Noughts and Crosses (7 page)

‘See?’ Lynette’s small, puzzled voice rang out as clear as a bell. ‘I don’t behave like that. I can’t be a nought. I just can’t.’

All the fight went out of me. Slowly, I sat back down again.

‘Listen, Lynette . . .’ Mum began.

‘Look at my skin,’ Lynette spoke as if Mum hadn’t. ‘Such a beautiful colour. So dark and rich and wonderful. I’m so lucky. I’m a Cross – closer to God . . .’ Lynette looked around at all of us and smiled. A broad, beaming, genuinely happy smile that lit every line and crease of her
face and squeezed my heart.

‘Stupid cow,’ Jude muttered.

‘That’s enough!’ Dad shouted at him.

Jude sat, a sullen, brooding look on his face. Lynette looked down at her hands stroking one over the other. I looked too. All I could see were pale white hands, blue veins clearly visible through the almost translucent skin. She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. Forced it really, but at least I tried.

‘Don’t you think I’m beautiful, Callum?’ Lynette whispered.

‘Yes,’ I replied truthfully. ‘Very.’

I looked out of the car window, watching the trees and fields and sky melt and merge into each other in a passing blur. The first day of term. I sat up straighter, a smile of pure happiness creeping across my face. Callum . . . He alone made the first day of term new and exciting and different.

‘OK back there, Miss Sephy?’

‘Fine thanks, Harry.’ I directed my smile at our nought driver. He was watching me via the driver’s interior mirror.

‘Nervous?’

I laughed. ‘Are you kidding?’

‘I guess not,’ Harry replied ruefully.

‘Harry, could you drop me . .?’

‘Off around the corner from school.’ Harry finished for me.

‘If that’s OK.’

‘Well, it’ll have to be – won’t it?’ Harry shook his head. ‘If your mother finds out . . .’

‘She won’t.’

‘I still don’t see . . .’

I sighed. During term-time, Harry and I had this conversation at least three times a week.

‘Harry, you know how I get teased if my friends see you driving me. I get all kinds of comments about having feet which are too precious to touch the pavement or I get asked when I’m going to have my wings fitted and all sorts. I’m not in the mood to be teased – not on my first day back.’

‘I know but . . .’

‘Please?’

‘Oh, all right then.’

‘Thanks, Harry.’

‘If I get into trouble . . .’

‘You won’t. I promise,’ I smiled.

Harry turned into Cherry Wood Grove, a couple of streets away from Heathcroft, my school. I hopped out, dragging my school bag off the white leather seat.

‘See you later.’

‘Yes, Miss Sephy.’

I waited until Harry had driven off and was out of sight before taking a step. He’d caught me out like that before
– pretending to drive off and then doubling back when my back was turned. As I ambled along, I heard a strange, rumbling sound – like someone playing a radio really loudly, but far enough away so that I couldn’t make out exactly what was being said. As I approached the corner, shouts like an angry wave rolled up towards me. But even that couldn’t prepare me for what was about to happen next. I turned the corner and . . .

And.

At the far end of the road, there was a huge crowd outside my school. And they were shouting and chanting. I froze for a moment, then started to walk towards them. Then I started to run. What on earth was going on? It didn’t take me long to find out.

‘
NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL. NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL
.’

The slogan was shouted out over and over again. Callum and three other noughts were surrounded by police officers who were trying to push their way through the crowd to get to the school entrance. More police stood in an arm-linked line trying to push the crowd of Crosses back into two orderly groups. I ran faster, but the closer I got, the less I could see. I pushed and elbowed my way through the crowd.

‘Callum!
CALLUM!
’

‘
NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL
. . .’

The police officers were still trying to push through the crowds of adults and Heathcroft pupils who in turn were determined not to let them pass.

‘
BLANKERS OUT
. . .’

I forced my way up the steps to the school entrance
ahead of the crowd and the police, watching as the police battled to hold back the crowd, watching as Callum and the others looked neither to the right nor the left but straight ahead without even blinking.

‘
NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL
. . .’

I spotted Julianna and Adam and Ezra in the crowd, all of whom were my good friends. But worst of all I saw my own sister Minnie in the crowd. And she was shouting just as hard as all the others.

‘
NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL
. . .’

There was a roaring in my head which matched the roaring all around me. I was in the middle of chaos. Callum and the other noughts tried to make their way up the steps to the school entrance. The crowd surged forward at that, the palpable wave of their anger hitting me almost like a punch. Suddenly a cry went up. Callum’s head dipped down, followed by the heads of the police officers.

‘One of them is hurt!’

Callum . . . it wasn’t Callum, was it?

‘A blanker’s hurt.’

The news spread through the crowd like a virulent disease.

