New Year (3 page)

Almost an hour later
, it was true dark outside and Jason still wasn’t home. I sent him a text, but he didn’t respond. The snowfall was heavier than ever, and I began to imagine him slipping on a sidewalk, falling, and hurting himself. He was steadier on his legs than when I’d first met him, but at the end of a long day, his limp was pretty pronounced. Even though the scars on his face had faded substantially, I knew other injuries from his car accident still gave him pain.

The timer went off
, and I pulled the pan of enchiladas from the oven. At last the front door opened, and Baby’s excited barking as she greeted Jason rang through the apartment. Relief mingled with annoyance that he hadn’t responded to my text to put my fears to rest. But as I walked into the foyer, annoyance was chased away by a warm glow that rivaled the holiday candles. Jason stood cradling a wriggling Baby in his arms while she strained to get at his face and bathe it in kisses. They looked so cute together, I hardly minded the snow shedding from his coat in clumps and melting in puddles on the floor.

Jason looked up. “Hey! Smells great in here. You want me to take Baby out since I’m already dressed?”

“That’s okay. You must be starved, and dinner’s ready. She can wait for her last walk of the evening.”

He put the dog on the floor and unzipped his coat.
I hurried over to save my wood floor from more melting snow. “Uh, let’s shake that out in the hallway to get the snow off.”

“Sorry.” He surrendered the coat to me. “And sorry I’m late. I had some errands to run.”

“No biggie. Did you remember the milk and dog food?”

“Uh…
Afraid not.”

I bit down on my annoyance as I shook the coat outside our apartment
, then hung it in the closet. “You didn’t get my text?”

“No. I
didn’t hear it go off, I guess.” He fished his phone from his back pocket and checked it. “Oh. Guess it needs recharging.”

I kept myself from reminding him that this sort of thing was exactly why he carried his
iPad. He couldn’t trust his memory about things like picking up milk or recharging his phone. And that was okay. It wasn’t his fault. But he kept lists of things to do for a reason, and it really irritated me when he got lazy about it.

Water
soaked into my socks as I moved across the foyer floor. I started to head toward the kitchen to get some paper towels to mop up with, but Jason stopped me with a hand on my arm.

“You okay? You seem tense.”

“I just got off the phone with my mom a bit ago. She says hello, by the way, and that she’s looking forward to having us for the holidays.”

“Well, that sounds good.”

“Yeah. I’m just… I tend to read things between the lines, even if they’re not there. My mom isn’t like yours. Visiting your folks is like going to Mayberry or something. I’m a little worried about how this trip to Bloomfield Hills is going to go.”

“Because of me?” Jason cocked his head, forcing me to meet his eyes.

“Because of a lot of things, mostly this ongoing tension between me and my mom.”

“Maybe she’s changed.”

“Maybe…” I started to pull away to go get those towels, but Jason tugged me closer instead. He lifted me off the floor into a big bear hug and kissed me hard. He smelled like the outdoors, and his lips were cold, but his mouth was hot.

A
ll my worries about the trip north melted like snow in the heat of that kiss. Jason had been fine at the office party last night. He hadn’t had any kind of emotional tantrum in a long time. The meeting with my family would be fine too.  Whatever hang-ups I had were my own. All I needed to do was support him while we were around my mom and dad.

He nuzzled below my ear, lips tickling my neck.
“Mm, you smell like cinnamon.”

“That’s a candle.
” I tipped my head back, and he kissed my throat, sending shivers through every part of me.

“Too. Heavy.” He grunted and set me back on the
floor.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room
, where we collapsed on the couch, wrapped all around each other. Soon our clothes were off, and we were touching everywhere. Heat from the gas fireplace warmed my skin, but Jason’s hands, gliding up my thighs, burned. He teased my pussy with nimble fingers, then moved down to take over with his tongue.

I stretched and moaned
, hips rising and falling beneath his touch. My groans grew loud enough to make Baby whimper over on her cushion where she’d settled with a long-suffering sigh. She’d learned to remove herself from our private times, but she didn’t have to like it.

Through half-closed eyes, I stared at the blurred Christmas tree, the sparkle of ornaments and lights matching the growing twinkles of pleasure bursting through me. With expert strokes of his tongue, Jason prompted me to the very edge, then lightly nudged me over.

I gasped as I came
, and powerful joy surged through me. The choir on the stereo seemed to be singing hallelujahs for me. After the last pulse of pleasure died away, I opened my eyes to stare into Jason’s. He’d moved on top of me, and his erection bumped against my pussy. I reached down to guide him inside. He swallowed and closed his eyes. That moment of vulnerability, of Jason overcome by desire thrilled me. And then he was pressing into me, and that thrilled me even more.

Wrapping my legs around his hips, I held him secure in the cradle of my body
, and we moved together.

Sometimes sex is just sex. It feels great
, but the emotions aren’t fully engaged. Even a couple in love has their share of “just sex” encounters. But sometimes the heart opens up, a sort of inner light comes on, and you can
feel
how important the act is and how good you are together. That’s the kind of sex we had that cold winter evening.

Jason thrust deep inside and opened his eyes to look into mine. We were connected
, and nothing could come between us.

Chapter Three

Jason

Baby’s hind paws dug into my balls, while
her front paws pressed against the window. Her tongue lolled crazily out of one side of her mouth as she watched the cars on the highway zip by. She was thrilled to be going on a ride, her eagerness the opposite of my growing dread.

I
glanced at Anna driving with a fixed stare at the road before us.

“I’m sorry. There wasn’t a lot I could do
.” I apologized even though it wasn’t my fault the kennel had been unable to take Baby after all.

