One Choice (25 page)

****

Cahri glanced behind her as she drove the stretch of road between the palace and the airport. A number of cars vied for position on the four-lane highway, but none were following her. She wasn't surprised. Her subterfuge hadn't been necessary. Josiah didn't care. The tiny spark of hope she'd held onto died.

She let the tears fall but vowed they would be the last. This was a necessary step in starting over. She prayed she could find contentment and maybe a measure of happiness without a man to love or children to cherish.

During the last week, she'd researched various culinary institutes. She had a little saved, and hoped by next year she would have more put aside to follow this new dream.

At the airport, Cahri pulled into short-term parking. She rested her head on the steering wheel and made a last-minute decision. Unpinning her hat, she removed it and laid it on the seat next to her. She left her hair bound in the tight knot at the back of her head. Looking in the mirror, she tugged at a few strands to soften the severity around her face. She would have to get used to seeing herself without a hat. Her hats belonged in this country, with her heart.

Satisfied she was presentable, she picked up the note she'd written and attached it to the keys. After grabbing her luggage, she trudged to the drop-off area and stopped a skycap. He gazed at her, a curious expression pulling his eyebrows toward his eyes when she handed him the envelope and keys. She asked him to make sure the car made it back to Kral Sarayi. After she included a hefty tip, he nodded his acceptance.

One more step closer to the rest of her life.

Cahri checked her watch and saw she had an hour before her flight. Plenty of time. She bit her lip and worried about getting through security. Would Josiah try to stop her?

Foolish girl, of course he wouldn't.

She checked her bags, and claimed her tickets then headed to her gate. This would be the first time she'd flown alone. At least the flights only lasted a few hours each. She pulled out her book and the soda she'd purchased after the security checkpoint and got comfortable. As comfortable as one got in an airport.

As soon as she was out of Belikara, she could breathe a little easier. Another step in her plan would be complete.

As the boarding process began, Cahri gathered her things and threw away her trash. While everyone stowed their carry-ons and took their seats, Cahri glanced out the window. Across the tarmac the sun reflected off the sand. She inhaled and wished Belikara goodbye.

The pilot announced a delay. Cahri's heart skipped.

Could it be? No.

Why did she still harbor hope that he cared? It just caused more heartache.

Ten minutes later, the other passengers' grumbles had increased. The flight attendants tried to answer questions, but they didn't seem to know the reason for the delay either. Cahri watched their whispers and shrugs. The pilot appeared from the cockpit and opened the door to the gangway. A security guard entered. Gasps sounded throughout the plane. One of the flight attendants lifted the phone to make an announcement then returned it to its cradle. She lifted a clipboard and flipped through the papers, looking for something.

Cahri held her breath. She wasn't sure whether she should pray for it to be Josiah or pray it wasn't.

Let it be your will, oh God.

Peace descended around her, and she knew before the woman found what she was looking for Josiah had come. The flight attendant stared straight at her. Cahri met her gaze and the woman nodded.

Cahri sighed and rose from her seat. She grabbed her carry-on and followed the security guard off the plane.

Matthias waited for her at the end of the gangway. She dropped her gaze to the floor and fought the burn in her eyes. Josiah hadn't come. Matthias had been sent instead. He may not want her, but he wouldn't let her go either.

“Princess.”

“Matthias.” She glanced at his eyes and then bowed her head once more. The impersonal mask concealed his thoughts. He would tell her nothing.

Matthias switched his attention to the suited man who had been standing beside him. “Be sure Princess Cahri's bags are returned to the palace.”

“Yes, sir.” The man stared at Cahri for a moment then issued orders to those around him.

Matthias took her elbow and led her away from the staring airport personnel. She offered no resistance, but couldn't hold back the tears which trickled down her face. So close to freedom from at least some of the pain.

He opened a door and led her through several stark, white corridors. She didn't know where he led her, nor did she care. Trying to leave had been foolish. Had Josiah not sent Matthias, the king would have sent someone to retrieve her from wherever she went.

Matthias stopped and released her arm and stepped back. Cahri gazed at him and he nodded once. She swiveled back to the front, eyes closed, and waited, for what she didn't know.

Help me, Lord.
It was all she could pray.

Her chest tightened when she inhaled a familiar scent. She opened her eyes. Black tennis shoes, black jeans, white oxford shirt, untucked. The face of the man she loved. Her husband.

