One Tiny Lie: A Novel (14 page)

At the end of the hour, when Lola’s volunteer reminds her that she needs her rest, Eric, who’s busy coloring the wheels on his dump truck, hollers, “’Bye, Lola!” Derek, though, takes the picture he drew of himself as the policeman and quietly gives it to Lola for her room.

And I have to turn away before they see the tears welling.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Homesick

“Can you believe this?” Kacey’s chin settles on my shoulder from behind as we stare out onto the ocean together, our matching plum-colored silk bridesmaid dresses fluttering in the light breeze. “I still remember them going on their first date. Storm was petrified. And now here they are, getting married and having a baby.”

We turn in unison to look at the stunningly beautiful couple as the photographer captures them with the sun setting in the background. Storm may be six months pregnant, but other than the cute, round bump on her abdomen and her gigantic breasts—a product of raging hormones mixed with silicone implants—she looks exactly like she always has. A Barbie doll.

A Barbie doll who, along with her adorable little daughter, stumbled into our lives when we needed it most. It’s funny how some relationships can be so accidently forged and yet so perfectly matched. When Kacey and I took off to Miami, we ended up in a run-down apartment building, living next door to a bartender/entertainer and struggling single mom to a five-year-old girl. Storm and Mia. They welcomed us both into their lives without reservation, without apprehension. Because of that, I’ve never thought of them as neighbors or friends.

In some strange way, they’ve always been family.

All of them are, I admit, looking at the small crowd gathered after the sunset beach wedding outside our house. It’s the biggest mixed bag of people you could imagine—our old landlord, Tanner, as awkward as ever holding his date’s arm while he scratches his belly absently; Cain, the owner of the strip club where Storm and Kacey used to work, sipping on a glass of liquor as he watches Storm and Dan, a strange, proud smile touching his lips; Ben, the former bouncer at Penny’s who’s become a close friend to all of us, arm-in-arm with a cute blond lawyer from his firm. I have to admit, that’s a welcome sight, as he’s been dropping not-so-discreet hints about wanting to date me since the day I turned eighteen.

“I wish you were staying longer,” Kacey moans. “We’ve been so busy, we haven’t had a chance to talk. I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in your life anymore.”

That’s because you don’t, Kacey
. I’ve told her nothing. It’s status quo as far as she’s concerned—school’s great, I’m great. Everything’s great. I’m not telling her the truth: that I’m just plain confused. I spent the plane ride down convincing myself that this will all blow over. I need to adjust, that’s all. And while I’m adjusting, I’m not taking any attention away from Storm and Dan’s day.

“Kacey!” Trent’s hands are cupped around his mouth as he calls my sister.

“Oh, gotta go!” She squeezes my elbow, a devilish grin curling her lips. “Make sure you’re back at the house in fifteen, for their first dance.” I watch her as she takes off, skipping barefoot through the sand toward a stunning Trent in his fitted tux. The first few times I met him, I couldn’t be in the same room as him without sweating profusely. But, at some point, he turned into nothing more than my sister’s goofy soul mate. And right now, they’re up to something. I’m not sure exactly what, but by the whispers I’ve caught, it involves a bottle of champagne, the silver stage hoop from Penny’s that Storm used to use in her “act,” and an embarrassing video montage of the happy couple.

Trent and Kacey are perfect together.

I hope I have that one day, too.

I turn back toward the setting sun. And I breathe. In and out, slowly. I breathe and I relish this beautiful moment, this wonderful day, pushing all my worries and fears away. I find that it’s not hard to do. The sound of waves and Mia’s laughter as Ben chases her around serve as an anchor to keep me grounded.

“How is college, Livie?”

The voice surprises me and sends prickles down my spine. Turning, I find those coffee-colored eyes staring out at the ocean next to me. “Hi, Cain. It’s good.” Family or not, I’m still not a hundred percent comfortable around my sister’s old boss. He’s never done anything to warrant my unease; in fact, he’s one of the most respectable men I’ve ever met in my life. But he’s an enigma of sorts. He has that timeless look to him, both youthful and wise beyond his years. When Kacey first met him, she thought he had to be in his early thirties, but a slip of his tongue one night told us he’d just hit twenty-nine. That means he opened his first adult club in his early twenties. No one knows where he got the money. No one knows anything about his family, his background. All we know is that he makes a lucrative living off the sex trade. But according to Kacey and Storm, all he seems to want is to help his employees get on their feet. He has never crossed the line.

