Mr. Terupt Falls Again (22 page)

I got a lift home from Jeffrey’s father while Mr. T stayed back in the parking lot, talking to my parents. It was an unofficial parent-teacher conference. Mom and Dad made it home about thirty minutes after me and then we had a parent-child conference. I was scared.

The mail from Riverway was my acceptance letter, but it came with a condition. It was the condition that sent my parents into orbit and on a rampage to my wrestling practice. I would need to write a letter or revisit and interview again, explaining my change of heart and newfound desire
to attend Riverway, before I would be officially admitted. This news came as a surprise to Mom and Dad.

“Peter, do you want to go to Riverway in the fall?” Mom asked.

“No,” I said.

Dad got up and left the room. That was the end of my short conversation with him. Mom sighed.

“Okay, Peter. This is too much for your father right now, but I’ll talk to him. This letter says we need to wait until after the school year anyway, but if you still don’t want to go by then, well, we’ll see.” Mom got up and walked over to me. She bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Sorry about tonight, honey.” Then she left the room.

It was a step in the right direction. My parents finally knew how I felt. Things were still up in the air, and I was nervous about not knowing my future, but after Lexie’s performance at Exchange Day number two I almost told my parents that Riverway did sound like a good idea. Except I still needed to be around for Mr. T. I wish I knew the answer.

P
eter has a big heart. He would do anything for Mr. T. He was just trying to protect him. By the time I got out there, Peter was already getting off Derek and trying to explain to him that you couldn’t throw snowballs here. A crowd gathered around and I started to get very nervous.

“You’re just mad ’cause I spent the day with your girlfriend,” Derek said.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

I heard Peter say that plain as day, but I also heard the defeat in his voice when he said it. I hurt inside to hear Peter sound like that. If he liked Lexie, which he obviously did, then seeing her put a show on for those other boys must have really upset him. But he wasn’t the only one that hurt. Deep down, I wanted Peter to like me. I’d had a crush on him ever since the summer. We spent a lot of time together.

“Get on the bus!” Mrs. Stern barked to her students. The crowd that had gathered separated immediately. Everyone listened to her. I was thankful she was there to help, but I was even more thankful that she wasn’t my teacher. I would have still been in hiding with a drill sergeant like that. That much I knew for sure.

Peter and I started on our way back to the classroom while the rest of the visitors got on the bus and Mr. Terupt shared a few final words with drill-sergeant lady.

“I’m sorry that what Lexie did today hurt you,” I told Peter.

Peter scuffed his foot along the ground. “Yeah, well, whatever. It’s okay,” he said.

Of course he didn’t really mean that, and I wanted to tell him I liked him, but I didn’t have the nerve. Peter said something else instead. And when he did, I almost died.

“Jeffrey’s got the hots for you, though.”

“What are you talking about?” I said.

“It’s true. He does. Lexie and I are beginning to edit and add music to the wedding documentary that he and Jessica have been making, and Jeffrey’s camera seems to always find you. We need to keep deleting those parts—sorry.”

“Well, it doesn’t mean anything just because I show up on his camera.”

“Maybe not,” Peter said. “But when I teased him about it at wrestling practice one night he didn’t deny it. He likes you, Anna.”

Now I thought something was wrong with me. Two seconds ago I was hurting inside because the boy I liked, Peter, liked another girl—Lexie. But finding out that Jeffrey
thought I was special suddenly changed things. Jeffrey had a big heart. And he was cute.

I was upset with myself because my feelings changed so easily, but Mom put me at ease when we had our talk and she said that at my age feelings tended to change like the wind.

She told me this at the beginning of a conversation that had been waiting to happen for so long. We were on our way home from the center. My project with Jeffrey was long over, but Mom and I weren’t ready to stop visiting. We’d grown very attached to some of the residents and Nurse Rose, and went there at least once or twice a week.

Since Jeffrey’s family had adopted Asher, it was only Mom and I in the car. Sometimes our car rides were silent because we were both tired from busy days, or we were thinking. Other times we had conversation for the whole ride, talking about whatever was on our minds. Mom liked to talk about Charlie, and I never tired of listening to her happy voice. But on this particular day our ride home started out in silence and remained that way until I finally found the courage to bring it up. “Mom, it’s time,” I said. “I want you to tell me about my father.”

Silent riding again. Mom needed a minute to think about what I had said. “Why now?” she asked.

“Because things in school have got me thinking about him.”

Mom nodded. “Sounds like a fair enough reason,” she said.

“There’s more.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve noticed how Lexie and her mom are tight with
money, and I know Jessica’s mom has money, but what about us? How do we have enough to live comfortably?”

“You’re right, honey. You’re ready for some answers,” Mom said. She leaned over and turned the radio off, then sat back up and took a big breath. “Okay,” she said. “You know that Danielle’s family frowned upon us because having a child out of wedlock was a situation they couldn’t accept. They’re very serious churchgoers.”

“Yes,” I said. “I know.”

“But I told you that my parents and I were also very active in the same church.”

“I remember.”

“Well, sometimes churches organize retreats. Getaways with a spiritual focus. They can be for families, adults, or young people. I especially liked the ones for young people.”

Mom glanced over at me. I was following, and had a feeling I knew where she was headed with her story.

“You’re probably guessing that I met your father on one of those retreats.”

I nodded.

“Well, I did.”

I looked at her now. Her eyes stared straight ahead at the road. Me, on the other hand—I went bug-eyed. Two young people making a baby during a church retreat. As Danielle would say,
Holy cow
!

