Authors: Humphrey Carpenter
âO frog,' said Jody in her high voice, âO frog, I command you, turn back into a prince!' And she kissed the frog.
âNow, really,' said Mr Potter, âI'm not at all in favour of nature-study being mixed up with story-times. And school curtains should not be used for this sort of thing. While as to that frog, its proper place is a pond. I'll
allow tadpoles in school, but not frogs. They jump out of the tanks and get all over the place. Now, if you'll just hand that one over ⦠Where is it?'
âHere I am,' said Hamish Bigmore. He had appeared out of nowhere, and the frog was gone.
Mr Potter sat down very suddenly in the nearest chair. âI don't feel very well,' he said.
âAh,' said Hamish Bigmore, âyou should try being a frog for a few days. Does you no end of good. Makes you feel really healthy, I can tell you. All that swimming about, why, I've never felt better in my life. And being kissed by princesses, too. Not that my princess was a real one.' He turned to Mr Majeika. âYou really should have taken me to Buckingham Palace,' he said. âI'm sure the Queen herself would have done it, to oblige me.'
Mr Potter got to his feet and left the room, muttering something about needing to go and see a doctor because he was imagining things.
âAnd now,' said Hamish Bigmore to Class Three, âI'm going to tell you all about the life and habits of the frog.' Which he did, at great length.
âOh dear,' said Pete to Thomas. âHe's worse than ever.'
It was about three weeks after this that several of Class Three went to see a film about Superman.
âThe best bit,' said Jody to Pete and Thomas, âwas when he flew right over those tall buildings. I'd love to be able to fly like that. Do you think people ever can?'
âI shouldn't have thought so,' said Pete. âBut you could ask Mr Magic. I'm sure he'd know.'
So, when Class Three were beginning their next lesson, Jody did ask him: âMr Magic, can you really fly, like Superman?'
Mr Majeika smiled at her over his glasses.
âIf you mean
me
, then certainly not! I'm too old for such things. But someone a bit younger could manage it, with a little help.'
âDo you mean a little magic?' asked Jody. Mr Majeika nodded.
âRubbish!' shouted Hamish Bigmore. âYou couldn't make
anyone
fly, Mr Magic. No one could. It's scientifically impossible.' Since the business of the frog, Hamish Bigmore had been behaving worse than ever. Obviously he thought Mr Majeika wouldn't dare to do anything else to him.
Mr Majeika sighed wearily. âIt is not rubbish, Hamish Bigmore, but I don't intend to waste time showing you.'
âOh do, please
do
,' said Jody, and soon there was a chorus of: âYes,
do
, Mr Magic! Couldn't you, just
once
?'
âOf course he can't,' sneered Hamish Bigmore.
âVery well then,' snapped Mr Majeika, âjust to prove Hamish Bigmore wrong, I will. But it will have to wait until tomorrow, when I can bring the potion.'
Everyone fell silent, wondering what âthe potion' was.
When the next day came, Mr Majeika seemed at first to have forgotten all about his promise, for he said nothing about it. At last Jody asked him: âDid you bring the flying potion, Mr Magic?'
Mr Majeika frowned. âWell, yes, I did. But really I think the whole idea is a mistake. I'd much rather we forgot all about it. These things have a way of getting out of hand â¦'
âThere you are!' jeered Hamish Bigmore. âI told you he couldn't do it.'
âOh, really, Hamish Bigmore, you're enough to try the patience of a witch's broomstick,' grumbled Mr Majeika. âI
suppose I'll
have
to do it just to keep you quiet.'
âDo what, Mr Magic?' asked Thomas.
âWhy, give you all some of the flying potion,' said Mr Majeika.
There was a happy uproar. âWhat, all of us?' asked Pete. âAre we all going to be able to fly?'
âWell, it'll have to be all or none,' answered Mr Majeika. âCan you imagine how jealous everyone would be if I only let one or two of you do it? But it won't be proper flying, mind. Just a little hover in the air. The potion is far too precious to be wasted.'
