My Unexpected Forever (23 page)

J
osie
and I are finishing last minute shopping for everything that we need for the wedding, Christmas and her New Year’s party – it all has to be done today. I know I’ll be back here tomorrow with the girls though. They’ve begged me to take them shopping so they can buy something for Harrison and Quinn. Christmas will be the first time he and I will spend any time together since we split. I’ve been able to avoid him at all costs, and that hasn’t been easy.

I never realized how much our lives were intertwined and they continue to stay that way. Quinn still comes to my house after school, but Harrison no longer comes inside to pick him up. I know Elle misses Harrison and is always asking to go to Liam’s to see him and now he’s connected with Peyton – albeit after we split - and she’s spending time more and more with him. I want to tell him that he needs to stop seeing them, but he’s making them laugh and right now, that’s the best thing for them.

My days since I’ve come back from Los Angeles have been spent helping Josie. I’m either working at her shop or I’m finalizing wedding plans. She’s managed to keep everything under control, but as the date gets closer I’ve submerged myself in being her personal assistant. It helps keep my mind off things. It’s during the night, after the kids have gone to bed, that my heart aches.

We finally decide to take a break. I pile my bags onto the bench and slide into the booth. My body sighs from tiredness. If another one of my friends decides to get married right after Christmas, remind me to tell them I’ll be on vacation. It’s mentally and physically exhausting trying to do both.

“How do you like Aubrey?’ I ask as I look over the menu. I’ve had the pleasure of working with her a few times, and as much as I hate to admit it, I like her and can see her fitting in very well with us. The question is; can Liam play nice with Nick?

“I really like her,” Josie says as she looks up from her menu. “She really complements Nick.”

“How are things with Nick?”

Josie sets her menu down just as the waiter appears at our table. After he’s taken our order, I look at her, waiting for her response.

“Things are good. Noah’s happy that he’s back and that’s important. Liam is being good and that makes me happy.”

“What you and Liam have done for Nick is very commendable.”

Josie dips her head. “I think it makes Liam uncomfortable though. When Noah went to Nick’s last week, Liam locked himself away in the studio.”

I reach for her hand and hold it in mine. “It can’t be easy for him, but he’s trying. He’s doing what’s best for his son.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

I release her hand and pick up my iced-tea.

“You know Liam and Harrison are in Los Angeles getting restraining orders against Sam and Alicia, right?”

I fight the sigh that is building. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?” she asks. “Liam created a child with that woman, and I’m still with him. If you listened to what Harrison told you - and I know you did because you’ve repeated it to me - why not talk to him? Even Liam said that those photographs were doctored.”

“It’s not that easy, Josie. Everything with him was so intense and I found myself making excuses to see him. He shouldn’t be my focus.”

“You’re right, Katelyn, he shouldn’t be; but
you
should be your focus and he was making you happy. You were smiling and laughing. I’m sorry, but that man is perfect for you and the girls and you won’t find anyone better than him.”

“Josie…”

Josie sighs and leans forward. “I love you like a sister, but I think your mind is clouded here. I believe in my heart that he’s been faithful to you and the girls. Why would he move here if he was with Alicia? Think about it, Katelyn, her story doesn’t match up to what we know. I wish I was thinking clearly when she was telling us her story because I would’ve called her out on the crap, but I was shocked, just like you. But now that I’ve had time to think about it, and we know about everything that Sam has done, I have no doubt it was a set-up to hurt Harrison, and it did just that. Just don’t let it continue to hurt both of you.”

I pick up my napkin and dab my eyes. I don’t know why I’m crying, maybe it’s because Josie is yelling at me. I know it’s not because she’s right or that I miss Harrison. That’s just not possible.

I
swipe away the fallen leaves from Mason’s headstone. My fingers find the grooves of his name and trace them. The Christmas tree the girls brought last week is still standing, despite the windy days we’ve been having. I straighten a few of the bulbs before setting my blanket down.

“It’s hard to come here, but I think you know that. I know your dad finds it harder and harder to visit, but the girls make him come. They don’t ask me though, and I’m not sure how I should feel about that. They miss you so much, Mason and I do too. Our lives are so different than they were a year and half ago.”

I sit down and look at his name. His mom is buried next to him, and his dad, when his time comes, will be buried next to her. Mason and I never bought plots or even made a will because we never thought anything would happen to us. Yet, here I am about to ask my dead husband what I should do.

