New Beginnings (New Beginnings Series) (36 page)

“Maybe he knew Sara … he should … prepare.”

“I don’t think so. When I received the letter from Anne, she wrote he died suddenly of suspected heart failure. He was eighty-two years old and lived here alone after Mother died nine years ago.” She sat on the floor and pulled a few items out of the box, including a pair of cufflinks shaped like the heads of his Shire horses. She smelled the pipe she held in her hand, “It was the only pipe tobacco I ever liked.”

“Is anybody here?” they heard a woman shout from downstairs.

Sara quickly put the items back before she ran out the door. “Anne, is that you?”

She continued to run down the steps and met her long-time friend at the bottom of the stairs. She would have given her an instant embrace, but waited until Anne set the steaming dish of food down. They were both laughing as they held tightly onto each other, jumping up and down in each other’s arms.

“I can’t believe you are here,” Anne said as she beamed her pleasure. “And Duncan has told me you have married again. I am so happy for you. I should be happy for you, shouldn’t I, Sara?” she added, looking seriously into her friend’s eyes.

“Yes, Anne, you can be very happy for me.”

Sam stepped out from the doorway at the bottom of the stairs, grinning at the delight his wife was feeling. Seeing her friend’s new husband, Anne added, “I agree, I can be very happy for you.” She added quietly so Sam could barely hear her, “At your age you are still finding the good-looking ones.”

After introductions were made the three went back into the kitchen where Anne set about placing the cooked food into the warming oven. “Duncan is going to be coming soon with a few supplies and will be leaving a horse and carriage for you. I will take him back home with me later.” She asked Sam if he would go out to the well to get a bucket of water. Then she set about wiping the dust from the table and took the dishes from the cupboard and set for four. Sara was slightly taken aback as her friend knew where all the dishes were kept. She then realized who carefully tended to the house and the personal effects of the people who lived there.

It wasn’t long before Anne’s brother arrived with an arm full of various assortments of goods, which would help the couple through a few days. They sat down at the table and enjoyed a delicious stew. The women seemed to have no time to eat, as they were full of conversation. The men more or less listened to them talk. At times Duncan would try to include Sam in the discussion as there was little he could participate in as the others reminisced.

After the supper the men went to work cleaning up the dishes as the women gave most of the furniture the once-over with the dust cloth and went upstairs to prepare the bedroom. They continued to talk about lost times. They would have continued doing so when Duncan informed his sister he had to get home to his family. He was going to have to be at the station early the next morning as the train was scheduled to arrive near eight. The women hated to be separated, but Anne said she must get home and see that the children were away to bed as there was school tomorrow.

“Sometimes Henry isn’t quite as attentive as he should be when it comes to bed time. The children know if they don’t raise too big of a commotion they will get away with nearly anything. But I will only leave if you promise to come to our home for supper tomorrow night. Do you remember where we live, Sara?”

“Of course, Anne, how could I forget?” As they did many times through the night the ladies hugged one last time before they parted company.

Being tired after their time-consuming journey, the Fieldings soon went to bed. It was hard for Sara to settle down to sleep, finding it remarkable after so long to be back in her childhood home again. In a way it did feel like home again, but only the familiarity of it.

“I feel like the house is the same, but nothing else is.” Sara paused for a moment before changing the sombre thought. “Anne really likes you.”

“I really wasn’t certain when she asked if she should be happy for you. What did it mean?”

“Anne and I have been best friends all of our lives and she knew when William and I got married we weren’t really in love. I confided in her more than I did with my own family. She was not one to spare my feelings when the truth needed to be told. She told me before we left she could not feel happy for me and it was not going to work the way I hoped. I really don’t understand how she knew, but she always was there for me. The letters took more than a month to travel between us, but she always had kind words for me, that would often see me through the hard times. She started to prepare the house for my return as after William died I planned on coming back here again. I never wrote back after I found out I was expecting and I felt I couldn’t return here. It is my only secret she doesn’t know about in my life … well, that and the fact you are the loans agent I wrote rather harshly to her about.”

“What did you have to say about me back in those days?”

“It really doesn’t matter, Sam. You have changed so much since then and are not the same man at all.”

“And I thank you for that.”

They continued to hold onto each other as they lay in the bed and although Sam slept, Sara found coming home again was not as settling as she thought it might be.

Later through the night Sara quickly sat upright, placing her feet on the floor beside the bed.

“What’s wrong, Sara?”

“I can smell smoke,” she stood up and reached for the dressing gown she always placed on the foot of the bed. Her husband quickly got up and together they searched through the house, but found nothing unusual.

Sam saw the look of despair on Sara’s face and hugged her close. “It wasn’t just smoke you smelled, was it?”

She looked back into his eyes and shook her head, “It smelled like father’s pipe tobacco. But it is gone now. Why do you ask?”

“I thought I smelled it earlier tonight, but thought it was my imagination because you held his pipe. It must be disturbing it, the scent was put into the air, or maybe there is a touch of it on the blankets.”

They both dismissed the idea and went back to their bed for the several hours until daylight. No, coming home again was not as expected and Sam was also beginning to feel the heaviness of it.

It was hard at first to know how to handle the situation. The next day Sara looked at the house as more or less a dilemma hanging over her. She stood looking out the kitchen window as Sam prepared eggs for them for breakfast.

As she turned and watched him for a moment, Sara went to him and put her arms around his waist. “This is one of the things which made Anne like you so much. You are not so caught up with being a man you can’t lend a hand around the house occasionally. Anne and Duncan’s mother died when they were young and he learned to care for the house as much as she did. He is still not one to object to helping. Anne says Duncan’s wife is a very lucky woman. She misses it herself as her husband is one to say men make the living, women care for the home and children.”