Class Three tried to make him change his mind and allow them to fly properly, but he wouldn't. So in the end they queued up, and were each given a very small spoonful by Mr Majeika. It was green and sticky, and tasted like a rather nice cough mixture. Only
Hamish Bigmore refused to have any; he said the whole idea was silly.
As soon as they had taken it, Class Three began to jump up and down, in the hope of taking off into the air. But nothing happened.
They were all dreadfully disappointed. âThere you are!' sneered Hamish Bigmore. âI told you so! It doesn't work!'
âOh, but it does,' said Mr Majeika. âI forgot to tell you that it takes exactly half an hour before anything happens. So we must get on with the lesson for the next half hour, and
then
see.'
It was a very long, slow half hour, and even when it ended nothing happened to Class Three. âWhat's gone wrong?' Jody asked Mr Majeika.
âNothing,' answered Mr Majeika, smiling. âYou can't just sit there and expect to fly without
doing
anything.'
âDo you mean we should wave our arms about or something?' asked Pete.
Mr Majeika shook his head. âNo, my friend. The secret is to
think
about flying. If the notion of flying comes into your head, then â hey presto!'
âI'm thinking hard about it,' said Jody. âI'm thinking about floating up in the air from my desk, and â Oh!
Oh!
' Suddenly she found herself doing just that.
In a moment they were all doing it. It was a very peculiar feeling; you simply had to think about leaving the ground, and you did. What's more, once you were in the air, if you thought about (say) spinning round like a top, you found yourself doing it. Pete said:
âI'm going to think about floating across the room to the door â' and there he was, doing just that.
The only thing that disappointed them was that they were never very far from the floor. âCan't you let us go higher?' they pleaded with Mr Majeika.
He shook his head. âToo risky,' he said. âYou might bump your heads on the ceiling, or do all kinds of dreadful things. And anyway, I want to save my precious flying potion. It always wears off in half an hour, however much you take, so it would be an awful waste to give you lots of it.'
Alas, it did wear off in half an hour, to everyone's regret, and all too soon they were
down on the ground again, quite unable to float, however much they thought about it.
âWell, my friends,' said Mr Majeika, âI hope you enjoyed that. And,' he turned to Hamish Bigmore, who had been sitting watching everyone else float through the air, âI hope
you
believe me now.'
âOh yes, Mr Magic,' answered Hamish Bigmore, with a rather peculiar smile on his face.
âVery good,' said Mr Majeika. âWell then, let me put the potion away, and we can get on again with our proper lessons, which today â' He stopped suddenly. âWhat's happened to the potion?' he said.
The bottle had vanished.
â
Where is the potion?
' said Mr Majeika again, in an anxious voice. âIt was on my desk. Someone has picked it up and hidden it. Will they please return it at once?'
No one said anything. Mr Majeika turned to Hamish Bigmore. âHamish,' he said, âsomehow I have a feeling that
you
are behind this.'
Hamish Bigmore shook his head. âOh, no, Mr Majeika,' he said sweetly, âwhy should
I
do a thing like that?'
Mr Majeika looked at him steadily. âTurn out your pockets,' he said to Hamish. But the bottle wasn't in Hamish's pockets.
After that, Mr Majeika searched everyone in Class Three, saying as he did so: âOh dear, I
knew
I shouldn't have brought the potion to school. One of you has played a wretched trick on me, and it's quite unfair.'
âPerhaps,' suggested Hamish Bigmore, âthe bottle itself can fly, and it's flown away?' He laughed uproariously, but Mr Majeika was not amused.
Nowhere could the bottle be found, and
by the end of school for that day Mr Majeika was looking very worried and very cross.
âI'm sure it
is
Hamish,' said Pete to Thomas. âHe had something tucked under his coat when he left the classroom.'
âWell,' said Thomas, âI'm sure we'll find out who's got it. Whoever they are, they're bound to start flying pretty soon.'
