âI come here to relax,' said Sir Cecil, flashing his torch about. âExplore, sit and think, or just chat with Algernon.'
As the boat gently moved through the tunnel, Mr Badger admired a series of different displays. They were lit by tiny lights as well as the occasional beam from Sir Cecil's torch.
âMade them myself,' said Sir Cecil proudly, pointing at the various scenes. âAll plaster, wood and papier-mâché. Frighteningly realistic, aren't they?'
Mr Badger noted that each scene was like a shop-window display: here, some reindeer caught in mid-leap; there, a scene in the Swiss Alps with papiermâché mountain climbers. Yet another scene showed some ancient cavemen. There were some cavewomen, too. And nearby was a family of sweet little gnomes sitting outside their toadstool house.
âQuite a mixture,' he said, impressed.
Even though Mr Badger appreciated the gnomes outside their toadstool house, one gnome with a curled lip left him feeling uneasy â and his instincts were proven correct for, sure enough, as they passed, this particular gnome leapt off the toadstool and hissed, then bared its razor-sharp teeth.
While Mr Badger was alarmed at first, neither Algernon nor Sir Cecil took any notice, so Mr Badger followed their example and settled back to enjoy the ride. The boat continued to move gently on its journey along the channel beneath the castle.
Suddenly, out of the darkness leapt a hideous creature with long webbed feet. Green and slimy scales covered its body, and devil-like horns protruded from an awful head. It snarled, revealing rotten yellow fangs.
âTake no notice,' said Sir Cecil. âI'm sure its bark is worse than its bite.'
Raising his eyebrows, Mr Badger did as requested and looked the other way.
It was a horrifying sight.
His eyes had barely adjusted to the dark again when, without any warning, an even more terrifying sight presented itself right in front of him. It was a ghost, with eyes glowing red and a body white and shimmering. Emitting a horrible howl, it lurched towards Sir Cecil and a startled Mr Badger.
âOh, do move along, please,' requested Sir Cecil, brushing past the phantom. âNow I must show you my sailing ship, Mr Badger.'
They continued on their tour for quite some time in peace after that, unaware that they were to be disturbed once moreâ¦
T
he little boat stopped alongside a magnificent galleon. While Algernon kept one foot in the tiny boat and the other on the deck of the galleon, he hoisted Sir Cecil and Mr Badger up with a swing of his very long arm.
Sir Cecil was proudly showing Mr Badger over his ship when a bloodcurdling scream came from high up in the main mast. Down dropped a pirate, brandishing a cutlass.
âGood heavens!' said Mr Badger. He had never met a pirate before.
It was a small but nasty pirate.
This was a very short pirate, but a pirate nonetheless, with disgusting teeth and greasy hair pulled back into an untidy pigtail. One eye â no doubt lost in a sword fight â was covered with a patch.
On the pirate's head sat a big black hat with skull and crossbones, just like Mr Badger had seen in his pirate books, while in the middle of a nasty, mean face sat a cruel and evil smile.
âMove it, measly scum!' said the rude pirate, waving the cutlass menacingly. âI'll have you walking the plank, down, down deep into the shark-infested waters below.'
It was a long way down, and Mr Badger couldn't swim.
Mr Badger looked over the side. It certainly was a long way down, and he was scared of heights.
âI beg your pardon,' replied Sir Cecil Smothers-Carruthers, as cool as a cucumber. âWe'll be doing no such thing.'
Mr Badger wondered if their luck had run out, for this pushy pirate seemed scarier than the web-footed monster, the red-eyed phantom and the nasty fanged gnome all put together.
What a day â and where will it end?
he thought, noting again that it was quite a drop to the murky waters below, and remembering with a shudder that he couldn't swim.
âStep aside, you beastly brute,' demanded Sir Cecil bravely.
But the pushy pirate continued to wave the cutlass, edging them along the wobbling plank. Mr Badger tried not to look down.
Suddenly, with a giant leap, Algernon jumped into the air and landed back on the plank with an almighty thud, shaking the weapon from the pirate's hand.
Mr Badger was bounced way uuuuuuuuup into the air.
Oh dear
, he thought, closing his eyes, waiting for the splash. He thought of darling daughter Berenice and baby Badger's bedtime stories⦠and muffins and hot chocolate with Mrs Badger! Would he ever see them again?