“This is really the least I can do for you, Sara. Besides I love doing little things for you. You are always doing them for me. You have a lot to think about while we are here … and decisions to make.”

“What decisions do I have to make?”

“What to do with the items in the boxes and what to do with the house and land.” After a long hesitation Sam added, “Whether you want to move back here.”

Sara was quiet, not realizing her husband was capable of reading her mind as much as she could read his at times. “I have thought about it, Sam. This is not our home and it doesn’t feel like our place. No, I want to go back to Brandon after we have finished our travels. I have old friends here, but I have friends in Manitoba too and that is my life now.”

Sam lifted the eggs onto a plate, set the frying pan on the back of the stove and turned to his wife. “It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, but I want you to know if you want I will move back here with you,”

Sara couldn’t give him an answer right away. She really didn’t expect him to say this.

Throughout the day they went through the boxes containing items from old stamps to Sara’s letters to old clothing. Some belonged to Sara’s mother and some were her own.

“I always thought it was mother who held onto the past by keeping my old clothing and now I find my father was just as bad. Mother was very sick for a long time before she died and he cared for her until the day she took her last breath. He wrote to me, but I never knew how hard it really was on him. Seeing all the things he kept for reminders makes me realize how much he really loved her.”

She continued looking through the boxes, putting aside the items which meant something to her.

They went for supper at Anne’s home and met her husband and five children. Sam found his wife to be quieter when she saw her friend this time and knew Anne also felt the change in her. They enjoyed a lovely evening but this time it felt to be among strangers rather than friends. Before they left that night, Anne found the opportunity to take Sam to the side without Sara being aware.

“Sara told me you have let her decide if she wants to come home or not and you have agreed to move here if it is what she wants.”

“I have,” he answered her.

“For many years I have missed Sara and always hoped she would return one day. But I know her well and I can see she is not happy here. Help her to make the decision to return to your home, or go where she can be happy. She has lived a long time for others and their wants, never getting what she really needed. I can see it is only the best you want for her. She has told me the real reason why you have come here and are going to Philadelphia. Make her happy, Sam, but you must help her. She has forgotten how to be satisfied with her decisions.”

“I will, Anne, I promise I will make Sara happy.”

She nodded her answer, being quite satisfied with the few words he spoke. When Sara returned to the room, Anne knew she had found a man who would provide for her friend’s every need and want.

The Fieldings went back to the house and for the next two days searched through boxes for keepsakes. Several people stopped in to visit Sara while they stayed, but none shared the close friendship she had with Anne. When it seemed all the boxes were rummaged through, Sam thought to examine a cedar blanket box at the foot of the bed Sara’s mother and father had shared. He found letters their daughter sent to them through the years, including several she wrote during the war. At the bottom of the box was the huge family Bible, similar to the type most people kept in their home and wrote their family histories in. He set the letters aside, but sat down on the bed, looking through the pages at the family tree in the beginning of the book. The years went back to the early 1600’s when the Winston family lived in England, then immigrated to the United States in the 1700’s. It was obvious most of the information was written from another book, possibly another family Bible and was written probably in Sara’s mother’s hand. He came to the pages holding the information of the immediate family and what he saw made him stop. Without looking any further he took the Bible to his wife.

Sara sat at the kitchen table looking through many books containing her mother’s recipes, trying to find the ones that were her favourites in her youth. She didn’t look up when Sam entered the room, until he spoke, finding the words he said quite unbelievable.

“Sara, you didn’t tell me you had brothers and sisters.

She looked back at him quite shocked at what he told her and couldn’t believe it when she saw the page in the book he opened before her. On the left was the page marked “Births,” and what followed was:

Children of Jacob and Elizabeth Winston:

-Henry Arthur born March 11, 1837, Watts Flats, New York

-Frank Robert born December 12, 1841, Watts Flats, New York
 

-Margaret Susan born May 7, 1843, St. Stephen, New Brunswick

-Sara Catherine born September 25, 1845, St. Stephen, New Brunswick

-Deborah Rose born August 12, 1847, St. Stephen, New Brunswick

On the page opposite the births was marked “Marriages” on which the only entry was Sara Catherine Winston wed to William Gardiner, January 30, 1865

-Birth: William (Willie) Isaac, born December 1, 1866, St. Stephen, N.B.

Frantically Sara turned to the next page and the words seemed to jump out at her. The word ‘Deaths’ appeared so bold at the top of the page and what was written below it looked almost too intense to read, but she did read the words which stunned her.

-Henry Arthur, son of Jacob and Elizabeth, November 4, 1839 of pneumonia, Watts Flats, New York

-Frank Robert, son of Jacob and Elizabeth, January 7, 1842, cause unknown, Watts Flats, New York

-Margaret Susan, daughter of Jacob and Elizabeth, May 13, 1843, cause unknown, St. Stephen, New Brunswick

-Deborah Rose, Daughter of Jacob and Elizabeth, August 12, 1847, stillborn St. Stephen, New Brunswick

-Elizabeth Shannon Winston (Stevens), October 29, 1873 at the age of 68, after a lengthy illness, St. Stephen, New Brunswick

“What does this mean, Sam? I don’t understand what it means.” Her eyes searched her husband’s face hoping to find an answer … any answer. All he could do was comfort her when the tears started. She leaned ahead over the book, her head resting on her folded arms. Sam’s hand gently rubbed her back. She sat up again, looking at those words, but not really seeing them.