‘
HOORAY!
’ Spontaneous cheers filled the air. The police lines trying to hold the crowds back were knocked to the ground as the crowd rushed forward like air into a vacuum. I was on the very top step looking down at it all. And I’ve never felt such fist-clenching, teeth-gritting fury. A policewoman stepped to one side and I saw Callum squatting down by a nought girl who looked like she was in a bad way. Blood trickled from her forehead and her eyes were closed.

Mr Corsa, the headmaster, emerged from behind me. He stared at the crowd – the
mob
before him – looking shocked and ashen.

‘Mr Corsa, we have to help that girl,’ I pointed. ‘She’s hurt.’

Mr Corsa didn’t move, even when I repeated what I’d just said. I was caught up in a hurricane, with all the noise and madness whirling round me until my head was about to explode.

‘Stop it! Just stop it!’

Nothing.

‘
STOP IT! YOU’RE ALL BEHAVING LIKE ANIMALS!
’ I shouted so hard my throat immediately began to hurt. ‘
WORSE THAN ANIMALS – LIKE BLANKERS!
’

The sounds of the crowd slowly died away. ‘Just look at you,’ I continued. ‘Stop it.’ I glanced down at Callum. He was staring at me, the strangest expression on his face.

Callum, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t mean you. I’d never mean you. It was just for the others, to get them to stop, to get them to help. I didn’t mean you . . .

She didn’t say that. She couldn’t have. Not Sephy. I’m going to wake up in a moment. Wake up from this chaos, this nightmare. Wake up and laugh – or bawl – at the
tricks my mind’s playing. She didn’t say that . . .

But she did . . .

I’m not a blanker. I may be a nought but I’m worth more than nothing. I’m not a blanker. A waste of time and space. A zero. I’m not a blanker.
I’M NOT A BLANKER
.

Sephy . . .

The waves lapped up onto the beach. It was a lovely autumn evening, a beautiful end to a lousy day. I couldn’t remember when I’d felt so miserable, so wretched. Callum was sitting right next to me but he might as well have been sitting on the moon.

‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ At first I thought he wasn’t going to answer.

‘What would you like me to say?’

‘I said I’m sorry,’ I tried again.

‘I know.’

I watched Callum’s profile – unreadable and implacable. And it was my fault. I understood that much, even if I didn’t quite understand what I’d done.

‘It’s just a word, Callum.’

‘Just a word . . .’ Callum repeated slowly.

‘Sticks and stones, Callum. It’s one word, that’s all,’ I pleaded.

‘Sephy, if you’d slapped me or punched me or even stabbed me, sooner or later it would’ve stopped hurting. Sooner or later. But I’ll never forget what you called me, Sephy. Never. Not if I live to be five hundred.’

I wiped my cheeks but the tears still came. ‘I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean you. I was . . . I was trying to help.’

Callum looked at me then and the expression on his face made my tears flow faster. ‘Sephy . . .’

‘Please. I’m so sorry.’ I dreaded to hear what he was going to say next.

‘Sephy, maybe we shouldn’t see so much of each other any more . . .’

‘Callum, no. I said I was sorry.’

‘And that makes everything all right, does it?’

‘No, it doesn’t. Not even close. But don’t do this. You’re my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

Callum turned away. I held my breath.

‘You must promise me something,’ he said softly.

‘Anything.’

‘You must promise me that you’ll never
ever
use that word again.’

Why couldn’t he understand that I hadn’t been talking about
him
? It was just a word. A word Dad had used. But it was a word that had hurt my best friend. A word that was now hurting me so very, very much. I hadn’t fully realized just how powerful words could be before this. Whoever came up with the saying ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ was talking out of his or her armpit.

‘Promise me,’ Callum insisted.

‘I promise.’

We both turned to look out across the sea then. I knew I should go home. I was so late for dinner it was almost breakfast-time. Mother would go ballistic. But I wasn’t going to leave first. I didn’t want to get up. So I didn’t. I shivered, even though the evening wasn’t cold.

Callum took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders. It smelt of soap, and chips – and him. I hugged it tighter around me.

‘What about you?’ I asked.

‘What about me?’ he replied.

‘Aren’t you going to get cold?’

‘I’ll survive.’

I moved in closer and put my head on his shoulder. His body stiffened and for a moment I thought he was going to move away, but then he relaxed and though he didn’t hug me the way he usually did, he didn’t shrug me off either. One word . . . one word had caused all this trouble between us. If I lived to be five million, I would never, ever say that horrible word again. Ever. The sun was beginning to set now, burning the sky pink and orange. We sat and watched in silence.

‘I’ve been thinking it over and . . . well, we can still be together outside school but I don’t think you should talk to me when we’re in school,’ Callum said.

I was more than stunned. ‘Why on earth not?’

‘I don’t want you to lose any of your friends because of me. I know how much they mean to you.’

‘You’re my friend too.’

‘Not when we’re both at school I’m not,’ Callum told me.

‘But that’s just silly.’

‘Is it?’

My mouth opened and closed like a drowning fish, but what could I say? Callum stood up.

‘I have to go home now. You coming?’