New Leaf (17 page)

Taffeta, taken off guard, couldn’t think what to say and blurted, “I was a baby nobody wanted. No child of mine will ever be a piece of trash that I throw away.”

Barney knotted his hand over the garments he held. “You’re right. I didn’t mean—well, I’m just upset and shooting off my mouth without thinking, Taffy. And just for the record, I feel the same way. If what just happened results in a baby, I’ll step up to the plate, and we’ll somehow make it work.”

Taffeta already knew that. Before her stood one of the most wonderful men she’d ever known, a relentlessly responsible and serious guy in so many ways. It was almost a compliment that he’d lost control with her and engaged in unprotected sex. She had a feeling that he’d never been careless with any other woman. If that didn’t send her a strong signal about how he felt about her, what would?

He sighed. “I’m messing this up nine ways to hell, aren’t I? Saying all the wrong things. Hurting your feelings. This should be a special moment. We should have time to talk. Can you just pretend I haven’t said anything until we talk tonight?”

“I’m good,” she said. “Don’t worry about me. You’re on duty, and you need to get back to work.”

“Of
course
I’m going to worry, Taffy. This happened because I brought you up here to comfort you about Sarah and calm you down. Instead we barely talked about her and fell into bed, and now I’m running out on you.”

Oddly his murmured promise that he’d help her get Sarah back had been a huge comfort to Taffeta. Until Sarah was safe, Taffeta would worry and be upset, but she trusted Barney and believed in him. With only a few words, he had eased some of the pain in her heart.

He resumed searching for the rest of his clothes, and Taffeta helped him, feeling oddly shy about letting the bedspread slip. What was that about? His hands or mouth had just been on nearly every part of her body. What did she have left to hide?

Clinging to the bedspread, she raced around, finding a sock here and a boot there. She froze when she came across his gun and Taser belt. Wary of the weapons, she scooted the belt into plain sight and started crawling around on the floor, looking for his other sock.

“I am
so
screwed,” he said. “I can’t find one sock or my boxers!”

A fleeting image of Barney in boxer shorts shot through her brain. He was the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen.

Taffeta finally found his boxers. Somehow they’d worked their way under one of the pillows.
Along with his honor,
she guessed. “I found them!”

Barney raced in from the tiny living room, still naked and clutching his outer clothes, which he
wouldn’t put on without the basics. Taffeta held out the garments and took advantage of the opportunity to admire his body as he hopped around on one foot and then the other to dress.

“I’m still missing one sock,” he observed as he put on his boots. “But that’s fine. No one will notice.”

As he strapped on his gun belt, she felt just a tiny bit sorry for herself. He was leaving her. Raking a hand through his hair, he retrieved his Stetson from the kitchen table, planted it on his head, and strode toward the door. Hand on the knob, he hesitated. Then he swung back around, covered the distance between them, and caught her up in his arms.

Holding her close, he said, “
That
was the best. It really was, Taffy. But I have to go. No more tears. I mean it. Sarah will be okay until we can get custody. Kids live through worse. We’re going to bring her home soon. I promise.”

We?
Taffeta hugged her waist as he drew away. If only that were a Freudian slip of the tongue. She loved Barney Sterling. There was no denying it. Maybe he’d break her heart. But she couldn’t control her feelings for him and didn’t want to try, especially not now. Making love with him had been the most incredible experience of her life. If she lived to be ninety, alone and unsatisfied, she would at least have the memory of experiencing wild, crazy, mindless sex with a wonderful man just once in her lifetime.

’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
. She believed in that. Mrs. Brassfield had taught her that. So while she had the
chance, she would love this man with every breath she took, even if it wasn’t meant to last.

•   •   •

After leaving Taffeta’s apartment, Barney nearly ran a stop sign because his thoughts were on her instead of his job.
Hot damn
. Over the years, Barney had enjoyed sex with some women more than he did with others, but he had never experienced anything close to what he just shared with Taffy. He remembered wondering while they danced at their wedding reception if they would move with the same perfect harmony while making love. Now he had his answer. It was as if their bodies were made for each other. And as he peeled the layers away to learn who she really was, he couldn’t help feeling that their hearts came from the same mold as well. How could a guy keep his head on straight when everything between two people seemed so right?