Although most of the dancers wouldn’t mind if he did. I’m not surprised. Cain is not only good-looking; he exudes masculine confidence—his well-cut suits, perfectly styled dark hair, and intimidating, reserved demeanor only add to his appeal. And underneath all that? Well, let’s just say that the few times he’s come over to enjoy the beach with us, I’ve noticed Dan and Trent stand a little closer to their women. Kacey says that Cain has a fighter’s body. All I know is that, between the striking face, the hard muscles, and a multitude of interesting tattoos, I’ve been caught staring more than once.

“I’m glad. You know your sister is so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”

My gut tightens.
Thanks for the reminder . . .
I sense his eyes on my face now and I blush. Without looking, I know he’s studying me. That’s Cain. You feel as though he can look right through you.

“We all are, Livie. You’ve grown into one remarkable woman.” He takes a sip of his drink—likely cognac, seeing as that’s his alcohol of choice—and adds, “If you need any help, you know that you can call me, right? I gave you my number.”

Now I do turn to look at him, to see his genuine smile. “I know, Cain. Thank you,” I say politely. He said the same thing a month ago, at my farewell party. I was busy crying my eyes out alongside a hormonal Storm. I’ll never take him up on it but I appreciate it, all the same.

“When do you head back?”

“Tomorrow afternoon,” I say with a sigh. Not necessarily a happy sigh. The last time I left Miami, I was sad, but I had a ball of nervous excitement for college to help me get on the plane. Now, I don’t have the same excitement.

At least, not for the
classes
part of college.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Falling

“Your dad throws this party every year?” I ask as Reagan pays for the cab with her credit card and we hop out. Either Princeton rowing coaches get paid very well or Reagan’s family has money through other means, based on the two-story house we pulled up to. It’s a mix of stone and brick, with steep roofs and a matching turret. English-style gardens break up a perfectly groomed lawn and the driveway forms a large loop at the front door. A dozen or so cars are already parked around the circle, including Connor’s white Audi.

“Like clockwork. Kind of a ‘welcome-back-slash-we’re-gonna-win-the-big-race-slash-I’m-gonna-work-your-ass-over-the-winter’
gathering.” I trail her as we walk around the side of the house to an equally beautiful backyard. About fifty well-dressed people mingle with drinks in hand, accepting appetizers from the servers in tuxes floating around. The crowd is predominantly male, but there are some girls around. Girlfriends, Reagan confirms.

I instinctively smooth my gray pencil skirt. Reagan described the party as “dressy but modest.” I didn’t bring a lot of dressy clothing suitable for the still-warm temperature, so I’m limited to a fitted skirt and a violet-colored sleeveless silk blouse with a deep dip in the back that, unfortunately, shows off my new tattoo. Reagan assured me that her parents won’t think any less of me if they see it. I kept my long black hair down, all the same.

I quickly scan the group, looking for Connor. I don’t know if Ashton will be here. I’d think that, being the captain, it’s expected, but . . . it’s also expected not to sleep around on your girlfriend, and Ashton hasn’t figured that one out yet.

“Oh, Reagan! How are you?” a female voice cries out. I turn to see an older version of Reagan dash toward us, her arms extended, and it makes me smile. They’re identical in height, figure, smile . . . everything.

“Great, Mom,” Reagan says calmly as her mom plants a kiss on her cheek.

“How are you doing? How are classes? Have you been going out?” she asks in a quick, hushed voice. She seems a little frantic, as if she doesn’t have much time to talk but needs to get information out of her daughter.

“Yeah, Mom. With my roommate. This is Livie.” She directs her mom’s attention to me.

“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you, Livie. Call me Rachel,” she says with a warm, polite smile. “My, you are pretty. And so tall!”

Heat crawls up my neck. I open my mouth to thank her, but her attention has already turned back to Reagan. “And how is the dorm? Are you getting any sleep in that tiny bed? I wish they’d make them bigger. They’re not fit for people!”

As she prattles on, a snort escapes me and I quickly cover my face and pretend to cough.
Somehow your daughter’s bed fits two.

Reagan answers with a broad grin. “It’s not bad. More comfortable than I had expected.”

“Okay, good. I was afraid you wouldn’t sleep well.”

“Mom, you know I’m sleeping well. I talked to you yesterday. And the day before. And the day before . . . ,” Reagan patiently says, but I catch the note of exasperation.

“I know, dear.” Rachel pats her shoulder. “I have to go now. The caterers need some direction.” With that, Reagan’s mom sails off like a wisp of smoke in the air, swift but graceful.

Reagan leans forward. “Excuse her. I’m an only child and she’s a little overprotective. And high-strung. We’re weaning her off her antianxiety medication.” In the next breath she starts to ask, “Are you hungry? Because we can go over there and—”

“Reagan!” a man’s voice booms, cutting in.

