Only Human (2 page)

Not much else happened today
, except I got a B in history (managed to get my book back from that thieving wench).  She also got a B, which isn’t surprising since she copied it all out of my book. She’s the only reason I wish I was a Vampire sometimes; she’d look like a century old, used dartboard, if I were!

Oh yeah, almost forgot, Monstrous (Zak)
, finally cut his second fang. Mother and father are thrilled of course, but I am never picking that child up ever again. I might as well just attach a drip and drain myself now. He’s chubby you know, like a Weeble with weapons! God help us all when he decides to walk! Signing off now Amica, see you tomorrow night and thanks for listening to my babble. P.S. These flaming mock fangs are rubbing on my gums and keeping me up! You’re so lucky; you don’t have a single tooth while I’ve got two sets stuffed into one mouth!

3.01.3012

YAY!!!! It is Dies Mercurii; triple History!!! Just thought I’d tell you before I go to school. Got to rush, talk to you later. X

I
’m back Amica, I feel really, disgustingly sick. Mother’s gone to get me some normal bread to soak up the blood in my stomach. This happens every so often, but I’ll never get used to it. I shouldn’t be eating so much blood you see, but what else can I do? All the other kids drink every chance they get, and you want to see how many bottles they bring in for just one day! If I don’t drink like them, they’ll know I’m not vamp, and that will be that! I won’t be talking with you anymore; you’ll never see me again. I HATE blood, HATE, HATE and HATE it! I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be miserable, but sometimes I’m just so alone with this. It hurts so badly, and my parents expect me just to carry on. I know they love me, but they’re not proud of me; do you know what I mean? Of course you do, because you’re my bezzie mate!

I think mother and father view m
e as deformed and disabled, similar to some Humans hundreds of years ago. Yep, there used to be lots of Humans Amica, greater in numbers than Vampires, so many in fact, that they ruled the world! Vamps had to skulk about in the shadows, eat gerbils and rob hospital blood banks! Some were savage though and killed Humans all the time. They were left in the sun to blister and burn. Ouch! Shouldn’t make fun, right? My own kin are Vamps; it’s just that the ones I have to associate with at school could do with a good roasting!!

Father said
‘The Great War’ was inevitable; it was natural selection, survival of the fittest, simple evolution. He said it was all done in such a way that Humans felt nothing; they were put to sleep, drained and extracted (D.N.A. for the cloning procedure), and now they no longer exist. CODSWALLOP! I’m not a baby anymore Amica and I don’t believe his fairy tales. He forgets that I’m human, and I know what I feel and don’t feel. If the human’s felt nothing, why is he so scared of me being found out and drained? God, I’m so mixed up; how can I feel so sick, so angry, and so ashamed all at the same time? I love my parents, I do, but they’ve got to start getting real and telling me the truth!

Oh yeah, I saw Sandy again tonight (you know, the blond
e stranger) that’s what I’m calling him
, Sandy
. What do you think? Yay, you like it, knew you would! Now I feel happy again. What’s that all about? I was upset a minute ago. Oh well, guess I am a bit strange, but what the hell, I know you still like me.

Get this Amica, Sandy had fangs in!!! Honest! I didn
’t see him at break like I normally do, I saw him at 10.00 p.m. when school starts, and with two grown up Vamps (his parents I presume). He didn’t come into class though, but maybe he was getting registered and he’ll be in tomorrow!! That would be AWESOME!! Mother’s coming up the stairs, back in a mo’. X

Phew! That was tricky; don
’t
EVER
want the parents to read what I tell you. They wouldn’t understand. I’m going to get you a lock, and wear the key on a chain around my neck. If I have to worry about them reading you, I won’t be able to be honest, and tell you what I genuinely feel like. What was I saying; oh yeah, the mysterious Sandy, vamp or not vamp, that is the question? I suppose I could have been mistaken when I first saw him, he was at a distance and I couldn’t see his face properly. You know what, even if he is vamp, he still looks different, kind of lost, like he doesn’t fit in. I know that feeling.