Barney could barely wait for his shift to be over.

•   •   •

When Taffeta finally got herself tidied up, she hurried downstairs to reopen her shop for business. Her first customer entered minutes later, a petite young woman with cropped dark hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and a darling heart-shaped face. Taffeta instantly recognized her. Sissy Sue Bentley from the Cauldron
.
She looked like a pixie even though she wore a long-sleeve gray T-shirt and jeans. Taffeta adored old movies—one of her favorites was
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
—and this young lady could have been Audrey Hepburn’s double.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Sissy Sue Bentley. I own the
Cauldron on West Main. I’ve been in lots of times to offer you my lunch specials, but I’ve never taken time to really introduce myself.”

Taffeta and Barney had intended to do dinner at Sissy’s restaurant and never had done so. Studying the younger woman, Taffeta tried to imagine having anything in common with her. In appearance, they were complete opposites, but when Taffeta searched Sissy’s eyes, she glimpsed sadness in their blue depths. Sadness and wisdom.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Taffeta shook her hand. “My husband and I are planning to have dinner at your place soon.”

Sissy grinned. “Well, the menu isn’t fancy, but I’ve finally learned how to grill a decent burger without charring the edges. My aunt Mable left me the place, and my only experience in a café was waiting tables for six months.”

Taffeta thought she looked too young to take over a business, but looks could be deceiving, and she sensed in Sissy a quiet strength that had possibly been tempered by hardships. “I love hamburgers. But I’m sure you’re not here to discuss that. How can I help you?”

Sissy wrinkled her nose. “I’m on my feet and at a dead run twelve hours a day. My arches are killing me. One of my patrons said you might carry shoe inserts that would help.”

“Aha! I think I have just the thing!”

Taffeta was helping Sissy select shoe liners when the bell jangled again. She straightened to look over a top row of merchandise and saw Barney’s brother
Ben entering the shop. From the knees down, his jeans were dusty, but otherwise he looked freshly showered and sunshine clean.

“Hi, Ben. Barney isn’t here, I’m afraid.”

Ben grinned, reminding her so much of her husband that it was uncanny. He circled the shelving to stand at the end of the aisle. “Believe it or not, I dropped in to say hi to you, not Barney.”

Ben’s gaze dropped to the tiny woman crouched behind Taffeta. Taffeta saw his jaw muscle start to tic. He didn’t look back up. It was as if his eyes had gotten stuck in their sockets.

Sissy pushed upright, holding a box of inserts. As she straightened, Ben’s gaze followed her upward. “I think these will help!” she said. “And they won’t demolish my bank account.”

Taffeta remembered her manners. “Sissy, this is my brother-in-law Ben Sterling. Ben, this is Sissy Sue Bentley. She’s fairly new in town, just like me. Her aunt passed away and left Sissy her café, the Cauldron over on West Main.”

Ben said, “I think I have a sudden craving for a burger and fries.”

Sissy’s cheeks went pink. She flashed a startled look at Taffeta. Ben’s grin broadened. Taffeta could almost feel the electricity that snapped in the air. She bit back a smile, wondering if the legend of Mystic Creek might be at work again. Sissy looked like a doe caught in the blinding glow of headlights.

When the pair left at the same time, Taffeta couldn’t help smiling. She would have bet her last dollar that Ben would now become one of Sissy’s
most regular customers. He was a little older than Sissy, who looked to be in her early twenties. Taffeta wasn’t sure how old Ben was, but he was Barney’s senior and probably in his early thirties. That was a ten-year difference. Although Taffeta supposed age didn’t really matter when two people struck sparks off each other. Maybe Ben was just what Sissy needed, someone older and more mature with a lot of experience under his belt. Or maybe Sissy’s youthful outlook on life was exactly what Ben needed.

Taffeta needed to focus on her own love life, since she and Barney had just struck enough sparks to ignite an inferno. She glanced at the clock and nearly groaned aloud. She had five more hours to put in before she could call it a day and be with Barney again.