“I know. I’m just frustrated,” she said. “My mom isn’t going to like this at all, but the only alternative was
canceling our visit.”

“
My folks probably would’ve watched her,” I reminded her, a bit annoyed she hadn’t listened to my suggestion.

“They’re
in the complete opposite direction. It would’ve added miles onto the trip. Besides, I wouldn’t want to put them to any trouble. My mom will just have to deal. We’ll keep Baby in her crate in the garage. It’s heated.”

A heated garage
—a small detail that emphasized the difference between my background and Anna’s. My dad owned a hardware store, a struggling one these days, and my mom was a teacher in the small town of Pickens, where no one had heated garages. If they were going to work on their engine or change the oil, they set up a space heater.

Anna’s family was chock
-full of lawyers. Her parents lived in Bloomfield Hills, an upscale suburb north of Detroit. I’m sure they’d expected she would hook up with someone equally professional. It was no wonder they weren’t thrilled about their shining star of a daughter getting involved with a janitor, now dog washer. This was going to be a grueling few days.

“I felt really bad leaving
Sarah and Saffron to deal with the mess,” I said. “This is a huge deal for them. The holiday season is their number one boarding time, and they may lose customers over these last-minute cancellations.”

“
They couldn’t help that the power went off and the water pipes froze, then burst.” Anna was trying to be sympathetic to my bosses’ plight, but I knew she was still pretty exasperated by the inconvenience of having to bring Baby with us.

I pictured several inches of water on the floor and wet
, miserable dogs in their cages. Sarah would have to blow them dry and figure out a way to house them until their owners could get them. Meanwhile, Saffron would be lining up someone to remove the water, or shop-vaccing it herself. She was the one who’d called this morning to tell me they had to cancel all boarders for the next few days. A pang of guilt stabbed through me at leaving them to deal with this while I enjoyed my Christmas holiday.

Although really, how enjoyable would it be? Anna’s anxiety was starting to
make me feel jittery too. It didn’t help that the ring I’d bought was burning a hole in my jacket pocket. I could feel it there, taunting me, saying,
What the hell do you think you’re doing? You really think she’s ready for that kind of commitment?

I stroked Baby’s wiry fur
, and she turned toward me, blasting me with hot dog breath. I rolled her onto her back and ruffled her belly.

Anna glanced over
and smiled at me. “Sorry if I seem a little tense. I’m dreading this trip. I wish I’d said we’d already made plans with your family. Now
that
would be a fun Christmas. I can’t wait to see Katie open the boxed set of
Bloodsucker
movies. She’s going to love it.”

“Next weekend,” I
reminded her.

“Yeah, but your little sister shouldn’t have to wait to celebrate. Kids like to have their holidays
on
the holiday.”

“Mom and
Dad will make sure she has plenty of presents to open Christmas morning too.”

I liked that Anna cared about my family and that she would prefer to spend time with them than
with her own. She fit right in, and they loved her. But I was starting to get the feeling that she needed to work through stuff with her own mom. Avoiding the woman wasn’t going to get it done. This visit might be exactly what Anna needed—a little unpleasant but necessary. Kind of like physical therapy, only that was a
lot
unpleasant.

I stopped rubbing the dog’s belly
, and she curled up to sleep on my lap. The ring in my pocket was like an itch deep under a layer of bandage. I couldn’t scratch it, and so it itched all the more. I found myself practicing a dozen different versions of a proposal. The words were almost literally trembling on the tip of my tongue.

Impulse control
was a struggle for me due to my brain trauma. I really don’t remember the guy I was before. From what I’d learned, it seemed he’d kept secrets. But the guy I was now didn’t like them and hated waiting. I wanted to blurt out what was on my mind.

“You’re quiet
.” Anna tapped her fingers on the steering wheel in time with the song on the radio. “You look uncomfortable. Is your leg sore? Want to take a break at a rest stop and walk for a bit?”

“Sure,” I said.

Several miles later, we pulled into the parking lot and got out of the warm car into a frigid blast of arctic air. We’d driven out of the heavy snow that socked in Columbus, but the barren fields of middle Ohio didn’t have so much as a tree to stop the icy wind.

I bent
, pulled my collar up around my ears, and trudged over to the pet-walking area so Baby could cop a squat. Anna scurried into the rest stop to use the facilities.

While she was gone, I took the ring box from my pocket and flipped it open. The ring looked smaller and less shiny than it had under the lights in the pawnshop. The stone was too small, barely a diamond chip
, really. Anna would hate it. Or she wouldn’t, because I would never give it to her. The whole idea was stupid.

Baby pulled at the lead, straining to get at some new and interesting smell. Probably dog shit. I moved along with her, hunching my shoulders against the wind and wishing I’d remembered to put on a hat.

Anna joined me and took the leash from my hand so I could take my turn at the restroom. The little building was warm and empty. Surprisingly few other travelers on the road today. I did my thing, then let the hand dryer warm up my frozen hands. I walked over to the Ohio map on the wall and the display of brochures that announced all the interesting tourist sites in the state. There weren’t many.

I stared at the map, reading the town names to myself as I rolled the little box over and over in my palm
inside my pocket. I was going to do this thing. I loved Anna, and I wanted her to know I intended to have a future with her. The only question was when. Maybe waiting for Christmas Eve was wrong. Maybe I should tell her
before
we arrived, giving her time to think about it, and then later we could announce it to her parents.

A rosy daydream in which the result was all smiles and champagne toasts played out in my head. I must have lost track of time
, because Anna popped up beside me again.