Nine Days in Heaven: A True Story (9 page)

T
HE GATHERED FLOWERS HAD EMITTED
A BURNING EXHALATION, WHOSE FETID
AND NOISOME ODOR, INHALED IN THE
NOSTRILS, CAUSED EXCRUCIATING PAIN
.

I turned to see if I could find even a single drop of water to quench my thirst.
2
As I did, fountains appeared, and small streams flowed amongst the bushes and lay in calm and peaceful pools. However, I soon found that the pools were just another deception, and the spray from the “sparkling” fountains fell like drops of molten lead, making me recoil in horror. The small flowing streams were like liquid metal from a furnace, and the deep, still pools were fiery silver in a glowing crucible, where every atom burns with an intolerable glow.

As I gazed aghast at these awful things, a spirit approached me, and I recognized her. She was someone I had known on earth. Here she looked far more brilliant than she had been in the flesh. Her body, face, eyes, and hands seemed to have a metallic luster that changed with every movement and every thought.

“Marietta, we meet again. But,” and she paused and gazed at me, “I know that you will not stay here, as I must do. You can see that I am now a disembodied spirit. Everyone who inwardly denies the Savior comes here when they die.

“S
TRANGE EMOTIONS AGITATE
YOUR BOSOM. THUS I FELT
…”

“I can see strange feelings stirring in your heart. I felt the same! When I discovered where I was, I was totally bewildered and filled with anxiety. But I also experienced something that you have not yet known. Inside this brilliant exterior is a deep sorrow that I would love to hide.” She went on quickly, “But I must tell you, I must warn you.”

She went on earnestly. “My life on earth suddenly came to an end. As I left the world, I traveled very quickly in the direction of my strongest desires. Inwardly I had always wanted to be pursued and honored—to be flattered by everyone. I wanted to follow the perverted desires of my proud, rebellious heart. I wanted pleasure without restraint, the freedom to fulfill any passion, to do anything I wanted. I wanted to live in a world where there was no religion, no prayer, no church, and no one to rebuke me when I did wrong. I wanted a place where all my time was spent in fast living, with no one to stop me.

“So I entered the spirit world with these attitudes and went to the place suited to them. I rushed to enjoy the glittering things that you can see and was welcomed straightaway, for they could see that I belonged here. They did not welcome you because they could see that your underlying desires are quite different.

“I
WAS WELCOMED WITH GAY
AND SPORTIVE SOUNDS
.”

“I had a wonderful reception. They rushed to greet me and embrace me, shouting ‘Welcome! Welcome!’ I was amazed and confused but nevertheless excited and energized by the atmosphere of the place. I found myself pulsating with a strange and restless power.

“A phosphorescent light was given off by every part of me. It concentrated about my head like a brilliant crown and reflected on my face, giving it a wild, unearthly glow. As I breathed out, my breath became like a robe that wrapped itself around me, making me look just like all of my companions here. I became aware that some strange force was spreading through my brain, absolutely possessing it.

“So I followed my impulses and flung myself into the attractions around me. I wanted pleasure, and I went after it. I partied; I joined the sensuous, wild dancing. I picked the shining fruit. I plunged into the rushing streams and gorged myself with everything that seemed to be delicious and inviting. But when I tasted these things, I found they were repulsive and caused me more and more pain. My desires are so unnatural that the very things I crave I detest, and the things I delight in torture me. It gives me a strange addiction. My appetite is dulled, yet my hunger is not satisfied, and cannot ever be satisfied.
3

“M
Y APPETITE IS PALLED, AND
YET MY HUNGER IS UNAPPEASED
AND UNAPPEASABLE
.”

“I crave for everything I see, but when I grasp them, they bring only disappointment and agony. Every new experience brings strange fantasy, hallucination, and intoxication. Weird things happen all the time, and they give me more hallucinations and more fears.

“I seem to have become a part of the whole scene here. I cannot stop myself from saying what everyone else is saying. I laugh and philosophize. I scoff, blaspheme, and ridicule. Yet everything I say, no matter how impure, is full of sparkling wit, glowing metaphors, and clever persuasion.”

She gestured around her. “The waving trees, the shining fruit, the objects of gold, the moving phantoms, the deceiving waters—such a dazzling picture, but they only mock me. I yearn to satisfy my hunger and thirst, but my desire creates an illusion of cool waters I can never drink, of delicious fruits I can never taste, refreshing air I can never feel, and peaceful sleep I can never enjoy. I am fully aware that these things around me are only delusive fantasies, but they are a cruel and controlling magic that dominates and confuses my mind.

“I am continually attracted to evil. I am the slave of perversion and deception and the evil that controls them. My will is dying, and as it dies, so does my hope of mental freedom. Instead I am becoming convinced that I am a fundamental part of this whole revolving fantasy.”

She looked at me, her eyes full of despair, and pointed around her. “This place, cut off by that dark cloud, is one great sea of perversion and depravity. Here, you find lust and pride, hatred and greed, ambition and strife, love of self, blasphemies and mad partying, all fanned into a raging fire. If some evil is not the specialty of one spirit, there is always another to provide it. The total effect is the combination of every evil. This is where I live, and I am bound by it.”