Neither (5 page)

“He did it for you.”

She throws up her hands and bangs them on the steering wheel. “That's what makes this suck so much!”

“We would all do anything for you.”

“I know,” she says, turning her head.

I reach out and touch her face. My precious girl.

“We have to figure this out as soon as possible. Tell Viktor to get his people here now. I don't possibly see how things can get worse than they already are. Bring it on.” She blows her cheeks out and crosses her eyes.

“If that is what you want.”

“What I want is you. I don't care how we get there, but I want the end of the story to be 'and they lived happily ever after.' Is that too much to ask?”

“For anyone but you, yes. I'll do what I can.”

“That's all I ask,” she says, finally smiling.

I try out a smile back.

“Good job,” she says. She gets out of the car and takes my hand as we walk back into the house.

“Are you okay?” Texas asks.

“Yeah, just had a little freak out. Carry on.”

“You sure?”

Ava nods.

“Ava, I only made the bind to help you, to help Peter. I would not hurt my brother,” Viktor says.

“I know. It was stupid of me to think that you would. I guess I'm not a good judge. I thought Ivan was evil and then he turned out not to be, so what do I know?”

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Texas says.

“I do not know,” I say. “I thought that his one goal in life was to destroy me for what I did to Josephine, but something changed him. Something happened to him in the past few weeks that changed his outlook. I think that had something to do with you,” I say, looking at Ava.

Her green eyes go wide. “Me? What did it have to do with me?”

“He fell for you,” I say.

“What? You're crazy.”

She thinks I'm making a joke.

“It is true. The only thing that would have changed his mind about getting rid of you to avenge Josephine would be if he cared for you.” She didn't know him like I did. I spent more time with him than I have with her. I hadn't wanted to see how his feelings had changed for her. Jealousy is a human emotion, but somehow I picked up the ability to feel it acutely.

“I thought he was coming to kill me when he showed up,” Ava says. “I couldn't believe you'd called him, of all people — whatever — to help. We talked a lot when we were coming to get you.” She did not tell me that part.

“What did you talk about?” I ask.

“The best way to survive the zombie apocalypse,” she says with a smile.

“What did he think?” Texas says, leaning forward.

“He agreed with me that the backward treadmill idea was insane and wouldn't work.” She smirks at Texas, who makes a frustrated sound.

“I still say you would have generators. What about solar power?”

Ava sighs and rolls her eyes.

“I still say you're underestimating the human race's ability to survive the zombie apocalypse,” Texas shoots back.

Ava shakes her head back and forth, her hair brushing my arm. “Not this again. Only the strong will survive, Tex. Most people will be too dumb to realize what's going on. We've been over this before.”

The conversation evolves into a discussion on the best way to dispose of zombies. Viktor puts in his part, and I add a little. Talking about zombies, something that doesn't exist, is a change from talking about Di, Cal and binds. I watch Ava as she talks. She is so passionate that it oozes out of her. I soak it up, taking it in like a drug.

Just as Ava makes the salient point — that if ninety percent of the world became a zombie, and it took an average of three bullets to kill a zombie, you would never be able to make enough bullets — Texas gasps, grabbing her stomach.

“Oh God, what is that?” she says, tipping to one side and resting her face on the arm of the couch.

“Ask him,” Ava says, pointing at Viktor. Her anger is back as quickly as it left.

“It is a reaction to the change. Have you fed?” I say.

“No. I was putting it off as long as possible,” Viktor says, putting his hand on Texas' shoulder.

“Ow, ow, ow.” Texas curls her feet up on the couch, and Viktor tries to hold her. “I did not sign up for this.”

“Just take some. It'll be better after you do. You shouldn't have waited this long. All you men are the same,” Ava says to Viktor, moving to comfort Texas.

Texas looks up at him. “Grow a pair,” she says through gritted teeth.

“Take it from the wrist. It is easier to hide,” I say. He picks up her right arm and brings it to his mouth.

“The left,” Texas says, “I'm right-handed.”

Viktor switches to her other arm, turning it back and forth as if to find the best spot. She winces as he bites, but her arm unclenches from around her stomach. I watch Viktor, judging if he is going to be able to stop. His eyes close and he focuses. It reminds me of the feeling, the rush of blood filling my mouth and how it sparkles on my tongue.