Mom slowed for a stop sign. “We actually saw each other on several retreats before anything intimate happened. He was the first boy to show any interest in me. Naturally, because of that my heart raced whenever he was around.”

Mom looked both ways, then eased forward.

“At that young age, your feelings change like the wind when you find out someone likes you,” Mom said.

I thought of Peter and Jeffrey. Boy, did Mom have that right. My feelings changed like the flip of a switch. I felt better knowing that was normal at my age.

“This boy was very sweet to me, Anna. He didn’t pressure me. He didn’t need to. I went along with everything because I liked his attention.”

Mom stopped talking and looked over at me.

“Okay, so then what happened?” I said.

“The hard part,” my mom answered. “I told your father I was pregnant the next time I saw him, which was at another retreat about two months later. I guess at that point he acted like a high school boy. He was scared and wanted nothing more to do with me. He told me he was sorry. He didn’t want to be a dad.”

“That’s it?” I said. “He just walked away from you?”

“That’s it,” Mom said. “That was the last time I saw him.”

“I thought you said he was a good man.” I felt my voice getting louder and the blood pounding in my temples. “He was nothing but a jerk.”

“I still think he was a good person, Anna. He just wasn’t ready to deal with … a pregnancy. He was kind and nice to me. He didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to.”

“But he left you when you needed him most.”

“I let him.”

“Why?” I said.

“I don’t know. I just did. If he didn’t want to be a part
of what was going to happen, then I wasn’t going to make him. I would have been dealing with an ugly person—and his family. I didn’t want warring families. That would have been too much. I feel better thinking of your father as a good person.”

I shifted in my seat and tried to calm myself. We were quiet for a minute before Mom spoke again.

“Are you ready for the rest?” she said.

I sighed, still not happy, but I nodded. How much worse could it get?

“I didn’t tell my parents I was pregnant right away. A girl can be sneaky and hide that sort of thing if she wants. I’ve heard stories of people not knowing a girl was pregnant until she goes into labor and delivers the baby. That wasn’t me. I didn’t tell right away because I was scared, but I didn’t try to hide it once I started showing either. I loved you from the very beginning and was never going to be ashamed of you. Your grandparents didn’t handle it well, though, so I never told them who the father was. I didn’t see any good coming out of it. My parents were ashamed and wanted me to put you up for adoption.” Mom looked over at me. “And then I was met by an angel.”

Now I looked sideways at Mom. What was she talking about?

“That’s right, an angel,” she said.

I nodded, but with my eyebrows scrunched. Mom drove along at a Sunday driver’s pace, neither of us in any hurry. There was no need to rush a conversation that had been waiting since my birth.

“Miss Leila Mae was a lifelong friend of
my
grandmother’s. She was a sweet old woman living all alone. Well, she heard about what was going on—people talk in small towns—and she came and found me. Miss Leila Mae insisted that if my grandmother had still been around, she would have helped me. Since Grandma wasn’t around, Miss Leila Mae took it upon herself to help us.”

I tried picturing Miss Leila Mae. I thought of her as a short, plump woman with wavy white hair. I bet she smelled of pie, too. And she probably liked to touch you when she talked to you.

Mom continued, “I started staying with Miss Leila Mae before you were even born. I slowly moved all my things over to her place. Maybe if your grandparents had seen you—just once—things would be different. Babies can change people. They can make miracles happen because babies
are
miracles. Just look what Asher did for Jeffrey’s family.

“We stayed with Miss Leila Mae for the next two years. She helped care for you while I completed my GED. When I say I have a GED, people automatically think I must be stupid. But really it was just the result of our situation. The classes were a piece of cake for me and I breezed through all of it. I was actually a very strong student in school.

“During this time my parents sold the house and moved south. Some of the money from the sale arrived in the mail one day. I’m still thankful for that, but that was the end of the help and communication from your grandparents. I haven’t talked to them since.”

I sat still, staring out the window as we drove down the
road. The air felt thick and heavy around me. And it felt like my heart was beating harder and slower. I was listening to the story of my beginning.

“Anna, Leila Mae couldn’t have children of her own, so she thought of us as the children she never got to have. I thought of her as our guardian angel. I have no idea what would have become of us if it weren’t for her.”

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“Miss Leila Mae passed away just after your second birthday. She died in her sleep one night. In her will she left us her house and all her money.”

“Do you mean the house we live in used to be Leila Mae’s home?”

“Yes,” Mom said.

Wow! I thought. Miss Leila Mae did sound like an angel. We drove past the old airport, site of the Snow Hill Carnival that everyone was beginning to talk about. It was a highlight for our entire community. Seeing it made me think of Danielle and her family. They were among the leaders behind the carnival and were already beginning to work hard to organize and prepare for it.

“What about Charlie?” I said.

“He knows.”

I scooched up in my seat, shocked. “What do you mean he knows?” I said, looking at Mom again.

“He knows everything. Like you, he wondered about money and how we were managing. He wasn’t trying to be nosy. He was asking out of concern, and wanted to help if he could.”

Mom paused while she slowed down and turned onto our road. “The money from Leila Mae and from your grandparents allowed me to stay home with you until you started school. In those early years I was lucky—I only had to worry about being your mom. We were able to spend a lot of time together.”

Lucky, I thought. How many people on the outside thought of us as lucky? Mom was right, though. I felt lucky. I have for a long time. I have the best mom.

“Charlie says we’ve renewed his faith. He thinks our story is what the Lord is all about. He thinks we know more about faith than most people who go to church every Sunday. He says his family, except for Grandma Evelyn and Grandpa Alfred, has learned to forgive because of us. Maybe that’s part of what the Lord intended.”