But no one did. Days went by, then several weeks, and nothing peculiar happened in Class Three. After a time Mr Majeika, who at first had continued to look very worried and cross, stopped seeming to be so unhappy about the loss of his potion. Eventually he seemed to have forgotten all about it.
The weather gradually began to warm up. One morning, about two weeks before the end of term, it was so hot that Mr Majeika opened the windows in Class Three. For some reason Hamish Bigmore seemed very pleased at this, though no one could make out why.
Mr Majeika was in charge of school dinner that day, and he walked up and down between the tables, making sure that everyone was eating tidily and not making a mess. Hamish Bigmore was being unusually nice to him. âOh, Mr Magic,' he kept saying, âisn't it a lovely day? I do hope you're feeling well today?'
âYes, thank you, Hamish,' said Mr Majeika, obviously pleased that Hamish was being polite.
âIs there anything I can get you?' Hamish asked, smiling sweetly. âI'm sure the dinner-ladies would give me a cup of tea for you if I asked them nicely. Shall I go to the kitchen and see?'
Mr Majeika smiled back at Hamish. âThat's very kind of you,' he said. âYes, I would love a cup of tea if they can make me one without too much trouble.' And off went Hamish.
A few minutes later he came back, carrying the tea. âHere you are, Mr Magic,' he said, still smiling sweetly. âI do hope you like it.'
âThank you, Hamish,' said Mr Majeika, putting it down on the table to let it cool before drinking it.
At this moment Mr Potter bustled up. âAh, Mr Majeika, I wonder if we could do a bit of a change-round this afternoon? I haven't seen much of Class Three this term, so I'd like to take them after lunch, and you can
take Class Four, whom I'd normally be teaching. Will that be all right?'
âCertainly,' said Mr Majeika.
âThat's fine,' said Mr Potter, and he was just going when he saw the cup of tea. âAh,' he said, rather puzzled. âI see the dinner-ladies have left my tea out here today. I always have a cup of tea after lunch, you know. Wakes me up!' And with that, he downed the tea at one gulp, muttered âFar too much sugar,' and hurried back to his office.
Hamish Bigmore had gone rather pale. âWhat's the matter?' Pete asked him.
Hamish said nothing. But a moment later, after Mr Majeika had gone off to teach Class Four, he whispered to Pete: âWe're for it now! Really for it!'
âWhat do you mean?' asked Pete.
âThat cup of tea!' said Hamish. âIt was meant for Mr Magic.'
âI know that,' said Pete. âBut I don't think he really minded Mr Potter drinking it.'
âIt's not that, you ass,' said Hamish. â
There was flying potion in it
.'
â
What
?' shouted Pete.
âSsh!' said Hamish. âI meant it for Mr Majeika. I thought I'd get my own back for being turned into a frog, so I hid the flying potion and meant to make him drink it all one day when the window was open, and I hoped he'd fly away out of the window and
never come back. And now Mr Potter's drunk it instead!'
âWas there a lot in the cup?' asked Pete.
âThe whole bottle,' said Hamish gloomily. âI can't imagine what's going to happen.'
Pete thought for a few moments. Then he said: âIf odd things start to happen to Mr Potter, we'll
all
get into trouble, you can be sure of that. And if he finds out that Mr Magic's flying potion is at the back of it, you can be sure Mr Magic will lose his job, and Class Three will be given an ordinary teacher instead. Now, that may be what
you
want, Hamish Bigmore, but the rest of us certainly don't. So I'm going to warn everyone
not to pay any attention if Mr Potter starts to fly
. It's the only hope â¦'
When Mr Potter arrived to teach Class Three fifteen minutes later, everyone had been warned. They sat silently at their desks,
knowing that something very odd was probably going to happen, but determined not to laugh or give any other sign that something extraordinary was going on.
In fact, for a very long time nothing happened at all. Mr Potter began to give them an ordinary, boring lesson, and the afternoon dragged by as slowly as usual.
âIt takes half an hour to work,' Jody whispered to Thomas. âThe flying potion, I mean.'
âThe half hour was up a long time ago,' whispered Thomas. âI can't think why nothing's happening.'