Reagan’s eyes light up and she grabs my hand. “Oh, come meet my dad!” I can barely keep up with her as she takes off toward the house at a brisk, excited pace. She’s more like her mother than she wants to admit. The only time she slows down is when Grant appears out of nowhere to hand each of us a drink. “Ladies,” he says with a curt bow, and then disappears as quickly as he came, giving Reagan a quick wink as he turns. One sip tells me it’s loaded with Jack and I’m relieved. There’s been an edge lingering at my nerves since leaving the hospital today.

Reagan continues on, cutting through a crowd of guys—grinning at them as we pass—until she reaches the covered patio area near the house, where a giant man with a gray, neatly trimmed beard and round belly—her father, I presume—stands next to Connor.

“Hi, Daddy!” Reagan squeals, leaping into his arms.

He lifts her off the ground, chuckling as she places a kiss on his cheek. “There’s my baby girl.”

I slide into Connor’s outstretched arm for a hug as I watch Reagan and her dad, a twinge of envy sparking in my chest.

“You look beautiful,” Connor murmurs, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

“Thank you. You look great too.” And he does. He’s always dressed well, but now he’s wearing dress pants and a crisp white dress shirt. As he smiles at me with that dimpled grin, air slowly leaves my chest in relief. I’m noticing I’m more relaxed when Connor is around. He just has an air about him. Easy, calm, supportive.

This is right.

“How was the hospital today?”

I tilt my head side to side as if I’m undecided. “Good. Hard but good.”

He gives my forearm a light squeeze. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine. You’ll do great.”

I force a smile as I turn back to Reagan and her father, glad that someone has confidence in me.

“How has your first month been? Nothing too wild, I hope?” Reagan’s dad asks her.

“Nope, my roommate keeps me in check.” Reagan turns to point to me. “This is Livie Cleary, Daddy.”

The man turns to regard me with kind blue eyes. He offers his hand. “Hello, Livie. I’m Robert.”

“Hi, sir . . .Robert. I’m Livie Cleary.” I fumble over my words. A nervous giggle escapes and I shake my head. “Sorry, Reagan just told you that.”

Robert chuckles. I see his eyes shift to a focal point behind me. “Oh, thank you,” he says, reaching to accept a drink.

A tall, dark figure appears to take a spot next to Robert. One with impossibly long eyelashes and piercing brown eyes that make my heart stutter. “You’re welcome,” he says politely.

Ashton is always gorgeous, even in the most basic of clothes. But tonight he has clearly respected Coach’s dress code. His hair is styled in a way that looks neat and tidy while still sexy. Instead of jeans and sneakers, he’s wearing black tailored pants and dress shoes. Instead of a threadbare T-shirt, he’s in a midnight-blue shirt, perfectly fitted and pressed. Watching him take a sip of his drink, I see the worn leather band peeking through. That’s the only thing that resembles the Ashton I’ve known up until now. He looks like he just stepped off the pages of
GQ
magazine.

And I don’t know if it’s because of this transformation or because I’ve finally accepted that I’m attracted to Ashton, but the discomfort that I’ve always felt around him is beginning to fade—or morph—into something entirely different and not at all unpleasant. Although still completely distracting.

Robert’s jovial voice interrupts my thoughts. “I can feel it, boys. We’ve got a winning team this year.” He slaps a large hand over his captain’s shoulder.

Ashton responds with a genuine smile, full of respect. One I’ve never seen on him before.

Turning to me, Robert says, “So, Livie, you’re one of Princeton’s newest crop along with my daughter.”

My eyes meet Ashton’s before I manage to turn and focus on Robert and it makes my heart jump. “Yes, sir,” I say, clearing my voice.

“And how are you liking it so far?” His gaze shifts to my waist. And that’s when I remember that Connor is standing with his arm loosely around me. “None of these scoundrels bothering you, I hope?”

I smile shyly at Connor, who gives me a sly grin back. “No scoundrels,” I reply, sipping the last of my drink. How did I finish it that fast? Before I can stop myself, my eyes flicker to Ashton to see his focus settled on my chest. I instinctively cross my arms, earning a wide grin from him as he brings his glass to his lips.
Maybe one scoundrel
.

“Good. They’re fine young men,” Robert says with an affirming nod. Then we hear a holler as Ty stalks around back in his kilt, and Robert adds, “Maybe a bit wild at times, but then what college kid isn’t. Right, Grant?”

I swear, either Grant has empty-drink radar or he’s watching us like a hawk, because he suddenly appears from behind to hand Reagan and me fresh Jack and Cokes. “Right, Coach.”