“I met someone. Everyone tells me that you’d want me to move on, but it’s so hard to believe that you would. I remember how jealous you would get if someone would talk to me, so it’s hard to imagine you’d be okay with me loving someone else.

“I tried to be with Harrison. That’s his name. He’s a friend of Liam’s; they’re in the band together. The girls love him and he treats them really well, but I can’t help but think you wouldn’t be okay with this. How am I supposed to know that you’re okay with me bringing another man into my life? Into the girls’ lives?

“I need a sign, Mason. I need something to show me that you want me to move on. That it’s okay to love someone else, because right now, I’m set to be all myself if that’s what would make you happy.”

I lie down on my blanket and look at the clouds. The day is gray and overcast. I turn on my side and run my hands over the grass that covers his casket. “Tell me what to do Mason and I’ll do it. You hold my heart, and I’m so afraid to give it to someone else without your approval.”

No sooner do I speak the words does it start snowing. I roll onto my back and close my eyes, letting the snow fall slowly down to me. The snowflakes dance along my skin, landing on my eyelashes.
Snow kisses
Mason used to call them. Is this my sign? Is this enough for me to open my heart to someone else with his approval?

I
’m
crazy for planning this party. I’m not sure what I was thinking except I needed to get my mind off of things and what better way to do it than to have my girlfriends over for a mini party. The music is on and drinks are flowing. The girls are with my parents and we’re having a slumber party. I know it seems childish, but it’s better than driving home drunk.

I carry a tray of nachos into the living room. Josie, Jenna and Aubrey are on the floor, pillows surrounding them. We’ll all in our pajamas; it’s high school all over again. The only thing missing are the boys looming outside, ready to climb up the trestle. I wouldn’t put it past Liam to do that tonight.

“Okay, we should play a game,” Aubrey says with a smile. I’m glad she decided to come and hang out with us tonight.

“Oh, games are fun,” Jenna replies as she reaches for the nachos.

“Josie, these margaritas are good.” I don’t know how many I’ve had, but each one tastes better than the last.

“What game are we playing?” Josie asks.

“How about a slight variation of twenty questions,” Jenna suggests. “Obviously, we know a lot about each other and we’re getting to know Aubrey, but it’s girls night so let’s get down to the nitty gritty.”

“I’m game,” Aubrey says.

“Katelyn, remember when Mason had that party and we played spin the bottle?”

“Oh God,” I choke on my drink when Josie brings that up. “He got so pissed that we never made it into the closet, which I didn’t understand, since we were already… you know.”

“No, I don’t know, tell us.” Aubrey winks and Jenna starts laughing.

I roll my eyes. “You know…” I say nodding my head, but Aubrey just shakes hers. “Fine, we were having sex, so I didn’t see why it was so important to go into the closet. Only later did he tell me that it’s a rite of passage that all boys need to experience. Our next date, he took me to the freaking closet!”

They all start laughing. I can’t contain my laughter and snort so loudly that they all stop, only to start up again.

“Okay, okay, okay,” I say holding my hands up. “Seriously, my husband wasn’t always the most romantic, but…” I lose my thoughts. “Shots,” I call out to diffuse the tension I just created in the room.

Josie lines up the shots of tequila on my coffee table. “Lick, suck and slam, ladies, I’m almost a married woman.”

“Oh shit, that burns,” Aubrey says after she knocks hers back. I agree, but keep that to myself. “One more time,” she suggests, and none of us disagree.

Josie pours and lines them up. We count to three and repeat the process. We break out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“Katelyn, do you think Liam will try and sneak in here tonight?”

“Yes, I do. And probably Nick too, although not at the same time.”

“Were they ever friends?” Aubrey asks.

“Not really. Nick had a crush on Josie and Liam is possessive,” I say. “Nick moved here and just tried to fit in, but Mason and Liam had a solid friendship and it was hard for him.”

“They get along now,” Josie adds.

“Nick really loves Noah, you know,” Aubrey adds with a smile. I know she means well, but this isn’t the time to discuss their odd family relationship.

“I know he does. We’re trying, Aubrey.”

“I know and he appreciates it. Can I ask a question?”

I stop mid-bite and crunch on the chip I just picked up, slowly. I want to hear what Aubrey has to ask. I need a little bit of excitement in my life, even if it’s at the expense of my best friend.