At the end of his shift, Barney got delayed at work with his report and briefing Erin De Laney, the female deputy who’d come on duty to relieve him. Once he left the building, he ran to his truck, hopped in, keyed the engine to life, and peeled from the parking lot. He exceeded the speed limit on the country roads to get home as fast as he could and only relaxed when he saw Taffeta’s Honda parked in front of his house. He’d messed up so badly after having sex with her, saying all the wrong things and acting like a complete jerk, that he wouldn’t have been surprised to find that she’d moved back to her shop apartment.

Heck, as far as he knew, she could be inside packing right now to do just that, and he wouldn’t blame her.

He leaped from the Dodge and broke into another run. His boots echoed loudly on the wooden veranda as he scaled the steps and gained the welcome mat with two long strides. He pushed open the portal, rushed inside, and yelled, “Taffy?”

“I’m right here, Barney.”

He blinked, searched, and saw her standing in the
archway to the dining room. She wore that silky blue slip thing that he’d glimpsed her in the night Paul Kutz filed a complaint against her. She looked so beautiful. Her dark hair lay in a satiny drape over her slender shoulders. Her eyes, large and uncertain, clung to his. His mouth went as dry as sunbaked dirt.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to—I didn’t expect you to—holy hell.”

Her mouth curved into a tremulous smile. “I closed up early and came home to fix you a special dinner, including a loaf of sourdough made with your new starter.”

Barney didn’t give a shit about food. She sidled closer, her smile turning impish. “But first, you have to enjoy the appetizer.” She made a fist over the front of his uniform shirt and tugged. He followed her like a well-trained puppy to her bedroom. She let go of his shirt and turned to face him again. “At least, I
hope
you’ll enjoy the appetizer. I’m the only choice on the menu.”

Barney forced himself to speak with a throat that felt closed off and a tongue that felt like rubber. “Don’t we need to talk first? I handled everything all wrong this afternoon.”

She shook her head. “I want you, Barney. Will you please make love to me?”

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Barney knew an honorable guy would keep his pants zipped. But how could he say no to a request like that?

•   •   •

The first time with Barney had been wild, frenzied, and fast. Taffeta wouldn’t have been disappointed if he had treated her to the same experience again, but Barney seemed determined to do things more slowly. He stepped closer to lightly trail his hands down her arms, his fingertips igniting her skin wherever they touched. Then he bent to trail kisses over her shoulder, tracing the narrow strap of her chemise.

“I don’t think I’ve told you how special you are to me,” he whispered. “Before we do this again, I think you need to know that I’ve never felt this way about another woman.”

Taffeta noticed that he had carefully avoided saying the
L
word, but she didn’t mind. She was coming to realize that Barney had to think everything through before he made a move, and he felt out of control when he did anything impulsive.

She tipped her head to nibble the side of his neck. “I’ve never felt this way about another man, so we’re even.”

She helped him unbutton his shirt. It was like unwrapping a fabulous birthday present for the second time, but knowing what was under the layers only increased her pleasure. When he was bare from the waist up, he unbuckled his trouser and holster belts. Then he toed off his boots. She almost giggled when she saw that one of his feet was bare, but he didn’t give her a chance. He grabbed the hem of her chemise and swept it off over her head.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

“I have stretch marks on my hips, and my boobs
sag from nursing Sarah.” She thought of her other flaws. “My stomach isn’t as flat as it used to be, either. And my right breast is slightly bigger than my left one.”

He came to stand in front of her again. “Slightly is right.” He cupped her breasts in his palms, making her breath catch. “I think you’re perfect, and right at this moment, my opinion is the only one that counts.”

He caught her up in his arms and gently lowered her to the bed. His gaze smoldered as he stripped off his pants, his boxers, and the one sock. She heard coins fall from a pocket and jangle on the floor. When he lay next to her, Taffeta rolled toward him, intoxicated by the scent of his cologne and the muskiness of his skin.

“You don’t have to go slow,” she whispered. “This morning was fabulous.”

“This morning
was
fabulous,” he said, his voice thick with desire, “but this time I want to explore every inch of you, taste every inch of you, and give you the best sex you’ve ever had.”