â
I
know,' whispered Pete. âIt's because he's not
thinking
about flying. You've got to think about it in order to leave the ground.'
âWell, let's hope he
doesn't
think about it,' whispered Pandora.
Mr Potter glanced up irritably. âStop that
whispering at the back!' he said. âHave any of you been listening to me? What have I been talking about, Jody?'
There was an awkward silence as Jody tried to remember what Mr Potter had been saying. âIt was something about how the wind works, wasn't it?' she asked hopefully.
âCertainly not!' spluttered Mr Potter. âI have been giving you a lesson on the force of gravity. Do you know what gravity is?'
Jody shook her head.
âOh, really!' said Mr Potter. âYou haven't been listening at all. Gravity is the thing which keeps us all on the ground, and stops us floating up
into the air
â¦'
His voice became a squeak of surprise on these last three words, for as he spoke them, he himself left the floor and began to rise slowly towards the ceiling.
There were a few snufflings among Class Three as they stuffed handkerchieves into their mouths to stop themselves laughing. But otherwise, silence.
Mr Potter had stopped rising, and was suspended in mid-air, about four feet from the floor, âEr,' he said, âsomething peculiar seems to have â¦' He looked at Class Three, and Class Three looked back at him. No one laughed or said anything. Slowly, Mr Potter came down to the ground.
âHe must have stopped thinking about floating,' whispered Jody. âLet's make him talk about something else. That should keep his mind off it.'
âMr Potter,' said Thomas loudly, âwe don't really want to hear any more about the force of gravity. Why not tell us about winds instead?'
âCertainly not!' said Mr Potter crossly. âKindly attend to the lesson. As I was saying, gravity stops us from floating in the air. Now you may ask how it is that birds manage to fly? Let me tell you. When birds wave their wings â' He started to wave his arms to show them what he meant; and, as he did so, he rose once more in the air. At first he didn't seem to notice, and simply went on talking.
âBy moving their wings,' he said, âbirds create a current of air which permits them to
fly wherever they want. They can fly to the left' (and so saying, Mr Potter flew across the classroom) âor to the right' (he flew back to his desk) âor round and round in circles.'
As he said these last words, Mr Potter slowly circled the room, and then returned to his desk. He looked puzzled. âEr,' he said, âI don't know how to put this, boys and girls, but during the last few minutes, while I was talking to you, I had the strange sensation that ⦠well, that
I
was flying like a bird. Did you notice anything odd, boys and girls?'
âOh no,' said Thomas.
âWe didn't see a thing,' said Pete.
âYou must have imagined it,' said Jody.
âOnly,' said Thomas, âwe wish you'd stop thinking about â I mean talking about â flying, and tell us about something else.'
âListen, boy,' said Mr Potter crossly, âI am going to finish my lesson on the force of
gravity, and I want no more interruptions from you! Now you must understand that, if it were not for the force of gravity, we couldn't simply walk about on two legs. Why, we'd often find ourselves standing on our heads!' And of course, as he said these words, Mr Potter's feet rose a little from the ground and he slowly turned right over in the air, coming to rest standing on his head.
There was silence. âAre you
sure
nothing peculiar is happening to me, boys and girls?' came Mr Potter's voice from the floor.
âOh, nothing at all,' said Pandora Green. âYou're just standing by your desk as usual.'
âOh,' said Mr Potter. âOh well ⦠I really ought to go and see a doctor about these funny things I keep imagining ⦠Still, I must finish the lesson.' He cleared his throat. âNot only would we often find ourselves standing on our heads,' he continued, âbut
without gravity we could simply float out through any open window, sail up into the sky, and never come back.'
And of course, exactly as these words left Mr Potter's lips, he left the floor and began to float, still upside-down, towards the open window.
âQuick!' shouted Pete. âSomeone shut the window, or he'll never be seen again.'
Everyone made a rush for the window. But just at that moment the bell rang for the
end of afternoon school; and as it did so, Mr Potter came back to earth with a bump and sat up, rubbing his head.