“Sure,” Josie says.

“When Nick asked you about the wedding, you told him that you hadn’t set a date, why?”

Josie shakes her head slightly before looking at Aubrey. She smiles, genuinely and I know she likes her and is glad that Nick found someone.

“It was awkward to talk about getting married less than a year after he and I broke up. I froze and blurted out the first thing that came to me. I meant no disrespect and I’m happy that you’re here tonight.”

The room grows quiet except for the sounds of chips crunching and the music playing in the background.

“Most public place you’ve ever had sex?” Josie blurts out.

I’m going to need more to drink if we are playing sex games.

“Bleachers,” Jenna replies.

“I’ve never had sex in a public place, Nick was my first and it’s very cold here.” We try not to laugh, but we can’t help it. Aubrey starts laughing too. “I’ll tell him we need to try.”

“Oh yeah, Nick will love that,” Josie adds. “Fifty-yard line… last night,” she says. We look at her. Our mouths drop open. She shrugs and takes a drink of her margarita.

“I can’t believe you.”

“What, why not? Liam’s hot and yesterday he was Liam Page and I couldn’t resist. What about you Powell?”

I feel the blood rush to my head. I’ve only had sex outside one time, and that was with Harrison. “I, um… at this place called The Point, on a motorcycle.”

“What? Mason never had a… oh my God.” Josie covers her mouth. I feel my cheeks start to burn. I try to get up, but she pulls me back down. “On his motorcycle?”

I nod and am rewarded with squeals.

“Katelyn, that is seriously hot and with Harrison too. I’d do him.” I look up at Jenna and wonder why she’d say that. “Oh let’s play Kiss, Marry, Screw.” Jenna continues, “I’ll go first. I’d totally kiss Matt Dillon, but only when he was in the Outsiders. I’d marry Harrison and screw Jimmy.”

“What? Ewe Jenna. Jimmy is a such a dirty dog,” Josie says, but I’m still trying to process what she said about Harrison.

“Why Harrison?” I ask.

“Why not Harrison? A man that’s good with his son? Heaven.”

“Okay, my turn. I’d kiss Vampire Erik, marry Will Smith and screw Ryan Gosling,” Aubrey adds.

“Hey girllll,” Jenna throws out there. I look at her with confusion. “It’s his thing,” she says.

“I guess it’s my turn,” I say. “I’d kiss McDreamy, marry Prince Harry and screw Ryan Stevenson.”

“Ryan Stevenson?” Josie asks. I realize I’ve made a mistake.

“He’s a drummer.”

“You know other drummers?”

I sigh and cover my face. “Harrison showed me a picture of him one night.” I pour myself another shot and down it.

“Why would you want another drummer when you have that fine man waiting for you,” I look at Jenna questioningly. She shrugs. “Harrison’s a catch.”

“What?” I choke out.

“Nothing. My go,” Jenna says enthusiastically.

“Josie didn’t get a turn,” Aubrey adds.

Josie waves her hand. “Liam, Liam and Liam for all my answers.”

I roll my eyes. “Figures.”

“I have a good one. I’d kiss Nicholas Hoult, marry Henry Cavill and screw David Beckham,” Jenna says with a bit of flair.

“What’s with all the Brits?” I ask.

“It’s the British accent. It does things to me.”

“Ah, so that’s why you want to play with Jimmy,” Josie teases.

“He’s sweet,” she says.

“But he’ll never settle down. He likes the ladies too much.” Josie knows this from Liam, I’m sure. Harrison and I never really talked about Jimmy. “But Harrison on the other hand, I can see him settling down.”

I raise my eyebrow at Josie. I don’t know what she’s playing at but I don’t like it. I take another shot. I need to erase him from my mind.

“Maybe I should ask him out,” Jenna responds.

“Um, no, maybe you shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” she asks. Josie moves closer, holding a pillow in her lap.

“Because you can’t.”

“But you broke up,” Josie throws out there. I lean over and cover my face.

“You guys, I think you’re embarrassing her.” If I could lean over and kiss Aubrey I would.

“I’m going to text Liam and tell him to come over.” Josie suddenly changes the subject.

“Oh, have him bring Harrison too,” Jenna says excitedly.

“No, don’t,” I hastily reply. The last thing I need is for Harrison to turn up and make things even more uncomfortable than they already are.