“That feels really weird,” Texas says.

Ava is watching her, but also Viktor, making sure he doesn't take too much. His eyes snap open, and he shoves her arm from his mouth with so much force it bangs into the coffee table.

“Ouch!” Texas cradles her arm to her chest. “What did you do that for?”

“I had to stop. Otherwise I would have killed you.”

Texas examines her wrist, where a tiny bit of blood drips. She wipes it off with her finger and holds it out to him. “Don't waste it,” she says, smiling.

Ava rushes to get a bandage to cover the wound. Viktor takes her finger and licks the last of the blood from it.

“Good boy,” she says, patting him on the cheek with her other hand.

Ava comes back with some gauze and bandages Texas' arm.

“That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Too bad we couldn't, like, suck it out and store it or something. Or freeze it! We could make you blood pops.”

“Doesn't work that way, Tex,” Ava says, gathering up the remnants of the bandage packaging. “The blood is only good when it's in your body. I don't really understand it, but that's how it works. It's no good once it's left your body.”

Texas' eyes go wide and she stares at Viktor. “You know I'm starting my period next week. You're not gonna attack me, are you?”

“That is not the kind of blood we desire. So you are safe. You will smell better during those days, but I will not attack you, Tex,” he says.

“Good to know, 'cause that's really gross, FYI.”

“Yeah, I thought about that, too,” Ava says, squirming in her seat. Humans are so squeamish sometimes with silly things.

“It is not something you have to worry about,” Viktor says, glancing at me.

“Good to know,” Texas says, glancing at her wrist. “I'm going to need to get some chunky bracelets or a watch or something. How much are you gonna need?”

“Not much,” Viktor says, which is what I told Ava.

“God, it's like you all use the same playbook,” Ava says, brushing her hand across her neck where the scarf hides her wound.

“How's your neck?” Texas asks, noticing.

“It's fine, actually. I think I'm getting numb to it or something.” She shrugs.

“We should do something,” Texas says, getting up. She wobbles for a moment on her feet and grabs her head. “Whoa, head rush.”

“Be careful,” Viktor says, getting up and holding her until she's steady. I see his hands linger on her. He has adjusted to the Claiming well.

“I have to pee,” Texas announces when she's stable on her feet.

“I'll go with you. Make sure you don't fall in.” Ava takes Texas' arm and leads her down the hall, throwing me a look over her shoulder.

Viktor and I wait until the girls are out of hearing range and hear their chatter resume before we speak.

“Who will you contact?”

“I'll start with Kamir and Rasha and move from there. I have not seen them in about forty years, but that is not unusual for them.”

Kamir and Rasha are from India and prefer to stay in seclusion, but they are both at least five-hundred and have made many other noctali. Somehow they became friends with Viktor before I was changed, and they kept in touch via email since then.

“Do you think they can be trusted?” I ask.

“I would not go to them if I didn't think so. I never trusted Cal, but I trusted you,” Viktor says. The quip would bother me, if I were bothered by such things.

“Do you think they will come to us?”

“They enjoy travel every fifty years or so. I do not think they have been to Maine before, so that should attract them. They rarely leave their palace.” Viktor told me stories of their sumptuous palace and their many children.

The girls are coming back, so we stop talking before they come down the hall. Ava and Texas are laughing, so that is a good sign.

“Stop talking about us,” Texas says, sitting back down next to Viktor. “Hey, we were talking and we think we should totally do a human night. Ava told me about when you went to Miller's, and I think it's an awesome idea. We never really got to do our date. Did you have anything in mind?”

“Yes. I have not been on a boat in a very long time. I flew when I came here a few weeks ago. Would you like that?” Viktor says.

“As long as you call me captain, and I get to wear one of those awesome hats,” Texas responds.

“I will find one for you, captain.” He salutes her. She giggles and ducks her head into her shoulder.

“Gag me,” Ava whispers.

“I heard that,” Texas says, glaring at Ava.

“I meant you to,” Ava says, sticking her tongue out at Texas. “We should get back. My mom's doing a thing and she needs some help.” She twists her hands together as she does when she's nervous.