“No alcohol in that drink, right, Cleaver?” Robert’s full eyebrow is halfway up his forehead with the question.

“Not a drop,” Grant says, his goofy grin replaced with a mask of sincerity.

“Of course not, Daddy,” Reagan echoes sweetly.

Robert looks down at his doting daughter, who can pull off the innocent, virginal schoolgirl act better than any real one I’ve ever met. Better than . . . well, me, I guess. I can’t tell if he believes her. All he’d have to do is lean in and sniff her drink to know that it’s more booze than mixer. But he doesn’t press it. “So what will you be majoring in, Livie?”

“Molecular biology.”

By the way his eyebrows spike, I can tell he looks impressed.

“Livie’s going into pediatrics,” Connor chirps proudly.

“Good for you. And what made you choose Princeton?”

“My father went here.” The answer rolls off my tongue with ease. It’s as good an answer as any. In truth, I could easily have gone to Harvard, or Yale. I had acceptance letters from all of them, given my school counselors made me apply. But there was never any debate over which one I’d choose.

Robert nods as if expecting that answer. I guess he hears that a lot. It’s not uncommon for several generations to attend Princeton. His brow creases as he ponders this. “What year?”

“1982.”

“Huh . . . I was ’81.” His hand moves to scratch his beard as if he’s deep in thought. “What did you say your last name was again?”

“Cleary.”

“Cleary . . . Cleary . . .” Robert repeats over and over as he rubs his beard with his fingers, and I can tell he’s racking his brain. I take another long sip of my drink as I watch. There’s no way he knows my dad, but I like that he’s trying.

“Miles Cleary?”

I choke on a mouthful of liquid and my eyes widen in surprise.

Robert seems proud of himself. “Well, how about that!”

“Seriously? You knew him? I mean—” I try to temper my excitement.

“Yes.” He nods slowly, as if memories are quickly filling his brain. “Yes, I did. We were both Tiger Inn members. Went to a lot of the same parties. Irish fellow, right?”

I feel my head bobbing up and down.

“Friendly, easygoing.” He chuckles lightly, and I see a hint of something like chagrin pass over his weathered face. “We dated the same girl for a short period of time.” Another chuckle, and his creased cheeks flush with whatever memory that brought up. One that I’m sure I don’t want to hear about. “Then he met that gorgeous dark-haired gal and we didn’t see much of him anymore.” His eyes narrow just a touch as he peers at my face, studying my features. “Looking at you, I’d say he married her. You look like her.”

I smile and nod, averting my gaze to the ground for a moment.

“That is so cool, Livie!” Reagan squeals, her eyes wide with excitement. “We should have them over next time they’re in town!”

Robert is already nodding in agreement with his daughter. “Yes, I’d love to reconnect with Miles.”

“Umm . . .” Just like that, my brief balloon of excitement is deflated by reality. Yes, it would have been great to see my dad and Robert together. To have my parents over here. To watch my dad’s easy laugh. But that’s not going to happen. Ever. I feel Connor’s arm squeeze me, pulling me tightly to him. He’s the only one who knows. Now everyone will know. “Actually, he and my mom died in a car accident when I was eleven.”

There’s a standard “face” for that news when you deliver it. Shock, followed by some paling of the skin, followed by a lifted brow. Usually a single, small nod. I’ve seen it a thousand times. Robert’s face follows precedent to a T, with an additional why-didn’t-you-know-that-about-your-roommate glare in his daughter’s direction. It’s not her fault, though. I never told her. I didn’t avoid telling her; it just didn’t come up in conversation. “I’m . . . I’m sorry to hear that, Livie,” he offers gruffly.

I try to console him with a gentle smile and reassuring words. “It’s okay, really. It was a long time ago. I’m . . . good.”

“Well . . .” There’s that awkward silence, the reason why I generally avoid sharing this about myself in groups of people. Then Grant, who’s still lingering, saves the day by switching topics to the upcoming race, freeing me from being the center of attention. Freeing me to glance up at Ashton for the first time since the conversation about my parents began.

I expect that standard face. But I don’t find it there. I find his eyes locked on me with the most peculiar expression on it. A tiny smile touches his lips; lightness floats in his gaze.

There’s no other way to describe it other than . . .

Peace.

“So this is what all the fuss is about.”

Grinning proudly, Connor clasps my hand as we walk along Prospect Avenue—or “the Street,” as it’s known by everyone in Princeton—and up the steps to the impressive Tudor-style building with brown clovers decorating the front. It’s Thursday night. A line already snakes outside the entrance, but Connor flashes his club ID card and gets us past with no trouble.