“You already did.”

“No. I gave you fast and hard. This time my aim is to go slow so you can have multiple orgasms.”

Taffeta couldn’t argue with a plan like that. For her, just attaining a climax once had been the experience of a lifetime.

His mouth closed over her nipple, and Taffeta forgot everything except the wonderful man who held her in his arms. Making love with him earlier had been like riding waves on a storm-tossed sea, but
now he changed the tempo. The currents of desire within her eddied slowly. He suckled her breasts. He nibbled the sensitive skin at the bend of her arms. He even drew her fingertips into his hot, silken mouth. Every touch, every deep kiss, every shift of his body against hers increased her need.

She wanted to give him pleasure as well, but when she tried to run her hands over him, he whispered, “Don’t, honey. I’m way too hungry for you. That’ll push me over the edge. I want to do this right.”

By the time he finished with her, Taffeta had climaxed so many times she’d lost count and was once again so aroused that her whole body throbbed with urgency. He’d left no part of her unattended. When he finally rose over her and thrust into her, she cried out, locking her legs around his hips and lifting her own to meet his thrusts.
Barney
. Darkness veiled her eyes, leaving her able to see only starbursts. She soared higher and higher, clinging to him as if he were her only anchor.

They climaxed together, their rhythm growing faster, the thrusts harder. He drove deep into her, the tempered, pulsating length of him connecting with pleasure points inside her that she hadn’t known she possessed. They peaked together and spiraled over the edge into shared oblivion. When he groaned and lowered himself to lie beside her, Taffeta felt as if every bone in her body had dissolved.

Barney held her close in his arms, their legs intertwined, skin slick with sweat. He pressed his face to
her hair, tightened his embrace, and murmured, “Where have you been all my life?”

“I was waiting for you,” she replied. “And I’d nearly given up on ever finding you.”

“You didn’t. I found you. And I’m sure glad I did.”

Taffeta was slowly coming back down to earth, and she wanted—no,
needed
—Barney to know that she wasn’t in bed with him out of a sense of obligation or gratitude. “I’m falling in love with you, Barney Sterling.” In truth, Taffeta knew that she’d already taken the leap, but she sensed that Barney needed time to accept the sudden shift in their relationship. “Last time, you didn’t believe me when I told you that I had a crush on you from the first time I saw you—or that I fantasized about being with you. But it’s the truth. You can call it a lonely woman’s solution to needs that couldn’t be fulfilled, but you were the man I imagined dancing with—you and only you.”

His embrace tightened. “I have feelings for you,” he confessed. “But I’m not ready to put a name on them yet. Maybe I never will be.”

“And that’s fine. Feelings are very individual. I won’t be the first woman to fall in love with a man who can’t love her back. I’m an adult. I understand the risks. But no matter what your feelings are toward me, you shouldn’t feel guilty about being with me. I
want
to make love with you, and that is my choice to make. Right?”

•   •   •

Barney’s heart caught.
Love
was a word that a lot of people said without meaning it. He had never told a woman outside his family that he loved her, and he wasn’t going to start with Taffeta. He cared for her. He enjoyed her company. She was a very special person, and he couldn’t help wondering if he had finally found his one true love. But it was too soon for him to know that for certain.

He sensed that she was waiting for him to say something, and he wasn’t sure what. He fell back on the truth. “I care about you. As far as romantic relationships go, I care more about you than about any woman I’ve ever known. But I’m not sure it’s love, at least not the real, forever kind.”

“It’s okay, Barney. Knowing you care for me is enough for now. I’m happy to wait and see where that leads us.”

•   •   •

For the next week, Barney and Taffeta continued to be seen together in town, only now the romantic gestures were no longer an act, and when they got home, they hurried either to his room or to hers to tear off each other’s clothes and fall into bed. For Barney, the sex was out of this world, the absolute best he’d ever had. Some nights they went for seconds or thirds, unable to get enough of each other. He’d never dated the same woman twice and had laughingly told his brothers that he was a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. But the truth was that, until meeting Taffeta, he’d never hungered for a woman after he’d been with her once. That first night, Taffeta had referred to herself as his
appetizer, and she hadn’t called it wrong. She was a delicious morsel that only whetted his appetite for more. Though each time with her left him totally sated and limp with exhaustion, the moment he recovered physically, he wanted her again.