“Speaking of your mom, I haven't been over to your house in forever. What's up with that?”

Ava cringes and I feel her anxiety. She hasn't told Texas about her mother's illness, but I know she will feel better after she does.

“Tell her,” I say.

“Shut up,” Ava says, looking down at her hands, spreading her fingers out.

“Tell me what? Are you about to tell me the thing that you've been keeping from me that I've been trying to get out of you forever?” Texas exaggerates the word forever, drawing it out.

“No,” Ava says, refusing to look up. I take one of her hands. Her stress moves to me, and I want her to get it out so she will stop obsessing about it. I am uncomfortable with her stress.

“Yes, it totally is. You'd better tell me right now, or I'll sick my noctalis on you.”

“He can't touch me, moron,” Ava says, finally looking up. Her eyes are hard, determined. She takes a deep breath, and I can see the words in her mind before she says them. It takes a few seconds for her to arrange the words in the way she wants them.

“My mom is sick. Really sick. She's, um... she's terminal.”

Texas' hand flies to cover her mouth. “What?”

“She's not going to make it,” Ava says, tears forming in her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks. I want to wipe them away, but all I can do is hold her hand and give her strength.

“Oh my God. I can't believe it. I thought she was doing okay.”

“She's not.”

“Ava,” Texas says, shaking her head. She gets up and gives Ava a hug, pulling her to her feet and wrapping her arms around her. Ava finally breaks, sobbing on Texas' shoulder. Her pain rips through me, but I don't get up to comfort her. This is something she needs to do with Texas.

“I'm not mad. I just wish I could have been there for you. I've been so horrible to you, making you go to all those parties and everything. Why didn't you say anything?”

“I couldn't. I didn't know how. If I say it out loud, that makes it real, and it can't be real, Tex, it just can't.” She sniffs loudly.

“I know, Ave, I know.” Texas rubs her back in soothing circles, rocking her slowly from side to side, as if they are slow dancing. Ava's shoulders shake and her crying fills the room. It is all I can do not to seize her and try to fix it.

“Why does this have to happen to me?”

“I don't know, honey, I don't know. I don't have answers for you. But I'm here for you, you know?”

“Yeah,” Ava says.

“Bad things happen to good people sometimes and there isn't a reason for it.”

“I'm so angry,” Ava says.

“I know.”

“Why would God do this to us?”

“I don't know, honey, I don't know.” Texas doesn't have answers, but her words have a calming effect on Ava, and her sobs slow to just tears. She wipes her eyes and Texas looks down at the wet patch Ava left on her shirt. “What are friends for? To let you snot and cry all over their brand-new shirts.”

“Right,” Ava says, and they both laugh.

Viktor watches them, as if he's fascinated. They are rather fascinating. Both of them.

Four

Brooke

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a dark place. My eyes cracked open, and my nose was punched with a musty odor. My body felt like it had been run over several times. Everything hurt, even my hair, although I knew that was impossible. I tried to move, but it wasn't going to happen.

“You're fine, love,” a British voice said. It was bright and sharp in the darkness. My eyes started to pick out details. I was in a stone room, about twenty feet square. The floor was dirt, and the ceiling was about twelve feet high. From the way his voice echoed, I could tell we were underground. I took a breath and heard an awful sound. I panicked, trying to get up. A hand touched my arm, pushing me back down. A face came into view. It was familiar, but not. I wanted him to make the pain stop.

“Do you know who you are, love?”

“Brooke. I'm Brooke.” My voice sounded different. It was clear and cold. I took another breath and heard the awful noise again. It was almost like a wheeze. As if the air was scraping the insides of my lungs.

“You don't need to breathe, Brooke. Your lungs no longer need the air. Do you understand?”

All at once I was assaulted by the room, him, the smells, and the sounds, and it was all too much. I closed my eyes, hoping it would go away. I just wanted it to go away.

“It hurts.”

“I know. It will be over soon.” A cool hand brushed my forehead. “Open your eyes, love. This is a whole new world, and soon you'll get to be a part of it. There are so many things I want to show you. We're going to see the world.”