paiges? You finally ready to come home? I’ve been calling Hazel and—”

“I know and I wanted to call to tell you something.” I took a deep breath, drawing on strength I’d been running from, and decided once and for all to tackle this situation. “I forgive you.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“I know.” My voice was soft and I mentally cursed the tears welling up but I forced them down. I still believed that tears would be a sign of victory for those who brought them out. I couldn’t have that. I needed to stay strong. “I’ve been so mad at you. So hurt. You should have believed me. But I can’t hold on to that anymore.”

“I don’t want you to either, sweetie. Just tell the truth—”

“I am, Mom. I have told it, over and over. But I’m done telling this story. I love you, and you betrayed me when I needed you most. But I’m done holding on to that. So I’ll say this one more time. Frank tried to rape me. I won’t talk about this again. Not with you, or anyone. I won’t forget it, but I won’t pretend that every time you disbelieve me, every time you make a point to remind me that you aren’t on my side, that it doesn’t cut me. It does. I can’t do it anymore. So I’ll leave it up to you.”

“Paige,” she whispered.

“Mom. I can’t keep doing this. I’ve told you for the last time what happened. You can either believe me and we can move on, try to figure things out, and have a relationship, or you can believe Frank. But I’m done fighting with you about this. It hurts too much.”

It was the first time I admitted that out loud. Every time my mother brought this up, she used it as a tool. It was also a painful reminder for over a decade that I was alone and she didn’t stand by me with the one thing that had changed me completely and left me feeling out of control in a world I was desperate to fit in to.

There was a long silence and I knew I was on the brink of either losing my mother or getting her back for good.

“Paiges,” she said, and it sounded like there were tears in her voice. “You need to stop with the lies.”

My chest cracked. She chose him. Like she had all those years ago. I had my answer.

“Goodbye, Mom.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Y
ou okay?” Leo said, walking into the bedroom. I set the phone down, and nodded.

“Yeah, just a rough phone call.”

“Want to talk about it?”

When I met his gaze, I realized for the first time in a long time that “Yeah . . . I kind of do.”

He held out his hand and I took it. He sat me on the bed, took the spot next to me, and simply waited.

“I, ah . . .”

I didn’t know where to start. Didn’t know what sounded stupid or why Leo would even care about my problems. But when I looked at him, I actually believed he just might.

“I called my mom and it didn’t go well.” He gently rubbed my lower back, silently coaxing me to go on, but being patient all the same. “I told her, for the last time, about my stepdad. What he tried to do.”

I swallowed hard because Leo’s eyes went fierce and I knew they weren’t aimed at me, they were aimed at Frank. And the thought that this big, strong man was upset for me, believed what I said and was angry right there by my side, made me feel protected.

“What did your mother say?”

I glanced at my hands fidgeting in my lap. “She didn’t believe me,” I whispered. When a sharp pang hit dead center of my chest, I frowned. “Why does it hurt?”

I looked down as if to see the cause of the ache, but I knew it wasn’t something that could be seen. It was only felt. The same gnawing slice of pain I’d held on to for ten years.

“I know better. Knew she wouldn’t believe me now because she didn’t back then. But . . .”—I shook my head—“why does it hurt still?”

Leo sighed. “I think because somewhere deep down, you had hope she would one day wake up, realize she was wrong, and stand by you.”

“Hope?” I whispered. “I never had much of it.”

But maybe Leo was right. Maybe in this moment, the last shred I was holding on to regarding my mother had just been extinguished. And it sucked. Bad. For the past ten years, I never felt like I had her in my corner, but now, I didn’t have her at all.

Part of it was freeing. Because I didn’t have to keep trying to convince her anymore. I could let go. I knew the truth. Leo knew the truth and, somehow, that mattered. Made me feel stronger. Like a whole person.

Leo makes me whole.

And I didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t want to be temporary. I wanted to be his. I met his eyes, which were fierce and zeroing right to my soul.

“Do you think it’s stupid to hope?” I asked him.

“Recently, hope is the one thing that has kept me sane.”

My chest lightened. “Really?”

He nodded and ran his fingers along my jaw. “From the second we met I had hoped for more.” He smiled. “Started when I walked in to find you on your hands and knees picking up chocolates and I hoped so hard you would reach just a little farther under the desk so I could see—”

I lightly smacked his chest and he chuckled. Catching my hand, he held it against his heart and I felt the strong beat soothe me.

“Then I hoped to see you again. But you left, and I hoped I’d never see you again.” There was a hint of anger in his voice and that time it was directed at me. But his face softened.

“And now?”

“Now I just hope you’ll never stop looking at me the way you are right now.”

“What way is that?” I whispered.

“Like you need me. It’s that look”—he traced his thumb along my lower lip—“you gave the first night I met you. And I haven’t been right since.”

I gasped. Everything I felt crashed into me. “I do need you, Leo. So much it scares me.”

Pulling my face the few remaining inches to meet his, he kissed me. It was sweet and sincere, as if giving me a silent promise that I was more than temporary. I’d taken a risk today, several actually. I’d said things I shouldn’t have. Like I loved Leo. Like I needed him. Despite the fact that he hadn’t technically said it back, it didn’t matter in the moment. I felt him. Felt his intensity. And I held on to that hope that he loved me.

The most dangerous hope I’d ever had.

He laid me back on the bed and slowly kissed down my throat, peeling off my top as he traced every newly exposed inch of skin with his tongue. I wove my fingers into his thick hair and kept him close.

“I need you too, angel”—he kissed the swell of my breast—“and I’ve been beyond scared for a while now.”

His admission made my whole body beg for him. To be a part of him. Of his life. Of his body. Of his family. Leo was something greater, something beyond my wildest dreams, and I wanted him so desperately it ate at me like a savage ache.

It didn’t take long for him to get both of us naked. He didn’t pull back the sheets. There, atop the mattress and exposed in every way, I lay beneath Leo. The only warmth and shield I had was him.

“Leo . . .” I whispered his name as he trailed his lips to my belly button.

“I’m here, angel.” Laving at my stomach, he reached up and cupped my breasts. Grazing his thumbs over my nipples made shivers break over my skin and my blood hotter. It was an amazing, confusing feeling. Every area Leo touched burned up, while every inch of skin the air hit was chilled. Hot. Cold. Need.

Grabbing his wrist, I tugged slightly so that his hand came to my mouth. Needing to taste him, any way I could, I sucked on his fingers.

He groaned and nipped my hipbone. He pushed himself up, and I reluctantly let my hold on him go as he grabbed a condom quickly from the bedside table and put it on.

He settled between my thighs, and I wrapped my legs around him as he nudged my entrance. Threading his arms under my shoulders, he held me tightly and barely pushed an inch inside, then stilled.

“Paige?” He leaned back enough to look me in the eyes. “You look sad.”

I realized then that my thoughts were, in fact, sad.

“I was just thinking.”

“About what?” he whispered.

The truth came out before I could stop it. “About how this is my last week working for you. Then we’re done. And I’ll be gone.”

His brow sliced down hard and, honestly, I felt the same slice to my chest. Gone. The word packed so much hurt that I could barely swallow.

“No,” he said and slipped another inch inside of me. “Not gone. Stay here. With me.” Another inch. “Like this.”

I wanted to scream yes. To tell him I’d stay with him forever if he’d let me. “I’ll stay.” I smiled and lifted my hips, coaxing him to fill the last part of me. He did. I gasped. With our bodies connected and my heart in his hands, I knew temporary was off the table.

He wanted me to stay.

However or whatever that meant, we’d figure out later. For now, I was his, in his arms. I was clinging to the one man who made me a part of his world. And I wasn’t letting go.