One night in the throes of passion, Barney nearly blurted out that he loved her. He managed to bite back the words in the nick of time. This was a new experience for him. He had never felt compelled to say those words to a woman.

The next day during his lunch break, Barney dropped by his older brother Ben’s place to say hello. Ben, a rodeo broker who leased out livestock that he raised and trained for competition, was on the road a lot, following the circuit to make sure his animals were kept safe and treated humanely. If any guy on earth had a heap of experience with women under his belt, it had to be Ben.

When Barney pulled up at Ben’s place, he saw his brother exit an outdoor horse stall attached to the indoor riding arena. Ben closed the gate and jogged across the yard toward Barney’s truck. Of late, Ben had looked worn-out every time Barney saw him, but today there was a new bounce in his step. Barney swung out of his truck.

“Hey, bro, you been overdosing on vitamins?” he asked with a laugh.

Ben grinned. Like all the Sterling men, he was tall and deceptively slender with a loose-jointed stride, but when he stripped off his shirt, he had a body on him that most weight lifters might envy. “Nah, just having a good day,” he replied. “I’m
sick-to-death tired of being on the road all the time, and this morning I decided to think about making some changes.”

“What kind of changes?” Barney asked as he followed his brother toward the house, a one-story farm home much like his own, which Ben had renovated. “I figured you’d be stuck in the same rut until you retire because the money’s so good.”

Ben threw open the front door and led Barney to the kitchen. “Can you cheat for once and have a beer while you’re on duty?” he asked as he opened the fridge. “I’ve got some nice brews.”

Barney seldom drank anything alcoholic while working. “What the hell? Why not? My whistle needs wetting, and one beer won’t hurt.”

Straddling a stool at the bar, Barney watched Ben snap off the beer caps. Each of them took a long pull from their sighed in appreciation. “So why the sudden desire to make some changes in your life?” Barney asked.

“I’m tired,” Ben admitted. “My horse trailer with living quarters is nice. Hell, with two slide-outs, who can complain? But it’s not the same as being at home, not the same as having a wife and kids, not the same as having people besides parents and siblings who give a shit about me. I think I’m about ready to settle down and give Mom another grandchild.”

Barney felt as if he’d just been blindsided. “You? I thought your motto was to stay footloose and fancy free.”

“Has been,” Ben agreed. “And I’ve enjoyed it.
Buckle bunnies totally turn me off, but I’ve met some nice women with good heads on their shoulders during my travels.” He shrugged. “One-night stands get old, though. I’m ready for something permanent.”

Barney’s radar alerts went off. “You’ve met someone.”

Ben laughed. “Correction. I’m shopping. I have sighted in on an interesting prospect, but even when I try to be friendly with her, I can’t get to first base.”

“Who?”

Ben took another slug of beer. “Her name is Sissy Sue. God. It sounds like something from
Hee Haw
. Remember when Mom and Dad used to laugh themselves sick over those silly old reruns? But that’s her name, Sissy Sue. She’s prettier than the sunrise, the sunset, and everything in between.”

“Sissy Sue Bentley over at the Cauldron?”

Ben arched his eyebrows. “You know her? Maybe you can give me another introduction. I met her in Taffeta’s shop last week. But when I go into her place for dinner at night, she acts like I have head lice.”

Barney had come here for some advice from Ben. Wasn’t that just the way it went with brothers? When he needed a few words of wisdom whispered in his ear, his brothers upstaged him with problems of their own. “I think Sissy Sue has been through some really hard times, Ben. If you’re interested in her, don’t rush her and don’t lose your patience.”

“What kind of hard times?”

Barney sighed. “I can’t say for sure. I only know
that I’m a damned good judge of people after being in law enforcement, and Sissy Sue sends off signals to me that life hasn’t treated her kindly. She reminds me a lot of Taffy. I think that if they ever got to know each other, they’d have a lot in common.”