Never Giving Up (Never #3) (5 page)

After a moment she fell forward, relaxing on the bed, and I shivered as my cock pulled out of her. I flopped onto the bed next to her, trying to reign in my breathing, waiting for my brain to turn back on. Eventually she turned over to look at me, a smile shimmering over her face, lighting up the dim room.

“We’re good at making babies,” she said coyly. I had to smile at her, still a little out of breath. Usually, under previous circumstances, she would have gotten out of bed and gone to clean up, but lately she’d been staying in bed after we made love, obviously the protocol altered by trying to get pregnant. I couldn’t lie; the thought of her spending the whole night with my cum inside of her was a huge turn on. There’ve been a few times when we had a quickie in the morning and she left the house for the day with me inside of her, smelling of me, and my reaction was primitive. Positively primal. She was mine and I marked her to prove it. I laughed at myself. I knew I was having caveman thoughts, liking the idea of my seed inside of her, but I would challenge any man in love to argue with me. Having her full of me was an intensely gratifying feeling.

“I’ll add it to my resume. Hopefully it works, but I love perfecting our technique.” I made it out of bed, bringing her a glass of water.

“Thank you,” she said before taking a sip. I put the water on her nightstand and then flipped off the lights and climbed into bed, bringing her close to me, twining our fingers together.

“Do you want a boy or a girl first?” She whispered. I rubbed my thumb along the palm of her hand. We had this discussion before, but I loved talking about our future child with her, so I answered.

“I don’t care as long as it’s healthy, but I think deep down I’d like a boy.” Ella brought my hand to her mouth and kissed it softly right over my knuckles.

“Your father would be very proud of you, Porter.” Of course she’d hear what I hadn’t said. I longed for a son in a way that defied logic to me. I would love a daughter. I would spoil her and protect her and provide for her, but my soul needed a son. I wanted to feel that connection a father had with his boy.

“He would have loved you,” I whispered into her hair.

“I know,” she said sleepily, making me smile.

“I love you,” I said against her ear.

“Mmm. I love you too.”

It has been five weeks since my last period. That morning, after Porter left, I readied myself for work and was surprised to find myself leaning over the toilet when brushing my teeth triggered some weird gag reflex. I heaved my breakfast into the toilet and then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, smiling as I pressed my other hand against my belly. I had never been so excited to throw up in my life.

Porter and I both knew that I was late—he watched the calendar even more carefully than I did. But neither of us had mentioned it. I assumed his reasoning was the same as mine; we didn’t want to jinx it. But the barfing clenched it for me. Morning sickness? Yes. I
had
to be pregnant. I could feel the straining in my cheeks from the biggest smile I’d ever worn, only to be out done, I imagined, by the smile I would wear watching Porter come to the realization he was going to be a father.

I got up and nearly ran to my phone, dialing Megan’s number as quickly as I could.

“Hey, Fella,” she said cheerily as she answered her phone.

“Megs, do you have any free time today? Can you come to Salem?”

“I think so. I’ve got all three girls in Poppy today so getting away shouldn’t be a big deal. What do you need?”

“It’s not work related. I need a sister favor today.”

“Oh! Well then I can definitely fit you in. What’s up?” Her voice was still calm, but she sounded concerned.

“I just need you to come to Dahlia, but I need you to bring me something.”

“Ok . . . you’re being cryptic.”

“Can you bring a pregnancy test with you?”

“Are you serious?”

“Serious as a pregnancy test.”

“Holy shit, Ella.”

“Holy shit is right. Will you come see me? I could use a little sisterly support.”

“Um, yeah. Just let me call Brittany and let her know I won’t be in this morning. Oh my God, Ella. You think you’re pregnant?” She sounded wistful and far away, like she was lost in her own mind. I felt the stinging and prickling of tears coming on but I didn’t want to cry so I stood up and moved into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

“Yeah, I think I am,” was all I could manage without losing my composure.

“Ok, I’ll be at Dahlia in about two hours, with a pregnancy test. No big deal. I’ll just walk in with a brown paper sack that will change your life forever. No pressure.”

I had to laugh at her dramatics. “Megan, it will all be ok. Just buy a test and meet me there. You won’t change the outcome of the test by worrying about it.”

I heard her exhale loudly. “Ok. See you there.” She hung up and I got in the shower. My mind was so frazzled I couldn’t remember if I washed my hair or not so I ended up doing it again, just to be sure. I found myself smiling as I drove to the store, my mind clouded with images of Porter pushing a stroller, holding a newborn baby, tossing a baseball to a little blonde boy. I kept reminding myself that I still had to take the test and even then, still had months of waiting to do beyond that.

The waiting wasn’t any better at the store either. I found myself folding shirts, then refolding them, walking to the window to look for Megan, then finding something else to fold. I finally couldn’t take my own inability to sit still and decided to walk down the street to the coffee shop I went to every once in a while.

“Hi, what can I get started for you?” Asked the pretty brunette girl behind the counter. She smiled and was friendly, causing me to smile back at her.

“Hi, can I get a medium iced mocha?”

“Iced, huh?” She said as she scribbled on the plastic cup with her marker. “It’s pretty cold for iced drinks.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said as I dug through my purse for my wallet. “I don’t like hot drinks. Doesn’t really matter how cold it is.” I reached out to hand her my credit card and then a thought shot right to the front of my brain, making my heart falter. “Is it too late to make it decaf?”