Cahri swiveled away from Josiah. Her gaze sought Matthias's, but the guard had left. She sighed and walked toward the door.

“Will you leave me,
wife
?”

She stopped. His words angered her, but she answered him with a soft voice. “You left me a long time ago.”

“I'm sorry, Cahri.”

“It's too late for apologies. They might have worked two weeks ago, even last week, but today it's too late.” She placed her hand on the doorknob.

“I love you.”

“No, you don't.”

His hands on her shoulders startled her and sent a shiver down her spine. “Look at me, please.”

She shifted around but didn't look up.

He fingered the tendrils of hair beside her cheeks. “I've missed you.”

A snort of derision was her response.

He lifted her chin, but she closed her eyes. She wouldn't let him see how much his touch affected her, or how much his rejection hurt.

“I need you.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell you from experience we don't always get the things we
need
. You haven't needed me for over a month. Why should I believe you need me now?” She broke away from his hold and went to look out the window. Her muscles tensed as his footsteps grew closer.

He touched her arm, trying to turn her around again. She resisted.

“I am still your husband. Turn around.”

She snorted again. After yanking her arm free from his grip, she stepped away and faced him. “What do you want from me?”

He stepped forward and she stepped back. They moved around the upholstered chairs step by step. Then before she could make another move, he took several quick steps and grabbed her arms.

Cahri resisted the demands his lips made of hers. His touch on her arms gentled, as did the pressure of his mouth. She moved her head away, but he nibbled her ear then placed gentle kisses down her neck. Nimble fingers undid the tight bun at the back of her head. He ran his fingers through her hair and she was lost.

His lips found hers again, and she responded to his demands. Her hands followed the muscles in his arms then entangled themselves in his hair, pulling him closer as she made demands of her own. Desire flooded her body.

He broke the kiss.

The spell was broken, and she leaned away from him, ashamed he could distract her with such ease.

“No.” He pulled her back around and kissed her with passion again until she felt herself relax in his arms.

He broke the kiss.

“Stop.”

“No.” His lips found hers and demanded more. She struggled, but he held firm. Her resolve crumbled.

He broke the kiss.

She pulled his head back down and touched her lips to his. When he didn't respond, she used her teeth to nibble his lips apart. He groaned and tightened his hold on her, never releasing her mouth. His kiss felt desperate somehow.

She broke the kiss, and instead of moving away, gazed into his eyes.

Josiah brought one hand up to caress her cheek. “I'm so sorry, Cahri. I do love you, but I was so ashamed I hadn't been able to protect you. Every time I saw you I remembered how I'd failed. I felt like less than a man and couldn't face the thought of you thinking of me that way too.”

Cahri closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Josiah's chest. “I have never thought of you as less than a man. You couldn't have stopped Waseem. I know it, and so do you. I never blamed you for his attack on me. He was evil.” She shuddered. “I thought you didn't want me, couldn't love me, because of what happened.”

“Oh, my love. It was never you. Never. I needed time.”

Cahri pushed away from him. “I needed
you
. Did you even consider
my
feelings?” She walked back to the window. “A little part inside me died every day because you didn't come. I tried to convince myself I hadn't done anything wrong, that it wasn't my fault.”

“Cahri.” Josiah's whispered word caressed her soul, but she stiffened her spine.

“After weeks of waiting, I gave up the hope that you would come, that you could still love me after what happened. I decided if I had to live without you, I may as well do it some place where I didn't have to pretend I was fine. Somewhere I wouldn't have to sleep in the bed I'd shared with you. A place where everything I saw wouldn't remind me of all I had lost. But then, maybe I never had it. Maybe I was delusional to think a handsome prince could love me.”

“But I do love you.”

She wanted to believe him, wanted it with all her heart.

“Come home with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I need you. Because I want you. Because I love you.”

Cahri sighed. “I don't believe you, but I will do as you say.” She walked to the door. Catching sight of herself in a mirror, she shuddered at the sight of her hair hanging down past her shoulders. No use fixing it now.

Matthias stood outside the door.

“Take me back to my prison, Matthias.”

He stared down at her. “Josiah promised to let you choose if you wanted to stay or leave.”

Cahri shrugged. “I've had but one choice since the day Anaya knocked on my door. One choice to live. One choice to stay in Belikara. Today my one choice is to obey God by staying with my husband. For better or for worse.” She took Matthias's arm and began walking down the corridor. “Maybe one day I'll have the
for better
part.”