His hair was black today, not blond
e, but he would have died it like I do mine if he’s human, so that tells me nothing. His eyes were black with golden pupils like everyone else’s; again, like mine, they could be contacts. I could sit around all day wondering if he is or isn’t vamp Amica, but I’ve got to get some sleep, so stop keeping me gabbing Mrs!!! See you tomorrow night. X

4.01.3012

Hallo Friend! I have had the best night in my whole existence!! There was a new student in my class tonight!! Yes, you’re right, it was Sandy! I talked to him! Wow! Amica, he is fit! I’m so happy!! Right, I’ll tell you the whole story now that I’ve calmed down a bit.

It was just after registration
, and Mrs Greko stood up as the two adults I saw last night came into the classroom. I swear they have the same constipated expression my own parents wear most of the time. You know, on edge, uncomfortable and afraid. Anyway, following behind, was Sandy; he looked so sad, I felt sorry for him.

Mrs Greko introduced him as Garok, son of Bintar
, from the Outer Rim (that’s where most of the Elders come from). I’ll tell you more about that later. There is always a place free next to me at the back of the room because no-one wants to sit near the weirdo. I don’t care; in fact I’m chuffed about that because that is exactly where Greko seated Garok.

It was Maths,
first lesson, which I totally hate! I just can’t do it, and I don’t see why I need to. I can add and subtract, and that should be where it ends. Who’s going to need Isosceles triangle, or Pythagoras rules, when they start going to work? It’s a waste of time, and it gives me a headache. The point I’m trying to make is that the dreaded Maths didn’t even bother me. I was too excited to be sitting next to Garok. He’s unusually quiet, the strong, silent type in my opinion; he said one word to me, ‘Hello.’ What a delicious word that is, in fact, we are now married! In my head at least! I wish you could see him.

At lunchtime
, Mrs Greko came over to us both, and asked me to give Garok a tour of the school, and help him settle in. She didn’t have to ask me twice! That was the first, and probably only time, I will strut out of that classroom with my head held high. Simone was livid, I think she fancied him for herself, and here I am, the local freak, getting to spend the night with him. There’s a double dose of satisfaction right there!

Let me explain The Manor school hierarchy to you before I continue. There are three main divisions; the scum of the earth, for weirdoes, geeks and ugly people (this is where I live during school hours); the middle group of sporty, noisy and reasonably attractive kids
, and the top rank, super cool, gorgeous people, who share one brain cell between the lot of them. Simone lives here with the other morons, and they pretty much rule the school.

Here was my dilemma at lunch time. It turns out Garok had earned the right to sit with the cool dudes. Probably because it was his first day and they wanted to evaluate him
, to see if he qualified for the honour of hanging around with them. Now, in my current position as head of the losers, I am not welcome at this table, so when they hailed Garok to come over, I didn’t know what to do. Garok did! He looked at me, pointed at a vacant table, and the two of us went over to it and sat down. He didn’t even glance at the kids waving at him, let alone talk to them! The lad is pure class, and I was practically purring!!

I spent the rest of the night showing him
around the school and sorting out his schedule, where to go for certain subjects and so on. He didn’t speak much, just one word answers to the various subject teachers, but I think they assumed he was just shy. I don’t speak much myself at school, but that is purely for self-preservation. One slip of the tongue could cost me my life.

After being with Garok the whole of the night
, I am convinced now that he is hiding something too. Whether it’s the fact that he is a genetic throwback like me, or something else, it is too soon to tell. I just feel that he is carrying a burden. Maybe, if, I get to know him, over time he will reveal himself to me, and I to him. This is the first time in my life that I have even considered exposing my true condition to another being, I don’t know why, but he fascinates me, I don’t just mean he’s so beautiful that I could cry (although that is also true) I mean I sense that he feels out of place, he’s uncomfortable in his own skin, in other words Amica, he is me. See you tomorrow night. X

5.01.3012

Oh No!!! Swimming tonight! Hate that too, I’ll tell you why later, I’ve got to go and make my body look dead!