She shook her head, “Of course not.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I’m sure one cup of coffee wasn’t going to hurt, but I wanted to do everything by the book. I couldn’t go screwing up this baby before I even was sure it was in there.

“Thank you.”

I walked back to the store really feeling the cold now that I was holding a cup of ice in my hand. I spotted Megan’s car parked on the street in front of Dahlia and a little jolt of anticipation shot through my system and my steps quickened. I unlocked the front doors and walked in, my eyes scanning for her.

“Oh my God, Fella, you’re glowing.” Megan stood behind the counter where a cash register would eventually be, smirking at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ha ha ha.”

“I’m just kidding. You look great.”

“Did you bring it?”

“Of course I did. Do you know how many choices you have when purchasing a pregnancy test? There are, like, twelve options. It took me a while to compare and contrast.”

“Ok, well, let me see it.”

She reached into her purse and pulled out a box that was mostly blue. “I chose the one that had actual words. I didn’t think you wanted any room for confusion.”

“No, I think if there’s any time in a woman’s life when she wants clarity, it’s while taking a pregnancy test,” I said, holding the box in my hands, looking it over, reading the instructions.

“Ella,” Megan said.

“Yeah?” I didn’t look at her, still focused on the box.

“Pee on the freaking stick.”

My eyes snapped up to her and my heart rate picked up with the expectant look on her face. This was it. I was going to take a pregnancy test. I couldn’t help but laugh at how, for so many of my younger years, the idea of taking a pregnancy test held a scary connotation. Being pregnant would have been terrifying, something that interrupted my life. But now, with Porter, a baby would even everything out, bring us closer, and ultimately make us that much happier. Now, instead of hoping it was negative, I would be praying and wishing for it to be positive.

I went into the small employee restroom, followed the instructions, and checked my watch to make sure I waited the appropriate three minutes. I walked back out to where Megan was waiting anxiously, tapping her fingers against the countertop.

“Well?” She asked excitedly as soon as she saw me.

“One more minute.” Officially the longest minute ever. When the second hand of my watch reached its mark, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and felt Megan come to stand right beside me, her arm wrapping around my waist, leaning in trying to peek at the test. I exhaled slowly and flipped it over.

Pregnant.

One word.

One perfect word.

I gasped and my hand came up to cover my mouth and I had to remind myself to breathe after a moment. Everything went a little blurry and as I blinked, I realized tears were filling my eyes.

“Oh my God,” I whispered.

“You made a baby,” Megan said, just as quiet as me, as if speaking loudly would disrupt what was happening. “That’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done.” She sounded like she was in awe of me.

“Oh my God.”

“Fella, you ok? Do you need to sit down? I could grab that step ladder.”

“I can’t believe it worked.”

“What? All the sex?”

I looked at her and I could feel how big my eyes were, my eyebrows stretching up to my hairline. “Yes. All the sex. It worked. It made a baby.”

Megan giggled a little and pushed me towards the step ladder by the counter. “Take a seat, Momma. Let the news soak in a little. Do you want me to call Porter?”

“No! I can’t tell him over the phone!”

“Ok, calm down. Just relax. This can’t be good for the baby,” she said, winking at me and smiling. I smiled back at her.

“You’re going to be an auntie.” Megan’s face lit up and she gave me the biggest smile that probably only rivaled my own.

“I’m going to be an auntie? Oh my God.” She plopped down on the step ladder next to me, both of our rears hanging off the side for both of us to fit. Her head fell gently to my shoulder as my hand floated to my belly. We sat like that for a few minutes and then my phone started ringing, pulling us from our baby trance. I grabbed my phone and saw it was Porter calling.

“Here Megan, tell him I’m in the bathroom.” I tossed my phone at her and, luckily, she caught it. She answered it and from her end of the conversation I could tell he was just calling to confirm that our night would be spent in Salem. Megan told him she’d relay the message and hung up, turning to me.

“What the heck?”

“I can’t talk to him on the phone. He would be able to tell something was going on. I’m just not ready to tell him yet.” I reached up and readjusted the messy bun of blonde hair that sat atop my head, trying to think of how I would tell my husband that he did, in fact, have excellent swimmers.

Later that evening, after Megan helped me plot and plan, I had what I considered a sweet and sexy way to tell Porter he was going to be a daddy. It had taken a little bit of effort, but I managed to get everything arranged in time before he came home from work.

The house in Salem wasn’t optimal. It wasn’t my dream home—Porter was building that for us on a plot of land right outside the city limits—a house without close neighbors, with land to grow on, a place where we could have privacy and house a growing family if that’s where we chose to be. But tonight, the house was perfect. Lit with the soft glow of candles, it felt like home because this was where my husband was. Where ever he was would be home to me.

I heard the front door close and my pulse thumped in my chest, anticipation making room for nerves and excitement.

“Babe?” He called out to me. He knew something was going on, made obvious by all the candles.

“I’m in the bedroom,” I called out.

“Ah, my favorite four words.” I smiled at that. I made sure I was positioned in a way that was alluring without being distasteful. I was on my back, leaning up on my elbows, my blonde hair flowing over my shoulders. I had one knee bent and pulled up, with both legs twisted to the side a bit. I hoped I looked sexy and not ridiculous. My fears were abated when Porter walked in and I watched his face change from happy and expectant to dark and dangerous. His eyes darkened as they roamed over my form, his hands clenching into tight fists at his sides. “Holy hell, Ella.”