What a night, I
’m so glad that’s over friend, you have no idea of the mental anguish I go through exposing my body to the other Vamps. It’s distressing enough that my skin is pink, and I have to rub waterproof whitener all over me before I even go to school; I’m also too skinny because I don’t get to eat much human food, and my boobs are coming in and look like two melons on a lollipop stick, I’m so embarrassed.

Garok was waiting for me at
the school gate which was lovely, but I was just too wound up with worry to appreciate the fact. All I could think of was,
check his bags, does he have a swim bag? Please, please, don’t have a swim bag!
You can’t imagine the relief I felt, when I saw the note in his hand addressed to Mrs Greko. I asked him politely, ‘Are you not swimming today?’

‘
No, can’t.’

‘
Awe, that’s a shame, maybe next week.’ I lied, quickly turning on my heel and going into school. He didn’t tell me why he wasn’t swimming, and I was just too relieved to bother to ask.

We go to the pool straight after registration
, so I always wear my costume under my clothes to reduce the time I spend in the changing rooms. The other girls are always checking each other’s bodies out, to see who has the biggest boobs, nicest legs and so on. It’s funny because they all pretend they’re not, whilst stealing glances from the corner of their eye. I guess it’s just normal curiosity for most of them, but not from the group I like to call the ‘Bitch Vamps’. Guess who’s the chief in that adorable tribe Amica? Yeah, you guessed it, Simone.

Last week she stared at me openly and pointedly as I was getting dressed after swimming. I was terrified; I thought she could see a patc
h of my normal skin colour, maybe I’d missed a spot or something. She didn’t speak, just stared, like one of those pictures with eyes that follow you around the room without moving. She’s the bloody weirdo, not me!

I used to wonder why she hates me so much, she can
’t possibly be jealous, I have nothing she could want. I hate to admit it, but she’s beautiful, I mean, ‘model’ beautiful. Her parents are on the school council, her Uncle is an M.H.C (Member of The High Council) and their whole clan are incredibly rich. Maybe she is suspicious that I’m a human, I don’t know. I try to act like a vamp as much as possible; I bring two bottles of blood to school which I drink with feigned enjoyment when I’m in the school cafe. I’m careful with my fake fangs and contacts. I constantly go to the loo to check that I look vamp, so much so, I think the teacher’s think I have a bladder problem. Maybe I’m just treading water now. I think it is inevitable that Simone, or someone else, is going to find out my secret sooner or later. My heart is heavy with the knowledge of this truth. Darn it! I’ve upset myself again with this morbid chatter. I’m off to bed. Bye friend X

6.01.3012

It is dies Saturni nocte Amica, no school. Usually I’m thrilled, but now it means I won’t see Garok for two whole nights. I’m sick again so I won’t be going on the usual shopping trip. At least that means a couple of hours away from the biting machine (Zak). As he is getting older, I seem to be moving further away from my parents. He is so effortless to look after for them. He is exactly what they always wanted; strong, full of spirit and fangs, with enormous black and golden eyes, absorbing every bit of knowledge around him so much faster than I ever can. I’m off again, getting maudlin! I have a history project to do so I’ll crack on with that while talking to you, okay? I wish you could answer me.

History is my favourite subject of all time
, because, in a way, I am my ancestors. 1000 years ago the world was green and blue; Humans lived their lives in bright sunshine, or glorious, thunderous rain. They walked freely in the daylight, and some travelled to distant lands to live in even more sunshine. They wore their burns proudly as a great achievement, went home to their cooler environment, and then repeated the experience all over again the next year.

There were so many different animals, you wouldn
’t believe! They even let some live in their home with them! Cats and dogs mostly, but sometimes long, scaly snakes or even rats. Domestic pets they called them, and they were loved, not eaten as they would be now.  Our Zak could eat a houseful of rats in two minutes, given the chance!

We still have some animals in this world
, but we rarely see them, they are considered unimportant now that we have the Clone farms all over the world. Blood, blood, blood, that’s all this entire world, thinks about. I think the animals roam around the barren lands during the day, eating the vegetation and possibly each other, I’m not sure. The Vamps have no use for them or the greenery they live in. I guess if anything ever happened to the Clone farms, the animals would certainly be the next things on the menu, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.